The Organizational Problem

Chapter 2:

Before you start reading, I just want you to know one thing: Kittenness is my word. You can't have it. OH! And I learned to play the game Twenty-One when I was seven, too.

"Awe! You're so cute, Roxas! You're still a kitten!" Namine bellowed. She had always loved two things in this world: Kittens, and Roxas. And, like a dream, the two were now one. She picked up the still sleeping kitten and rocked it in her arms.

Namine's gentle rocking and occasional petting eventually made Roxas start to purr softly. This encouraged Namine.

"Awe. He's just like a little kitty when he's asleep. I wonder if acts like one when he's not asleep." This brought on a montage of Namine hanging posters, paintings, drawings, and placing small toys on the floor. (AUTHORS NOTE: Don't think that this won't be a little funny when Roxas wakes up.)

Elsewhere in The Castle That Never Was…

Marluxia had just woken from her peaceful, undisturbed slumber feeling refreshed.

I'm feeling different today. Oh, yeah… I'm a girl now. What should I do? I know! I'll do something that's girly. Now… what is girly?

A thought popped into her mind.

That's it! I'll plant petunias! Petunias are much more feminine than roses!

Back to Namine and Roxas… In the newly decorated room.

Holy God… What the hell happened here? Namine, please tell me you killed whoever did this to my room. Did you kill them?

Roxas had just awoken from his restful sleep, and in his drowsy state of mind, didn't notice the… kittenness that had befallen his rest center.

"Why, Roxas, I redecorated your room for you. I thought since you're such a cute cat now, you'd like cat things." And Roxas had to say, "cat things" did describe what had become his room. Everywhere there were posters that said "HANG IN THERE BABY" with cats hanging on to wires. Then there were the wind-up toy mice that sat, scattered, all over the floor.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. None of this intrigues me, Namine. Though his voice was steady, his eyes kept darting back and forth from mouse to mouse. Namine must have noticed this, because she picked one up and wound it as far as it would go.

What are you doing with that?

She gave him a short giggle and set the mouse on the floor, not yet letting go. "You'll see." And she let go of the mouse.

It zipped across the room, moving in random direction like a Vector gone AWOL. In what must have been a quarter of a second, Roxas was on the ground, chasing the toy madly, not daring to cease the pursuit. After a minute and a half later, the mouse's random movements died down, slowed, and eventually stopped all together. Roxas pounced on the motionless toy, started to gnaw on its face, and realized that it wasn't real.

He then realized that he had been doing something that was undoubtfully catlike.

Damn you, Namine. I'll get you making a fool of Roxas, Number XIII of the most powerful Organization in the history of mankind. But by the time he had finished the sentence Namine had wound up another mouse and unleashed it.

Damn you to hell! He thought as he started the hunt for the toy.

In The Living Room With A Slightly Used And Uncomfortable Sofa That Possibly Is…

"Twenty-One eh? Sure I can play a quick game, but you'd better watch, back in the old days, my Other could play mean game of Blackjack." Luxord and Xigbar had just woken up, and the two had nothing better to do, the Luxord, now a seven year old, suggested Twenty-One.

Of course, after the second hand, Luxord had made things more interesting. "How 'bout we put something on the line? I bet this deck of cards. What do you put up?" Though he might have been only seven, Luxord was very persuasive, and Xigbar took the bait.

"Alright, little man," he threw a couple dollar bills between himself and Luxord, "I put up two bucks."

Luxord dealt out the face down cards and the first of the face-ups. They both checked their own cards.

"Hit me." Xigbar said, keeping an expressionless face. Luxord dealt again, and after fourteen seconds of calculating what his face-down plus his new face-up cards were, he sighed. "Busted." He threw down a face card, a seven, and another face card.

Luxord however, turned over his face-down card, and as it was, he had an ace and a face card. A perfect score of twenty-one.

"Heh, guess I win, Old Man." He picked up the two dollar-bills and slipped them into the kangaroo pouch of his black cloak.

"Fine, double-or-nothing, you little brat." He threw another two bucks down, and Luxord threw his cash in. Another perfect twenty-one for Luxord, and another bust for Xigbar. Later, Xemnas passed a very depressed looking Xigbar.

"Something wrong, Xigbar?" She asked, not quite sympathetically.

He ground his teeth. "I'm going to the bank." He said as he opened a portal. He kept on muttering things as he stopped into the portal like "Little Bastard" and "Even took my eye-patch" and "Steal it back tonight."

By now, it was lunch time in the Castle That Never was, and everyone was hungry, including Roxas and Lexeaus the kittens.

Now, keep in mind, Lexeaus always did love fish. He liked to eat every type in fact, and it could be cooked in any fashion, fried, steamed, boiled, grilled, even raw. But what came out of that can during lunch, was no kind of fish. In no universe, could that lump of water and what looked, literally, like a piece of crap, EVER be considered to be some kind animal that once lived in water. He was pretty sure that he saw a clump of hair and a human tooth poking themselves out of the top of the "Nutritious Meal"

And as for Roxas, he was pretty sure that "Gourmet" food isn't supposed to smell like vomit, diarrhea, and burnt rubber.

God help us. They both thought at the same time after investigating their dishes. Then they looked at the rest of the Organizations food. Cheeseburger Macaroni, Dr. Pepper, and brownies had been prepared for everyone, even Xaldin the Moogle.

Now we know why pets beg for table-scraps, Lex. Now we know what crap they have to go through.

Let's never abuse being able to eat real food without dying ever again.

Then Namine set down two saucers of milk. Roxas lapped it up with his sandpapery tongue immediately while Lexeaus stared his down for a moment before his licked it up. Roxas gave a big ol' Kitty sigh of relief before he took a long deep breath.

Why're you taking so long to drink you milk, Lex? He asked his fellow kitten.

You'll find out later, Roxas. You'll find out later.

Has anyone ever told you how creepy the way you answer questions is? Like, everyday people ask you what you're going to do in the bathroom, and you always say stuff like, 'That's not necessary information' or 'you'll find out later.' I guess that last one is kinda funny but the other one is creepy… and a little funny. But yeah, why do you say that when you could give a straight answer?

Reasons.

There it is again.

Maybe you should shut the hell up before I DO give you a straight answer.

At that, a decision was made inside the blonde kittens mind: Silent would be Roxas, till the end of his days… or at least for the next forty-eight seconds.

So… the milk. Why'd you drink it so slowly?

*pppffffffffffffffffft*

Did you just cut the cheese? *gasp* Dude! That's rank! I think you need to see a doctor. That smell's terrible. Dude! Ugh! Dang! I need oxygen!

I told you you'd find out later, Roxas. I'm lactose intolerant. This is what happens when I have dairy.

Kill me! Kill me! Someone, please decapitate me! I'm begging you guys! Please!

Shut the crap up before I let one rip again!

God… someone get the air freshener. Open a window. Light a match. Do something.

**

That one sounded a little wet. I think I'll step outside for a minute.

That's right you're gonna go out for a minute. Oh God! It's back! I can still smell it!

"Did somebody just cut the cheese?" asked Xemnas. "God! That's horrific!"