Chapter Thirteen
With Team Moronic Bitchtard…"What the hell kind of idea was this?"
"Yeah, why are we in cages?"
Hershal sighed as he carried the Moogle and cat in their cages. "Well you're both animals, and it'd look strange if we just strolled around here with a Moogle and a talking cat."
"Hey!" Sora said, irritated, "I'm a Telepathy Kitten. Talking cats are just weird."
"Fine. Telepathy Kitten, whatever." The quintet had recently arrived in Twilight Town and was given several stares as they walked.
"So what's the mission, Zexion?" asked Hershal, looking at the silver-haired seven year old. The boy fished in his cloak for a few moments, finally pulling out a slightly crumpled envelope. He opened it and began to read the note cards.
"Members III, VI, XIV, Sora, and Douchebag McFag, your mission is to find and take any work that come your way. The Organization is running through funds faster than a hot cup of Epson Salts through an old woman's colon." Hershal wondered why he was again being insulted and why Xemnas might want to use that analogy. "Take any work, especially if it has good pay or overly humiliating to Hershal. When you think you've raised enough, bring it back the the Castle. Over and Out."
"Alright. I'll go with Xion and Sora. Xaldin, you go with Zexion and scam some people near the station." Zexion and the Moogle started up the path towards Sunset Station, while Xion, Hershal, and Sora started towards the suburb district.
Team Crazy Lightning Man-Bitch…When the Corridor of Darkness that took him to the world closed, Larxene ripped open the envelope and read silently. "I see… So it shall be."
He opened another Corridor and cackled as he stepped through.
Team Looks-the-Same-as-She-Did-Before-She-was-Gender-Bent and Luxord…"For the 923rd time, no, Luxord. I'm not going to play a game with you. I know how you cheat and lie by using your time and card powers." Luxord, still a seven year old, hung his head low and walked behind Marluxia, who is still a woman, though she still looks the same as before. "Alright, hand me the mission, Luxord."
He handed her the envelope and she gently cut into it with a pair of gardening shears. She read the note aloud.
"Marluxia and Luxord, your job is to find a bakery and tell the person on the counter that I sent you. He'll give you a large box. Bring it to the Castle That Never Was immediately." She folded the envelope back up and slipped it into her cloak.
Team Sitar and Puppy…"So," said the blue-haired woman, sliding an envelope into her cloak, "it seems our mission is to pick up something called a computer, and whatever the hell an 'X-Box' is."
Demyx starting rapidly fist-pumping the air. " &%# YEAH! Go Xemnas!"
"He says that we have to go buy it at some place called 'Wal*Mart', though." Demyx was instantly on his knees, punching the floor.
" &%# NO! Not Wal*Mart! That place is a total Hell-hole!" Saix sighed and started dragging the blonde boy by his hood through a Dark Corridor.
Team Pyro-maniac, Ceiling-Cat and Pirate…"Why did he have to give us such a ridiculous name?" asked the eye-patched man.
Who cares. Let's just get this done. I don't want to have to spend more time in here than I have to. I hate this God-forsaken place and how all the pious college know-it-alls come here to write there crappy screenplays.
"Yeah, I know what you mean, Lex. We just need to get a..." Axel looked once again at the note Xemnas gave him, "50 dollar gift card." He looked up at one of the hanging menus. "Holy Crap! A coffee here is eight bucks?! No wonder he needs a gift card!"
Hey, order me some lactose-free milk.
"Lexeaus, it's milk, how can it be lactose-free?"
…Soy, walnut, there are a few different kinds of it.
A young blonde girl wearing a brown visor style hat walked up the counter. "Welcome to Star Bucks, how may I rip you off today, sir?"
"Yeah, I just want a gift card, and a bottle of milk." She punched in the items.
"Will that be all?"
A smile came across Axels face. "Make sure the milk has extra lactose. Lots of lactose."
"Oh, and I want a muffin."
"Alright," The cashier said cheerfully, "that will be 87 dollars." Axel punched the counter, and it cracked.
"What costs 37 bucks here?!" she kept her smile… creepily.
"The milk and the muffin."
Axel let out a sigh of defeat and handed the woman a hundred. A few feet away, several men typed away at their laptops.
"Man, I just love writing in public, Tom." One said.
"Yeah, me too. You're not a real writer unless someone constantly watches you type. Hey, RFPR, what're you writing about today?"
I sighed and looked at my fellow writers. "NOTHING IMPORTANT, YOU ASSHOLES." And I continued typing.
Team Moronic Bitchtard…Xion quietly knocked on the door to one of the apartments, and a middle-aged woman answered with a hello. Xion pulled Sora out from behind her back and showed him to the woman.
"Miss lady, this kitty is really sick, and we need some moneys to buy him treatment."
"Awe, and how much money do you need, little girl?" she asked, pulling out her billfold. Xion dug around in her pocket for a few seconds, then pulled out a crumpled up piece of notebook paper. She handed it to the woman, who just stared at it. "Little girl, this is just a one with fifteen zeros. I'm afraid I can't help you."
Xions face began to wrinkle up, and a strong stream of tears began rolling down her face. "Please! Daddy says the Kitty will die if we don't get moneys! Wahh!"
Sensing a small crowd gathering and staring at the child, the woman opened her billfold dumped out all the bills she had, and handed them to Xion. "Fine! Here! Just stop crying!" Immediately, Xions tears dried up and a small smile crawled up her face.
"Come on Kitty, let's go give the money to Daddy!" And she ran off, Sora in close pursuit. She turned at a corner and Hershal greeted her.
"Great job, Xion!" She handed him the multiple denomination of bills and he began counting. "Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen… Nineteen hundred bucks!" You did so well, Xion! Now, let's go over to the next set of apartments! Sora, you stay here this time." He picked up Xion and put her on his shoulders.
He walked over to another group of duplexes and rang the doorbell. An old man answered. "Whaddah ya want?" he asked, eyeing the young girl and Hershals shoulders.
"I'm going through a hard time right now. I made a mistake, my parents kicked me out of the house, and my girlfriend had a baby then died. I'm going around and trying to collect money so I can be a good dad." The old man kept his stare old and mean.
"Hmph." He said. "You teenagers, you go to your parties, get a girl preggers, then come ask old men that barely have a dime to lend you money. Fine, for the little girl you're carrying, not for you." He reached in his back pocket and took out a twenty dollar bill. He stuck it against the wall and pulled out a pen. He wrote something on it, then handed it to Hershal.
"Thank you so much." Hershal said, and he walked away back around the corner. When the old mans door had closed, Hershal quickly added, "asshole."
"So how was it?" Sora asked.
Hershal pulled out the bill and read what the old man wrote. "That old fart!" He handed the money to Sora.
"Did he seriously write 'Up yours, mother &%#er'? That old Fart!"