Tina watched the pair dance while Puck sang the lyrics of Shattered by OAR to Callie. She understood the hurt in Puck's voice but she also heard the cry of patience.
The way they danced told Tina a lot about them together. The way Callie's head rested on his chest, the way Puck held her hand to his heart, the aura of a deep intimacy between them. Puck gently touching the baby bump, the plea of time. It only made Tina sure in her mission.
She pulled her IPOD out after Callie left and found the song she was looking for, it was more Puck's style than her own. She headed to the library to print the lyrics off for Puck.
Later, she found him in the hallway and told him to look the music over that she had sent the link to his phone. She wanted him to sing it in Glee with her. He looked at the title and made a comment about how Mr. Shue wouldn't let them sing that song, it wasn't something that the teacher would like. Tina told him not to worry about that, to leave that part up to her.
Tina text Rachel and let her know what she was up to with Puck. She was going to need everyone behind this part of her plan to keep Mr. Shue from pulling the plug on the song. Maybe have Finn talk to Mr. Shue about how Puck needs to sing this song to help deal with his feelings. Rachel let her know that she'll take care of Finn.
Tina smiled when all the other Gleeks text her to let her know they were in, but they all agreed that Mr. Shue was going to have an issue with the content and meaning of the lyrics of the song. But that they all understood, except for maybe Finn, he thought the song was about killing someone. Rachel said she would explain it all to him later. Everyone agreed to talk more at practice.
Xxxxxxxxxx
Callie's POV
I cant believe that his friends started fighting over whether I was hurting Puck sitting with the girls. I knew it was too good to last, having friends to talk to about all this drama. It was so nice today at lunch sitting there talking about the baby, the sleep over, you know just to talk to other girls.
Why couldn't they keep their opinions to themselves? Or at least be quiet about it? I am getting used to being the center of the gossip mongers in the halls, the fingers that point at me as I walk by, the stares every time Puck and I are even near each other. Don't they realize that they are only hurting both of us? Why did they have to scream at each other for everyone to hear?
I saw the looks on the girls faces. Mercedes looked like she was going to kill someone. Tina kept looking at Mike like do something. Rachel's face was twisted in fury at what her boyfriend was saying about me. Quinn had a look of pity, but in a kind way on her face. Santana even looked pissed at what was happening.
I did the only thing I could think of, I left the room. I just wanted to get away somewhere there were no voices or people, so I went to the auditorium. I knew it would be empty during lunch.
Puck followed me. I don't know why. He said he didn't want to be near me. I ignored him, cause that is what he wants from me. Or at least I thought that is what he wanted after yesterday. I was wrong? kind of…I am so confused….Why cant Puck and I just talk instead of yelling? Or hurting each other so much?
Puck plugged his IPOD into the music deck. The song Shattered by OAR started to flow out of the speaker. I knew this song. I like the group and have the CD at home. He pulled me up to dance with him, singing the lyrics to me.
The lyrics are about a guy that keeps going back to his girlfriend. He wants to break free but he cant. The pain, the hurt, the love…He just needs time on his own to figure out what he really wants from her.
It felt so good to be back in his arms, to feel…I don't know how to describe it. I feel safe with him, scared, hurt…I just wanted to close my eyes and forget all the bullshit that had happened to us…..But it was still there, everything was still in our thoughts…
And then Puck tells me, "Just give me time, give us time Callie cause I'm not sorry either." He even put his hand on the baby bump for just a second. My head is spinning, my heart is…hoping…breaking…..in so many different ways. He isn't sorry that he fell in love with me. What does Puck want from me?
I don't want to hope. I don't want to think that maybe we can work through all of this. I don't want to think we can have that fairy tale ending. If I start wishing and hoping that everything is going to turn out great, it will just hurt more when it all stays the way it is now, him hating me, hurting me.
So what do I do? Can I really trust the girls to talk to them about him? I think I can with Tina. She seems like she really wants to be my friend and Mercedes too. The others I am still unsure of except Brittany. Smiles…Tadpole is so cute… I just don't think she would understand what I am feeling or how to help me. Maybe I can talk to them at the sleepover. Ugh! Stop thinking about it!
She starts paying attention to her history teacher….
Xxxxxxxxx
Tina sets up the auditorium stage for the duet with Puck. She knows that Mr. Shue is going to have an epileptic fit when he hears the song, but Puck really needs to say some things out loud. Things that are going to hurt him, hurt Callie if she were to hear them, but this way Puck can say it without her being there.
Everyone arrives except for Puck. She knows he is on his way though. Finn is still muttering about how this song is about a guy killing his girlfriend and Shue is going to send all of them to detention for this stunt.
"I cant believe we are doing this!" Finn exclaims as Rachel hands him a roll of duct tape. "And how did I get to be the one to do this part? Why cant Mike or Sam do it?"
"Because you are still trying to make up for earlier dear, you know when you and Kurt started the scream fest in the cafeteria? So just stick to the plan and if we get detention at least we will all be in there together, just like in The Breakfast Club." Rachel smiles sternly at Finn.
"Are you sure about this babe? I mean the lyrics are kinda bad towards the girl in the song. Are you sure Puck is going to show up?" Mike has his arms around Tina talking so that no one else can hear them.
"Yeah, I'm sure. He really needs to let go of his emotions and do it without hurting Callie. He is so confused right now. I talked to him yesterday, he still loves her. He just needs to sort out all the things, good and bad, in his heart right now." Tina reaches up and kisses her boyfriend gently on the lips. Mike nods his head knowing that he cant change her mind.
Everyone turns to see Puck enter the stage, he is clutching the sheet music in his hand with a death grip. His face holds no emotions, his eyes look empty.
"Hey Puck. Are you okay?" Mercedes asks the ill fated question of the day. Over the last couple of days she has really had to take a look at what she believes in, her faith, to find the forgiveness for the troubled jock. She even talked to her pastor about it last night seeking guidance. He simply told her to go with her heart on this one. If Callie is in love with Puck and vice versa; then forgiveness was needed, but from each other, not the rest of the world.
"No Aretha, I'm most definitely not." He answers in a voice without an ounce of anger in it. He just seems really tired and out of it. "Hey Tina are you really sure about doing this song in front of Mr. Shue? I mean, I know its about me and Callie but he really is going to go bat shit over the language and what it means." Puck has read the lyrics and listened to the song for the last hour in class, he knows why Tina picked it for him.
"Puck just let go and sing the song. You need to do this without worrying about hurting anyone. You need to let the pain out instead of holding it all inside. We aren't here to judge you, just to be here for you." Rachel says with compassion in her voice as the other members of Glee gather around the stage.
"Hey guys. Are you ready to get started on rehearsal?" Mr. Shue's voice booms through the auditorium. He looks at the group standing on the stage, something is up. They all just had that look on their faces.
"Uh. Mr. Shue, Tina and Puck would like to sing a song first before rehearsal. They wanted to share it with the rest of the class." Artie speaks up surprising everyone especially Rachel. He had become friends with Puck over the last year in Glee. He even looked up to Puck before all this, but like in the movies, heroes can fall from grace too. But he decided that the changes he saw in Puck were genuine, he had really tried to change and maybe what happened with Callie was the reason for it. So even though he no longer thought of Puck on a pedestal, he still deserved a chance.
"Well, I guess we have time for a quick song. Just make sure not to take up too much of the rehearsal time, okay guys?" Mr. Shue goes to take a seat in the audience, he notices that Finn, Mike and Sam are following him. "So what's up guys?" He is starting to wonder if the boys are alright. Why is Finn holding a roll of duct tape?
"Mr. Shue, please don't get mad at us but….." Finn tells him as the boys push him down in one of the front row seats and start wrapping duct tape around him and the back of the chair.
"What the hell is going on guys? Is this some kind of prank?" Mr. Shue's eyes are wide, looking at all the boys in shock. "Just let me go and I wont have to report this to Figgins."
"Sorry Mr. Shue but we cant do that, Puck needs to channel his emotions before he goes and does something stupid, well more stupid than he has already done. The song they are going to sing, you would try to stop them and we all think he needs to sing it." Finn remembered all the words Rachel told him to say and even though they were all in trouble he was proud of himself. "So please just sit back, relax, and we will take the tape off when they are done….Oh and please no yelling during the song. Thank you." The boys take seats in the same row.
Will is shocked into silence. His kids just taped him to a chair so that they could help Puck. He watches as everyone walks to the side of the stage, leaving Tina and Puck to stand alone. Artie pushes the play button on the music station and Tina begins to sing first.
[Tina]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that's all right,
because I like the way it hurts
just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that's all right, because I love the way you lie,
I love the way you lie.
[Puck]
I can't tell you what it really is.
I can only tell you what it feels lik
and right now, it's a steel knife in my windpipe.
I can't breathe, but I still fight while I can fight
as long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight
high off her love, drunk from my hate, it's like I'm huffin' paint
and I love it, the more I suffer, I suffocate
and right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me,
She fuckin' hates me, and I love it.
"Wait, where you goin'?"
"I'm leavin' you!"
"No you ain't! Come back!"
We're runnin' right back, here we go again!
It's so insane, cause when it's goin' good, it's goin' great.
I'm Superman with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane
But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed.
I snap, "Who's that dude? I don't even know his name."
I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again.
I guess I don't know my own strength.
[Tina]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that's all right, because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that's all right, because I love the way you lie,
I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.
[Puck]
You ever love somebody so much, you can barely breathe
And you with 'em you meet, and neither one of you even know what hit em'
Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah them chills used to get 'em
you're getting fuckin' sick of lookin' at 'em
swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothin' to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face, spewin' venom in your words when you spit 'em
Yo push pull each other's hair, scratch claw,
Hit 'em, throw 'em down, pin 'em, so lost in the moments when you're in 'em
''Its the rage that's the culprit, controls you both
So they say it's best to go your separate ways
Gues that they don't know ya, 'cause today, that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playin' over,
But you promised her, next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane.
[Tina]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that's all right, because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that's all right, because I love the way you lie,
I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.
[Puck]
Now I know we said things, did things, that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad s mine is, you're the same as me
When it comes to love you're just as blinded
Baby please come back! It wasn't you, baby, it was me!
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much, to walk away thought
Come inside, pick up the bags off the sidewalk!
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball!
Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the dry wall!
Next time? There won't be no next time!
I apologize, even though I know it's lies!
I'm tired of the games! I just want her back! I know I'm a liar!
If she ever tries to fuckin' leave again,
I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire!
Just gonna
[Tina]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that's all right, because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that's all right, because I love the way you lie,
I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie...
The music dies away and silence fills the space. Everyone heard the raw emotions in Puck's voice, saw it in his eyes, in his movements. The love, the hate, the fear, the rage.
Will was taken aback by the scene in front of him. He knew that Puck could be violent and had been violent in the past, but watching him actually made him cringe. Puck would storm up to Tina with his fists clenched at his sides, he would throw his hands up in the air. The way Puck screamed some of the lyrics at Tina frightened him, he was running off pure emotions that were freight training through his heart. He knew Puck was seeing the girl, Callie, not Tina as he sang, but the line of burning down the house with her in it….That was pure rage talking…and Puck was known to be a fire bug….And the way Puck collapsed at Tina's feet when the song was over…Let's just say Will thinks he really needs to talk to Puck…
Tina took the brunt of his emotions when he sang to her, but it was Callie he was really seeing standing in front of him and Tina wasn't afraid of Puck. She was exposed fully to Puck's emotions and she knew that he would not hurt her. He screamed at her during certain lines of the song, she knew that he was reliving the worst and best of times with Callie. Tina never took her eyes off of him as he sang. He needed to know that someone was listening to him. When he collapsed on his knees in front of her, she walked the distance that separated them. She wrapped her arms around him, she could feel his ragged breaths against her body, as she sang the last lines of the song.
Finn, Mike, and Sam start pulling the duct tape off Mr. Shue mumbling words of apology and that they understand if they all have detention for the rest of the school year. Mr. Shue doesn't say a word to them. He stands and walks to the stage looking at Tina and Puck lost in thought.
"Well guys that is not something that I would recommend we do for Sectionals', but I think Tina and Puck did a good job with the song. Puck I would like to see you after school today, I think we really do need to talk." Mr. Shue looks at the rest of the class. "As for the duct tape, I don't want to see it during rehearsal anymore. Come on guys, all you had to do was let me know what was going on and I would have been cool with it."
Puck is standing up now and the rest of the Gleeks gather around him. He mumbles sorry to Mike about hanging on his girl. Mike only half heartedly punches him in the arm over it, we're cool dude. The girls all kinda smile at him. Everyone knows that Puck is still reeling from the emotional roller coaster ride and worry about Puck exploding on Mr. Shue.
"Um Mr. Shue, no offense, but I don't really want to talk to you. I have to figure this out, not you, not Coach Sylvester. Just me. It's my life. It's Callie's life. And it's the life of our baby, Tadpole." Puck smiles at the nickname looking at Brittany who grins widely at him. He continues in a somber, calm voice.
"Everyone wants to tell me what I should do, I have to decide what I am going to do. I have a great support system right here," motions to everyone standing around him. "But this is something that I have to work out, on my own with Callie. Neither one of us can take back what we have done to each other, but maybe we can work it out in time." Puck knows that he keeps using the words in time to everyone, but he really does believe what he is saying.
"I will come to you when I need you Mr. Shue, but until then please respect my privacy. And I have a job interview today, plus shopping with Kurt and Finn for my new apartment." Puck actually sounds like a mature person talking to his teacher.
"Puck you really need to talk to someone besides Sue, go and see Emma, she can recommend a good therapist to help you deal with all of your issues. I listened to you sing that song just now and in all honesty your rage frightens me. The way you screamed at Tina, your body language, you need to talk to someone." Mr. Shue tries to reason with Puck, his voice relaying the fear he feels.
"The only person that I need to talk to is Callie. She is the only other person that really knows what is going on between us. I know I have issues with my anger, hell everyone knows, but I am not going to hit her or hurt her again. She is the mother of my child and the only person that I have ever loved this way. I will ask you again to respect my privacy and if you cant I will quit New Directions." Puck's voice is even and low. He doesn't want to quit, he really likes being in the group but not if he has to listen to this every time.
"Mr. Shue, I agree with Puck. This is his life. These are his decisions. We all are trying to help him by letting him handle this mess. He needs people to be there for him, not tell him what to do and what not to do. Life isn't always a fucking rose garden and real love isn't found in some stupid ass romance novel either." Kurt surprises everyone with this outburst. He is sick and tired of Mr. Shue not being in touch with how everyone really feels. We are the outcasts of this school…
"I agree too." Mercedes is the next to step up, she loops her arm through Kurt's.
"Me too." Quinn looks at Puck with a soft smile, her hand in Sam's.
"So do we Mr. Shue." Rachel looks at Finn with a look that says, nod your head.
"Puck has all of us. No offence Mr. Shue but you have no idea what it is like to be a teenager today. We are the losers of this school, no matter how many trophies we win. So we take care of each other and that includes Puck. We may not like what he did, but he is still our friend." Tina doesn't want Puck to quit, he needs this just like he needs football. The rest of the Gleeks nod their agreement.
"Okay Puck I will respect you and your privacy. Just remember that you can talk to me or Emma." Mr. Shue hears the bell ring for end of class. He watches the kids walk out of the auditorium. The kids had become a family somewhere along the way….