A/N:Okay, okay, I just have ONE more paper due tomorrow or Sunday so ALMOST DONE and I thought I'd update for you.
I have got so many feels lined up for you, you have no idea.

The Walk

Shepard grit her teeth as she looked up at the long track in front of her, lined on either side by white guiderails. Her physical therapist was blabbering something in her ear until she finally turned back.

"Doc," she interrupted. "Walk down to the other end. Yeah. I've done it fifty times."

"Er. Right." He nodded. "Go ahead, then."

Shepard had finally put her foot down the day after the one year anniversary of the Reaper's defeat. She was done pussyfooting around. She had decided it was no longer appropriate to sit around moping in her hospital bed, and that her PT should be moving forward more quickly than it was. She could walk, she was sure of it - perhaps not unassisted - but she just needed them to give her the chance. And more than that, she was bored and tired of being in the hospital. She didn't want back in the field, not quite yet (and maybe never, if she stopped to think), but she just wanted out.

Shepard gripped the bars, staring at the end. She was at least standing on her own, she reasoned, as she tentatively picked up her foot and placed it in front of her. Encouraged that she wasn't falling over she repeated the motion.

The primary problem was still muscle mass. While hers regenerated far faster than most, thanks namely to Cerberus, it had still been slow to regain. Previously her legs had had difficulty supporting her weight, heavier namely from the Cerberus implants, but after they'd focused on regaining that muscle mass she was quickly remastering the art of walking without falling on her face.

The problem was of course making sure that the brain didn't continue to overcompensate.

She took five steps. This was the longest they'd tried to get her to walk, previously concerned about the interplay of her pinned femur and growing muscle base. But she was going to do it, even if she hurt like a bitch later. Because the only thing she wanted to do at the moment was escape the confines of the hospital and do something.

Shepard glanced up about halfway down the path, spotting Kaidan leaning up against the far wall. She grinned, ignoring the way her new muscles were protesting her attempts to walk. He grinned back.

When she made it to the end of the path she was breathing heavier than she would have liked, but she turned and grinned triumphantly at the therapist. He made a few notes in his datapad, looking suitably unimpressed.

"I want to try you with a cane next time," he said finally. "But I think we'll wrap it for the day.

Kaidan's heart nearly fell when she looked up at him, pain in her eyes. The therapist helped her back to her wheelchair and Kaidan waved him off. "I've got this."

"He has the bedside manner of a fucking log," Shepard snapped when they were out of earshot, resting her head in her hand. Kaidan reached down and rubbed her shoulder.

"You're walking, though," he said. "Do you remember when you tried to stand on your own and cut your back open? Do you think you would've been able to do this then?"

Shepard huffed. "Why do you have to be sparkles and sunshine all the time?"

Kaidan frowned. She was just upset because of her circumstances, he knew. She wanted to walk on her own again. She wanted to be up and about and doing things. She hated being confined to her bed or her wheelchair when not under direct supervision, and she hated everyone doing everything for her. She just wanted freedom back.

But it didn't make her question sting less.

"Because," he said finally, as they entered the elevator. "You're doing a piss-poor job at seeing how far you've come."

"I'm a very negative person. My cup is half-empty and has a hole at the bottom."

"Marra-"

"Just stop, Kaidan. Please."

He sighed. "All right just ... try to see how great you've been, all right?"

She echoed his sigh, lifting up a hand and resting it on his. "All right," she replied. "I'll try."

"That's all I can ask for." He kissed the top of her head and began to push the chair as the elevator doors opened to her floor.

#

A month later later, Shepard was finally allowed to walk with a cane without supervision, provided she didn't attempt to escape. They also moved her to a new room due to the doctors merely continuing to supervise her, with the promise that she might be out in anywhere from one to two weeks. Her new room had a far better view, and a week after her move that was exactly where she was sitting.

The Sol relay, and reportedly many others, were repaired. Some, mostly those furthest away from Sol, had received only minimal damage. While a few had reportedly been activated, there were no reports about whether or not the mercy or pirates that had used them survived.

She'd been worried that whatever had deactivated the Reapers and destroyed the Sol relay had lost energy on the way out, if it'd needed to travel across the entire galaxy, and that it may not have deactivated every Reaper. And back in her mind the Leviathans still lurked. But there had been no indication that Reapers hadn't been deactivated - in fact, all reports indicated that most of them had quickly traveled to Earth when the Citadel had been moved, leaving only their fellows on Tuchanka, Palaven and Thessia. And she thought that any Reapers out there would at least be weakened, and probably defeat-able when found.

Hopefully defeat-able, at least.

There was talk about, if the relay team survived their run through it, moving the Citadel back to the Widow Nebula as the last act of the Victory Fleet. Of course, a few of the remaining human politicians did not support this. Shepard had mentioned during Hackett's last visit that humanity keeping the Citadel in Alliance space would be an enduring mistake. The Citadel needed to be in neutral space, a neutral gathering area. What would happen when a war would undoubtedly break out, when each species slowly forgot the Reaper War's atrocity or another species rose into the galaxy without that knowledge? The next she knew, it was as if the human politicians protesting the Citadel's move changed their tune more rapidly than anything she'd ever seen. Out of no where, humanity added their vote to that of the other races, unanimously deciding to dedicate funds to determining how to relocate the mostly-repaired station.

It hadn't been hard, once the geth were reactivated. And somehow the Keepers, despite possessing Reaper technology and disappearing for several months just after the battle, had apparently survived the blast and nearly repaired the arms before the Victory Fleet, needing something to do, held them back onto the Presidium until the mechanisms for the ward arms could be repaired. People were even able to move back into their homes, and the Council had taken residence back up in the Citadel Tower.

The first team was going through the relay, and as she glanced at her open datapad, she allowed herself a small smile. The only thing the team going through the relay had asked for was a direct line to Shepard as well as Mission Command.

"You guys all right?" she asked into the vidscreen on her 'tool.

::Doing fine so far, ma'am.:: The ship was completely volunteer-crewed by veterans of a number of different species. The captain was a human who'd lost his entire family in the initial attack on Earth, his second-in-command a turian who had lost her entire squad and her entire family on Palaven. They didn't particularly care that it was likely a one-way trip. ::Coming up on the Sol Relay now.::

"Don't worry. You'll be fine."

::I'm sure we will be, ma'am.:: He glanced into the screen.

"Really, you can stop with the ma'aming. It makes me feel like my mother." She didn't know how often she'd had to tell him that.

The captain flashed a small grin in her direction.

::Entering the relay, sir. Calculating approach run and initiating transmission sequence.::

::Hands to posts. Prepare for anything.:: There was the distinct sound of the turian, somewhere in the back. She managed to spot her as she darted back behind the captain.

::Relay is connected. Calculating transit mass and destination.:: Shepard bit the inside of her lip. This was nerve-racking. ::Relay is hot. Acquiring approach vector.::

"You ready?"

::Never readier, Commander.:: The tension around his mouth belied it. After all, the last ship they'd sent through had been torn to shreds rather than successfully navigating the relay jump.

::Approach vector acquired. All stations secure for transit.::

The Captain found a seat, strapping in. Shepard closed her eyes.

If this didn't work . . .

::The board is green, approach run has begun.::

"Good luck, Captain."

::Glad to have you around, ma'am.:: This time the tension was in his voice. Shepard grinned.

"Wouldn't have missed it," she replied gently.

::Hitting the relay in three. Two. One.::

Shepard could almost feel the tug of the relay in her implants. Her commlink fizzled, the image collapsing into fuzzy static. "Captain?"

She, and likely everyone else linked into the ship, waited with baited breath. For what felt like an hour but was less than half a minute, the galaxy held its breath.

Then there was one shout on the other end. Not a shout like one was being torn apart and sucked into the vacuum of space, but one where someone who had been holding their breath released it in a loud whoop of triumph. It was followed by another as the commlink image re-established, and the captain's face swam into view.

::The ship went dark for a second,:: he explained, the tension almost completely gone around his mouth and eyes. ::But the mass effect core held, and we're through the relay.::

Someone on one of the other vid-feeds, probably what passed as mission control, shrieked triumphantly.

::We will have to test the other relays before further explorations can be done, but technicians are reporting that most were not as heavily damaged as Sol,:: Velarn interjected from one of the feeds. ::With a few further tweaks we should be capable of repairing the relay to a point where it will not short out mass effect cores the way your engineers are reporting. Give it a few hours to cool off, and attempt to come back through.::

::Aye-aye, sir.::

"Good job, Captain."

::Thank you, ma'am. And thanks for being along for it.::

"I wouldn't have missed it," she replied. He nodded. "Good luck coming back through."

::Thank you, ma'am.::

As the feed cut, Shepard leaned back in her seat and smiled. Finally. The relays being reactivated couldn't have come at a better time. The tenuous peace that had existed between the Victory Fleet was truly wearing thin. Each species wanted to get back to their own systems to fix, repair, and rebuild, and the tension had been starting to show. This was best for everyone.

Even if that meant it could be years before she'd see her friends again.

Shepard stared out over the skyline of Vancouver, still slowly fixing structural issues. That was all on humanity - the other races had only agreed to help get power, water, and other essential grids back online, and then only in the largest cities, and reliant on humanity's agreement to render assistance similarly once the relays were reopened. So the cranes in the distance were all human; the ships hovering and holding pieces of skyscrapers all marked with the Systems Alliance symbol. She opened a book on her omni-tool, leaning back in her chair, and quickly lost track of time.

"The launch went well." Shepard looked over her shoulder, closing the book she was reading on her omni-tool.

"Admiral."

Hackett grasped one of the chairs, spinning and dragging it to sit next to her. They were silent for a few moments, staring out over the rebuilding city.

"How are you feeling?"

"Well enough." She gave him a strong smile, though she knew that he would see through it. "I've been better. But I'm more than ready to get the hell out of here, sir."

He nodded. "I assume you want to be cleared for duty as quickly as possible?"

He must have caught the noticeable pause before her answer. "Yes."

"You sure, Commander?"

"Yes, sir."

Hackett leaned back against his chair, glancing from the window to her. "Back on the Normandy."

"I-if possible, sir."

Hackett was quiet for a while again. "Well," he finally continued. "The Alliance wants to promote you. Captain or Major, whichever you want. They say it's long overdue. I agree."

"Thanks. I think."

"Hell, I'd make you an Admiral. You've more than earned it, and with the Alliance stretched so thin..." He shook his head. "However, I'm not sure that clearing you for duty is-"

"I don't ..." Shepard swallowed heavily. "I'm not ready for the field. Not yet. Maybe not ever." If the Reapers had taken that from her, and she counted it her only loss, it was a fair trade. "But let me be on the Normandy." Hackett studied her, scarred face making him look far more intimidating that she knew he was. "I've grown up in two places - Arcturus and ships. Being out there, being on the Normandy, even if I'm not doing anything, would be a thousand times better than being stuck here, knowing I could be out there just ... doing logistics, or harassing crew. I need something, Admiral. I can't just sit here moping and if I make another scarf, I might strangle someone with it."

Hackett looked back out the window, silent for a long time. Finally he cleared his throat. "Problems seem to be at a minimum at the moment," he said finally. "However now that the relays are being proven safe for travel, they will likely increase. I will need the Normandy and the Ain Jalut out doing reconnaissance, you understand." She nodded, heart already beginning to sink, and opened her mouth. Hackett raised his hand. "I came here because I had another suggestion."

Shepard nodded, and he continued. "I'm worried about you. You're a hell of a soldier, and always have been. But all accounts seem to show that the Reapers dealt you a blow you will not recover from." Shepard swallowed and looked away. "But there are other ways for you to continue the work you've been doing."

"You want me to take the open seat on the Council."

Hackett nodded. "We need someone there dedicated to humanity but cognizant of the other species' existence. Anderson was an excellent councilor, but ..."

"Admiral, I am not a diplomat."

"Aren't you? Curing the genophage then wrestling the salarians into aiding us despite it, ending the quarian-geth war through an armistice, bringing the Terminus clans in beside Council forces ... You united a galaxy, Shepard. You limit yourself by not recognizing your skill for diplomacy."

"It's not that. It's that diplomacy is a lot easier when you're carrying a shotgun."

Hackett chuckled. "The shotgun is your name, Commander. Who would threaten forces knowing that they have you behind them?" She was quiet. He looked back out the window. "You would retire as a full Admiral. It's the least the Alliance can do. If you ever chose to leave or were removed from office , as Anderson did, you would return as an Admiral, if you wanted. Hell, you could decide to sit on a beach in the Caribbean for the rest of your life and no one would claim you owed them anything."

"I don't expect that to happen," Shepard said ruefully. Hackett chuckled.

"No, neither do I."

They were silent for a while, Hackett studying the activity outside as Shepard stared at the wall. She finally cleared her throat. "I don't know. Maybe someday. But right now, I'm too ... I don't know."

"Just think about it," Hackett replied. "The acting councilor is doing a fair job for the moment. We're just in agreement that you may be a better fit for the role."

Shepard cast him a dubious look. "Sir, aren't you the current acting councilor?"

"Like I said, we both think you could do a better job." He stood and gently rested his hand on her shoulder. "Non-humans respect, even love you. The geth and the krogan all-but worship you. At least consider it."

"I will, sir." Shepard didn't look back as he walked to the door, preparing to leave, or as it swung open before he could reach it. "Major."

"Admiral." As Hackett left, Kaidan kissed the side of her head and took the admiral's vacant seat. "How's today?"

"We've made it through the mass relay," Shepard replied brightly. "So it's a good day."

He opened his arms, and she used her cane to lever herself to her feet long enough to swivel and settle down on his lap. "You're getting good with that," he commented as she settled herself against his chest, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm practicing," she replied. "I want out of here, Kaidan."

"Mm," he replied. "I know. And you'll be out of here before you know it."

"That's not what I mean. I've been ground side too long." She lifted her head. "I like this. I really do. Being on a planet, not worried that a random hull breech might be the death of me. But that's all I've known. I want to be back out there."

Kaidan nodded, hooking his fingers together over her hip. "Then I guess it's no good asking if you want the orchard house. Mom offered it to us."

Shepard sighed. "Maybe. I don't know. It's ..."

"Hackett brought all this up? What'd he want?"

She sighed again and adjusted slightly, burying her face more against his neck. "He wants me to take the Council seat."

"You turned him down?"

"I need time to think."

"Fair. Did you ask him to let you back on the Normandy?"

She nodded. "He may. I don't know. I just want to be somewhere that isn't here. Somewhere with you."

He smiled and reached up to tilt her head, gently pressing his lips to hers for the smallest second. "Don't worry, you will be. Also, we need to talk about getting married."

"Right." She sighed. "I'm a captain, right? I can preside over a marriage?"

He chuckled. "I don't think you can preside over your own."

"Damn. In light of that I say a nice, quiet ceremony with just the crew and our mothers. Or just our mothers. I don't want any big thing, I don't want media or anyone to even know it happened until afterwards." Kaidan hummed and let his fingers trail through her hair, finally back to its original length. He remembered how thrilled she'd been to finally have it back. "I just want us."

"As much as I want to make nearly every man and a sizable number of women and asari jealous ..." He grinned when she laughed, nuzzling his neck. "I think we can do that."

"Good," she replied. "My life has been enough of a media circus."

A/N:

dreamseeker: I KEEP MEANING TO STALK AND FLAIL OVER YOU so I'll do that.