Stark Industries was scarily peaceful for the next few days, everything was working to schedule and Pepper was actually rather enjoying her job for once, it kept her mind off the crap that kept following her around, despite how much painkiller she forced down her neck. Without the usual incoming deadlines and a grumpy Anthony Stark to chase around it could almost be considered a normal job. Three days into this normal job and it had started to hit her hard; this could be her life now, a normal, boring life.

The strawberry blonde paused as she reached to open the door to her masters office, glancing at the name plate on the door and gently resting her hand over her stomach, letting herself think for a moment that he'd actually be on the other side of it, waiting for her with the usual cocky grin and his arms wide open to her. Maybe if he had been there then this would be easier, maybe he'd have wanted to be a father? Without Tony there to ask she'd had to guess, praying that she'd made the right decision.

Just after the visit to the hospital she'd convinced Happy to take her to the nearest book store, which hadn't been that difficult, despite the fact she owned an E-book and almost swore by it. It was so much easier to cope with and to take care of; so far she hadn't managed to lose it. As soon as Pepper was out of the car she'd picked up the first decent book she'd found on pregnancy, quickly followed by another one for good luck, hiding them under the usual trashy magazines and romantic novels, intentionally picking up the hard covers so she could switch the dust jackets. (It was a trick she'd picked up from a book somewhere) Luckily for her the woman on the desk hadn't got a clue who she was, so didn't even question the choice of reading material.

The books had been hiding in Stark's office since they'd been brought back into the tower, it was the only place she knew that nobody would disturb her, the door refused to open to anyone else but her.

It was almost as if Tony wanted to keep his office, and what went on inside it a secret. Gently pushing the door open she let it swing closed behind her, smiling a little at the familiarity of the place, despite the pains welling up again just to remind her they were there. Taking no notice she marched inside, not needing to lock the door. As always it was a mess in here, books, paperwork and blueprints cluttering the floor, the desk covered in half-finished mechanics, and the mess of their last misuse of it. If walls could talk these would certainly have a tale to tell, stories of arguments, laughter and love, as well as their rampant sex life and the numerous times they'd almost been caught by Director Fury and the other Avengers, all those nights they'd spent asleep on the sofa or Tony had fallen asleep on the desk, head in his arms and mouth ajar when she'd found him in the mornings, wrapping him in a blanket and leaving him to sleep. Pepper couldn't help the smile, running her fingers along the edge of the desk, brushing over the scattered paperwork without bothering to tidy it, tidying this room would be like tidying him away, and she couldn't do that. Imagine how much he'd tell her off for moving his equipment?

Pepper stopped exactly in the centre of the desk, pulling the two books out from under the paperwork and tucking them under her arm, usually she'd have hugged them to her stomach but there was someone else in the way. With a slight smile she rested her hand on the bump, stoking her fingers over it through the thin dress she was hiding in, now she knew it was supposed to be there she wasn't quite so terrified any more, but that didn't stop it eating at her heart. Her Tony Stark, the same genius she'd fallen for within minutes wasn't here any-more.

"Daddy's coming back..." Pepper muttered aloud, unsure if she was talking to the bump or herself as she sat down, pulling the notepaper from her back that she'd brought with her, resting it on the book: "Daddy wouldn't leave me and you...He loves us too much... and anyway, he made you." The paper was for today's letter, whenever she had a spare moment she'd write to him, sometimes it was easier than trying to say it, even though she was quickly losing faith in him remembering a word she'd said, or knowing she was even there.

Her right hand was still resting on the bump as she started to write, the last thing she'd said resonating in her ears. He had made the baby that was now growing inside her, and she remembered exactly when and where. It had been an accident, of course, Tony had attempted to surprise her, and it had all gone wrong. Either he'd forgotten about her strawberry allergy or it had somehow slipped into the food, but somehow their romantic night out together had turned into a mess. He'd called the ambulance for her, his hand tight around hers once he'd shifted her into the recovery position.

Pepper had wanted to cry, it hurt like hell, her airways closing up inside her and there was nothing she could do, stupidly this was the one night she'd forgotten to throw her medication in her bag, despite the fact she carried it at all times usually. Tony had knelt down to her level, his hand gently stroking her cheek as he shushed her, breathing with her in an effort to keep her calm, his own worry etched across his face. Part of her was rather enjoying seeing him care for her for a chance, if on the circumstances had been different and she might have even pretend to be his damsel in distress.

From that moment on it was a blur of noise and movement, jumbled up with camera lenses and the grip on her hand that didn't seem to stop, had Tony held her hand through all of it? She'd have to ask him later.

Peppers next semi-permanent memory was of Stark with a needle in his hand, muttering something to her about how he was going to do it himself, because he knew how much she hated needles. Secretly she had no idea how he'd worked that one out, she'd never told him about it, fearing it would be a little bit too childish even for Tony. She hadn't resisted, just let him help her.

As soon as she could breath and the hives were starting to disappear from her cheeks he'd started to talk, somehow making her collapse into giggles despite how much she was struggling to breathe. Before she could stop him he'd climbed onto the bed with her not caring who was watching them as she apologised, saying the words over and over again, as if he was trying to convince her to believe he meant it. Any other day and she would probably have told him off, pushed him away and sulked for a while before finally accepting his words; she had a reputation to keep up. But right now she was tired, collapsing into his gentle touch as he kissed the hives on her cheek, obviously attempting to make them better.

Stark's actions were annoying her that much she lent forwards, grabbing for him and pushing their lips together, the sudden warmth and familiarity of it calming her down, despite how much of a mess she felt and looked in that moment. For once he didn't take over, but let her, giving her the chance to explore his mouth, reclaiming every inch of his mouth as her own. Nobody else was allowed to do this, control Stark.

But her power was short lived as he pushed her back, leading her down into the pillows of her hospital bed, swinging his legs over her. Pepper knew in that moment she'd have to scold him in the morning as they tried to get dressed before the nurses wanted to check on her again, but she craved him just as much as he craved her. It was gentle, soft and loving for once, there was nobody to rush them and no meetings to attend, just the two of them and the hospital machines. It was one of those moments that reminded her exactly why she was completely in love with Anthony Stark.

September 19 2012

Dear Tony,

I couldn't tell you any other way; I just had to write it. I'm three months gone.

Do you even know what happened three months ago? The night that you accidentally fed me strawberries and we ended up in the hospital, both of us giggling like children despite how much it hurt, I couldn't breathe and you made it worse! I remember you holding my hand whilst we waited to find out if I'd live or not, stealing the needles from the doctors to do it yourself because you knew how scared I was of needles.

The moment they were gone and I could breathe you pulled me into your arms and said sorry, looking like a kicked puppy as you tried to kiss my cheeks better. I ignored you and pushed our lips together, taking control of you for five minutes, you relaxed and threw me back.

Only after we'd finished did you tell me that had been on your bucket list.

I'm glad we did that.

I wish you'd shown me that list; I'd have let you do everything.

I miss you.

Virginia finished writing with a sign, surprised to find tear-drops trickling down each cheek, splashing onto the page in her hands. It seemed that the memories stopped her thinking about the pains in her body, or the emptiness in her heart.

There was nothing she wouldn't give to be back in his arms, back where she knew she belonged and knew she was loved.

Pulling her hand away from the bump she brushed away the sadness, cleaning herself up before folding up the letter, pressing her lips to it before tidying it away into his desk drawer, adding it to the pile that was growing inside there.

Without a second glance she curled around in the chair, tugging the blanket down from the back of it, wrapping it around herself and snuggling into the scent of him, calming herself down a little. Propping the book open on her knee and wrapping an arm across bump to protect it she settled down to read, pretending that it was his arms around her as she carried on her research into pregnancy.