You know Your're Obsessed When

by Carma Bain Bentley

'Obsessor' is a term given to a being that has created a rather large, usually so huge that is completely annoys those they socialise or live with, fascination of something. I am Professor Obsessor, and I will show you many different ways that you can tell if you are obsessed with Skulduggery Pleasant.

11. Chapter 11

The subject matter we are covering today, is where an Obsessors love is so strong that they cannot help but to branch out into similar fields of literature, movies of things. When one has reached a level of Obsessions, such as one for Skulduggery Pleasant, their brains will automatically consider things that are similar to be 'good', when they would usually be ranked as 'bad'. Examples of these include skulls, cars, swords, guns or other weapons.

People who have an Obsession can also start talking like their favourite author or character, or take up stalking said author, or character (whether this be the actual character and a figment of their imagination or someone who just looks like said character, I'll let the Obsessor decide).

Secret passageways now seem ever epic-er

You pretend vampires are chasing you when you jump off cliffs… into water of course

You agree with Val… branches are a lot unlike pillows

If you have a twin, you say 'are you ready to resume your life?' every time you see them

You add 'change skulduggery to Skulduggery' into to spellchecker

You make sure never to marry a guy like Fergus just in case he decides to ban your children from

doing magic

Puzzle boxes bring new captivation

You really want to know what Skulduggery's wife and child's names were

You refer to Derek Landy as The Golden God

You want to stalk/ marry the Golden God

You ask him through fan email about both things

You mope when he doesn't reply for a few hours

You are ecstatic when he does reply… and then sad when he can't marry you… and when he says that it would be creepy for you to stalk him

A good dose of chocolate and Skulduggery Pleasant revives your faith in him

You hate the waiting period between book releases

You are so jealous that Derek can talk about himself in 3rd person without seeming crazy

You try talking in 3rd person

Everyone thinks you're crazy

Bashing down doors now seems fun

You think of the awesomeness of his vampires, and then laugh at other types of vamps

You want there to be a SkulPleas comic book

You'd tackle someone who actually had a SkulPleas comic book

You'd cry with joy if you got hold of the comic book… then you'd stop and actually read it then and there

Thank you to ValkyrieCain4Ever whose review reminded me to actually update! I won't give you the regualr excuses of schoolwork and stuff, but I will say that with the internet being down for at least two months, then the floods and everything else, it was kind of hard to update (though I now make up for it with an extra-long chapter).

Cheers to Amellia (if I even spelt the name right), who instead of a virtual cookie gave me virtual cornflakes, (but thats okay because cornflakes are awesome) but forgot the Milo.

Wish me Happy Birthday for Friday peoples!