Charon
…had a .44 hidden in his jacket.
I took that bullet for you, big guy.
Looks like I finally got what's coming to me. Wendy's screaming, clutching at me. I reach down and feel the hole in my gut. I know…it's too big. Too much gone. Stimpaks can't heal everything. I hit myself with one anyway to stem the flow of blood – I can't die in here. I can't let them keep me; I can't let them study me, to make more tortured slaves in my image.
As Virgil gets the door open, I can hear Joseph gurgling, his heels drumming against the floor, grunts of pain as he fights for life. That must hurt like a sonofabitch. Serves him right. As the door clanks open, Joseph quiets. I grip Virgil's arm and lean into him. "Let's go. Now."
We run as fast as we can, I'm stumbling more than running. It's a miracle that there's no one out here – they must be distracted by the power outage. We head south, and find a ravine. Convenient. "I need a rest." Virgil looks at me with sad, knowing eyes, glances at the blood dripping between my fingers from the hole in my gut. I sit heavily.
"We can't stop, we have to go!" Wendy is frantic, pulling at me.
I look up at her. "Wendy, I can't."
"What do you mean you can't?"
I take my hands off my wound. She screams, tears dripping on my face. "No! Oh, God, NO!"
I grasp her hand, smearing bright red blood on her white skin. "Yes."
"But we can fix it! We can –"
"No, Wendy. There's too much gone. It can't be fixed." I turn my head to Virgil. "When I'm dead, hide me. For the love of all that's holy, don't let them find me."
Virgil leans in, rests a hand on my arm. "I love you, Dad."
"I love you too, son." My vision starts to swim, and I slump back. The stars are beautiful tonight. Wendy's clinging to me, sobbing. When Virgil tries to make her let go, she screams and fights him. "Charon, don't go!"
"I'm sorry. I have to. I'm…sorry."
I used to think that people were full of shit when they said that before you die, you saw your life flash before your eyes. Too bad I won't be able to tell them I was wrong. It must be only a few seconds, but it feels like hours, years. There's a flurry of images, and I snatch at them, try to focus:
A beautiful woman, tangled red hair…smiling down at me
A stern man, holding her back, as she reaches for me, screaming - Don't let them take my boy!
An angry sergeant looming over me, smacks my face with an open palm
A brown-haired little boy, nose bloody, crying
My hands, cut up, bruised up
My platoon-mates, joking, punching one another
A dark-haired woman, underneath me, eyes closed, mouth open
A kiss, the taste of vodka, stale cigarettes
A rifle bucks in my hands, into my shoulder
A happy blond woman, running her hands through my hair
Bright red blood on pavement
A group of men in military uniforms – You've been chosen for a very special project, O'Connor
Fluorescent lights flickering
Cold floors
An operating table
A man in a lab coat
A man, eyes wide, my hands around his throat, squeezing
My contract, folded, in a pocket of a lab coat
A sea of faces, each blurring into the next
A building, abandoned, Geiger counter ticking wildly
A clump of red hair in my hand
My arms, peeling, skin sloughing off
Following a caravan down a dusty trail
Ahzrukhal, laughing.
Eyes looking up at me, deep brown, terrified
My ruined face in a cracked mirror
My corner at the Ninth Circle
Mallie laughing, spattered with blood
Forcing her over the picnic table, her warm, squirming body beneath me
My calloused palm, connecting with her soft cheek
Her heavy-lidded eyes. "Hurt me. Please."
Oasis, her skin, soft moans in the dark
Her mounting me, soft breasts bouncing
A dusty trail, following behind her
A chubby, dirty baby, crying
Virgil kissing Wendy at their wedding
Mallie, smiling at me. Oh, you've come back for me!
I reach for her, but my arm doesn't move. So heavy.
"I love you, Charon." She says.
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I love you too. Oh, God, how I love you.
She takes my hand in hers, kisses my cheek.
In the darkness, I see a light, so bright it hurts.
As I rush into it, softly, softly she whispers…
"Hush now. Go to sleep."