There was no way for me to tell how long the silence lasted. I was pretty sure I wasn't technically dead since there was nothing around me except darkness, or maybe I was and all the usual places I'd end up didn't want me back. Which made no sense, Crowley'd would probably love to take another crack at making me his right hand demon. Heaven? Well I doubted they'd ever really get over me denying Michael and humans aren't supposed to go to Purgatory. Maybe this was the Veil and I'd just be stuck here forever. Of all the possible options that one bothered me the least, it'd be peaceful if nothing else.

"Dean..."

I didn't recognize the voice, it was male-ish. "Yeah?"

"Dean..."

"Heard you the first time." I tried to locate the direction it was coming from.

"Not outside, inside."

"What?"

"Oh for fuck's sake. It's me, us, you."

That sounded a lot like me. I felt something furry brush against my legs. "What the?" A whole slew of emotions flooded through me. Oh. "You talk?"

"Took you long enough. I've always talked, you just had no idea how to listen."

A small circle of soft, diffused light appeared to the left of me, there he was, my Warrior Spirit. He looked even better than last time. The grey had faded more, most of his fur was back and his eyes were filled with life. "Glad you're looking better. Guess last night with Coyote helped more than I realized."

One of his ears twisted down, I got the impression that was his version of exasperation. "Yes, it's all about the mating of course. We'll just skip past the existential conversation here, you know, the fact that we're hanging on to life by a thread and on the way to becoming a werewolf."

"You don't have to be...wait, you're me, yeah you do. Never mind. How about I shock both of us and ask the obvious question. What do I need to do here?"

His ear righted itself, he cocked his head to the side and let his tongue hang out. I was laughing at myself, my brain hurt.

"I like this new side of us. I was getting tired of being nearly destroyed repeatedly."

"You and me both, or, whatever."

He sat down and turned his head, when he did a path opened up. There was a massive old growth forest beyond it, it looked like something you only see in movies now. Completely untouched and wild. "What's that?"

"The beginning. What that bitch said, path to our rebirth, but there's someone we have to see before we go back. Feel him calling?"

And then I did, it was subtle but powerful. Then I heard the song, Lakota. "Coyote's friends?"

The wolf looked back at me and nodded. "Yes. Do you trust me?"

"What? That makes no sense, you are me. I'd have to trust you right?"

In a flash he jumped on top of me, knocking me flat on my back, fangs bared as he growled in my face, his claws on my throat. Wait, he'd never had claws like that before, they were the same claws that Mairyn bitch had. Fully retractable cat type claws. "What the fuck?"

"If we walk out of here, leave this spot, this is what the rebirth will bring out. We can control it, I know we can, but are you willing to feel this again. There is no way back from this. We will be one of them. Forever. Decide."

He didn't back off, just stood there and growled.

"The others may not make it back, we may be alone, truly alone. Can we survive that?"

"Can we kill that bitch?"

"Possibly. She is dominant, we may not ever be able to attack her. We had to look away, remember?"

"Don't need to look someone in the eye to kill them."

"It's not that simple. If we are pack, we have to follow orders, protect them."

"Since when do we follow anyone's orders? They don't mean shit to me, why would I protect them? Get off." He put even more weight on me.

"Can you accept this side of us? Not just tolerate it, not push it down, accept it. If you cannot, you will go mad as she said, and we will be lost. I will not let you go unless you can. We must not go mad Dean, we will destroy many if we do, others will be forced to kill us."

"How do you know so much about this?"

"He is telling me, we are connected. He says we have to give in, hunt once, accept the kill. Then we may have a chance."

"Wait hold up. How do I even know you're me? That Mairyn chick got inside Rick's head."

Another voice answered, "You are speaking to your Warrior Spirit, chosen of my daughter. I am Brother Wolf. You are safe here, for the moment. You are connected to her, therefore connected to me. Time runs quickly however. Coyote has already chosen and is here, waiting for you."

For a second there I could barely breathe or think. She'd been turned. What the hell options did I have now? "What the fuck? She agreed to this? Why?"

"To do what must be done."

This felt so wrong, but Coyote had said I'd have to wait to fight back. Fuck. I looked at my wolf. He'd stopped snarling but was far from calm, he was scared. Hell, so was I. "Did you tell her this would happen?"

Silence answered my question, when he spoke again there was deep sorrow in his voice. "I told her if she stayed on this path she would be changed. She made her choice."

Cryptic fucking bastard. My wolf started snarling again, but it wasn't at me, he was aiming it at the opening where the path was. "Let me clarify, did you tell her details?"

A hot wind brushed over us, I guess I'd pissed him off, "Would it have made a difference? She knew it was a possibility, as did you. Do not blame me for your choices. Now you are here. Will you join her or fade?"

"Do you need to ask?" A surge of hate flowed through me, I shoved the wolf and he flew back a foot or two. "That bitch has to go down. What do I need to do?" First things first, kill the monster. Then decide how or if we should live after that.

"Listen to your Spirit, then follow the path." The sense of his presence faded.

"Look at me." I did what he said, our eyes met. His were no longer yellow, they were shifting colors. "Open up to me, let me in."

"How?"

He lifted his right paw, "Take hold of it." This felt like one of those cheesy fantasy movie scenes, where the warrior meets his spirit guide, it seemed totally ridiculous for some reason. "Focus!"

I took his paw in my hand. His eyes shifted to green, just like mine and everything spun. Memories assaulted me, not recent ones, but old ones. All the fights I'd been in as a kid, protecting Sam. Fighting just to fight because I hated my life but knowing that was the wrong reason to fight. The times I'd looked over a monster after I'd killed it and didn't feel a hint of regret, I'd enjoyed it. I held the ultimate power in my hand, I could choose to kill or not and I'd used it to take out something that was killing others. Purgatory, the simple truth of it. No complications. Kill or be killed. The freedom of running through those woods, Benny next to me. I started to deny it, deny all of it.

"Stop! Accept! This is who we are, who Coyote is, who Sam, Oliver, Roy are. Deep down. Predators, all of you. To survive you must accept."

"It's wrong! All of it!"

"Is it? How many lives have we saved?"

He had a point. "True, but to enjoy it, crave it. That's..."

"A part of it. It didn't clue you in when you saw me the first time that you are a predator?"

"I ..."

"You think there is something wrong with you, with us, because you enjoy the hunt. There is not. What we are, it is neutral. Predators are simply part of the natural order of things. There is nothing wrong with you. When given the unfettered choice to hunt, you choose the correct prey. Things that harm others. Others have twisted your nature, made you hate what you are. Accept who you are Dean. You know the guilt was not yours, now look at the rest of it."

The whirlwind of memories stopped all of a sudden. Dad and I were at Bobby's, doing target practice in the back forty. Sam must have been inside somewhere. Dad was drilling me on rapid fire skills. A squirrel scurried in front of me. I trained my gun on it but I couldn't pull the trigger and it ran off.

"What stopped you?" Dad asked, "You had a clean shot."

"It's a squirrel, it's not hurting anything."

Dad gave me one of the few smiles I'd ever seen on his face. "That's the right answer Dean." He lowered his gun and pulled me close to him. We'd never hugged much, just wasn't who we were. "The more ways you learn to kill things, the harder it is to remember why we do what we do. Promise me something."

"Sure Dad."

"You're good son, damn good. You learn fast, you're tough and you're already a better fighter than some full grown men I know. There's nothing wrong with being proud of your skills. Just don't ever let someone else make you use them the wrong way. Hunting is a way of life, others may see it as some sort of thrill seeking thing. It's not. It's who we are, just like lions or wolves. The only time they hurt things they aren't supposed to is when they're forced to by people making it harder for them to live, be themselves. The fact that you can take out a target fifty yards away doesn't mean a damn thing on it's own, all it means is that you've practiced. It's what you're aiming at and why that makes the difference. Understand?"

"Yeah Dad, I do."

"Do you understand?"

"Yeah wolf, I do." And we were no longer separate. I was on all fours, covered in fur and the air around me was filled with smells I'd never noticed before. My paws didn't make a sound as I loped down the path that Brother Wolf had laid out for me. My pack, my family, they needed me and I had a monster to put down. A thrill went through me at the thought of ripping Mairyn's throat out, I let it pass. She'd threatened me, it was natural. If she'd just stayed in Purgatory none of this would have happened. Sure, Cas, Benny and I had showed them a way out, but it was her choice to start shit. Not mine. Her choice to turn me, well that would be the last choice she'd ever make.

"Finally."

"Sorry it took so long."

"I am patient. It's not like I don't know how stubborn we are."

Between one step and the next I felt the wolf settle deep into me. All our protective nature, all our skills, our strengths, they were no longer divided. My vision sharpened, I could hear the smallest sounds and it made perfect sense that I'd be running on four feet instead of two. I picked up the pace, Coyote was waiting. No way I was letting her do this alone. I just hoped that by the time I got there Sam and the rest would be there too.