CHAPTER FIVE

"Hey." I was about to take a seat on the stool next to Paul as the bartender placed two more beers on the bar in front of him, but he got to his feet, picking up both drinks.

"Let's go over there." He glanced at a small table in the corner of the room, away from the elderly couple and the windows and I took the seat with its back to the wall. "I wasn't sure you'd come," Paul said.

"I wasn't sure I would either," I admitted and gulped some of my beer. My heart was still racing and I kept telling myself that I shouldn't be doing this, even while I watched his throat move as he took a mouthful of beer, followed the caramel coloured 'V' shape of flesh in the neck of his shirt, which was now open a little further, almost to the middle of his chest. My fingers itched to slip inside it and touch his warm flesh, tug on the nipple ring and make him growl.

"At least wait until we get in my room," he said in a low voice.

"What?"

"You're undressing me with your eyes."

I snorted and felt my face heat up, dropping my eyes to the table as I took another gulp from my bottle and tried to think of something to say to him. What did they say about getting a conversation going? Ask a question.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what do you want to know?"

"I don't really know anything about you..."

"What do you want? My bio?" he teased and I shrugged.

"I'm twenty-nine, I grew up on a Reservation in Washington State, went to college in Seattle and moved to Boston to take my first job working for a company pretty similar to FitWorx. They went out of business last year, so I called around to find out what else was available. Turned out Andrew was thinking about taking on a new guy and he invited me over to talk about it."

"You grew up in Washington?" I queried.

"Yeah."

"Didn't you ever go back?"

"There was nothing there for me. Glad to leave really, it rains all the time." He grinned and took another long drink.

"No family?"

"None that I care to keep in touch with. My mother died when I was born and my father kicked me out when I was sixteen. I lived with friends until I graduated highschool."

"Shit, that's rough," I muttered. "Why would he do that?"

"Because I'm gay and I didn't see why I should hide it. He wasn't very accepting, but it's who I am so...you know, if people don't like it, that's their problem. Sounds like your Dad, huh?"

I had told him about Dad finding my magazines, how he reacted and I was surprised he'd remembered.

"Yeah, it does," I said. "Didn't you ever like girls?"

"No, never. When I hit puberty, all I thought about was cock," he smirked. "Getting changed in the locker rooms at school was a nightmare, let me tell you. All those naked butts and dicks around me...fuck!"

I spluttered beer and grabbed a napkin to wipe the table. "Yeah, sometimes I had that problem too."

"But you chose to be with a girl? Would you still be with her if she hadn't gotten pregnant in school?"

"Uh..." I frowned at the table. "I don't know. I loved her...love her; we were gonna go to college together, but we wouldn't have been married. I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't been under my Dad's influence; if I hadn't had it drummed into me that my feelings were unnatural."

"I guess we're pretty similar in some ways," Paul said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, except you don't do relationships. Why is that?"

"You don't want to hear all my shit." He drained his beer and put the bottle aside.

"I do, if you want to tell me."

He studied me silently for a moment and then lowered his eyes to the table. "Ok, well...I met this guy in college...Riley. He was a white boy, bit of a bookworm, not my type at all, but I don't know...somehow we clicked. He was in some of my classes and we studied together. We were together right through college up until Spring Break in the final year; shared an apartment after we got out of dorms."

"What happened at Spring Break?"

"He left..."

"Left you?" I prompted when he stopped.

"No, he left Seattle to visit his parents in Tacoma. His car was taken out by a drunk driver; he died before the paramedics could get to him. I heard about it...saw it on the news; his car was unrecognisable."

"Fuck!" I hissed. "I'm so sorry. Didn't anybody call you?"

"No, his parents didn't approve, same as ours; didn't even know about me, so I couldn't talk to them and I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to him. I went to see his grave about a week after the funeral." He shrugged. "It was a long time ago. Now you know why I do the same thing you do - fuck and run."

"God, Paul..." I reached across the table and grasped his hand in mine. "I'm so sorry," I said again.

"I can't really believe I told you all that. I don't talk about it to anybody."

"It's alright."

We sat there in silence for a long moment and then Paul almost seemed to shake himself, pulling his hand free of mine and shoving his chair backwards. "You want another beer?"

"No, I'm good." I indicated the still half full bottle and he went to the bar to get one for himself. I thought back over what he had said while I waited; he was different from what I'd expected, but I had to wonder why he wanted more with me when he obviously made efforts not to get attached to anybody after Riley. Maybe because I wasn't free so he knew it wasn't going to come to anything.

"Your turn," he said as he returned to the table, his smile back in place.

"What?"

"Your turn to tell me something. Anything. What interests you?"

"Um...baseball. I catch as many home games as I can with my friend, Embry."

"Who do you support? Yankees?"

"Yeah, but he follows the Mets," I grinned. Embry and I had endless squabbles about which team and which player was the best although we went along to each other's games.

"I go to a few games too," Paul said.

"Red Sox?"

"No, the Mariners. I got into it when I was in college and stuck with the team after I left." He took a few more gulps of his beer and I began to relax as we continued to chat about the current baseball season. I was enjoying myself, I realised. I liked him and if things had been different...maybe I could have imagined us together, seeing each other rather than just fucking and running. It was another thirty minutes before we left the bar, both of us rising from the table and heading into the lobby to the elevators by silent mutual agreement.

We didn't speak on the short ride up to Paul's floor, but his eyes burned into me from the other side of the car and my pulse sped up again, my heart beginning to pound as I stared back at him. The door slid open and I followed him down a long corridor, waited for him to open the door and lead me into the room. A quick glance showed me it was a large room with a king bed, a couple of sofas and a wall-mounted TV, a large minibar in one corner and an open door revealing a luxury bathroom complete with tub. I switched my attention back to Paul as he shrugged off his suit jacket and tossed it onto one of the sofas.

"Do you want something from the bar or...?" he asked.

"No." I licked my dry lips. My whole mouth was dry and my heart was rapidly pumping my blood towards my groin, which I knew the gym shorts and sweats wouldn't do much to hide. My eyes slid from his face to his chest, his piercing just visible through the white shirt and suddenly I couldn't wait to touch him; to feel his hands on me. I covered the space between us in two strides and grasped a handful of his shirt, sliding my other hand to the back of his neck as I leaned in and brought out mouths together. I heard his sharp intake of breath and then he was clutching at me, his tongue sliding against mine, lips crushing mine against my teeth. A hand on the small of my back pulled me tighter against him and my erection grew rapidly, pushing against his as it hardened in the smart suit pants and strained to get free.

I let out a helpless moan, breathing hard through my nose as the kiss continued almost desperately, bruising lips and drawing more groans and whimpers from both of us. I released the crushed fabric of Paul's shirt from my hand and felt for the buttons instead, fumbling them undone and yanking the bottom of the garment out of his pants. He grasped the hem of my t-shirt and stepped back for a second, dragging it up until I took my hands off of him and raised my arms. Then my shirt and his were on the floor and I was tugging at his belt buckle with one hand, running the other over his chest, hooking my pinky through the nipple ring and tugging on it. He cursed under his breath and shoved both the sweats and shorts down my thighs, then wrapped a hand around my cock, stroking it firmly, rubbing his thumb over the head and spreading pre-cum down the shaft.

"Fuck..." I muttered, trying to ignore my own desperation while I pulled his belt free and tugged the zipper down, discovering black jersey shorts barely restraining his erection, the fabric clinging damply to him. I released the nipple ring reluctantly and pushed both garments down and he toed off his shoes, awkwardly stepping out of his pants and kicking them aside. His cock pushed eagerly against mine and he grasped both together, rubbing them against each other, panting and groaning into my ear. We shuffled sideways towards the bed, our lips connecting again in another breathless kiss, Paul still stroking both of our cocks and me dragging my feet free of my sneakers, struggling out of the pants and shorts that still pinned my knees together. Paul let go of me briefly and removed his socks and then we were both naked, tumbling onto the bed and pressing together, legs entwined, thrusting against each other in an effort to gain friction, aching to come.

"God, Jacob..." Paul groaned, his fingers grazing my hole as he squeezed my butt, grinding himself harder against me. His cock was leaking onto my belly and he was clearly getting as close as I was.

"Fuck me," I panted. "Please..."

"I won't last long."

"Don't care...I want you..."

He pulled away from me suddenly and sat up, breathing deeply, trying to control himself as he leaned over the side of the bed and grabbed lube and a condom from his bag. I watched through half-closed eyes as he coated his fingers in the slick fluid and moved his hand between my spread legs, circling my hole with the tip of one finger and then pushing it against me. I breathed out and the digit slid in easily, pumping and twisting for a minute before he added a second. I welcomed the slight burn as he stretched me, bucking against his hand and stroking myself slowly, needing the touch but not wanting to finish until he was inside of me. I looked at his cock, the head purple and swollen, twitching and leaking as he continued preparing me.

"I'm ready," I gasped.

He withdrew his fingers quickly with an obscene wet sound and ripped open the condom packet quickly, his hands shaking as he fumbled it onto the head of his cock and rolled it down his length. I pumped myself impatiently as he coated himself in lube and then he was kneeling between my thighs, pulling my legs up and resting them on his shoulders before guiding himself into me. He pushed past my ring of muscle and I hissed through my teeth, forcing myself to stay relaxed as he held still for a moment, then began to slide slowly deeper.

"Oh, fuck..." I moaned. I looked down at myself, my erection quivering and dripping onto my belly, Paul's thick cock half buried inside of me, his teeth clenched in concentration as he struggled not to give in and ram himself into me. Slowly he pushed in further, grazing my prostate and making me buck and thrust against him, effectively impaling myself onto his full length.

"Christ...so tight..." Paul panted. "I warned you this would be quick."

"Just fuck me," I whimpered, jerking myself off more firmly as he began to thrust into me, bracing his hands on the head of the bed behind me and bending me almost double as he gradually picked up speed, snapping his hips forward, balls bumping me, thighs slapping against mine.

He was right about it being quick; with my legs practically over my head his shaft dragged over my prostate with every thrust and I drove myself over the edge with the tight grip of my hand, shooting my load onto my chest and neck and clenching around Paul. He shuddered and bucked erratically against me, cursing and groaning as he emptied himself into the condom. He lowered my legs slowly either side of him and sat back on his heels, slipping out of me and removing the rubber.

"Holy shit," he gasped, half-laughing. "That was too good."

"How can it be too good?" I smirked.

"Because I can't fucking last five minutes." He grabbed a handful of tissues from the box beside the bed to wipe himself and then collapsed onto his back next to me, still panting loudly. I cleaned myself up with more tissues and tossed them aside, then simply lay there beside him, catching my breath, watching him sideways through my lowered lashes as his chest rose and fell, his skin glistening, one hand resting lightly on his belly.

"Not gonna run yet?" he asked suddenly.

"Not yet. I thought you might want to make up for only lasting five fucking minutes," I teased. "Although it was more like three...or two..."

"Fucking cheeky...!" A fist landed on my stomach, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to wind me a little. I played up to it, pulling my knees up, clutching my belly, groaning and panting, rolling onto my side facing away from him.

"Jake? Hey..! Shit, I didn't hit you that hard..." His hand touched my shoulder and his face appeared in my peripheral vision as he leaned over me. I dissolved into breathless laughter.

"I'm just fooling around," I chuckled.

"Fucker." His teeth nipped my ear lobe and then he released it quickly, warm air blowing into my ear as he laughed softly. "You are so going to get it in a minute."

He stretched out behind me, his body molded to mine and one arm resting heavily around my middle. I immediately felt that he was still half hard again and it wasn't long before my cock started to respond, beginning to thicken and rise until it bumped Paul's wrist. He moved his hand slightly and captured it, stroking slowly while his lips and teeth teased my neck just below my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

I had almost forgotten who I was at that moment; it was just me and him and it felt so good - talking, fooling around, fucking. Right then I wanted him so badly and I could almost imagine us in another place; another time where I was free to be with him. I twisted my head around and he stopped teasing my neck and covered my mouth with his instead, kissing me deeply, but without the urgency of when we first arrived in the room. It was just as heated, but in a different way and I melted into it, moaning into his mouth as his hand tightened around my cock, tugging on it more firmly. He broke the kiss and I looked up at him, deep brown eyes staring down into mine.

"Ready for round two?"

"Are you kidding?"

"Don't move." He pulled away from me and sat up and I watched over my shoulder as he grabbed the lube and another condom. I still felt wet from the previous application of lube, but he added more, pressing two slick fingers into me, the sudden intrusion making me flinch and realise that the hastily prepared first time had left me a little sore. "Shall I stop?"

"No...I want you," I said at once. "I'll be fine."

He withdrew his fingers and I turned my head to face away from him, listening to the condom packet tear, the sound of it being rolled onto his cock and coated in more lube. Then he was manoeuvring me, lifting my leg up and moving in behind me, guiding himself into me again. I dropped my head back against his shoulder, relaxing as much as I could as he pushed in, filling and stretching me. His arm rested around me again, his hand stroking my erection in time with his thrusts into me. This time the pace was almost leisurely, our bodies moving against each other with each push and pull making Paul's cock slide in and out only an inch or two at a time. The heat between us built slowly, my orgasm tantalisingly out of reach, the slight discomfort forgotten.

"God, that feels so good," I moaned, arching my back and clenching around him. He growled in my ear and his teeth grazed my neck again, then sank into my shoulder. His hand left my cock and slid up my body to my neck, circling my throat and forcing my head back further.

"Touch yourself," he murmured and then he was kissing me again, warm, wet, lazy plunges of his tongue into my mouth, as his cock continued to move within me. I cupped myself, palming my length and grinding it against my belly, repeatedly letting out small groans and whimpers, my chest tight and lungs straining as my heart raced and I struggled to suck in air through my nose. Eventually he tore his mouth from mine and his hand reached down to grip my leg instead, holding it firmly in its raised position and increasing the speed of his thrusts into me.

"Gonna come," he panted. "So close...fuck..."

I pumped myself faster, rocking back against him, my balls tightening and the base of my cock swelling in my hand as I drew close to the finish. He came a little before me, pulsing repeatedly inside me and then continuing to move, his mouth against my ear.

"Come for me."

I tightened around his softening cock and spilled into my hand, unsurprised by the small quantity of fluid and wishing I hadn't wasted some of it in the shower at work. I released myself and lay panting, exhausted as Paul disposed of the condom and then lay back down, still close enough to touch. I rolled over slowly and rested against him, brushing my lips against his throat and tasting salt. I let myself drift, knowing I shouldn't and that I was in danger of falling asleep, but wanting the moment to last.

"Hey..." Paul's warm breath fanned my cheek and his hand shook my shoulder. "Don't fall asleep."

"I'm not."

"You are. Get up, or you'll be in the doghouse when you get home." He pushed me again and sat up. "You better take a shower."

"Kicking me out?" I murmured.

"No, I just don't want you to be in the shit with your wife. I'm not a homewrecker, contrary to popular belief."

I opened my eyes and sat up. "I seem to remember you calling me to tell me when the rowers would be delivered and asking for round two."

"Yeah, well I guess I couldn't help myself. I'd been sat in my office half the day with a boner." He smirked suddenly. "What time do you have to be back?"

"About ten. The gym closes at nine and I usually give Edward the evening off so he can go out."

"Edward?"

"My manager."

"So what's different tonight? You made him cancel his evening so you could have me?"

"No," I laughed. "Someone let him down." I glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed it was still only six-fifteen.

"Are you hungry?" Paul asked. "I can order room service if you want."

"Only if you're having something."

"I'm always hungry," he grinned. "Besides, that Thai shit was all soup and noodles and little things in batter than burn your mouth to hell. Didn't eat much."

I snorted and got to my feet slowly, my legs somewhat wobbly as I followed him into the bathroom. "So what do you like eating?"

"Anything normal. Steak, chicken, pizza..."

"Pizza? How the hell do you stay looking like that eating pizza?" I teased.

"I have it once every couple of weeks, Jake, not every day." Grinning, he reached into the shower stall to turn the water on and ushered me in first.

"Fuck!" I yelped. The water was freezing and effectively drove away the lingering feeling of sleepiness. I fumbled with the controls, shivering until the water ran warm and then Paul joined me, grabbing the shower gel and squeezing some out before passing the bottle to me. We washed ourselves in silence, dried off quickly and returned to the room.

Paul called room service and ordered two steaks and I put my shorts on and sat on the sofa, suddenly beginning to feel strangely awkward. The afternoon had been amazing, but I began to realise that somehow it had become more than just a fuck, especially the second time. It had been intimate, gentle and we had continually kissed each other. I wanted to kiss him now, as he sat on the other end of the sofa wearing only a fresh pair of underwear, one foot tucked under him and his face betraying the exact same feelings I was having - uncertainty and longing. I couldn't think of anything to say and after a few minutes Paul asked if I wanted to watch the TV and switched it on quickly when I nodded.

The food arrived - two huge plates of steak, fries and salad - and Paul took some beers from the minibar and opened them. We ate slowly, half watching the news and half watching each other with brief sideways glances that only made me more uncomfortable. It almost made me want to leave, but at the same time I wanted to stay until the last possible minute.

"How long are you in New York?" I asked eventually.

"Until Monday. I have to see the other client in the morning and my flight's at two."

I want to do this again!

I shoved another bite of steak into my mouth and chewed slowly, wondering how wise that was. I had already gone way past a simple fuck and I was going to suffer for it when I got home. I doubted I would sleep well and I was going to hate myself every time I looked at Leah and Sarah. I had planned to spend some time with them tomorrow, take them to Central Park and play ball games with Sarah. Sunday I was working, but maybe...

I glanced at him again. I was getting too close. I'd had one night with him and then today, but I felt as if the whole thing was getting out of control. If he asked me to see him over the weekend, I knew I would say yes without hesitation and the hell with the consequences and that thought scared me. Two brief days with him and I was considering being with him more important than being with my family? I choked down the mouthful of steak and picked up my beer, draining half of it quickly. I needed to get out of there and busy myself with my girls for the next two days until he went back to Boston.

"We shouldn't do this again," he said suddenly.

"What? Why?" I blurted, my eyes flying to his face and my heart sinking despite what I'd been thinking.

"You know why. It's too much. Fuck and run, remember?"

"Yeah, I'm not gonna have any time over the weekend anyway," I said, hoping I sounded more casual than I felt. "Plans tomorrow and I'm working Sunday."

"Ok."

"In fact, I should probably get home soon," I added, putting my plate down.

"Yeah, good idea." Paul gave me a brief nod and put the remains of his meal aside too. I got to my feet and began to gather up my scattered clothes, looking around the room carefully to make sure I didn't miss anything. As I checked the pocket in my sweats for my phone, it beeped with a text message.

'Did you get my book, Daddy?'

'Yes, sweetheart, I got it. Coming home soon. X,' I typed in response.

"Your wife?" asked Paul, with a surprising touch of bitterness in his voice.

"No, my daughter, asking if I got her book."

"Oh."

I pushed my feet into my sneakers and checked one last time that I had my keys and wallet, picked up my bag and hovered, wondering how to say goodbye to him. He was on his feet, still only wearing his underwear and looking hot as hell and a little wistful.

"Hope your other meeting goes well," I said.

"Yeah, thanks."

I hesitated and then stepped towards him to give him an awkward one-armed hug while I continued to hold onto my bag with the other hand. His arm came around me in response and his lips brushed my ear, then he moved away quickly.

"Goodbye, Paul."

"Bye."

I headed for the door, noticing that he remained facing the other way, not watching as I exited and I closed the door and strode towards the elevators. I expected a shroud of guilt to immediately envelop me and I did feel that way a little, but what was more noticeable was the regret that I was walking away from him. I wanted more and as much as it shamed me to admit it, it wasn't just about sex any longer.