Hey people! *ducks under a rooten fruit* I know I'm the person you hate right now, and I can respect and understand why. Well, if you want hear the reason why I haven't updated as of late, then PM me. I don't feel like typing all my misfortunes onto the internet for all the world to see. Anyway, here is the next chapter!
So, read, love, review, and repeat. We all know the prodecure.

I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING PERTAINING TO NARUTO. ALL ITEMS BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS, SUCH AS KISHIMOTO-TEME-SAN.

Honest Curse: SeanStyle
Chapter 5

Naruto groaned as his alarm clock began blaring. He glared at; its numbers showed him it was 5:00 in the morning. He groaned again and reluctantly crawled from his bed. Getting his shower and eating breakfast, all he could think about was his talk with Iruka-sensei. He found himself moving slower than normal; he was dreading this talk for some reason. By the time Naruto left his apartment, it was 5:45. He moved through the silent village more slowly than he usually did, so by the time he actually got to the Academy, it was a few minutes after six. Realizing how much time, he had wasted, Naruto scoffed at himself and made his way to the door of his old classroom.

Naruto knocked on the door, simultaneously hoping he'd get an answer and afraid he would. "Come in," said a voice form the other side of the door. Naruto immediately recognized it as Iruka-sensei. Groaning to himself, Naruto opened the door.

"Hey Iruka-sensei," Naruto said. Iruka Umino, the scarred Chunin instructor Naruto had come to view as a father figure of sorts, looked up and grinned at his favorite blond student.

"Oh, hey Naruto, what's up?" he said. Naruto sat down, then stood up, sat down in a different spot, got back up, paced, and then sat down on a corner of Iruka's desk. Iruka watched all of this, a confused look on his face. "Naruto?" he asked with a bit of worry.

Naruto took a deep breath and sat down. "Iruka-sensei, I have a question to ask you…it's really personal…" he trailed off, his eyes full of worry and embarrassment; As well as a blush to rival a mild-Hinata blush.

In Iruka's head however they were a few alarms going off. "He couldn't, it's just impossible he was supposed to have this in his fourth year of the Academy." He dismissed those thought as just that, an impossibility. He put a smile on to replace the look of shock and mild fear that was well hidden, but just in case. "Of course Naruto. You can talk to me about anything. You have nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Really," Naruto asked, not entirely sure, looking as timid as everyone lavender eyed princess.

The scarred Journeyman Shinobi simply nodded with an assuring smile. "It's okay Naruto."

Naruto visibly relaxed, shoulders sagged a bit, and breathe of relief. "Well, I keep having these dreams…" he trailed off.

"What are these dreams about Naruto?" he asked in a stern, but concerned tone. "If the nightmares came back, I'll take him to Inoichi. If he finds a genjutsu anywhere, I'll kill the man who did it myself," Iruka thought menacingly.

"Well, it's about me and Hinata…" Naruto began.

"Oh no…" Iruka thought.

"We were doing things…"

"It cannot be…"

"But we were both…"

"No…!"

"…naked." Naruto finished. With that Iruka promptly did the manly, heroic thing to do: he fainted, badly. Naruto promptly did the sensible thing and panicked. He ran in circles for three minutes before he got an idea.

"GRANNY TSUNADE!" he yelled as a battle cry, as he hopped rooftop to rooftop towards the Hokage Tower. He burst in though the doors and ran inside, along with the Shadow Clones carrying the poor Chunin Instructor. He ran up the stairs, the clones barely keeping up with his pace and nearly dropping Iruka. He burst into the Hokage's office and started talking at a pace that the Raikage would be jealous of.

"GrannyTsunadehelpIruka-senseifaintedPleaseGrannyhelp."

The yell of "NARUTO!" from both the Sannin and the Hokage were what snapped him out of it. Both Tsunade and Hiruzen looked ticked off and behind them were several clan heads and others that he did not know. He immediately recognized the stern face of Hiashi Hyuga and the worried Inoichi Yamanaka. He also recognized the shocked face of Akiri Haruno, Head of the Cornucopia Merchant's Guild. She had the bubblegum hair and emerald eyes of her daughter. She was skinny and barely any fat on her body except for the bare minimum. There were also the old farts Homura and Koharu that called themselves the Hokage's Advisors. There was also a man with tanned skin, many scars and his entire left arm was bandaged and in a sling. He decided to speak first.

"What is the Demon…" he was cut off by a glare and potent killing intent that made a civilian faint. "The Uzumaki here for?" he said with hatred and disgust as if his name left a bad taste in his mouth.

"Danzo, do not patronize Naruto or I'll send you to Ibiki AND Anko and tell them to have fun," the old Hokage said without even looking at the old war hawk. Everyone in the room visibly paled except for Tsunade (who was smirking), Hiashi who kept his stern face but had an invisible hint of fear in his eyes, the Third Fire Shadow himself, Koharu, Homura, and the man who received the threat. He simply grunted in response to signal he'll back off.

"Sooner or later, I'll have the fox as my greatest tool. Just a matter of time," thought the war hawk, mentally not giving an inch to the Hokage.

"Naruto tell me what happened to Iruka," said the Hokage with a look of conviction, but a grandfatherly tone.

"Well I was telling him about these dreams I was having," Naurto said. All the men in the room visibly paled at the statement, even Danzo. All the women just had a confused look.

"What were these dreams about, Naruto?" the old man said with a shaken voice.

"Well they were of me and my girlfriend, and we were doing things…" he didn't even have a chance to finish as all the men in the room fainted, except for Danzo and Hiruzen, both of whom were struggling to maintain consciousness. The women, on the other hand were confused, and some were three were looking angry, Akiri Haruno, Tsunade, and Tsume Inuzuka.

"I don't care personally care for the brat, but demon or not, he should at least have The Talk," thought the Guild Leader.

"The pup should get the education he needs, what have those idiots at the Academy done?" thought the feral woman.

"The kid is going to get Sexual Education whether he likes it or not. He's my godson for God's sake!" thought the Slug Sannin. As an after thought she added, "And he's NOT going to get it from his godfather."

As she thought that all those still conscious heard a sneeze from outside the window. They turned and saw a man with spiky, long white hair. He was wearing a chain mail shirt under a green shirt beneath a long red vest. He had a large scroll attached to the vest and wore a strange looking forehead protector. It was a bit lumpy, appeared to have no cloth under it, and had the kanji for "Oil" in black on it. It also had two little horns that were barely visible. He had two red lines under his eyes similar to the Inuzukas but was smaller, and closer to his eyes.

"So Jiraiya, you finally decide to grace us with your presence," said Tsunade with contempt and a glare. "How long were you going to be?"

The man now identified as Jiraiya just grinned. "So Tsunade, you finally want to confess your love for the Gallant Toad Sage, the mighty Jiraiya?" he said as he stepped into the office through the window.

Naruto's first impression of this guy: "He's weird," with a sweat drop as he put Iruka on the couch in the office, the poor man still unconscious.

"So how are you Tsunade?" he asked with a cheeky grin. Tsunade just did a combo of a glare and deadpan look.

"We were just discussing politics as you see," waving around the room. The Toad Sage looked around and dropped his mask and donned his serious face.

"Something is not right here," he thought. "All of the clan heads, civilians, and council members have all fainted, except the females," looking at Akiri, Tsunade, and Tsume, "Sensei and Danzo are barely gripping on consciousness. Then there's this kid that kinda looks like…" his eyes visibly widened. The boy had spiky blonde hair, and deep sapphire eyes. He looked deeper in his eyes and saw a fire that only burned with the kind of intensity that only one person he knew could even muster. "…Minato and Kushina."

Naruto on the other hand was looking directly in the eyes of the tall man before him. They looked with the analytical intensity that only four people he knew or saw and they were all in this room! Those were the Old Man, Granny Tsunade, Danzo, and the man that looked like Shikamaru. He picked him up and slammed him against the wall next to the pictures of the previous Hokages.

Jiraiya had to be sure he looked from him to the last picture on the wall, the Fourth Hokage, back to the boy. He dropped the boy abruptly and went to round on the aged Hokage.

Naruto was dropped down and glared at the Sage. He looked at the picture he thought he was being compared to. It was the Fourth Hokage, under it was a plaque. It said:

The Fourth Hokage
Minato Namikaze
The Yellow Flash of the Hidden Leaf Village

He looked on to the Old Man and Jiraiya.

"Is he the one?" Jiraiya asked his sensei. Both Tsunade and Hiruzen nodded. "The Orange that was mixed from the Red and Yellow?" he asked in code. His sensei looked him straight in the eyes. He nodded.

Orange? Red? Yellow? Were they talking about his clothes? Naruto was simply lost and irritated. "I try to talk with Iruka-sensei and I get into this kind of mess again; why do these things happen to me?" he asked the heavens.

"ANBU! Escort Danzo out of here! Along with the rest of the council members!" yelled the Sarutobi. Three ANBU Black Ops shinobi appeared and aided Danzo to his feet and lead the pale man outside the office; four more appeared to wake up the rest of the council and lead them out. One of them pointed to Iruka on the couch and the Hokage nodded. The ANBU carried Iruka away still passed out. All that was left in the room was Akiri, Tsume, Tsunade, Jiraiya, the Hokage, and Naruto.

"I thought I said all council members," said the Professor, Hiruzen Sarutobi, who was glaring at the pinkette and the brunette.

Akiri and Tsume stood their ground. In response, the Hokage released a bit of Killing Intent. Akiri shivered under it but held her ground, eyes locked with the Hokage.

"I'm making sure the brat gets his education. He never bothered me so I'm returning the favor," Akiri said. It was true that she never did anything to harm Naruto, but she never helped him either.

"I just want to make sure the pup doesn't do anything stupid when he's older," Tsume shrugged. She would say different, but Akiri would probably blab with the civilian half of the council and cause a big mess for the Inuzuka Clan.

"I assure you that everything will be fine. We have the best Medical Shinobi in the known world here with us," said Jiraiya gesturing to Tsunade.

Tsume nodded and started to walk out, but when Akiri was still she pulled on her hair.

"OW! THAT HURTS! LEMME GO! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES TO GET MY HAIR DONE LIKE THIS! OW!" yelled Akiri as Tsume pulled her pink locks. Meanwhile, Tsume was in tears and walking away.

"Just like her daughter," thought the feral Clan Head. Enhanced hearing will make loud noises hurt, especially when on par with a dog. As soon as she left, the Hokage flashed through hand seals like a blur and finally stopped on the Ram sign. Red seals flashed around the room, went over through the windows and walls, all with the kanji for "Silence", "Security", or "Blindness."

"Sometimes I wonder if the Harunos have a kenkei genkai for using sound waves," if the Hokage was joking, no one could tell. "Now on to more important matters. "Yes, Jiraiya he is their son."

Naruto's eyes widened at that and he felt his eyes brim with tears. He lunged at his grandfather figure only to be blocked by the Slug Sannin.

"You said you never knew my parents! Why did you lie to me Old Man! WHY?" Naruto was shaking with uncontrolled rage and hurt that Tsunade was having trouble holding him.

The God of Shinobi had the decency to look down in shame. "I'm sorry, Naruto. I did it for your own protection. If anyone knew whose son you are many people would come after you, attempting to kill you for revenge. The entire Village Hidden among the Stones has a grudge against your father!" he said with tears in his eyes.

Naruto looked straight in to the Hokage's eyes. He could tell that he was truly sorry for what he did. But he always had doubts about everyone. "If you're truly sorry, at least tell me who my parents are," he stated with conviction.

The Hokage nodded and pulled out two files. "Their names were Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki. The Yellow Flash and the Red-Hot Habanero of the Leaf. He looked and saw a woman with crimson hair that was waist length. Intelligent and loving gray eyes that were sharper than any blade. The man of the left was…

"THE FOURTH HOKAGE?" Naruto shouted in shock. "He reached across the desk and pulled the Third Hokage toward him by his robe and looked him straight in the eye. "Old Man, I'm warning you right now. If this is some kind of a joke that you and the two geezers behind me have all set up; no one would be able to find a trace of you or them with the best tracking jutsu in the world for centuries."

The Hokage actually widened his eyes in shock, as did the Sannin behind him. He started to sweat a little.

"Naruto's not joking. He'd really do that. I wouldn't even be able to fight him when he's determined like this, "I thought the aged Hokage.

"Just like his mother," thought Tsunade.

"The kid wouldn't do it would he?" were Jiraiya's thoughts.

"They are your parents, kid. I was Minato's sensei," spoke up Jiraiya. "In fact, I'm your godfather."

Naruto looked at Tsunade and his grandfather figure. "And you knew?" Naruto asked, shell shocked.

Naruto looked again at the pictures, he looked deep at them. He started to see the similarities. Lord Fourth's hair and eye color, Kushina's face and eyes.

"I believe you," Naruto finally stated after moments of silence. Lord Third smiled, only to get punched in the face. Giving him a black eye and knocked out of his chair. "That's for lying to me," he said looking down at the Old Man. Jiraiya were visibly shocked. Too focused on what happened to their former sensei that they didn't notice the Shadow Clones behind them. One kicked Jiraiya in between the legs and two others went behind Tsunade: one leg swept and the other punched her, breaking her nose. "And that's for not being here for me." He said to his godparents. He helped them up with the help of his clones with a smile that could melt hearts. They got up and were helped to the couches and chairs.

"I guess we deserve that," said the Hokage. Tsunade nodded and Jiraiya just groaned.

"Kid, remind me not to lie to you," said the Toad Sage. "Tsunade, please," he asked, holding his kicked manhood.

Tsunade simply nodded and said, "Alright, but your last." Her hands started to glow green and put them up to her nose to repair it. After two minutes her nose was good as new. She walked over to Hiruzen and started to heal his eye.

Naruto decided to break the silence. "So, why did you guys not be here for me," he asked sincerely.

"I run the spy network for the Village, which means I have to travel a lot. I just wouldn't be able to take care of you," Jiraiya said with a slightly pained look. Naruto nodded in understanding.

"What your excuse, Granny?" Our favorite blond asked Tsunade.

Tsunade stiffened. She really thought she wouldn't have to say, it but everyone has to come out of the closet eventually. "I was so grief stricken by Minato's and Kushina deaths that I ran out of the village," she said pained. Naruto stood there with his head bowed so that they couldn't see his eyes. "Naruto?" she asked. He looked and instantly she regretted asking. His eyes were filled with tears unshed. Those deep, once bright eyes were now dark and filled with a cold fusion of rage, hurt, and loneliness. The temperature dropped instantly to the point where Hiruzen and Jiraiya could see their breath. The cold had leaked out of the office and into the rest of the tower and the immediate area around it. The shinobi just shrugged and thought it was more politics and went about their business. The ANBU that were stationed in the tower and to guard their Hokage were on the ready.

"Naruto…" she said with worry filled in her amber eyes. Their eyes locked and Tsunade nearly shivered under the intensity of his gaze. They kept them locked in a silent staring contest. After a few seconds Naruto broke down and started crying, immediately Tsunade wrapped her arms around him and started rocking him,

"If he wasn't crying, I'd be jealous of the kid right about now," he thought a bit perversely at looking Naruto crying into Tsunade's chest and shoulders.

"Oh, Naruto…" thought the old Hokage looking at his surrogate grandson.

When Naruto stopped crying he look into the face of the woman whom he was crying on. Her honey colored eyes were filled with unshed tears. "I promise, Naruto, I'll always be here for you for now on," she said with love. She then felt a pulse of chakra flow through her. She felt it was from Naruto. "Uh, Naruto?"

He looked up and asked innocently, "What is it Granny Tsunade?"

Jiraiya snickered at "Granny Tsunade."

A ticked-off mark appeared over Tsunade's head. "Naruto first, castrating Jiraiya later," she thought. "Did you feel a pulse of chakra just now?"

Naruto thought about it a moment. "Yea, I did. It happened when you made that…" his eyes went wide, "promise."

"It would appear that your Bloodline has a weapon use to it. Any promise that is made to you probably can't be broken either," said the Hokage, then added, "That would explain why I had to buy you so much ramen on your birthdays." Naruto just gave a foxy and cheeky grin.

"Wait he has a kenkei genkai? The only Bloodline his parents had were the Uzumaki Regeneration," said Jiraiya.

"Minato's and Kushina's DNA mixed in this way. Yamonoko is the name of his Bloodline. It seems to revolve around promises. I would test it, but I wouldn't want the Council to get wind of this and try to make Naruto have a harem," Hiruzen said.

"Why would the kid NOT want a harem?" the Toad Sage asked with appall and shock clearly evident in his voice.

"Because he isn't a pervert like you Jiraiya!" Tsunade said, holding Naruto close to her and as far from Jiraiya as possible.

"I'm not pervert," he said then he put on a face that look like he was either really happy with something, or going to rape someone. "I'm a big one," wiggling his fingers.

Tsunade was about to attack with a chakra-enhanced, no bars hold monster punch. But Hiruzen stuck his arm to defend the Super Pervert. "As much as I think he deserves it," Tsunade just grinned like the cat-that-ate-the-canary and Jiraiya's jaw hit the floor so hard that it nearly broke one of the security seals on the floor. "If he's hurt he cannot train Naruto and make up for all thirteen years he was gone," Sarutobi said with a grin and evil look in his eye. Tsunade and Jiraiya swapped faces for a moment then went to an identical grin for Tsunade, and a fond smile for Jiraiya. "And your helping him Tsunade," the old monkey summoner finished.

"So, I get training from the best ninja in the Leaf?" asked the young blonde. The boy's grandfather figure simply nodded. He shot his fist in the air, "Hell yeah! With this I'll definitely become Hokage! Believe it!" he yelled.

The Sannin and Kage watched this with a fond smile, "He's definitely Kushina's kid."

"Even they are a perv and a drunk," he said. The Sannin just twitched at this and had a flash of an evil grin when they looked at one another, only noticed by the aged man in the room older than them. "Just wait for your training kid."

"Don't you have to meet your team, Naruto?" said Hiruzen. Naruto looked shocked and forgot about his team meeting. "Oh, I gotta go. See ya later Old. Man Bye, Granny! Later, Pervy Sage!" he called as he was running out the room as fast as his stubby little legs can carry him.

"Pervy Sage?" Jiraiya whimpered with anime tears. "If the kid says that while I'm researching, I'll be found out!"

"This training will be more fun than I thought," said Tsunade watching her godson leave.

"Tsunade, you forgot to heal me," Jiraiya groaned, finally remember he got an uber kick to the testicles.

"I know," said the blonde with an evil grin that Jiraiya couldn't see.

Oh, poor Jiraiya. Will he ever learn? Break your promises, and they'll bite (or should I say kick) you twice as hard as when you broke them. And will Naruto ever get paradoxical, blessing and curse known as The Talk? And what of the prank? Who will he prank? What will he do?

Seriously, though. If any of you have any ideas for the prank. PM me, not a review. That would kinda spoil it for the future readers. Anyway, this has been Spyrofan777, Sean, with your Fanfiction entertainment!

REVIEW! :D