CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
When I woke the next morning, it was the first time since the attack that I was actually able to get up to use the bathroom. A nurse held onto my arm and accompanied me the few yards down the corridor to the restrooms while I clutched the back of my gown closed. Then she left me in there with my bag of toiletries, saying she would be back in fifteen minutes, but I could punch the alarm button in one of the stalls if I needed help.
I used the toilet first and then moved to the sinks and looked at myself in the mirror. It was the first time I'd seen myself since I'd been getting ready to go to the Stonewall with Paul and I grimaced at the face looking back at me. I had lost some weight, my eyes were ringed with purple shadows and I had a decent amount of beard, although I'd seen and felt the latter a few times. The bandages which had been wrapped around my head were gone, but when I turned this way and that to see the sides and back of my head, I noticed a small dressing covering the wound and a stubbly area surrounding it where my head had clearly been shaved for the operation. The hair had grown back about as much as that on my face and I cringed, surprised that no one had commented. Sarah never held back about things like that, but perhaps Leah had warned her not to say anything. I didn't have shaving equipment with me so there wasn't much I could do about the beard and I would certainly need to do something about my hair; I was going to look ridiculous when the dressing came off.
I was alone in the room and I slipped the top part of the gown off and secured it around my waist, then took my time washing my face and upper body and cleaning my teeth. I longed to take a shower, but I was going to have to wait to get home to do that. By the time I returned to my bed, I felt much better and after the less than pleasant hospital breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast, I decided to call Paul and ask him to bring me something decent to eat. I didn't expect to see Leah and Sarah that day as they would be spending it with Jasper.
It was then that I noticed the rucksack under one of the chairs; the rucksack which Paul had brought with him the previous evening. I had forgotten about it at the time and now I reached down and grabbed it, assuming he must have brought something for me and omitted to tell me. Inside I found some of my clothes - cargo pants, two shirts, socks, underwear and a pair of sneakers and I grinned happily over his thoughtfulness as I removed the hated hospital gown and dressed, then stretched out on top of the bed covers. I couldn't wait to get home and at least be in my own place, even if I had to rest for a while longer. I called Paul then and when he answered I could hear the sounds of the city in the background.
"I'm on my way," he said. "Just stopped off in Einstein's to grab us some breakfast."
"Did you by any chance get smoked salmon and cream cheese?" I asked hopefully.
"Yup, one of them is."
"Awesome. Could you do me one more favour please?"
"Anything."
"Bring me a shaver. I look like a God damned bear," I said, immediately hearing a guffaw of laughter.
"I noticed," he chuckled. "I'll pick one up on the way; be with you in about twenty minutes."
While I waited, a nurse came in to check on me and to change the dressing on my head, telling me that the wound was healing well and that it would only need to remain covered for the rest of that day. The stitches could come out probably by the end of the week.
Paul arrived then and I tucked into two of the bagels he brought before he opened up the other small bag he had with him and took out a brand new multi-function shaver and clipper.
"You didn't have to do that," I protested. "Some cheap disposable razors would have done."
"No they wouldn't; I figured you'd want to do something about your hair. When that dressing comes off, you're gonna look like a monk," Paul smirked.
"Fuck off."
He just grinned wider. "Want some help?"
"You don't have to do that."
"Stop saying that. Isn't this what people do when they're in relationships? Take care of each other?"
"Yeah. Thank you, Paul." I stopped protesting and sat up straight while he unpacked the shaver and fitted the clipper attachment.
"You want me to cut it all off so it's stubble, like the part the doc shaved?" he asked.
"Yes, please."
"I'm no hairdresser, but I'll try not to cut your ears off."
"Gee, thanks."
I stayed motionless, watching my hair falling onto the bed covers and down my neck as Paul omitted to wrap a towel around me. The nurses wouldn't be impressed, I thought, but at least he did a reasonable job. When I looked in the small mirror he produced, my head had an even covering of black stubble and I appeared fairly normal again. He continued grooming me by changing the clipper attachment and shaving my face, despite my protest that I could manage that part myself.
"The nurses will love you," I grimaced, when he shook a cloud of hair and beard onto the floor.
"So long as you do, I don't care what they think." He sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned towards me. "Gonna kiss me now? You were too eager to get at the food when I arrived."
"I pity the patients in here who don't have loved ones bringing them food; it's a wonder they don't starve to death." I wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him closer. "I can't wait to get home."
Our lips met and his arms slid around me, his tongue thrusting into my eager mouth and sending blood rushing to my groin. I sank back against the pillows and Paul shifted his position, joining me on the narrow bed and virtually lying on top of me, one thigh pressed between mine. He moved his hips and his clothed erection nudged my own, making me moan into his mouth and break the kiss with a gasp.
"God, Paul," I groaned. "Don't do this to me here."
"My right hand didn't do much more than take the edge off last night," he breathed. His hips rocked against me, rubbing our cocks together.
"No one will be coming in for a while," I said. "One of the nurses checked on me before you arrived."
"Just use your hand." He pulled off of me and sat up, unfastening his jeans quickly and freeing himself. As usual he had no underwear on and he stroked himself slowly for a moment before I pushed his hand away and grasped him myself.
"Stand up," I said. "I want you in my mouth."
"You sure that's not gonna make your head spin?"
"You always make my head spin, Paul," I grinned. "I want to. Anyway, how am I going to explain why there's cum all over the bed otherwise?"
Chuckling, he got to his feet and stood close to the edge of the bed and I slid down until I was in a suitable position to take him in my mouth.
"Don't move too much, I'll do that," he said.
I caressed him for a moment, stroking with a light touch, teasing him with the tip of my tongue before I drew more of him into my mouth and moved my hand to his balls, squeezing and stroking while he thrust himself carefully back and forth, trying not to make me move too much while his thighs trembled with the effort of holding back. When he came, his groan was loud enough to be heard outside the room, but no one looked in and he sat down again, breathless and bright-eyed. Grimacing, I adjusted my pants, but I was determined to wait until I got home so we could take our time with each other.
"I'm ok," I insisted when Paul offered to return the favour.
"You're rock hard."
"They're probably gonna let me out tonight and if not then, in the morning. I just want to be in my own bed, completely naked, so you can put your hands and your tongue and your cock anywhere you like."
"Fuck," Paul muttered. "They better let you go home today or I'm gonna go crazy."
"At least you didn't have to worry about getting caught last night."
We changed the subject quickly then and I was relieved when my erection subsided. Paul stayed with me until lunchtime before heading out to find food for us. He brought back pasta salad and then left me alone, deciding to spend the afternoon looking into avenues for starting a business. I lay on the bed listening to the goings on outside my room until I received a surprise visit from Embry, who was free from work for the afternoon.
"I'm sorry I haven't been in before," I said. "I mean, I have, but you were out of it. How are you feeling?"
"Ok, just desperate to get out of here. They might release me later today, otherwise tomorrow. How's things with you?"
"Marie's pregnant!" he exclaimed, suddenly beaming from ear to ear. "It's really early days, like three weeks or something, but we're hoping."
"That's fantastic news, congratulations!" I grabbed his hand and pumped it vigorously, realising that I had recovered more of my strength much quicker than I'd expected. "Do you want a boy or a girl?"
"What do you think? A boy! I'm gonna teach him baseball; he'll be the next star of the Mets."
"What if you get a girl?"
"She'll be a little star anyway. So, I've been reading about what happened in the papers. I can't believe they even arrested Paul, that's just bullshit. You must be relieved that witness came forward."
"There were two," I told him. "The kid, Mike, who comes to the gym and another older guy. Well, he wasn't there the night we were attacked, but one of the same guys hurt him another time. Any charges against Paul will be dropped now. We're probably gonna have to go to court to testify against the guys though."
"Hope they lock them up and throw away the key," Embry grunted.
"Me too."
"How's your Dad dealing with this? Leah told Marie he's staying with them."
"He's not impressed. I told him what happened and that Paul's moving in with me. He hasn't been to see me since, but Leah says he's sick...he has cancer, so...I'm hoping we're going to be able to fix things. I'm not holding my breath; it'd be just like him to walk away again, but he's still here in New York, so we'll see."
"I'm sorry he's sick," Embry said. "Is it bad?"
"He has about a year."
"Shit."
"Yeah." Although it hadn't been in the forefront of my mind since Leah told me, it had constantly been there worrying me and I hoped that somehow he would come around and stay in New York. Even though he hated what I was and seemed determined to avoid the issue, the thought of him returning to Washington alone to die was heartbreaking.
Embry stayed an hour and after he left I was visited by my doctor. He checked me over thoroughly and asked me again to confirm that I wouldn't be alone when I went home.
"My partner, Paul, is living at my place," I said. "He'll be there all the time for the moment. I have a couple of friends to call on as well, who work in my gym beneath the apartment."
"Alright, then there's no reason why you can't go home later today," the doctor said, to my intense relief. "Your wound is healing well and there appear to have been no after effects from either the attack or the surgery. You'll need to take things very easy; absolutely no working, no driving, nothing at all physical for a while."
"Does that include...? Can I...?" I reminded myself that he was a doctor and nothing I could say was going to shock him. "Can I have sex?" I blurted.
"As long as it's not too...vigorous, then it shouldn't do any harm," the doctor responded with a small smile.
I was left alone for a while then and I constantly glanced at the clock, watching the time creep by and longing to be released. Five o'clock came and the hospital food began to do the rounds again, which I refused as usual, certain Paul would be coming back before long, either with something more pleasant, or to take me home. When the door opened thirty minutes later I looked up eagerly, expecting it to be him, but I was surprised by the appearance of my Dad.
"Jacob," he greeted.
"Dad. Come in."
He closed the door and came to sit in one of the chairs beside the bed. "We have some things to talk about," he said.
"Yeah, we do."
"Leah tells me they're letting you out of here soon."
"Later today, I think," I confirmed.
"You'll be needing some help for a while."
"I have help, remember? Paul's at my apartment," I reminded him.
"Hmm."
"Look, Dad, I don't expect you to suddenly accept everything, but I hope you'll at least try. This is who I am; who I've always been. If Leah, my wife who I hurt pretty badly, can still support me and try to understand then you can too. Or do you really want to walk away from me? Life's too short...isn't it?"
He grimaced slightly and let out a sigh. "Leah told you, didn't she?"
"Of course she told me. Why didn't you?"
"I would have, when you got out of here."
"I meant before. You knew before you left New York, right?"
"Yes. You know the way I am, Jacob. I thought I could deal with it on my own. Seemed to be going ok too. I was in remission, but it didn't last as long as I hoped."
"So what now? Are you staying in the city?"
"I thought I'd go home. My doctor's there..."
"There are doctors here. I'd rather have you here, in my life and Sarah's for as long as possible. That depends on you, though, doesn't it?"
"I don't want us to fight about this again. I've been thinking about it the last few days. I haven't always been the best father to you. I've seen how you are with Sarah and I suppose in a way, I think you're doing a better job. Makes me feel like in some ways I failed you."
"You didn't fail me," I said at once, surprised. "You just have different ideas about things sometimes."
"Would you have married Leah if I hadn't pushed you?"
"I don't know. We would have decided that together, but I loved her and I would have supported her and taken care of Sarah, whatever else happened. I don't regret any of that; we've had ten good years together. I didn't realise until a couple of years into it that I still wanted...guys. Then I carried on pushing it aside as much as I could; I wanted to be a good husband and father more than I wanted to follow a different path."
"So why now?"
"I fell in love and I realised I wasn't being fair on anyone - Leah and Sarah, but also myself. Leah accepted it eventually and we're growing to be good friends again. She seems to be moving on too."
"Hmm...that Whitlock character."
"Don't you like Jasper?" I asked.
"He's alright, I suppose; it's just strange seeing her with some other guy."
"Well, it's early days. They're kind of having a first date today."
"Have you met him?" Dad asked.
"Yes, a couple of times. He's a decent guy and a good father himself. Brought up his little girl on his own and she and Sarah are best friends. I hope it works; Leah deserves someone who's going to treat her well and I know he will."
Dad shook his head. "Well, I suppose you both know what you're doing."
"What does that mean exactly?"
"It means...you're too old for me to be interfering in your life, Jacob. Look where it got me before. Whether you agreed with Leah or not, you were going to stand by her and that's only right. It's not easy to admit you've been wrong, but I know in some ways I have been."
"It's in the past," I said, wondering if I could dare to hope that he might eventually accept me too.
"I might have a hard time getting used to...the rest of it. You know what my views are and it's going to be hard to change them at this point in my life."
"I guess you have to figure out what's most important," I said. "All I'm asking is that you try, and that you don't condemn me. I'm doing what makes me happy. I'm not expecting you to come around for dinner and play happy families with me and Paul, but..."
"I'll do the best I can," he interrupted. "Give me some time, ok?"
I nodded, knowing it was the best I was going to get at that moment. "You're staying then?"
"I'd like to, but I can't keep imposing on Leah. Besides, this thing eating me is going to start taking its toll eventually; she has enough on her plate without me needing help."
"I can find you a place to live. There are care facilities here too, in case you should need that later."
"I have some money set aside," Dad said. "You wouldn't need to worry about that part of it."
"I wish you'd told me," I repeated. "We should have been there for you when you were having the treatment; when you were worrying about it. I hate thinking about you not having anybody..."
"That was my choice. Don't think that way; I was alright and I'm alright now. I'd like to make the most of the time I've got; make sure Sarah gets to see her Grandpa enjoy himself for a while."
"I'll start looking for a place for you as soon as I get out of here," I promised. "Will you need to go back to Forks for any reason?"
"No. I rented a house with furniture and I brought most of my clothes and things with me. There are some personal items there, but I can have them sent."
"That's good. You'll be ok staying with Leah a bit longer until we find somewhere, won't you?"
"Fine, so long as she can put up with me."
The door opened suddenly and I glanced up as Paul halted uncertainly in the doorway. Dad looked around and I noticed the beginning of a grimace before he schooled his face into a neutral expression.
"I'll come back," Paul said.
"Stay," I told him.
"I'm done here." Dad got to his feet and rounded the end of the bed, hovering between it and the door.
"I should at least introduce you." I thought it was worth a try as Paul took a step forward and let the door partly close behind him. "Paul, this is my Dad, Billy. Dad, this is Paul Lahote."
I watched as Paul offered Dad his hand. "Good to meet you, Mr Black."
I half expected Dad to ignore the hand and make for the door as quickly as he could, but he stood still and glanced over at me again, a somewhat resigned expression on his face. Paul's hand continued to hover in front of him and after a moment he took it in the briefest handshake I'd ever seen.
"Paul," he grunted and then quickly left.
"Well, that went slightly better than I expected," I said wryly. "At least he pretended to shake hands."
"What did he say to you?" Paul asked.
"That he'd try; he doesn't want bad feeling between us but he's set in his ways and so on. We'll see. He's gonna stay in New York so hopefully he'll come around eventually. Like I said to him, I don't expect him to come over and play happy families with us, so long as he'll make an effort to accept me."
Paul nodded. "So when are they letting you go?"
"I'm still waiting for the doc to come see me. They said later today, but it's what...five-thirty now?"
"They're still taking the meals to everyone. I didn't bring you anything this time, I'm sorry, I thought you'd be coming home. I figured I'd get us some takeout."
"I can wait," I said.
We waited another hour before my doctor finally appeared with a discharge form, checked me over one last time and then had me sign it and promise to call or come back should I suffer any problems at all, which could be dizzy spells, passing out, migraines and so on. Since I hadn't suffered any since the surgery, it was unlikely that I would and he added that I had recovered much faster than anyone expected since I regained consciousness.
Paul gathered up the few belongings I had scattered around the room, including Sarah's book and I sent her a text to tell her I was going home and that if she wanted to visit me the next day I would be in my apartment. She quickly sent me a message back to say she was a having an amazing day and that Jasper was 'shooting the freak'. I remembered the costumed man, dodging around behind various obstacles while members of the public shot paint balls at him and laughed; I had done the exact same thing myself the last time I took Leah and Sarah there. I was surprised they were still there, but clearly the day was going well.
Despite my insistence that I would be fine on the subway, Paul found us a cab outside the hospital and I discovered I was glad of it after all. Walking through the hospital was more of an effort than I imagined it would be and by the time I had made my way up the stairs at the gym, I was panting with the effort, legs shaking.
"Fuck, I'm so out of shape," I groaned, collapsing onto the couch.
"No, you're not, you just came out of a coma a few days ago," Paul reminded me. "You'll get it back in no time. For now, you're gonna have to put up with me being at your beck and call."
"Actually, I kind of like that idea," I smirked. "Does it mean you have to do everything I ask?"
"Everything," he agreed darkly.
"Well, after dinner, I could really use a bath. Not sure I have the strength to lift the sponge though," I teased.
"I might be able to manage that." He flexed a bicep in front of me and then picked up the phone. "Chinese?"
"Yes, please."
I settled myself more comfortably and prepared to enjoy the rest of the evening, relieved to be finally back in my home - our home.