the zapdos Presents
A Kick It Up A Notch! Two-Part Special: Part One
Episode 6: Opposite Day
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!
"Bad evening, ma'am!" the genial robot Norm announced with a blast of a French horn, causing a pajama-sporting Doofenshmirtz to jump a foot out of bed and send his sheets sprawling across the floor.
"Norm!" shouted the exasperated Doofenshmirtz, "what part of 'an evil scientist needs his beauty sleep' do you not understand? And what do you mean, 'bad evening?' It's morning-time, you clunky canister."
"Today is Opposite Day," exclaimed the sentient machine. "So I said, 'bad evening, ma'am,' which is the opposite of, 'good morning, sir.' Every time you say or do something, it is supposed to be the opposite of what you mean."
"Oh, I get it," said Doofenshmirtz, comprehending. "Sort of like Oktoberfest, but it's not in October."
"Exactly." Norm visibly flashed a red cue light located on his suit lapel, although his creator didn't see it.
"Wow." Doofenshmirtz stood from his bed and put a hand to his chin. "You know, this gives me an idea! Imagine all the evil things I could do, now that it's Opposite Day!"
A childlike grin spread across the evil scientist's face as an upbeat tune began to play in the background. In an instant he was outside in his regular lab coat, strutting down the sidewalk and swinging his arms proudly. There was an undeniable swagger in his smile. A horde of beautiful back-up singers danced in line behind him, humming:
"Op-pah-pah-pah,
Opposite Day!
Op-pah-pah-pah,
Opposite Day!"
"We all know that the opposite of left is right," Doofenshmirtz sang,
"That hot is to cold as dark is to light.
I guess that you could say these things are black and white
When it's Opposite Day—I mean Night."
("Op-pah-pah-pah,
Opposite Day!
Op-pah-pah-pah,
Opposite Day!")
"Now listen to me closely, 'cause I'm gonna rehearse
How I'm gonna spread the antonym of good 'in verse:'
I'll tell a lady on the street I like her purse
When I actually mean the reverse!"
The woman he met thusly on the street gave him an offended look. The evil scientist obliviously turned a corner and kept right on singing.
"I'll park near the sign that says, 'No Parking!'"
He ripped a ticket off the windshield of a car and tore it to shreds.
"Go when the light turns red, now wouldn't that be shocking!
It's the truth that you can get away with much malarkey
When it's Opposite Day,
Oh, what I wouldn't pay!
To prank on Opposite Day—I mean night! Kickline, ladies!" He put his arms around the back-up singers on either side of him and they all kicked in unison.
"That's right!
The day on which I'll get away
With every evil thing I say,
Is thanks to Op! -Posite Day—I mean Niiiiight!"
As he held the final note, the back-up dancers struck a pyramid-shaped pose surrounding him and waved their glittering Broadway-inspired hats overhead.
"Thanks for the help, ladies," Doofenshmirtz said; meanwhile the dancers were quickly dispersing. "Say, are any of you available on Tuesday night?" Doofenshmirtz hurried to ask.
"I am," one said.
"Really?"
"No: It's Opposite Day."
"Yep, it's Opposite Day," the morning talk-show host announced on the radio.
"So, if I told you your breath smells like a porcupine, would that be considered a compliment?" the female co-host asked.
"Yes—I mean, no?" the man answered uncertainly.
"Oh, okay. Just so we're clear."
The radio was heard through the open window of the delivery truck parked out back of the Flynn-Fletcher residence. Phineas was signing the papers for the driver while Ferb directed a fork-lift carrying some wooden crates.
"My breath doesn't really smell that bad, though, does it?" the male voice asked.
"Yes," answered the female voice. "Yes it does.
"And by that, you mean, 'no,' right? Since it's Opposite Day?"
"Yes."
"And by that, you mean—ow! Okay, now my brain hurts!"
The delivery driver, who was not paying any attention to the radio, looked slightly perplexed. "Say," he voiced, "aren't you kids a little young to be ordering all this stuff?"
Phineas was careful to answer. "No, no we aren't." He handed up the clipboard.
"Oh, you kids," smiled the driver. "Happy Opposite Day, then."
"Happy Opposite Day!" Phineas said as the man clambered back into the truck.
"Say, what are you planning on doing with all that, anyways?" The driver pointed a thumb over his shoulder to indicate.
"We haven't decided yet," Phineas explained. "For now, we're just covering our bases." Apparently satisfied, the man nodded, and the truck pulled away.
At that moment, there was the sound of a door slamming, and Candace appeared, bending down to leer at her brothers with hands on her hips.
"Alright you two, Jeremy just called to ask me out tonight, so I don't want to deal with any of your shenanigans today, got it?"
"Happy Opposite Day, Candace!" Phineas cheerfully declared.
The teen seemed not to hear. "And one more thing—wait, what?"
"Today's Opposite Day," Phineas returned politely, his usual smile spread wide across his face. "The radio said so, so it must be true."
"Pfft," Candace rolled her eyes and blew off the idea with a flick of her wrist. "Only little kids still play games like 'Opposite Day'. You do know that's not a real thing, right?"
Without warning, a gasp issued from somewhere offscreen. The three siblings turned toward a banging noise on their wooden fence and saw a hooded figure in a dark robe pulling itself over to look at them. The shadowy personage spoke with an eerie voice. "Do not underestimate the power of Opposite Day," he said. "It might just be the last thing you ever do-ooo!" Thunder crashed, even though there were no clouds in the sky. Phineas, Ferb, and Candace looked around curiously, then shrugged.
"I'm sorry," Candace said, "who are you?"
"My name is not important—."
The gate to the fence opened, and Isabella entered the backyard. "What'cha doin'?" she asked in her usual, cutesy way. "And who's that on the fence?"
Before anyone could answer, the figure continued. "This is your last warning, do not mess with the universe's forces on Opposite day! Heed my—oof!" Isabella had released the gate, such that it swung back and shook the fence, causing the figure to lose his balance and fall back over the side. Embarrassed, he picked himself back up and looked around sheepishly. "Well, that was, uh—you know, I just remembered I have an appointment. I gotta go stand by the highway holding up my sign that says, 'Repent! The end is near!' So, I'll just, um, leave you kids at it, I guess." With that, he was gone.
Ferb delivered his first line of the day. "Well, that wasn't foreshadow-ey in any way."
"No," winked Phineas, with an added snap of the fingers and pointing gesture, to reinforce the fact that he was joking for Opposite Day. "No, it wasn't."
"Nice one," complimented Ferb. Isabella joined to stand by the others with a smile.
Candace groaned. "Well, why don't you guys do the opposite of what you usually do then," she suggested, "and not be the world's most annoying brothers for one day? Is that too much to ask?"
Phineas jumped to a start. "That's it! Hey Ferb, I know what we're going to do today! I mean—what we're not going to do today? Is that right?" He paused to place a hand on his chin. "Gee, getting the converse of my catchphrase right is sort of tricky."
Candace rolled her eyes again and went back inside the house.
Phineas was still thinking out loud. "Should I say I don't know what we're gonna do today? Or maybe I should—hey, wait! Where's Perry?"
The secret agent's theme played in the background as Agent P was spotted riding atop a pizza delivery car that was weaving through traffic. After ducking behind a sign on the car's roof expressing its identity as a pizza deliverer, the car slowed to a stop and a pimply-faced teenager in spectacles exited the car, bringing along a pizza box as he approached a door. He rang the doorbell; Carl answered and accepted the pizza box. "Thanks, Grant. We still on for Caverns and Creatures this Tuesday?"
"Does the derivative of a constant always equal zero?" replied the delivery boy in a geeky nasally voice.
"Excellent." Satisfied, Carl handed him the tip and carried the pizza box inside. Agent P sprung out of the box, landed in his lair, and Monogram appeared on the screen.
"Thank goodness you made it, Agent P," Monogram said with his usual stern look. "As you may know, today is Opposite Day, and we fear Doofenshmirtz is once again up to no good."
"Oh, rats! They forgot the anchovies again!" interjected Carl.
"Carl, for goodness' sake!" chided the Major. "Can you please keep it down? I'm trying to debrief an agent, here! Anyway, on your way, Agent P!"
With a final salute, Perry was gone in a flash.
Monogram watched him go and looked somewhere off-screen. "Gross, Carl, you're actually eating that?"
"Opposite Day, give me a break," Candace sassed, watching her brothers from her window above. They were just dumping a bin of metal parts out on the grassy lawn. "If it were really Opposite Day, Mom would actually see the boys were up to something for once."
Just then, Linda's voice rang through the house as she called out to her sons in the back yard. "Phineas, Ferb, are you two up to something? I see you dumping out an old box of your father's screws and rivets on in the back yard."
"Oh, it's not Dad's, and it's not old: we ordered it earlier this morning," Phineas called back. "We're just building an as-yet unspecified device for Opposite Day."
"Okay, just make sure you play safely, and clean up after you're finished."
Candace's hands flew to her mouth so she could begin to chew frantically on her fingernails. "Oh my gosh, it really is Opposite Day! Let's see, has anyone said anything to me today that was supposed to have a totally different, 'Opposite Day' kind of meaning?" She flashed back to that morning to when she had talked on the phone with Jeremy. Wiggle wiggle wiggle… Wiggle wiggle wiggle…
"Hey, Candace," Jeremy had said, "you wanna do something tonight?"
Candace giggled girlishly. "Hee-hee, okay!"
"Cool," responded the blonde-haired teen. "See you this evening, then!"
Candace snapped back to the present, now feeling very nervous. "So, what if Jeremy, by asking me on a date, really meant the opposite of date?" she asked herself, aloud. "What if he's breaking up with me?" For a moment, her eyes became exceptionally large. Then she screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Candace's cell phone rang.
"Stacy, is that you?" a delirious Candace answered, on the verge of tears.
"I'll be right over," her BFF succinctly stated, "with some lactose-free ice cream to cheer you up."
Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated!
A cannon fired. A platypus wearing a helmet with protective eyewear blasted through the air and crashed through the window into Doofenshmirtz's lair. "Ah, Perry the Platypus," greeted the lab coat sporting Drusselsteinian, "I have to hand it to you, your ability to make an entrance never ceases."
At the click of a button extracted from his labcoat pocket, a giant mechanical hand appeared and replaced the broken window with a new one. Agent P popped off his helmet, allowing his fedora underneath to fall into place, and looked around expectantly.
"What?" asked Doofenshmirtz. "Are you expecting a trap? Not this time, Perry the Platypus; I mean, didn't you hear the jingle? I'm actually being good for once; I'm, 'breaking good,' as the internet would say!" At that, he put his hand behind the surprised secret agent's shoulders and walked him inside. "Now before you get all jumpy, it's not that I'm defecting to the good side, or anything. You can tell Monogram he can keep his little gift basket. This is only temporary. You see, since today is Opposite Day, I figured I might as well go with the flow and do the opposite of what I normally would. Because if the universe wants to be opposite today, it's gonna be opposite today; I don't wanna mess with the mojo of the universe. Bad things will happen."
The platypus didn't look convinced.
"What? It's true. And since I knew you were coming over, I even prepared a Good Scheme for the day. So I figured it would be counterproductive to set a trap for you, and all that." Doofenshmirtz approached a white sheet that was covering his latest device. "Now, here's my invention for good. Behold!" He whipped off the sheet, revealing a mechanical device unlike any Perry had ever seen. "The Anti-Rising-Sea-Level-Inator! And keep beholding, keep beholding, are you still beholding, Perry the Platypus? You better be, just think of all the poor children who can't behold this. I mean, there must be millions! Think of them, they don't even know what it looks like! They can't be here to see it, like you are seeing it now. So keep beholding, Perry the Platypus, appreciate the good things you have; keep beholding, oh, you're good? Okay."
Doofenshmirtz turned to admire his machine as he monologued. "These days, you hear a lot of people talking about climate change and greenhouse gas and global warming and rising ocean levels and the diminishing ozone layer, lots of bad stuff. My Anti-Rising-Sea-Level-Inator reverses all of them! It's fueled by excess carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, and when it's running it strips the oxygen atoms out of water molecules in the ocean by converting them to ozone. I know this one's a little more complicated and science-y than usual, but the practical upside to all this is lowering the 'rising sea levels' everybody's so worried about and replenishing the ozone layer—all while reducing CO2 levels at the same time. Not too shabby, eh?
"So, Perry the Platypus," Doofenshmirtz told his nemesis, "you now have two choices. You can either thwart me and my scheme like you always do, or you can let it succeed. But remember, this isn't an evil scheme, it's a good scheme! So if you thwart me, someone who is attempting to do something good, you would actually be the one doing something evil!" As he said that, Agent P's eyes widened. "That's right, let it sink in! So, with your reputation on the line, I am now going to proceed with turning on my machine. The 'On' button is right here, I'm stretching forth my finger to push it..." The two locked gazes. Doofenshmirtz's spindly forefinger hovered over the button.
"In five. Four." The evil scientist counted down on his wristwatch. "Three, two, one." Agent P hesitated. "Zero!"
Doofenshmirtz's finger came down on the red button, and the machine revved to life. A beam of light shot out into the ocean, but nothing ominous seemed to happen, it just whirred away happily like a purring kitten. Meanwhile, the sun shone brightly, the skies were blue, and people were happily flying kites at the park nearby.
"Oh, good, everybody's here," Phineas said, now that Isabella, Buford and Baljeet stood before him. "Gang, as you all probably know, today is Opposite Day, so Ferb and I have created a—"
"Wait, wait, wait," Buford interrupted, waving both hands through the air in front of him. "Today's Opposite Day? Am I gonna have to wear a towel 'round my head again?"
"Um, I'm not sure how to answer that," Phineas cocked his head in reply.
The nerd, however, crossed his arms smugly and looked sideways at Buford. "Yes, that means today you must be the responsible and studious one, while I get to bully you."
The bully's eyes widened to the size of grapefruits. "Aw, man."
"Not necessarily," Phineas remonstrated. "Today's project takes advantage of the effects of Opposite Day—it reverses every law of physics, from gravity to classical motion to thermodynamics to radioactive decay."
"How is that even possible?" Isabella asked.
Phineas pointed at a blackboard Ferb had been using, which was covered in complex mathematical equations, including Einstein's famous E=mc². "The long answer involves converting antimatter into negative energy and some delightfully difficult fifth-degree polynomial integrals. I recommend the short answer: trying it and seeing for yourself!"
"Alright!" The kids cheered and stepped inside a sinusoidal dome now occupying most of the backyard. The Quirky-Worky Song must have been playing on loudspeakers or something, because it could be heard in the background as the kids began to play.
Soo-dee up! Boo-lee up! Boo-lee bee buh-dee dah! Soo-dee up! Boo-lee up! Boo-lee bee buh-dee dah!
Soo-dee up! Boo-lee up! Boo-lee bee buh-dee dah! Buh-duh dee-dee dah! Bah-duh! Dah! Dah! Dah!
A humming noise came from somewhere, and floor gave way—but nobody fell, instead they all began to float. Everyone voiced their "Whees!" and "Who-hoos!" as they effortlessly zoomed through the air like wingless birds. Now the room filled with little white puffballs that fell up from the ground to the ceiling. Isabella was the first to inspect this new phenomenon.
"It's snow!" she realized, sticking her tongue out to catch a flake.
"Correct," Phineas stated, while Ferb somersaulted nearby. "Because winter is the opposite of summer!"
Boom digga boom digga. Boom-a-booma digga!
Boom digga boom digga. Boom-a-booma digga!
"Did anybody bring some Alka-Seltzer?" Buford asked aloud, his face a little green.
Baljeet, on the other hand, looked happy as can be. "Because it is Opposite Day, I do not feel sick, like I normally would! Where's that Van Stomm Iron Constitution now, Buford?"
At this point, they had risen to the ceiling, and began to walk upside-down on it. Phineas called the others over. "All right, you guys, I've got something to show you, come look at this! No, you have to walk backwards! Trying to walk forwards in this room makes you go backwards; you have to walk backwards to go forwards!" After some practice with this new phenomenon and guiding them all to a table, Phineas began to explain. "Here's a fun game we should try," he said, pointing out a stack of cards. "It's called Sedarahc. It's like Charades, but you have to guess the opposite of what is being acted out! Ferb will go last."
Ferb took the top card. After thinking for a second, he folded his arms and began tap dancing spiritedly.
"Tuna!" Buford guessed.
"Egg salad?" tried Isabella.
"White blood cells?" Baljeet inquired.
"Llamas!" exclaimed Phineas. Ferb pointed at his step-brother and clicked his tongue. "That one was too hard. My turn!" The red-headed inventor reached for the stack of cards. No sooner had he read his card than he dropped onto his side and began doing the worm.
"Woodland pixies!"
"Yoga?"
"Asparagus!"
"Sandals!"
"Genghis Khan?"
"A Ukulele!"
"Sunscreen?"
"That little plastic tip-thing on the end of a shoelace? What was that thing called again?"
"A double-decker bus!"
"Waffles!"
Phineas stood up. "Isabella didn't get it!"
"Really?" Buford objected, throwing his hands in the air. "That looked like it was not the perfect Genghis Khan, or I'm not a raspberry popsickle!"
"Buford," Baljeet pointed out, "you are not a raspberry popsickle."
"Just wait 'til it's my turn to go!"
Candace explained to Stacy how Jeremy had asked her out, and she'd agreed to a date with him that afternoon, without knowing it was Opposite Day. "Oh, Stacy, what do I do?"
Stacy shook her friend by the shoulders. "It's obvious, isn't it? Call him right now, and tell him you never want to see him again!"
"Oh yeah, huh? I don't see any possible way that could backfire." Candace had already whipped out her cell phone and dialed the number when she stopped. "But, what if he says he doesn't ever want to see me again, either?"
"Then you'll know he's just keeping in character for Opposite Day," Stacy suggested.
"Good point." Candace nodded and put the phone to her ear. "Good-bye, Jeremy. I just wanted to say that I can totally wait for our date later today, and that I wish you a sad Opposite Day!" she said, jovially. Stacy gave the thumbs up. "And also, I hope I never see you again! Hello!" She flipped her phone shut with a grin. "I think it worked!"
At the Johnson residence, Jeremy put down his phone and gave Coltraine a confused look. "I think Candace just broke up with me, but then she said something about it being Opposite Day and ended with 'hello,' so I'm not really sure."
"Maybe you should wear your pants backwards when you see her, or something, to force the issue."
"Yeah, I think I'm not gonna do that," Jeremy stated, and they both laughed.
Coltraine paused a beat before responding. "You did mean the opposite of that, though, right? 'Cause I couldn't quite tell."
"Yes, yes I did…."
The roof was open, allowing the sun to shine in, and Agent P and Doctor D lay resting in a pair of beach chairs and both wearing sunglasses, at peace with each other. Doofenshmirtz wore a relaxed expression to go along with his swimming trunks as he tucked his arms behind his head. "Ah, Perry the Platypus, this is so much better than how my day usually goes, what with you, you know, beating me up, and all. Who knew doing something good for a change could be so relaxing? Although I have to say, I'm getting this irrepressible urge to do something evil."
Doofenshmirtz sat up and removed his shades. "Yeah! You know what? I can't take this anymore; I feel compelled to do something absolutely heinous right now, like the urges people get when they go cold turkey. I was planning on saving this scheme for another day, but you know what? I think I'll just give it a whirl right now, Perry the Platypus. Whaddaya say?" Agent P peered suspiciously over his sunglasses at the evil scientist before sitting up and stretching.
"It's right over here, under all this clutter, give me a sec." Doofenshmirtz trotted over to a corner and carried back some junky contraption that that looked like a two-way radio hooked onto a miniaturized washing machine. "Sorry I don't have any extravagant presentation ready for it this time; you understand, right?" he said as he hastily screwed the last pieces together. "So behold, the Status-Quo-Inator! Um, tada!" He thrust his arms out at the invention in a presentative fashion.
"Anyways, the status quo is defined as the present state of affairs, a.k.a. you always defeating me. So if I can change the status quo, evil will start winning for a change! And once I defeat you, there will be no one left to stop me from taking over the Tri-State Area! Aha ha haha ha!"
As Doofenshmirtz was reaching out to activate the device, Agent P charged forward. He leapt in the air and delivered a powerful kick, knocking his foe off his feet.
"That's it, Perry the Platypus," Doofenshmirtz exclaimed, producing a remote from his swimsuit pocket. "You force my hand!" He pressed the single, large red button, and the mechanical hand from earlier reached out and snatched Agent P where he stood. The secret agent's head poked out behind the thumb as the fingers curled around his body, squeezing him tightly like a boa constrictor.
"See, get it? 'Cause, it's a hand? Yeah…" Doofenshmirtz rubbed the back of his neck, almost apologetically. The animal spy squirmed in vain to free himself.
From the top of the day's invention, Phineas looked out upside-down through a strategically placed window and saw Jeremy walking up to the Flynn-Fletcher's house dressed in slacks and a white shirt and tie—however, everything he was wearing was on backwards, down to his very shoes being on the mismatched foot. "Now that's embracing the spirit of Opposite Day," Phineas said to himself as he waved through the window. Jeremy waved back before knocking on the front door.
"Good evening, Ms. Flynn," Jeremy offered as soon as his girlfriend answered the door. "I believe we are set not to go out on this non-date on this Opposite Day we are having?"
Candace swooned in place temporarily, then held up a finger. "Hehe, uno momento," she responded and closed the door to glance at Stacy. "It did work!" she silently mouthed, and the two shared a giggle before she opened the door again to join Jeremy.
"And just what did you have planned for this 'non-date' of ours?" she inquired as they headed off down the sidewalk.
"A lane at the bowling alley reserved for two, and then a spot of dinner after—Candace?"
Before he could even finish his sentence, Candace had stopped when she saw what could be described as a large space capsule nestled in her backyard. She didn't need to see Phineas and Ferb and their friends freely floating inside through the window to know what she had to do next. "MOM!"
"Have you hand enough, Perry the Platypus? When it comes to hand puns, I was dealt a good hand. You could say I have a handbag full of them. If I was on stage, people'd be putting their hands together for me. I suppose I'm a handyman for these things. Ooh, that's a good one!" On Doofenshmirtz drawled as the sky turned to orange in the setting sun. Perry had given up on escaping his trap and was only half-listening at this point. "Two hands are better than one! Wait, no, that's not right—oh, great, now my streak is broken! Five hundred thirty-seven perfectly good hand puns in a row, and that's what does me in? Oh, whatever, my hands are tied. There we go! We're back on track! Got a little off on the wrong foot there, but—oh! I did it again! Eh, I guess it is Opposite Day, so at least that feet one has a sort of logic to it."
"Mom! Mom! Mom!" Candace shouted through the house. She grabbed her mother by the elbow and started dragging her exuberantly. "You have to come see what Phineas and Ferb have built in the backyard!"
"Anyway, I better activate my Status-Quo-Inator before you break free of your trap," Doofenshmirtz recalled, walking over to his device and just noticing it was getting late. Agent P struggled to free himself, but was held too tightly. "If I ramble any longer, who knows what could happen…"
Not far away, the Nagging Wife criticized her slouching Napoleon-sized husband in the street below. "I can't believe you sold a successful real estate business to become a master pianist, and you didn't even buy a piano to practice with!" The husband patiently endured the invective in silence. "What did you think was going to happen—a grand piano was just gonna fall out of—!" The wife paused and looked overhead; seeing nothing, she smirked. "—The sky?!" After pausing a beat, nothing happening, she concluded, "I thought so."
"Wait for it…." Her husband held up a finger in reply.
In the sky above, an airplane flew high over Danville.
"I'm so happy I finally received my inheritance from my rich great-uncle," an eccentric new billionaire said inside his plane. "I'm going to celebrate by giving out free grand pianos by dropping them out of my new plane!" He flipped a hatch, causing the auto-ramp to unfold itself, and a plethora of pianos slid out the rear of the plane.
"Oh, for goodness' sake," the wife nagged on. "No pianos are falling out of the sky!" At that moment, a shrill whistling sound could be heard overhead, and a shadow seemed to form over her. The wife slouched in defeat and propped open an umbrella over her head. As the shadow slowly grew and the whistling became louder, she uttered, "This isn't over."
Back atop Doofenshmirtz's building, the evil scientist moved to activate his device. "And I was like, sure, you can prop it up with the spare axel, but what are you gonna do about the other three chickens? Pascal's Law can only get you so far. Anyways, that's the last tangent I'm getting sidetracked on, Perry the Platypus. No more rants, digressions, or tirades. I'm just going to activate my Inator, like I've been saying I would for the past twenty minutes!"
Just then, a piano fell out of the sky and crushed the arm of Agent P's trap, allowing him to spring free.
Doofenshmirtz seemed not to notice the loud crash. "Soon, the world will be quaking in terror as my Status-Quo-Inator literally flips the status quo on its—OOF!" A platypunch to the face knocked Doofenshmirtz into his machine, causing it to whir into action.
"Oops, you made me push the 'Fire' button by accident," Doofenshmirtz realized, lifting his hand from the large circular knob as he pushed himself up. The two watched, stupefied, as the Inator fired a wide, lime-green beam across the Tri-State Area.
"Perry the Platypus," the evil scientist whispered, "I think I just… won."
Candace pulled Linda the last few feet out the door and gestured to what she hoped was Phineas' and Ferb's creation immediately behind her, although she was more focused on her mother seeing it than double-checking that it was, in fact, still there.
"The boys have totally ruined the back yard, leaving this ugly mess in its place!"
Linda beheld the Room of Opposites with wonder.
"All summer, I've been trying to break the status-quo of you never seeing what the boys have built," Candace continued, "and here we are again, and it's probably somehow mysteriously vanished…"
"I—see it!"
"Yep, there it is—I see it. Wait, what?"
"I see it!"
Candace looked at her mother's face, then over her shoulder at the oddly shaped building, then back at Linda, then back over her shoulder, then back again. A grin spread across the teenager's face and she began to wring her hands. "Ehehehehehehe!"
Phineas, Ferb, and their friends chose that moment to exit the structure. "Ih, moM! Ih, ecadnaC!" Phineas waved. "Si ti emit rof skcans, tey?"
The two women looked at the boy, confused.
"Oh, sorry," Phineas said. "Backwards-speak is a side-effect of being in our Opposite Day Room for long periods of time. I think it's wearing off, now."
"I evol uoy, saenihP!" Isabella declared.
Phineas turned his head. "What did you say, Isabella?"
"Nothing!" She looked away pointedly.
Before Phineas could question her further, Linda erupted.
"You boys were building this—this—this thing without my permission?!" Her face was livid. Candace, on the other hand, was shaking with excitement. Linda turned to face her daughter, her face softening. "Does this mean that every time you've been telling me they have built something, it was all true?"
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Candace couldn't believe her eyes.
"To be fair," Phineas mentioned, "you did say we could build it this morning."
"I thought you were building a stool, or maybe a tire swing! I would have never given you permission to build something like this!" She thrust her arms in the direction of the backyard.
Phineas' smile contorted itself into a rare frown, and he flinched visibly when his mother delivered her final judgment.
"YOU TWO ARE SO BUSTED!"
At precisely that moment, a lime-green beam of light struck the boys' construct, and everything vanished.
Honk! BEEP! Honk! Toot toot!
The noises of traffic passed the lonely hooded figure as he with macabre solemnity held up a sign reading, 'Repent! The end is near!' on the side of the road. A smart aleck who happened to be passing rolled down his window and shouted, "Yo! Today's Opposite Day, so what you're really saying is that the end is far!"
The hooded figure gasped as he realized it was so. He fell to his knees and shouted dramatically to the darkening skies. "NOOOOOOOOOO!"
To be continued…
Uh-oh! Can the status quo be saved? Are the boys really busted? Did Doof actually win? Find out next Friday, when Part Two arrives!
A big thanks to you for reading, and also for The WGPM, who is now my songwriting-beta! If you liked this, be sure to go check out her Waiting To Be Told, another fanfiction for one-shot original episodes like this. It's really good. And don't forget to review/follow/favorite; it'll protect you from those space harpies, trust me!