"How about you back up a bit?" Oliver said. "You said once we learn control we'll be fine but that the wolf is not the monster. Those two statements are contradictory. If we can't control it, then what?"

That was a pretty good catch. Course I'd already gotten the answer but I wanted to see if Fenris would fess up to the truth or not. He hesitated.

"You will explain, in detail, Fenris." Coyote ordered. Her tone got my attention, along with everyone else's. It held a power that I was used to hearing from Cas, not her. She was standing, a breeze stirring her hair and the air started feeling heavy. "I am not without power in this place, nor am I alone. Wouldn't you be as vulnerable to us as Mairyn is, since we share your "gift" now."

Not sure that was the best plan, Fenris started growling. "You threaten me? Stand down."

She flinched, every muscle in her face tightened as she started chanting. Sweat started beading on her forehead and her breaths came faster but she didn't sit. "No..." she whispered. I was so damn proud of her right then.

Fenris stopped growling, his huge ass head tilted to the left and for a second there he looked completely harmless. "Impressive. That won't be so easy for you back in the physical realm. I didn't take that into account. Be warned, if Mairyn senses any of that strength within you she will order her pack to attack you. I respect strength, so I shall answer you truthfully. If you do not learn to accept the wolf, it will destroy you Oliver. Not because it is a monster but because it is the epitome of a wild animal, if it is caged for too long it will destroy that which restrains it."

"What is this first hunt business?" I asked. "My inner self mentioned it."

Fenris directed his gaze back at me and Coyote slumped over. I took two steps to the left and braced her. "You all right?"

She nodded but didn't speak. Hopefully that whole thing didn't make it harder for her to get back.

"The change is painful," Fenris explained, "There was no way around that. The pain brings out the wolf. The first change is the worst. The quickest way to start the process of melding man and wolf is to immediately hunt, sate the hunger that arises because of the change. If you resist it, it will fester, like an infected wound. It will fight against the confines you place upon it."

"What if she has us hunt people?" Sam pointed out, "Then what?"

Fenris actually dropped his gaze at that point. "Then it is up to you. I can only keep Mairyn's bond with you at bay for two sunsets. If you haven't destroyed her by then, you will be hers." He looked at Coyote with some pretty serious admiration, "Or at least most of you will be. Perhaps you can protect them from her will. It is hard to say."

Sam frowned, "Any chance we'll be coherent enough to just take her out when we wake back up?"

Fenris shrugged, "Perhaps. But her whole pack will be with her and you have not moved as wolves or pack before. There will be a lot to adapt to as the change takes place."

"How many does she have and do you have any idea how the hell she got out of Purgatory?" I figured he might know.

"When I killed her, she had fifteen. I have no idea of how many she has now. The only reason I know she is out is because Great Coyote told me after Coyote spoke with her in a dream. I know what you know as far as that is concerned. I am sorry I do not know more."

I took a look at everyone. Sam, well looked like he always looks when we're up shit creek again with no good choices. Tough as nails, calm as could be and willing to do what it takes. Coyote was pretty much in the same place. Oliver had gone from default intimidation to thoughtful and Roy, well, he was trying. Of the five of us he was the one with the least experience to draw on for dealing with fucked up choices. "All right, thanks. Can we have a few minutes to talk?"

Not that I didn't trust him but, if nothing else, Roy was going to need some serious forewarning on how bad this could get. Fenris saying shit would hurt was one thing but I wanted him to hear it from Sam and I and I wanted to do whatever I could to get him to focus on making it through.

Fenris nodded, "Of course, time is running short however."

"Always is," I said.

Fenris ambled about thirty or forty feet away. He'd still hear everything of course, but it was the semblance of space that we needed. I caught Sam's eye and shifted my gaze to Roy, Sam nodded and moved a bit closer to Roy.

"Okay guys, where's everyone at on this?" I asked. "Either way it's going to suck. Hopefully we can figure something out when we get back to the other side to solve the whole werewolf thing."

"He said there was no cure." Roy said.

"Yeah, well that's what they said about being a demon, being cursed with the Mark of Cain or being dead." I pointed out. "Just because no one's found a way, doesn't mean there isn't one. That's the Winchester brothers motto."

"We can't let Mairyn live," Coyote straight up stated. "She will tear right though hunters. They have no way to deal with her or her pack."

Oliver's eyes moved to look at Fenris, "And we're trusting him why? How do we know this isn't just some drug induced trip or fuck up end of life thing?"

"For starters, historically that's never happened to Dean or I." Sam answered, "Shit like this is usually real, believe it or not. We tend to look at most things told to us by supernatural entities, no matter how insane it sounds, as at least fifty percent truth. Very rarely have they outright lied to us. Leaving out information is more their style, which is why I'm glad Coyote could push him. I get the feeling that he's on the level. He hasn't really threatened us or blustered like the ones that are hiding things tend to do. It couldn't have been easy for him to pull five spirits here, where ever here is. Usually when we're mostly dead we end up in more traditional places, so I'm willing to go with this being "real." What this really comes down to is are you guys willing to go through with it? Things like this, you have to have something that you can hold onto to keep yourself focused and fighting. Fenris was right about Dean and I never having to resurrect ourselves. Cas or Crowley usually did that for us, and the repercussions of that was hard enough to deal with. We're going in to this as blind as you all are. All we can tell you is that it will suck, it will forever change how you look at things and will scar you in some way or other. The choice is up to you."

"Won't be the first time I've pulled myself back from being mostly dead," Oliver said as he locked eyes with Sam then I. "I'm in."

He sounded more confident then he felt, couldn't really blame him though. I looked at Roy. His eyes went down the row as he looked at Sam, me, Coyote then turned his head to look at Oliver. "I, I guess so. It's better than staying here or being dead anyway."

That wasn't going to work. "Not good enough Roy. Do you want to live? Do you want to see Thea again, even if you're a werewolf and screwed up? Are you willing to deal with the shit that comes after? Because if you make it back, wake up and make it through the fight you won't be you anymore. Does living mean enough to you to go through all that, because, in the end, that's what it comes down to. Sam and I have had to make this choice so many fucking times. Yeah, we fought for each other, we fought to kill bad shit, but in the end, we fought to live and fix whatever came down the road at us afterwards." I stepped closer and leaned forward, "So, do you want to live?"

As I had talked, more and more of the fear left his eyes as he subconsciously squared his shoulders and stood up a bit taller. Slowly that confidence I had gotten used to seeing in his face seeped back in around the edges. He was dealing with it, dealing with the absolute insanity of our situation, pushing past it. Part of me was proud of him, the other part of me wanted him to just take the easy way out. I had no idea if we could fix the werewolf thing and was pulling my own confident act out of my ass. He didn't know that and I sure as hell wasn't going to leave him behind, even if I felt bad as hell for dragging him into this.

"Yes Dean, I do. Coyote's right, we can't let her live. She's a mon..." That stopped him.

"Remember Rick," Sam said, "He's technically a monster too but he's been fighting the good fight."

Roy barely nodded but he didn't let the fear take back over.

"All right then." I took a step back from Roy, "Fenris? We're good." I had a really unnerving thought, "Is she going to just straight up kill us of all five of us wake back up? I mean both you and her make it sound like the odds are pretty much against us."

Fenris walked back towards us with a wolfy grin on his face, "With confidence like yours Dean I think the odds have shifted." The grin faded, "She may, but if all of you make it she will have her hands filled with five newly born wolves that are hungry. Who knows? Maybe your distaste for her will make your first hunt be the hunt that sends her back."

Yeah, that wasn't really how I wanted to go into this, but he had a point. "Well, Sam's all about being efficient these days." Sam didn't even bother glaring at that one, he just ignored me.

"I will send you to the edge," Fenris continued, "I can hasten your journey. Once you get to the barrier, you must force your way through it. You will be on separate paths, I will do what I can to aid you but I cannot guarantee how successful that will be. When you arrive on the other side, you will change immediately. Let it happen. You will feel a connection to me, to each other and in part to her and her pack. The sooner you can sort through those the better because you will need to use me to block her hold over you. Are you ready?"

"Ready as we'll ever be." I answered for everyone.

"All right then. I will be with you." He closed his eyes and bowed his head. Everyone and everything disappeared, I was standing in a desolate, barren landscape that reminded me of the aftermath of a volcano. Black rock, no plants and no life. In front of me was a wall of ever shifting colors, it would have been beautiful if the air wasn't filled with screams and howls that sounded a lot like vengeful spirits as they disintegrate into flames when we'd burn their bones. I took a look around, hoping to see someone, anyone. There wasn't even a fly, "Oh yeah, this was so not a good idea." I said to no one in particular as I reached my hand towards the veil. "Well, here goes nothing."