So sorry I've been a fail at updating, but I hope to have this updated again by Sunday, and my other two fics will more than likely be updated by Monday night.

I still don't own anything but Savannah and Ada.

Penny knew that there were some women who were greatly intimidated at the thought of nursing their children. Others refused to actually have the baby at their breast, and fed on formula, or pumped, and Penny didn't really understand. For her, nursing was a way of relieving stress, or clearing her mind, or just plain relaxing. It was just her and her baby, and that was all that mattered for a few minutes. The Penny of several years ago would have been worried about the nursing lowering the aesthetic value of her breasts, but upon giving birth to Savannah four years ago, her maternal instinct had been awakened and she no longer cared. She adored these minutes of closeness with Ada that she hadn't had in almost three years – Savannah had self – weaned at fourteen months – and anyway, Leonard loved her no matter what.

Now, Penny was curled up on the couch, her head resting on the arm, her own arms holding her daughter in place. Her eyes were only half open, and she couldn't remember what song she'd been humming when she'd taken the fussing Nevada out of the crib. It didn't really matter; Ada was very content at the moment, and Penny was taking advantage of the contentedness by allowing herself to feel the same way.

She'd woken with a start again the previous night after two days of nothing, and thankfully this time Leonard didn't awaken with her. He already woke up every time Ada cried; she didn't need him worrying about her, too. So she lied, and she told him that her night scare was a one time thing.

Ada finished nursing and Penny sat up and kissed her youngest on the forehead. "What a good girl you are, Ada," Penny told her, rubbing her nose against the baby's. "Will you burp for Mommy?"

Penny's phone chirped, and she picked it up off the pilot and looked at the screen. She smiled. "Hey, Bernadette!"

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Penny admitted. "So tired. But I get to spend the day with Ada, so it's not all bad."

"That's good," Bernadette said. "So Amy and I were wondering if you'd like to go out somewhere tomorrow. Grab lunch."

"I can't leave Ada here by herself," Penny said.

"You can bring her."

Penny hesitated. She couldn't imagine having enough energy to get down the stairs, much less actually go out somewhere. "Why don't you come here?" she asked. "Both of you. I'm still not feeling up to going somewhere, but I'd like to see you guys."

"Sure," Bernadette said. "Is noon okay?"

"Sounds good to me," Penny said, smiling as Ada burped. "I'll see you then."

Penny carried Ada back into the girls' room and settled her down in the crib. The baby squirmed and looked up at her mother. "Sweet baby," Penny said, putting her hand down for Ada to grab. "Nevada Penny Hofstadter," she said aloud, enjoying the sound of her daughter's name. After a few moments, her smile faded, as it always did when she thought of her youngest's full name.

Savannah followed her mother back to the master bedroom after Ada's one o' clock feeding. "Mommy, I can't sleep."

"Shhh," Penny said, motioning to Leonard, who was sleeping soundly. "Don't wake Daddy, he has work tomorrow."

"But I can't sleep," she said, dropping her voice to a whisper.

"Okay," Penny said, taking her hand. "Let's go to bed in here, okay?"

Savannah nodded. "Okay."

Penny crawled into bed and scooted toward the middle, closer to Leonard. Savannah hauled herself up next to her mother, and Penny curled her arms around the girl. "There we go," she said, kissing Savannah's forehead. "Try to sleep, baby girl."

"Love you," Savannah murmured sleepily, cuddling against her mother.

"I love you too," Penny said, rubbing the four year old's back. "I love you very much."

Penny felt Savannah drifting off to sleep, and the steady, easy breathing of the people on either side of her made Penny relax, too. Her eyelids dropped and she felt herself nodding off into the kind of sleep she hadn't had in what seemed like forever.

Then, Savannah jerked in her sleep, her knee coming up and unconsciously hitting her mother square in the stitches. Penny reacted, jerking away from the impact and shaking the bed slightly. A sharp pain shot through her, temporarily paralyzing Penny with the shock and bringing tears to her eyes, and even before it subsided, everything came rushing back.

Leonard had awoken when she recoiled from Savannah's knee, and he looked over his shoulder at her. "Penny? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Penny said, not looking at him. "Savannah couldn't sleep. She's with us."

Leonard sat up and looked over Penny to see their little blonde girl curled up contentedly. "Aw," he said, putting a hand on Penny's shoulder. "She looks so happy."

Penny felt she had blinked enough to hide her tears in the darkness, so she looked over at Leonard. "Yeah. She just needed to be farther from the crib." She smiled at him. "Go back to sleep, honey, we're fine."

"Okay," Leonard said, bending down and kissing her jawline. "You're sure everything's okay?"

"Absolutely," Penny said, and Leonard believed her.

When she felt his breathing coming steadily and knew he had fallen back to sleep, Penny put her hands over her face and let out a heavy breath. Knowing where her night terrors were coming from didn't make them any less real.

Because they were real.

They were flashbacks.