Charon
We're lying here, warm under the blankets, in an abandoned building. Close to DC; the Pip-Boy should start beeping to load a new map any day now. She says to me that we'll never find him. That he's probably dead. She cries. Tells me she wants to forget it all. That she doesn't know who she is anymore. She wants to be close to someone, anyone. She wants to feel something, anything.
It's little different from any other night.
I wake to her fumbling with my trouser buttons. With one hand, it isn't easy doing and undoing her own, much less mine. For one brief, blissful moment, I think it's Mallie, and my body responds. It's almost like it had all been a dream, and we were lying in the suite the whole time.
But it's not.
I feel more than see the silhouette of her wiry form climb atop me. She leans back, guides me inside of her. I hear her soft moans, so close to sobs that I can't be sure. I caress her back, rest my hands on her hips, gently rock to meet her, and she tightens around me. I close my eyes; imagine she's Mallie – warm, soft, willing. I want her so badly. I want her to come back, to be with her forever.
I could say no. I could push her away. But I don't.
Out of weakness, out of grief, I betray my son.
She cries the morning after, when she realizes what we've done. I don't know how to comfort her. I was never any good at that kind of thing. Confused, vulnerable, I retreat into myself, donning the mask of stone I'd worn so long in the Ninth Circle. We weren't prepared for this. Neither of us expected it, although, being older, I should've. Proximity is a hell of a motivator. Like magnets, bringing naughty bits together.
I never betrayed you, Mallie. I never said her name. She never said mine. It was your name on my lips, the whole time.
I made love to her like she was you. I said your name. She never said a word.
Wendy
He said her name. I don't begrudge him that.
It wasn't like I was thinking of him, either.
It was a shameful, selfish thing I did. I hate the thing inside me that made me do it. Crying doesn't help, but it makes me feel a little better. There's nothing that can fix it now. I've broken my vows to Virgil, and taken advantage of Charon.
But I just wanted a moment to forget myself, to forget…everything.
He allowed me to take it, and for that, I'm grateful.