AN: Thanks for reviews! It's great how many people love this story so quickly, and criticism is very valuable too. The more room for improvement the better. :)
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Chapter 5:
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A few days later Alice explained the situation to her bestfriend Zafrina. Zafrina had gotten a job at the same Starbucks and currently she was wiping down the espresso machine with a special cloth while Alice stood by and relayed the particulars of her problem. The tall black woman nodded but she seemed equally distracted by the indignity of her menial position in a coffeeshop.
"Can't believe I'm working as a waitress," she said. "Why did I bother going to college again?"
"It's hard times on everyone, Zaf."
"Sure is."
"So what do you think I should do about Bella? I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but I'm not sure I can live without her."
"You probably could."
"I already miss her and I haven't even left."
Zafrina sighed and stopped polishing the machine. The chrome was sparkling in the early sun through the windows and the shop was mostly empty at this time of day.
"I don't know, Ally," Zafrina said. "But maybe…"
"Maybe what?"
"Well, maybe she's right. You've been dreaming about going to Paris for years. It's your career. You wanna work in a coffeeshop forever?"
Zafrina levelled a skeptical look across the empty tables, the couple of patrons, the waitresses in aprons restocking the pastry cases. Alice didn't have the same contempt for the line of work her friend had but she saw the point.
"No," she said. "But I don't wanna be alone forever either."
"She did say she'd be willing to go long distance."
"Long distance never works out."
"Sometimes it does."
"No, it doesn't."
"Yeah, probably not."
"So basically I have two choices. Go to Paris and lose Bella. Or stay with Bella and lose Paris."
Zafrina nodded as if that about summed it up. Alice sighed.
"I just wish I had met her a little earlier," she said. "It would be a much easier decision if we were already living together or something."
"Well, you're a long way from that. You don't even know where she lives."
"Yeah, I guess."
"I don't know, Alice, maybe she isn't even ready for a serious relationship. Not with another woman, anyway. She's too secretive. Too hesitant to let you in."
Alice looked down at her hands. Zafrina put a hand on her shoulder.
"Maybe this Paris thing is right on time," she said. "It's the perfect out. Before things get really serious and heart breaking."
"You really think she's not ready?"
"I don't know. I mean, she seems great. She really does. But she does keep you at a distance. So either she's not ready or she's hiding something."
"What could she be hiding?"
"Who knows. Maybe she's married with five kids."
"Yeah. That would be exactly my luck."
Zafrina chuckled once and resumed polishing the espresso machine, running the cloth along all the knobs and dials, the etched nameplates, the entire contraption like the helm of some old Italian steamboat. Alice heaved another sigh.
"So what am I going to do, Zaf?"
"It's up to you. But if you really like her so much, maybe you need to have a serious talk with her. Tell her how you feel. Ask for some kind of commitment. Find out if she really is ready."
"What if I scare her away?"
"Then you go to Paris."
"I could always just look for an internship here in the states."
"You can't throw away your dream for just half a relationship, Alice."
The bell over the door rang and a group of customers came in, four women with shopping bags and scarfs around their necks. Zafrina glanced over and then turned back to Alice.
"Come on, you get better back to work," she said. "We'll talk about this later, alright? Better yet, talk about it with Bella. She's the only one who can tell you if she's ready or not."
Alice nodded and fixed a smile on her face to greet the arrivals as they came over to the counter.
That day was another gym day with Bella. They worked up a good sweat together, chatting about this and that, but it didn't seem like a good time to bring up what she really wanted to talk about. It would have to be a serious conversation that required more attention than breathless banter between treadmills with one ear plugged up by an iPod.
In the locker room they went for showers and dried off and got changed side by side. Alice hitched up her jeans and noticed Bella sneak a peek at her butt. The woman seemed to have a thing for her butt. It made Alice smile and after stowing her gym bag in the locker she pushed the door closed and turned back to Bella.
"Listen," she said. "Do you think we can talk tonight?"
Bella was brushing her hair quickly. "About what?"
"A lot of things. I've been thinking a lot about my internship, and, uh… Well, bottom line, I don't want to go. I mean, I do, but I don't want to leave. So…"
Bella lowered the hairbrush and looked at her. Alice felt her face heat a little.
"Well, I was just hoping we could talk," she said.
Bella nodded and gave her long dark hair another pass with the brush before tossing the brush into her locker. "You're right, maybe we should. I gotta get home right now, but I can come over later."
"Why don't I just meet you at your place?" Alice asked before she could stop herself.
It was probably the wrong time to bring this up as well. Bella paused as she was closing her locker and her reluctance was so obvious that Alice frowned.
"Bella?"
"I got a better idea," Bella said, and then smiled. "Italian."
"Italian?"
"Yeah, let's go somewhere nice. I'll pick you up at eight, okay?"
Alice looked at her for a long moment. This was the woman she wanted to throw away her internship for and she wouldn't even invite her over to her place. Alice snorted and turned away.
"Forget it," she said. "I don't feel like it tonight."
"Alice—"
"I said forget it. I don't know what you're trying to hide from me, Bella, but I'm not going to put up with it much longer. Either let me into your life or let me go. Give me a call when you figure it out."
A few half naked women looked over at the outburst. Bella was embarrassed but Alice only turned away and stalked out of the locker room.
Her car was in the parking lot, a small chrome Volkswagen Beetle, and she slammed the door as she got in. She was so upset that for a few minutes she only sat there and shook her head. She couldn't understand what the big secret was. What possible reason could a woman have to hide where she lives? Was it in a bad neighbourhood? Did she have some embarrassing roommate? It wasn't because she was homeless or anything. She had a great job and lots of expensive clothes and shoes. So why then did she…
Alice's train of thought evaporated as she noticed Bella across the parking lot through the windshield. She was getting into her own car, a navy blue SUV, and she hadn't noticed Alice sitting there.
Alice straightened up in the car seat as she watched that SUV pull out of its space and turn into the road. On its way home. A crazy idea occurred to her and she quickly turned the key in her own vehicle and pulled out of the parking lot and started following the SUV.
Already a queasy feeling was building in her stomach as she kept a slight distance from the SUV. She didn't like doing this. Too close to stalking. But she felt she had no choice. It wasn't normal to be so secretive. Under other circumstances Alice would have given Bella as much time as she needed to open up but there just wasn't time. She had to make a decision about Paris as soon as possible.
The SUV drove through the city for a long time and then turned south on the Queensgate Bridge. Alice made sure not to get too close. The bright chrome Beetle wasn't the most nondescript car on the road. She was surprised Bella hadn't noticed her already. The queasy feeling was getting worse. It would be so embarrassing if Bella actually caught her.
The SUV had cleared the bridge and it was continuing into the suburbs out here on the island. Alice didn't know what to make of that. Did Bella live in a house? Alice knew she made a lot of money, far more than Alice did, but houses were expensive. Even renting one. Especially when you were single. There were far fewer cars on the road out here and it was becoming difficult to follow. Alice hung back at the corner, her stomach turning, and then she emerged onto the road again, almost an entire block behind the SUV. She was going past fine homes with fruit trees in the yards and flowerbeds and two car garages. Picket fences. Hedges. Did Bella really live out here?
Finally the SUV slowed and turned into a certain driveway. Alice was partway down the block and she slowed and came to a halt as well as she stared out the windshield. The queasiness in her stomach was intensifying into nausea. Two young boys had been in that driveway, playing basketball with a hoop fixed to the garage door, and now they scattered to make way for the SUV as the SUV paused to wait for the garage roof to rise. One of the boys was smiling and waving at the driver's window.
Alice was opened mouthed and at first she wondered if she had lost Bella somewhere back in the city and had started trailing some other navy blue SUV instead. But then the SUV continued into the garage and parked and the driver's side door opened for the driver to get out. Bella. She was wearing her skirtsuit and high heels but she caught the basketball that one of the boys threw at her and dribbled it a little bit out into the driveway. The garage door was closing, lowering the hoop, and she threw a few hoops with those two boys while the two boys laughed and tried to block her.
Alice was parked halfway down the block. The scene seemed very small and far away. She sat there for a long time, watching, uncomprehending, and after fifteen minutes or so Bella began to clap her hands and order the boys inside. It was getting late by now and the sun was starting to set. A deep orange dusk hung over the neighbourhood. Alice watched all three of them troop inside and after that the street was entirely empty. Silent. No wind. Not a leaf on any of the trees along the sidewalk stirring in the heavy afternoon stillness.
For a long time she just sat there in her car. Bella had once mentioned she had a sister. Maybe those were her sister's kids. Maybe it was her sister's house. Maybe she lived with her sister and that's why she couldn't bring Alice over. Maybe she was embarrassed. Or maybe her sister didn't approve. Alice didn't know. None of this made sense. Her head had begun to throb softly and by now it wasn't queasiness or nausea in her stomach. She felt outright sick. What was going on here? What was Bella really hiding?
Alice shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose.
Then she opened the door and got out of the car.
Taking a deep breath she crossed the street and continued down the sidewalk. Toward the house where Bella apparently lived. The house was two stories and there were large baywindows in the front. A children's bicycle lay on the lawn. A soccer ball. Alice squinted at the sun. A bank of purple clouds and a deep drain of red and orange at the end of the road. She turned back to the house and navigated the lane toward the porch with a seeping feeling in her stomach. The door was oak and it had a small brass knocker. Alice stood on the porch, mustering her strength, and then she knocked.
She waited in a daze and after a minute the door opened.
To reveal a man in a polo shirt and flip-flops.
"Hi," he said. "What can I do for you?"
Alice blinked and tried to slow the spinning of her head. The man was tall and muscular and he had short dark hair and a friendly smile. When she spoke her voice came out very quietly.
"Does Bella live here?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm her husband. What's up?"
Alice let out a breath and reeled backward. The man chuckled and reached to steady her.
"Whoa, you okay?"
His hand was hovering about an inch from her shoulder. As if he wouldn't presume to touch her but still wanted to make the gesture. Alice swallowed something in her throat and shook her head and opened her mouth to reply when a different voice came from inside the house.
"Baby, who is it?"
Bella's voice. Calling this man baby.
Bella appeared in the doorway beside him and her face drained as she laid eyes on Alice.
"Oh my god," she said.
The man raised his eyebrows and looked between them. Alice's eyes had filled with tears and now she wheeled away and staggered off across the lawn.
"Alice!" Bella called. "Alice, wait!"
Alice felt a hand grab her arm and she snatched it away and spun around.
"Husband, Bella? Husband?!"
Bella also had tears in her eyes and she was already skirting toward hysteria. "I'm so sorry, Alice. I wanted to tell you. So many times I wanted to tell you. But I just couldn't. I didn't want to hurt you."
"This whole time. This whole time you were married."
"Yes, but…"
Alice laughed in shock. A joyless titter that shredded Bella's insides. Jake was standing there on the porch, watching them in concern, and Bella tried to touch Alice's shoulder.
"Alice, I…"
Alice flinched away from the hand and then bent over with her hands on her knees.
"Oh god," she said. "I think I'm going to be sick."
"Alice, it's complicated."
"Complicated."
"Alice, I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I needed to be sure. I couldn't destroy my marriage, my family, over something that might've just been a phase. But it wasn't a phase. I love you, Alice. You have to believe me."
Bella reached again for Alice's shoulder and again Alice flinched away.
"You know, Bella," she said. "I thought you were different. I really did. But you're not. You're worse than every woman I ever dated. And that's saying a lot."
"Alice…"
"Get away from me. Don't ever talk to me again."
Bella stood there on the lawn as Alice stumbled onto the sidewalk and continued toward her car. She watched the girl retreat until she had gotten into the car and then the car pulled away from the curb and turned around and started up the block toward the city.
Jake gone down from the porch and now he was standing beside Bella.
"So that was Alice?" he asked.
Bella nodded blankly. Jake was watching the Volkswagen disappear around the corner and then he glanced at Bella with a small quirk of a smile.
"She's hot," he said.
Bella gave him a look that was something like an eyeroll and then she trudged back into the house.
For the rest of the night she hardly spoke a word but the kids didn't seem to notice anything wrong. She had sent a couple texts and called a few times but she didn't expect Alice to reply and Alice didn't.
After dinner Jake went a put to movie on for the kids while Bella stacked the dishes in the washer. She was drying her hands with a dishtowel when Jake came in.
"You should probably get an early night tonight, babe," he said.
"What about the kids?"
"I'll put em to bed. You just get some rest."
Bella sighed and tossed the dishtowel onto the counter. He was watching her with genuine sympathy and she felt echoes of old love among the waves of guilt and self-loathing. Finally she nodded.
"Thanks, Jake," she said, and kissed his cheek as she went past.
Sleep didn't come easily that night but she was glad to just be in bed. In the dark. Here in the dusty spare room with her sockfeet hanging outside the tiny bed. She had tried calling Alice again but again Alice didn't answer.
Out in the corridor she could hear Jake putting the kids to bed. Joking around with them. Explaining that mommy had a headache. The door to the spare room was open just a crack and he peeped in as he went by as if Bella was yet another child.
"You gonna be okay, Bells?" he asked quietly.
Bella was laying on her side and she could see his silhouette. "I don't know."
Jake hesitated in the doorway and then he came in and knelt by the bed. "Look," he said. "Just give her some time to cool off, alright? She'll understand why you had to lie. I mean, it wasn't the smartest thing in the world you could do, but it was a difficult thing you were going through. If someone like me can understand, I'm sure someone like her can too."
Bella looked at him and blinked back tears in the dimness.
"I'm so sorry, Jake," she whispered.
Jake chuckled once and stroked her hair.
"Me too," he said. "Sleep tight."
Then he placed a kiss in her hair and rose and pulled the door closed on his way out.
Over the next week she gave Alice some space. She kept hoping for a call but no call came. The anxiety got worse and worse until finally, during her lunchbreak, she went to the Starbucks were Alice worked.
The bell rang as she pushed open the glassdoor and again as it swung closed. She scanned the waitresses but she couldn't see Alice. Instead she saw the tall black woman she had met a couple times before. Zafrina.
Zafrina had noticed Bella as she came in and she was glaring with dark ebony eyes as she wiped down a table. Bella went over.
"Hey," she said. "Is Alice here?"
"No."
"Well, where is she?"
"She's in Europe. And if beating the shit out of people wasn't illegal I'd throw you through that plateglass window right now. So why don't you just get out and don't come back."
Bella nodded at that vaguely. She turned to leave but then she turned back.
"If you talk to her, can you tell her one thing?"
Zafrina glared with her arms folded. "What?"
"That I loved her and I never meant to hurt her."
"Fine," Zafrina said. "Now get out."
Bella nodded and flickered a weak smile and then she turned and pushed out of the coffeeshop with the door tingling and sweeping closed behind her.
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AN: Shorter chapter, but how could I resist a cliffy like that? Of course, in a novel you wouldn't have to wait three days, lol. Still, perfect place for a scene break. Alice found out and jumped ship. Bit rash, but obviously she's very hurt. New chapter soon. :)