Hello faithful readers! Thank you for bearing with me! Here is, yet another, late update. It is also short and slightly uneventful, but the next chapter will be better! I plan to post it either later today or as early as possible tomorrow! Updates might be a little slow next week because of finals and basketball games, and I am very behind in my schoolwork… which tends to happen when you miss four days of school the week before finals for a basketball tournament! Anyway, yesterday I, like most of the United States, heard about the Connecticut elementary school shooting yesterday, and my heart goes out to all those involved. It seriously blows my mind how anyone could commit such a horrible crime. I'll be praying for the mommies and daddies who lost their children only a few short weeks before Christmas, and yes I said CHRISTmas.

That being said, I am now done with my extremely long rant. Enjoy this mushy chapter…

KarleeRay

"What was that about? Where were you tonight?" Fang asks, softly, referring to my awful performance in my game that night. We lost, for the very first time, and I gotta admit, I'm not loving this feeling too much.

I sigh, heavily. "Your guess is as good as mine." My heart feels heavy. I let my team down. My head just was not in the game tonight. It was, however, on other things…..things such as Trent, who was retreating farther and farther back into himself. I just didn't understand him, didn't understand what was going on. At first I thought it was all about those guys who roughed us up a bit on our shopping trip, and it was at first, he admitted to it, but now I know it's something else. He doesn't seem angry, just defeated and…. Tired, so tired. I've asked him about it, like a million times, but he refuses to say that anything's wrong. Sometimes, when it's just him and I talking, I can see glimpses of his normal goofy self, but just as quickly as they appear, they're gone.

"Hey…. It's just a game, Max" Fang murmurs, cupping my face.

"We lost because of me!" I counter, suddenly angry. I slip out of his grasp and stand, pacing back and forth. "If I hadn't turned the ball over at the beginning of the fourth, then we could have won! Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! What a dumb thing to do! I handed them that win!"

Fang listens to my rant, quietly. "That's not fair. Everyone made mistakes in that game. None of you played to the best of your abilities."

"It doesn't matter how they did! I'm supposed to be the captain! They rely on my points, and I let them down!"

"I don't know what to tell you, Max," Fangs says, after a moment of silence. "You're being too hard on yourself. Yeah, you're the captain, but at the end of the day, there's no I in team."

I snort. What a cliché thing to say.

"I'm not finished," Fang snaps, and I instantly quiet down. "What I'm trying to say is that you all are a team, and you can't pin the blame on one person. What if Carter hadn't missed that easy lay up? What if Allie hadn't gotten beat to the basket? What if Chrissa hadn't air balled that wide open 3?"

I sit back down on the bed, realizing the truth of his words.

"You see?" He murmurs, wrapping his arms around me. "If none of that happened, you would've won the game, too. You're not the only one who messed up."

I nod, twisting in his arms to give him a slow peck on the cheek.

"You missed," Fang complains, gently, and I have to give a small, reluctant smile as I bring my lips down on his, softly, looking for comfort, not lust. Fang seems to understand, making the kiss slow and gentle and loving.

Fang pulls back first, pinning me with his stare. "Now, why don't you tell me what's really bothering you." I start to protest, but he cuts me off. "I'm not saying that you aren't upset about your game….I'm only saying that there's more to it than that."

I sigh, heavily, shoulders sagging in defeat. "You know what it is."

"Trent?" He guesses, and I nod.

"I don't understand why he's acting like this. I mean, I'm supposed to be his best friend… why won't he let me in?"

Fang snorts. "Huh. That sounds eerily familiar to a situation I've been in my whole life."

He's referring to me, to how closed off I am and how difficult it was to get me to talk to him at times. "You're saying I'm being too hard on him," I mutter, grudgingly.

"I'm saying that, from my own personal experience in dealing with you, he'll tell you if or when he's ready. You can't force someone to tell you something and begging doesn't really with…. Uhh… annoyingly stubborn people."

He nudges me and, I smirk, softly. "Watch yourself, Fang."

We sit in comfortable silence for a few moments before Fang kisses the back of my neck and slides out from under me.

"Where are you going?" I ask, trying to keep the whine out of my voice.

"Going to shower. You get some sleep," He answers as he walks out the door to my room.

Suddenly, I'm feeling very lonely, and I find myself walking down the stairs. I hear soft voices coming from the living room, and I follow the sound. My head peeks out from around the kitchen doorway.

Angel spots me immediately, and she jumps up from her knees and bounds towards me. I open my arms just in time for her to jump into them. Wow. She hasn't done that in forever. I have to admit, it feels nice. Angel is seven now and pretty tall, but regardless of that, I shift her onto my hip like I always did when she actually was the baby. She looks up at me, eyes gleaming. "Max! We were just about to come and get you and Fang." She holds up a Christmas ornament of a ballerina for me to see. I have absolutely no idea what a ballerina has to do with this Christmas, but the ornament was nice all the same. "Isn't it pretty?"

I nod. "It's beautiful, Ange." My free hand brushes hair off of her forehead so that I can kiss it, and then I set her down, watching in awe as she scampers back towards the enormous box of ornaments. Gazzy and Nudge are sifting excitedly through the box, chattering about which ones they were going to put on the tree first. Ella is curled up on the couch next to Iggy who has a smile on his face even though he isn't witnessing the beautiful scene unfolding before my eyes. I stand in the kitchen doorway, eyes eagerly drinking in all the details of this moment. My kids, my flock, looking young and innocent all over again, faces alight with wonder. I have literally dreamed of this day.

Tears start in my eyes and, out of habit, I quickly wipe them away with the back of my hand.

"Stop," Mom says, from behind me. She grabs my hands away from my face, so that I can't hide my tears, and puts them back at my sides. "It's okay to feel, Max. Open your eyes and let yourself feel this."

She wraps her arms around me from behind, smiling, and I let her. My tears roll down my cheeks, and I am captivated by the scene in front of me. I watch in silence as Gazzy finds an ornament in the box, covered in midnight blue sequins and sparkles. He jumps up and runs over to Iggy. "This one's real pretty, huh, Ig?" He asks, and I feel my heart break. Iggy's sensitive fingers roam over the ornament, and then grumpy, sarcastic Iggy's face lights up, and he smiles. I feel my face crumple, tears erupting from my eyes. New arms replace my mother's, arms that I would know anywhere, and I lean back into Fang's embrace. I don't have to explain myself. He knows.

My head lolls back, and I find myself staring at the ceiling…. well, not so much at the ceiling as just staring up, in the general of the sky, where I imagine Heaven would be. For the first time, I truly believe that there is a God, because things like this don't just happen to me on their own accord. Something, or rather someone made this happen, someone bigger than all of us. There has to be a God.

Thanks Big Guy.