A/N: Woo…I feel like this wasn't worth the wait. Sorry.

Trigger Warning: Suicide attempt and DISCUSSION OF DEATH—be careful; I know how sensitive the fandom is after 5x03.

Where am I? This is my first thought when I awake, before I even open my eyes. When I do, it's way too bright and I immediately shut them again. It's a hospital, I realize with a groan.

After a moment everything comes back to me and I wonder who found me. More importantly, who'd want to save me? No one likes me, not really. I open my eyes again, turning my head to see Burt sitting next to me. I feel humiliated.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, voice cracking.

The man looks at me in surprise. "You're awake," he states, looking relieved.

"Why?" I can't help but ask.

Burt looks me straight in the eye. "You're worth it. You deserve to be alive, kid. I was so angry when I heard what you did, but I never wished this on you."

I shake my head. "I can't live without him," I let out.

Burt looks at me in concern. "Son. That's not healthy, to depend on a relationship for happiness. I really hope you know that."

I shake my head, saying nothing. He doesn't understand. After a moment I have to ask: "Who found me?"

Burt answers, "Sam did. Then he called me?"

Sam? That's the last person I expected. I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. "Why—?"

He cuts me off. "Do you remember posting a video?"

"Oh."

The man nods. "Do you want to talk to him?"

I nod, just a little.

Burt gets up and walks out of the room. A few seconds later Sam comes rushing in.

I don't know what I was expecting, but a shout of "You idiot!" was not it.

"Sam, what—?"

The blond cuts me off. "Do you know how scared I was? I thought you were gonna die!"

"That was kind of the plan," I bite back bitterly.

Sam seems to calm down a little, sitting next to me. "Well I'm glad it didn't work. I almost lost my best friend, you jerk."

I feel something break inside me. "I'm sorry." I didn't think I meant that much to anyone.

He shakes his head. "Don't apologize. Just work on getting better."

"Okay." I don't have the heart to protest.

We sit in silence for a few minutes before Sam breaks it. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I ponder this longer than you'd think someone would. Do I want to talk about it?

"Yeah," I say quietly.

Sam asks me, "Okay…why did you do it?"

"I…" I pause, trying to put it into words. "I just…couldn't take it anymore. I felt so…alone, you know? I didn't think anyone would care. And after what I did to Kurt—"

My friend shakes his head. "No, man. Blaine, even after cheating, do you honestly believe Kurt would want you dead?"

"I…" No. Kurt's too kind of a person.

"And do you think Rachel, Santana, Quinn, would be better off dead?" Sam continues.

I shake my head immediately. "Of course not."

He looks at me. "All of them cheated, some more than once."

"It's different, Sam!" I reply angrily. He just doesn't get it.

"No, it's really not," he says sadly.

I shake my head. "It is!"

"How is it different, Blaine?!"

"It…it just is!" I'm not sure when the yelling started, when only a minute ago we were calm.

Sam shakes his head. "It's not. You're worth just as much as them."

I close my eyes against tears. How does he always know what to say?

Burt walks into the room. "Okay, I heard yelling. I think that's enough excitement for today."

Sam goes quiet then, looking at the ground. "When do I get to leave?" I ask quietly.

"Later today. The hospital called your parents; I'm sorry, I don't think they're coming," Burt tells me, looking upset.

I'm already shaking my head. "No, I get it. They're always busy." Even as I say it, I wish they'd come to support me just this once. "I didn't expect them to come," I point out.

Sam gives me a dark look. "Not funny."

I don't say anything.

It's awkward silence for the next few minutes until Sam blurts out, "I called Kurt."

"What?" Burt and I say at the same time.

Sam looks sheepishly at the two of us. "I just…He didn't actually pick up, but I left him a message saying—"

"What?!" I ask again. He said this in a message?

"Dude, let me finish!" Sam says, annoyed. "I sent him a message saying it was really important and he needs to call me back ASAP.

"It's not that important," I protest.

"Dude," Sam says sternly. "We all know you want your best friend here." After a pause, he adds, "Besides me of course," grinning and obviously trying to lighten the mood.

I snort and shake my head at him. "Dork."

"Hey, there you are! Got a laugh out of you."

"Shush," I snap halfheartedly.

Sam smirks. "Nope."

Burt just shakes his head. "You know, that was pretty dorky, kid."

This time I can't hold back a chuckle.

Hours later, I finally get sent out with Burt, Sam, and a list of recommended therapists that I don't particularly want to see. Finn, Tina, Marley, and Jake visited earlier. It felt kind of nice…until I realized they didn't just care—they pity me. Then I just wanted them out. I didn't need to deal with that.

When we get to the Hudson-Hummel house ("Aren't you taking me to my house?" "Are you kidding? We're not leaving you there alone!") I thank Burt before going up to Kurt's old room by force of habit.

I sink face-down on the bed they never moved. A knock already sounds at the door. "Uh, dude?"

Sighing, I look up at him. "Yes, Finn?"

"Sorry about earlier. And don't fall asleep yet; it's time for dinner." He shifts on his feet awkwardly as he looks at me.

I just want to sleep. I don't care if it's only 4:00. I just mumble, "Okay."

I trudge down the steps and Carole wraps me up in a hug. "Hi, Carole," I say quietly.

"Hey, sweetie. I made spaghetti. Hope you don't mind."

I nod, suddenly feeling awkward as pull out of her arms. "Sounds fine. Thanks." We step into the kitchen where Burt, Sam, and Finn are already sitting. I sink down next to Burt while Carole dishes out the pasta. "Thank you," I say again, quietly.

"You're welcome." Carole sits on the other side of me and we all start to eat.

The table is silent the entire time until I finish and immediately bolt upstairs.

I take the blanket and wrap it around me, covering my ears as I hear the voices across the hall.

" … do we do? … helpless … Kurt almost here?"

Kurt…I nearly forgot about Sam's confession at the hospital. I don't want him to see me like this. He'll be disgusted; he'll wonder what he ever saw in me. He'll wish I succeeded.

They should've just let me die.