You're Jane Johnson. Your mom is, uh, different but she's just unique! So don't worry about what she said this morning. I'll do fine on today's algebra test. I just have to get to the library, review the example questions and-

My pep-talk was interrupted by Austen and Tony.

"Hey JJ! You're still gonna help me with my paper after school, right?"

I looked up to see Tony speaking to me. The first thing I noticed when I met him was slightly tan skin and bright blue eyes, with the contrast between them being quite striking.

"Oh-" I was caught off-guard a bit, my mind focused on other matters: "I totally forgot about that! Good thing you reminded me. Yeah, I'll still help you."

I twirled my long blonde hair around my fingers, trying to look innocent so I could get away with forgetting in case he got upset. I didn't want a repeat of the tuba fiasco from middle school… I didn't think it'd be a good plan, but it worked in the 90s movies I guess.

Tony responded with a look of befuddlement, "Uh, what are you doing?"

I suddenly realized how stupid I must look, "Oh… sorry."

I'm not sure why I said that… I could have played it off. I'm not as cool as my mom I suppose.

Thankfully the moment passed quickly as Austen began speaking to me,

"Hey! If you have some time, please sign my petition!" He exclaimed happily as he pushed it toward me.

Please tell me why I was a bit scared to ask what it was for? Austen was forceful at times, I figured it must be an Ethiopian thing. He was friendly though, just not the brightest.

Tony and Austen were both immigrants and had been friends for as long as I had known them. I'm sure that shared trait could have been part of the puzzle, since despite both being on the football team, I felt Tony was much… smarter?

"What's it for?" I asked reluctantly.

"He's trying to trick you into his religious cult again." Tony deadpanned.

Austen laughed a bit, "Don't sound so scared, JJ. It's for basketball player preservation!"

I had no idea what that meant but refrained from asking follow-up questions, as I didn't want to upset them.

"Sure, I'll sign!"

I signed my name quickly: "Jane Johnson'' was written slightly sloppily on the third line. Hey, why don't they have any signatures yet?

"Am I the first person you've asked today?"

Tony replied, sounding slightly upset: "Naw, everybody else just said it was a waste of ink."

"That's a bit rude."

Austen pipes up, "Naw, it's okay. Madison said she was just trying to save the environment. I'm sure she meant well!"

Tony looked a bit annoyed at Austen's naivety. I was too, but was a bit distracted trying to figure out how not using pens could save the environment.

Tony spoke up, "Did you forget she also said she wouldn't sign since your name has an E in it?"

"It's not my fault my parents made a typo when I changed my name!"

I laughed a little bit. I enjoyed spending time with these two, even if just for a few minutes in the hallway… That was before the bell rang.

"Oh crap!" I exclaimed, "I was gonna study for that algebra test!"

Tony reassured me, "Don't worry, you'll probably ace it. You have an A in every class we share together!"

"Too bad math was created by the devil himself." I snarked, "Wait… did that sound too negative?"

"You're good."

We all smiled at each other, "Well thanks for the talk boys, I've gotta run to class. Good luck on your petition!" I yelled as I rushed away.

"She is so beautiful…" Austen gawked once she was a safe distance away.

It's true that she was beautiful. She was smart too… but I didn't care much about that as long as she wrote my papers for me. It was almost too damn easy…

"So when are you gonna ask her out?" I teased him.

He punched me in the arm, "Dude, you know I can't do that! Aubrey would be piiiissed at me. And I'm a one-woman man!"

"Wow, the bare minimum!" I teased him some more before laughing.

He chuckled a bit but was trying to contain his laughter, "Pff- It's not… it's not funny!"

As I walked to Algebra class I could hear the faint echoes of conversations in the hallway. My head played back all the things I heard people whisper about from days prior.

Why is she so perky? - She doesn't have enough angst. - She's so fake. - She's a try-hard. - Not as nice as she seems. - She's not an activist. - She doesn't care about REAL social issues.

I could genuinely never tell if what I was hearing was real or just me being sleep deprived from studying and looking after my little brother. I liked to lean towards them being fake. I was popular in middle school and I'm not sure what happened to make things go awry. The only people who talk to me not out of necessity are Tony, Austen, and Ezra. Ezra was strange though, I sometimes got the feeling he didn't like being around me, but I figured it was just my mind wandering too much. Nothing serious.

I soon found myself entering the harsh artificial lighting of the Algebra classroom.

"Oh good! You're here! Looks like the turn-up rate will be almost 30% today!"

My contemplative face soon turned happy again once I saw Ms. Maria, "Of course, It's exam day, isn't it?"

"That never stopped anyone..." A voice groaned from the back of the classroom, "I don't want to be here, but I figured I shall take the suffering if it means not being grounded."

"That's the spirit, Kai!" The teacher cheered him on.

I felt kinda bad for her... she had a lust for teaching but not a lot of people showed up. I've always struggled in math but thankfully Ms. Maria was way more helpful than most teachers I've had.

I sat down in my seat next to "E." No, I didn't know what her real name was, I can't answer your question. I just knew her jet-black hair and girly but creepy fashion was something I admired. It's weird though, I've never heard her speak... even though she's one of the most popular kids in school.

I leaned over to her, "Hey, E is it? Hehe, I wonder if that's your real name."

She turned to me and spoke sarcastically, "Yes it is."

Oh, she's like my mom! I get it now!

"Oh, good one! And JJ is written on my birth certificate."

"That's a really stupid name." She replied to me oddly fast.

"Oh...?"

"Now, now students," Ms. Maria began announcing as she passed the test papers around, "No talking during the test! I hope you've all studied thoroughly, and remember: if you find algebra as a subject too difficult: I also once hated algebra! But through grit and determination, I became a great mathematician! But graphing is where I draw the line!"

I didn't realize she was supposed to have made a joke, I just thought she was monologue-ing.

"Hahahha!" She let out a great diaphragm supported laugh, "Since none of you laughed, I will!"

The class just kind of stared at her. At least nobody boo'd this time, she was just trying her best.

...

An hour passed and I was the last one in the classroom, still working away at the exam. 50 questions seems like 500 when every problem has multiple steps!

I almost felt guilty in a way since I knew this was the last period, and I figured Ms. Maria had... something? Better to do.

I didn't even notice when she walked over to my desk, "Miss Johnson?"

"OH!" I jumped a few feet in my chair.

"Oh, sorry honey! I didn't mean to scare you."

I laughed it off, "No problem, I was just really focused."

"Sorry to break your focus, I just wanted to see if you needed help."

I was secretly relieved at the thought but my conscience got the better of me, "Isn't it kind of against the rules, though?"

She chuckled and then whispered, "It's alright, dear. I don't know how they expect you to actually learn if you just fail the exam and then don't get to see what you did wrong."

I reluctantly agreed, "Uh, sure, you can help. But I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Oh, don't worry about that... Now, I see you're on question 46..."

She explained to me tips and tricks to make the arithmetic easier, and even taught me clever ways to remember the formulas.

Damn she's good...

Author's Note: This is a huge task. I love the writing of Daria so much and want to make a time-skip/spin-off that feels justified. I can't promise the tone or writing will be as witty and sharp as Daria, but I hope I can tell an engaging story that has the roots of what made Daria special and adapt it to a modern age.

Daria will make an appearance in part 2, as she is still a main character here.