Wendy

When we find the Satcom array, we're greeted by four Brotherhood soldiers in full power armor. "We didn't expect to see you guys all the way out here." Charon stands an arms-length behind me, deferentially. He's been very quiet lately, and I can feel the anger radiating off of him in waves. It's a tightly controlled rage, but just beneath the surface. It scares me a little, even though I know that he can't hurt me, even if he wanted to.

"We weren't far, ma'am – Scribe Rothchild radioed, requested that we meet you, or at least keep an eye out for you. We'll help you any way we can," He replied, voice tinny through the speaker of his helmet.

"You haven't been waiting here for very long, have you?"

"Oh no, we diverted from our patrol, got here just yesterday."

"Did she tell you anything about what we were looking for?" I ask. I don't have any hope that he knows where the bunker – Raven Rock – is, but he may be able to point us in the right direction.

"All we know is that she came from the north, north-west. At least that's what I was told by Rothchild. She's the foremost expert on the Lyon's Pride – she's even named after Sarah Lyons. If she doesn't know where Raven Rock is, then no one in the Brotherhood does."

"Fuck." I curse Mal and her self-absorption for the thousandth time. I turn. "Any ideas, Charon?" I ask. I'm answered with a grunt and a shrug, par for the course for him for the past few days. I suppose we could stay the night, talk about it, toss around our options. "We're sleeping here tonight," I say, and he nods. "Stay out here and have a smoke or something. I'm tired of you always being up my ass."

Charon

When she slips inside, I holster my shotgun, light a cigarette, then engage the Brotherhood guys in conversation. "So – I haven't seen a lot of Enclave out here. They used to be everywhere."

"How long has it been since you been out here?" he asks.

"'bout…forty-five years."

"Heh. That's a Hell of a long time." He stares off into the distance – or at least, I think he does. It takes an act of God for them to take off those fucking helmets. "The power dynamic's long changed out here. When we got the Purifier back, it crippled them. I wouldn't say they had no fight left, but they took off damn quick. Or at least, that's what I was told."

Interesting. Maybe I can pump some information out of him. "I'm sure they have informants running around."

"Undoubtedly."

"Do you know if there's an outpost out here anywhere – a place they monitor regularly?" I have an idea, but it won't be pleasant. Strictly a last resort.

His head turns towards me. "May I ask why?"

"I need to know where it is if I'm gonna avoid it. I'm a bodyguard," I jerk my head towards the large dish. "I gotta know this shit if I'm gonna keep her safe." I inhale deeply, drawing the sweet nicotine-laced goodness deep into my lungs.

He shifts nervously, apparently deciding whether or not to tell me. "There's one directly west of here. Be careful." He looks at the rest of his team. "I suppose we should get back to our patrol."

"Take care."

He waves as they head northeast.

When I enter, she's already digging food out of her pack. "Were you able to get anything out of them?" she asks.

"Some vague info about the area. Nothing significant." I shrug.

"So – where do we go from here? We can't just wander around, hoping to stumble on it."

I shake my head. "No, we'd never find it. The door is likely hidden – we could probably come within feet of it and never know."

"Maybe we can capture an Enclave soldier. Get it out of him." she suggests.

"And just how are we gonna do that? They'd rather die than be captured. Even if we did get one, what're ya gonna do? Torture it out of him?"

She blanches. "No, I guess not." She looks up at me. "But you could."

I close my eyes, clench my teeth, and look away from her. I think about the Enclave officer that Mallie'd cut to ribbons to feed the Darkness inside of her. I could do it – but I didn't want to. Of course, if she ordered me to do it, I wouldn't have any other choice. I take a deep breath. "I'd rather not."

She tosses me a piece of mole rat jerky, something she traded for in one of the settlements we'd passed. It surprised me the first time I ate it. Even though mole rat is pretty gross on a good day, this stuff is not only edible, but mighty tasty.

"You're angry." She says.

I stop chewing. "Yes."

"At me?"

"At everything." Trust me – I'd do anything to not feel. Turn my heart to stone. Forget it all. I find myself wondering if love was even worth the pain. I want to hurt something. Make something feel on the outside like I feel on the inside. I breathe deeply for a while, until the rage subsides. "Is it worth it?" I mumble to myself.

"Is what worth it?" Wendy asks.

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking." I turn away from her.

"No, seriously. Is what worth it?"

"Love," I mumble.

"It's always worth it." I glance over at her, and she's looking at me with a faint smile, compassion in her eyes. "Always." She reaches over to me and takes my hand. She squeezes it tightly. "She'll always be with you."

Life is so much easier when you're alone. It's so much easier when you care about no one – just the contract. I start to rue the day that I admitted to myself that I loved her. That morning on the balcony, sun rising, warming her soft, alabaster skin. She was so beautiful, so hard. So strong and fragile at the same time. She needed me, and I needed her.

Wendy is right.

What did I tell Mallie? That even if I have nothing left, I still have my memories of her. No one can take them away from me. Those memories are the ones that keep me sane. They are the most precious things I have.

They are the only things I truly own.