Mikau: Hello there! Welcome back! Sorry for the delay; I was working on my JET program application, but updates should be steady now (I hope) that I have most of that out of the way. There should be a CBC update tomorrow or the next day too. I've got work, so we'll see if I get around to posting, but it should be soon. By the way, thanks to Shara Raizel, Raifuujin, and Athie Lestrade for your reviews. It was really good to get the feedback, but now that I've realized that quite a bit more people than I thought were reading and following and favoriting, I'm less worried. I was really wondering what I was doing wrong before I checked the story stats. Anyway, thanks, guys, and enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I would hire someone to pick out Hakuba's outfits in the morning. He really shouldn't be allowed to dress himself.

….

So Many Stairs (or: Legwork)

"I'm already tired, and I haven't even accomplished anything today," Saguru sighed as he sat down to dinner.

"And whose fault is that?" Kaito snorted, expending a great deal of energy to pull out a seat for himself.

"Yours," Saguru chuckled as he watched his friend struggle with the chair. "Let me get that for you."

"Don't treat me like a woman," Kaito pouted but allowed the detective to pull the seat out for him anyway.

"Oh, okay. I'll let you wrestle with it from now on, shall I?" Saguru smirked.

"Dick," Kaito hissed, setting his head down on the table.

"Ah-ah-ah," the younger of the two scolded. "Just because Baaya can't hear you doesn't mean you can talk like that in front of her…. And do sit up, Kuroba."

"I hate you," the ghost growled.

"I love you too, Darling," Saguru snickered, piling a little bit of food onto a salad plate and sticking a pair of chopsticks straight up into it. He pushed the plate in front of his guest. "There you go. Enjoy."

Kaito blinked then laughed. "An offering to the dead? Awww, you shouldn't have."

"I know. I really shouldn't have at the table. It's terrible manners," the gentleman sighed, turning to his housekeeper. "Sorry for excluding you from the conversation, Baaya. How was your day?"

"Oh, just fine, Saguru. Don't worry too much about including me; you two are just precious to listen to, even if I am missing half of the dialogue. I can mostly figure it out. And what did you two do today?"

"Kuroba wanted to visit Aoko-kun, so we went for ice cream and then to the movies. We talked a great deal, and I must admit, I had a rather good time. Kuroba wants to set the two of us up now that he's gone," Saguru recapped. "And I got absolutely nothing accomplished in regards to this one's murder." He indicated the occupant of the chair to his left.

Baaya nodded. "That's rather noble of you, Kuroba-kun, letting go so that she can find happiness. My Saguru will take good care of your girl, so don't worry."

"I know." Kaito grinned, responding even though he knew he wouldn't be heard. "That's why I picked him."

"He says he knows," Saguru translated.

"And what are you boys going to do now? It's getting late, and you look exhausted."

"Baaya, it's hardly seven, and there's still plenty of work to be done. I have to find the crime scene and scourer it for clues before the trail goes cold," Saguru made his case.

"Just…don't wear yourself out, Saguru. Kuroba-kun? You'll make sure he gets to bed at a decent time?" Baaya turned to the glowing blue ball of light.

"Don't worry, Baaya. I'm on it!" Kaito assured.

"He says yes," Saguru translated, making quick work of his dinner. "Well, I'm off to work. Thank you for the meal, Baaya. It was delicious."

"I'm not done yet!" Kaito whined, concentrating all of his efforts on grabbing hold of the chopsticks stuck in the offering.

"Kuroba, you can't eat that. Even if you were to get the chopsticks out, you'd still have to get the food to your mouth, and even if you did get the food to your mouth, you have no digestive tract. I'm sorry, but you can't eat, Kuroba," Hakuba sighed.

"Poor thing," Baaya cooed.

"I will eat. By sheer willpower, I will eat," Kaito growled, managing to get a grip on the chopsticks and pull them free.

Unfortunately, the eating utensils fell out of his hand directly afterword.

The phantom thief sighed. "I hate my afterlife."

"Come along. We have a murder to solve, Kuroba." Saguru gently nudged his friend.

Kaito got up and begrudgingly followed. "Will you push in my seat for me?"

"Of course, Kuroba."

000

They set to work as soon as they reached the bedroom. Well, Saguru did anyway. Kaito just kind of collapsed on the couch.

After three and a half hours of analyzing the data, Saguru finally said, "Alright. Based on the pieces of gravel stuck under your fingernails, the wind speed and direction on the night of your murder, and the possible flight courses from your starting point, I've narrowed it down to five rooftops."

"That's it? After all of that?" Kaito was clearly not impressed. "What took you so long, Mei-Tantei-san?"

"Hey," Saguru whined. "That was a lot of work. You should be astounded that I accomplished so much in such a short amount of time."

"Kudo Shinichi could have done it faster," Kaito grumbled. "Kudo Shinichi probably could have figured out a way for me to eat too."

"Are you still on about that?" Saguru sighed.

"Yes. Yes I am," the deceased pouted. "Hakuba, I want to eat! You don't understand how terrible this is!"

"Oh, and I want you to come back to life and kiss me, but you don't see me whining and carrying on, do you?" Saguru snapped. "Quit complaining and help me solve your murder so you can move on, get reincarnated, and eat whenever you please."

"Sorry," Kaito sighed, rolling over onto his stomach. "It's just so frustrating, not having a body. I can't do anything, and…sorry, Hakuba. I know you're trying your hardest. What were you saying?"

"I was saying," Saguru continued, only more gently this time. "that I only received a list of the different minerals and compounds under your nails. First I had to determine what went together and then what each substance was. When I learned that one of them was gravel, I searched to find the company and brand by its formula. I then did a little hacking in order to access consumer records to find out who all bought that kind of gravel. I cross-referenced that list with a list of companies that had buildings within all of your possible lines of flight that night. After thoroughly researching, I have narrowed our options down to five. Now, is that or is that not impressive?"

"You're amazing, Hakuba," Kaito chuckled. "Sorry."

"I'd rather hear 'thank you,'" the detective pushed his luck. "or maybe 'you're definitely better than Kudo Shinichi.'"

"Thank you," Kaito acquiesced.

"Am I not better than Kudo-kun?" Saguru asked with big doe eyes.

"Jury's out on that one." Kaito shrugged, unwilling to tell his friend that "Kudo-kun" had already shown him up several times in the guise of a grade schooler. "So, you got pictures of these rooftops for me to look at, or are we going in person tomorrow?"

"Here are the pictures," Saguru sighed, pulling up the files.

Kaito was quickly able to eliminate the first three, but the last two looked fairly similar. The thief paused, biting his lip as he clicked back and forth between the two. "I'm not really sure. It was kind of dark at the time, and I was sort of too busy being shot and killed to notice much of the surroundings, but I know it wasn't one of the other three."

"Maybe seeing it in person would be best," the detective decided, shutting things down for the night.

"I guess we can go first thing in the morning." Kaito shrugged and then yawned with a stretch.

"It would be better to go now," Saguru informed his partner. "It was dark when you were there before, so you would probably be able to identify it more easily a second time at night."

"But…it's your bedtime. Baaya will get angry. Plus, I don't think it's safe for you to be going out at night alone to a murder scene," the thief reasoned.

"We'll sneak out, so Baaya will never have to know, and I won't be alone because I'll be with you. It'll be fine, Kuroba. I never knew you were such a worrywart," Saguru snorted, grabbing his things and putting them in a sack.

"Well, if I were alive, I'd have no problem with it, since I'm naturally inclined to stupidity, but I'm dead, Hakuba, and you're not. I'd like to keep you that way," the older teen quipped.

"That's awfully sweet of you, but I'm rather stubborn, and I've decided that I'm going. You can tag along, if you'd like. It'd make my trip a bit pointless, if you didn't." Saguru smiled and made his way to the door.

"At least take a scarf," Kaito groaned. "It's cold out there at night!"

The magician needn't have worried.

Baaya was waiting for them just outside the door with her arms crossed, a displeased scowl on her face. "And just where did you think you were going, Young Master?"

Saguru sighed and told the truth, not seeing the point in hiding it from her when she'd only weasel it out of him in thirty seconds or less.

"I forbid it!" his stand-in mother bellowed and proceeded to chew him out for being so reckless.

He then explained the necessity of the nighttime excursion and made puppy-dog eyes at her.

It didn't work so well the first time, but after a few rounds of begging and scolding and reasoning with, Baaya approved the fieldtrip as long as she went along as a chaperon.

"Put on a scarf, Saguru. It's cold out there," the woman of the house insisted before she would allow them to leave.

"Yes, Baaya," Saguru sighed, doing as he was told.

000

Fifty-five minutes later they were standing on the roof of the first building. Well, Kaito was standing. Saguru had collapsed on the ground, gasping for breath.

"Are you that out of shape?" Kaito chuckled, taking a look around.

Saguru wanted to make a snide comment about seeing him climb fifty-plus flights of fire escape, but air was too precious a thing to waste on bickering.

Kaito just laughed and carried out his own investigation.

"Anything…l-look…famil-liar?" Saguru wheezed after the apparition had been at it for a while.

"A little bit, but not really. It's hard to tell, but…maybe after I see the other one?" Kaito smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. More stairs."

"Holy Mary, mother of God, please help me," Saguru begged, peeling himself up off of the floor.

His legs felt like jelly, and they supported him about as well.

Kaito tried not to laugh as his friend fell flat on his face. Tried.

000

Once they made it down one building, across town, and up another, it was just past midnight.

Saguru had to crawl the last three flights, but they made it to the top, and their efforts were well worth it.

"This is it," Kaito stated with certainty. "I was flying this way when Snake shot me down. He was standing over there." Kaito pointed to the roof access door. "I landed here," Kaito jabbered on, dashing to the center of the roof and looking around some more. "I backed up all the way to here before he got on top of me and forced that pill down my throat," the magician explained sadly, retracing his final steps. "Here. This is it, Hakuba."

"G-Good," the detective panted, limping to his companion's side. "Now all we have to do…is…is find some proof that you were here. A bullet casing, fibers, blood…something…anything to get the police to come check it out."

"They'll probably find blood stains if they do that luminol test thing. Oh! Can they do that gunpowder test thing too? Snake's not stupid enough to leave a casing behind, but there's nothing he could do about gunpowder residue," Kaito chattered excitedly.

"Or, maybe we'll get extremely lucky and discover that your murder was caught on film," Saguru chuckled, pointing to an adjacent rooftop with a security camera mounted on top of the roof access door.

"Sweet. We'll have to come back and ask for the tapes tomorrow, but…this is a really big break, isn't it?" Kaito chuckled gleefully. "I've wanted to get this guy for my father's murder for…like…forever, and now…well, it's not exactly my father's murder, but…we're actually gonna get him, aren't we?"

"Yes, we'll get him, Kuroba, but it may be a little difficult to obtain those tapes without a warrant. I may be the Superintendent's son, but I, myself, am not a cop. I don't have the authority to demand to see those tapes," Saguru tried to break the news to his friend gently.

"So? Ask Daddy for a favor, then." Kaito easily shrugged it off. "We can't convince the police of anything until there's evidence, but we can't get the evidence unless we have police help. We need those tapes, Hakuba. I don't care what you have to do to get them."

"And neither do I," Saguru agreed with a decisive nod. "Tomorrow, Kuroba, I swear we'll get those tapes and get the police to start an investigation. We won't fail."

Kaito's smile positively glowed. "Un, but, for now, let's go home and let you get some sleep. You look half dead."

000

Kaito found himself, oddly enough, in hell. Well, hell in the form of an exquisite banquet hall, lit with candelabras, and why the hell was he wearing his Kid outfit?

This certainly qualified as one of Hakuba's more exotic dreams. Usually they took place in the detective's room or at school or some other everyday place. Banquet hall in some European castle was definitely changing it up.

"Please. Be my guest," a familiar British voice intoned. "Take a seat."

Kuroba whipped around and found Hakuba himself sitting at the head of the table that was heavily laden with breads, meats, soups, pastries, and other goodies that Kaito hadn't been able to eat in what felt like eons.

"Hey, Hakuba. Sorry to crash your dream again, but I was bored." Kaito smiled sheepishly, picking a chair and taking a seat. "Not much for the dead to do at night. What's up with the costume?"

The former kaitou wasn't the only one dressed up. The detective was decked out in a prince's outfit straight out of a fantasy novel.

"I thought I'd dress for the occasion. It's not often that we get to dine together like this."

Kaito blinked. "Dine?"

"Yes. Help yourself. I've had all of your favorites prepared." Hakuba indicated the spread.

"Seriously? I don't mind if I do." The intruder held his breath and picked up a piece of tempura squid. He took a bite and nearly started singing hallelujah because he could actually taste the food.

Hakuba watched with a fond, amused smirk while Kuroba ate his fill.

Once the deceased was finished, he looked up and realized that the backdrop had changed.

It was now a stormy night, and they were standing in a large stone corridor with tall, arching doors and equally fancy windows.

"Come," Hakuba commanded softly, holding out his hand.

Kaito raised an eyebrow at his host. "Sorry, Buddy, but we're not five years old anymore, so I'm not holding your hand. Maybe if you were scared, but, right now, it would just be too gay."

Prince Hakuba rolled his eyes and smirked again as he took both of Kaito's hands in his own. "Don't play hard-to-get, Dove."

Kaito gave a little jump and tore his hands away. "Dove? Hey, Hakuba, you know it's me, don't you? It's Kuroba, not your little dream boyfriend."

"Sometimes you talk too much," the lord of the castle chuckled, pinning his guest up against one of the massive wooden doors and leaning in for the kiss.

"Whoa. Hey. No. I let this happen once out of curiosity 'cause I was feeling all vulnerable and stuff, but I'm not about to make fooling around with you in your dreams a habit, Hakuba. I'm sorry. It was wrong, and that was my fault, but it was a one-time deal, so let go," Kaito argued as he struggled with his would-be lover.

"Kai, you can be such a tease sometimes," Hakuba chuckled, making another grab for the magician.

"Geez…this isn't a lucid dream, is it?" Kaito sighed, dodging his rival. "You're out cold, and I'm tangoing with your subconscious, aren't I?"

"Kaito, am I doing something wrong?" Hakuba softly inquired, a hurt look growing on his face.

"No. I am," the thief admitted sheepishly, patting his friend on the shoulder. "I shouldn't be in here. You're just fine, so keep doing what you're doing. Sweet dreams, Hakuba. I'll see you in the morning."

000

"Soooo…have any interesting dreams last night?" Kaito hummed, popping his head up over the back of the couch when he heard his host rousing.

"Good morning, Kuroba," Saguru replied with a smile, thinking that waking up to his crush's greetings wasn't a half-bad way of doing things. "I had a dream where Sherlock Holmes let me join him on an investigation. I also had a dream where I was a prince, but all the riches and power of the land couldn't gain me true happiness. It reminded me a little bit of Beauty and the Beast."

"I wasn't there, was I?" Kaito bit his lip while he waited in suspense (since he couldn't really hold his breath). "There wasn't a banquet or anything, was there?"

"You know, I really don't remember. I think there was a musical number, though." Saguru scrunched up his face in distaste. Musical dreams were always the worst. He really couldn't sing…at least, he didn't think so.

"Hm." Kaito made a little noise of interest as he lowered his head back down onto the couch where the other teen couldn't see him. He bit his lip again and got up the nerve to ask a question that had been poking at him for a while now, ever since he'd first seen the dream Kaito, actually. "Hey, Hakuba?"

"Yes?" the detective acknowledged the apparition as he straightened his bedding and set about picking out his outfit for the day.

"In your dreams, do you ever…you know…sleep with m—your boyfriend?"

"Wh?!" the Brit squealed. He then cleared his throat and tried again, "Excuse me. What?"

"I said," Kaito summoned his courage again.

"I heard what you said!" Hakuba croaked. There were more throat-clearing noises. "You…you want to know if my boyfriend and I ever…ever make love?"

"Y-Yeah?" It had just been a whim. A nagging whim, but a whim. He'd never imagined it would get so awkward, though, looking back, he should have expected as much.

Saguru sighed, cheeks turning the color of watermelon. "N-No. I mean, we kiss and cuddle and caress, but…making out in swimsuits is the closest we've ever come to making love," the detective confessed. "I'd like to…maybe eventually, but…even in my dreams I'm too self-conscious. …Besides…I wouldn't even know where to start."

"It's not that hard," Kaito chuckled, sitting up and hanging over the back of the couch.

Saguru blushed. "Speaking from…experience?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," the tease sniggered. "I thought gentlemen didn't kiss and tell."

"They d-don't," Hakuba snorted. "but that doesn't mean they can't ask and listen…. And as a matter of fact, I would like to know. Problem?" Saguru found it was a lot easier to stand up to Kuroba when he had his back turned to his rival.

"Easy," Kaito chuckled sheepishly. "I was just playing. Sorry, Hakuba. Anyway…sadly, no. I'm kinda married to my job, so I don't have a lot of time for dating. You know, looking back, maybe I should have taken some of Kid's fans up on their offers."

"You're not that kind of person," Saguru whispered.

"You don't know that." Kaito shrugged.

The detective deposited his clothes on his bed and turned to look his friend right in the eye. "No, but it's what I believe. Allow me to sound out of character for a minute, but sometimes you don't have to have evidence."

Kaito smirked. "You're right; I would never take advantage of someone like that…. And all I know about making love, I learned from picture books. You can have them, if you want. You've got more use for them than I do now that I'm worm bait, and who knows? They may give you some idea about where to start."

"N-No thank you, Kuroba," Hakuba stuttered, trying to find something to distract him. "That's very generous of you, but I'm afraid I can't have dirty magazines lying about; Baaya insists upon cleaning my room no matter how hard I endeavor to make her let me do it myself."

"You're a teenage boy." Kaito rolled his eyes. "Dirty magazines are a right, not a privilege. It's, like, practically illegal for her to keep you from looking at pictures of naked women."

"You forget that some of us are not as interested in looking at naked women as others," Saguru snickered.

Kaito blinked, his mouth forming a little "oh." He bit his lip and shrugged. "They make magazines with pictures of naked men too."

"I'm going to take a shower, Kuroba." Hakuba shook his head.

"Have fun!" the ghost returned teasingly.

"Kuroba, you don't have to say it like that; there's nothing fun about taking a bath," his host sighed.

"Thousands of Japanese people disagree with you." The instigator smirked.

"Oh, go bother Baaya." Saguru gave another sigh of resignation.

000

"Good morning, Bocchama," his caretaker greeted upon his arrival in the kitchen.

"Hey, Hakuba." Kuroba gave him a salute from where he sat on one of the stools around the island. "Did you have a nice shower?"

"Good morning, Baaya." The detective ignored the ghost. "How are you?"

"Fine, Saguru. Kuroba-kun and I were just chatting about England." Baaya set down a plate of Belgian waffles with a smile.

"Oh? And, pray, how were you doing that?" Saguru took a seat at the kitchen table, giving his stand-in mother and his friend a curious glance.

Baaya set a smaller plate with a little chunk of waffle down in front of Kaito and stuck two toothpicks straight up into it. "The usual way, though Kuroba-kun's part of the conversation must be tedious for him."

"Yep, but it's cool." Kaito shrugged as he moved a little five yen coin around a sheet of paper with his finger. "Could you tell her to give me a one yen coin instead, Hakuba? It'd be easier for me, since it's lighter."

Saguru blinked, taking a better look at the piece of paper. It had hiragana and katakana symbols along with what appeared to be common phrases written on it. "It's like a Ouija board."

"Never mind. I'll ask her myself," Kaito sighed, moving around the coin. "Hey, Baaya, could I have one yen?"

"Of course, Dear." The woman of the house produced a light, one yen piece from her pocket after she finished reading. "Enjoy the waffle."

Kaito moved the new coin to the prewritten phrase, "Thank you!"

"How long have you two been conversing?" Saguru asked as he started his breakfast.

"A few days after I moved in." Kaito shrugged.

It looked like he was exerting a great amount of effort to try to pick up his little scrap of waffle.

"I think I saw it move a bit." Baaya tried to be encouraging.

Kaito worked at it through most of breakfast, but he made little progress.

"You'll get it next time, Sweetheart," Baaya assured.

Kaito sighed, moving his one yen piece back to, "Thank you".

"Hey, Hakuba?" the houseguest called, lifting his head off of the countertop.

"Yes, Kuroba?" Saguru paused, lowering his fork.

"I just realized something. You know those tapes that were going to prove that Snake offed me?"

"Yes?"

"They're not going to show Kuroba Kaito getting murdered; they're going to show the Kaitou Kid," the spirit informed him softly.

Saguru blinked twice. "That's right. You took off on your glider as Kid, and then Snake shot you down. You were poisoned and killed as Kid, but Kuroba Kaito's body was the one that turned up in the bay." He set his fork down and quickly got to his feet. He remembered at the last minute to throw a "Breakfast was delicious, Baaya! Thank you!" over his shoulder before darting up the stairs and rushing to pull up files on his laptop.

Kuroba spelled out a similar message on his make-shift Ouija board before following.

"I knew there was something strange about it," the detective was muttering to himself. "His pants didn't have a bullet hole, and there wasn't nearly enough blood on the clothes. The clothes must have been changed post mortem, but why?"

He turned to Kaito and sighed. "You don't happen to remember him changing your clothes, do you?"

"Ya know, I'm really glad that I don't remember; it would only make that night even more traumatic. I mean, I was already murdered and thrown into the bay with those…those…f-f-f—"

"—Finny things?" Hakuba suggested, smiling fondly at the object of his affections.

"Yeah." Kaito shivered, taking a seat on the couch. "F-Finny things."

The teenage sleuth looked back at his files and sighed. "So…I suppose we could try to get footage from the roof cameras and see if the ones inside the building have anything we can use. Frankly, I think your syndicate would be smart enough to hack the ones inside the building if they were going to be taking a body out for disposal that way, but we may be able to get something from traffic cams and other security cameras lining the route from the building to the bay where he…dumped you."

Both boys jumped at the sound of the pencil in Hakuba's hand snapping.

Saguru took a deep breath and tried to get his blinding rage under wraps. He so wanted to get this guy and that bloody organization.

"We may even be able to get plate numbers and track down the vehicle. Even if it turns out to be stolen, we could possibly see if we could track it back to their hideout or at least tack another crime onto their rap sheet."

He paused before shutting his computer and turning to face his friend. "Kuroba…we have to go see your mother. Once the police see the concrete proof that you're Kid, they'll be all over her, asking questions, tearing your house apart…we have to warn her before going any further with the investigation."

Kaito nodded, getting to his feet. "Just warning you ahead of time, she's stubborn. Dad was actually pretty laid back; I got all of my personality from her."

"Oh, joy," Saguru sighed, grabbing his jacket and informing Baaya before heading out.

…

($_$)

Mikau: Looking back, that's a lot of stairs to go up in that amount of time. I guess Kaito only thinks Hakuba's slow because the ghost doesn't have to breathe. Anyway, today there was a celebration lunch at my church where my friend volunteered me to speak about this six-week study we had been doing. I was really nervous, but everyone said I'd done a really good job afterwards. I'm just glad I didn't stutter; I don't consider myself a public speaker, but other people seem to. I'm kind of glad that he encouraged me to do it, though. On the downside, there weren't a lot of vegetarian-friendly options at the lunch, so I had to eat green beans. I really hate green beans, but I ate them without complaining. Geez, I kind of sound like a little kid, don't I? Well, anyway, thanks for reading, and I'd love to hear what you thought about the chapter/story thus far. Take care, guys!