Kill Them With Your Kindness

Part 2 of the Untraveled Road Universe

By Allietheepic7

Peter really hadn't given much thought to Deadpool's family life until the mercenary had ambushed him about babysitting his little brother. Though, to be fair, Peter preferred not to think about the infuriating man and his inability to make sense. It was hard to avoid the real thing kidnapping you, however.

"~Please, Spidey!" Deadpool begged as he hugged Peter's legs to prevent the hero from leaving. "Come on, it's only for a few hours! The author insists that it's a good idea and will help prevent separation anxiety!"

Peter shook his head. This man… "I do have a city to defend, remember?"

"I can totally do that!"

"Can't you call anyone else?"

"Cable's refusing to talk to me and I don't want Harry to be traumatized by Logan just yet. Please? If not for me, then do it for Harry!"

The child in question was peeking at them from over the back of the couch. Peter admitted that the kid was cute, with his floppy hair and huge eyes…that were slowly filling with tears. Crap.

Peter sighed, rubbing a hand over his mask. "Fine," he said. "Just…don't kill anyone."

"Aye, Captain!" Deadpool sprung up and saluted. He hugged Harry tightly and said, "You make as much trouble for Spidey as you can, okay Hare-Bear?"

The kid buried his face in the Merc's shoulder. "Y-You're coming back, right?" he asked in a quiet voice. Peter flinched slightly.

"In 3 hours, kiddo. Can you wait that long?" Harry nodded and, with a mask-kiss on the head, the mercenary left the apartment.

This left Peter and Harry staring at each other owlishly. Needing to break the silence, Peter held his hand out to the kid. "You probably know this, but my name is Spiderman."

"You're on my sweatshirt."

Peter blinked in surprise. "What?"

In response, Harry got off the couch and went into one of the 2 bedroom. Now that Spiderman wasn't distracted, he could properly take in the changes to the red-and-black Merc's apartment. The piles of weapons and food contains had been removed, revealing newish furniture. It actually looked…clean.

Harry reappeared, this time wearing…a Spiderman hoodie. Huh. The hoodie was way too big for the kid, swamping him…but it looked good on the 5 year old. "See?" Harry said and rubbed his cheeks with a yawn, his button nose scrunching up.

Peter smiled. Cute. "So, Harry, what do you like to do for fun?" Harry's eyes lit up and he grabbed Spidey's hand to drag him over to the kitchen table. It was mostly clear, except for a pile of children's books at the end. Harry grabbed one excitedly.

The hero laughed. "You like to read books too!"

Harry nodded. "Wade helps," he said. "He's a good big brother. I'm glad he got me."

"What do you mean, he got you?"

Harry shuffled and looked at his feet as though they're the most interesting things in the world. "I…used to live with my aunt and uncle. They didn't like me very much… But then Wade found me, so everything's okay now!" He gave Spidey and painfully fake smile. "Can you read this to me, please?" he offered the book.

The obvious attempt to change the subject didn't slip past Peter, but he let it go. The book was one he'd read as a child, The Hobbit. "Of course I'll read it to you." Harry exhaled with relief.

The hero and the child settled on the couch, Harry sitting in Peter's lap. Peter rolled up his mask some so he could speak clearly and began to tell the adventure.

When Peter had reached the dwarves' arrival in the Shire, Harry started to yawn. By the time they'd started their journey, Harry was fast asleep, his little hands clutching spandex.

Peter stifled a yawn. He had barely slept at all last night and the couch was surprisingly comfortable… He'd tried to shake himself of his stupor. Deadpool would probably kill him if he fell asleep on the job. But he was so tired… Peter's head dropped to the arm of the couch and he was soon slumbering like the 5 year old.

This was where Deadpool found them several hours later. He crept through the window, half expecting something to be destroyed even if Harry didn't mean to break electronics. But to his and the voice's surprise, he came home to Harry and Spidey cuddling on the sofa.

{Aww…}

"Aww…" Deadpool smiled and pressed a quick kiss to Harry's forehead. After a second's hesitation, he did the same to Spidey.

[Didn't we promise not to be too shippy in this fanfic?]

{It's a stupid promise. Long live Spidypool!}

Deadpool agreed with Yellow. The hero was a gymnast in spandex with an ass you could bounce a quarter off. Who couldn't ship that ass with him? He could write poetry about that ass!

Wade got a spare blanket and draped it over the two. As he was tucking them in, Harry woke up. "Wade…?" he asked sleepily.

"Shh…" Wade whispered and pet Harry's head. "Go back to sleep."

"M'kay…" Harry buried his head back into Spidey's chest. Wade silently took out a camera and snapped a few pictures for the scrapbook.

[We have a scrapbook?]

Deadpool looked at his room and scowled in remembrance of the paper work he had to do. His landlord was on his back to get Harry enrolled in a school. Harry didn't need school! Deadpool could teach him everything he needed, like weapons training, hacking, and chimichanga making. Spidey could probably teach him anything else. But noooooo, keeping him from school was illegal!

[The police would take him away if you didn't and then he'll be alone in the System. Do you want that to happen to him?]

"No!"