A/N: This required the use of math, and that math didn't even end up in here. You should love me.

The Great Move

Moving the Citadel was going to easily be the most tedious and technically challenging thing any race had ever done.

Essentially, it required every ship in the fleet that was still present to attach tow lines to the closed Citadel, the remaining dreadnoughts concentrated near the rear for pulling it forward and frigate-class ships in front to help steer, while every ship transmitting the same combined mass with slightly altered approach vectors. If the station was even half an inch off when it went through the relay, it could have disastrous consequences for the ships towing it.

That was why the fore-most ship, directing each ship to increase or decrease speed accordingly and making sure the massive station stayed on route as if one had been drawn was the Normandy.

It was mostly because only a fully-functional AI with the genius computing capacity of EDI could ensure that they stayed precisely on course, and only a pilot like Joker could ensure that the ships all managed to make the jump to her precise coordinates. Every helmsman in the fleet was linked into his terminal and he could be heard barking into his comm link to them every few seconds. His hapless new copilot, Lieutenant Jared Larcher, sat staring helplessly at his console, afraid to touch it lest Joker threaten to rip his fingers out of their sockets.

Shepard sat in EDI's usual chair, staring blankly outside of the viewports. Kaidan was busy in the war room, coordinating with the other fleets, and EDI was in the AI core so she could better process.

::Destiny Ascension, you are off course by .000083 milimeters. Please bring your course in with the Orizaba.:: EDI's voice rang through the cockpit again.

"Shepard, you know what is crazier than this?" Joker asked. Shepard shook her head. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"Come on, Joker. Afraid you can't pull it off?"

"Hey it isn't me I'm worried about. Check out all the idiots we're trying to manage." He glared at his console. "I'm talking about you too, Chodzie."

"EDI's assured me that this will work. In fact, she's assured me of that a lot. We just have to make sure everything and everyone acts as she directs, and we'll be fine. It shouldn't be that bad."

Joker huffed and scratched at his forehead briefly. "I'll be happy when we get through the goddamn relay. Coming up on Jupiter. Hey, looks like it's still stormy, Major."

Shepard rolled her eyes and looked back out the viewport, watching as they moved past the planet. It was three days into the move, which meant neither she nor Joker had gotten much sleep. With a sigh she settled back in her chair, reading through her omni-tool. Joker glanced over, switching off his comm.

"Yeah, so, how's the wedding planning going?"

"Shut up," Shepard growled.

"It isn't as if you aren't already hitched. And don't try to deny that, Mrs. Alenko, I was there."

She scowled at him, though it turned into a half-grin at what he'd called her. She still had to get used to being Kaidan's wife. "I'm undermining everyone's attempts to make it about them."

"Well good, isn't it supposed to be all about you anyway? I mean, that's just what I've heard."

Shepard huffed.

"So how's it going?"

"Kasumi's getting me a dress and I told the Council that they need five hundred extra cake slices to account for a 'human tradition of desserts.'"

Joker snickered. "But between you and Kaidan, that's last what, five days?"

Shepard raised her eyebrows in silent agreement. "Also, that I wouldn't even look at the aisle if my entire crew wasn't there."

"Any other 'human traditions' I should know about?"

"Cheese plates."

"Where the hell are they going to find cheese?"

"Exactly."

Joker snickered. "Shepard, you're an evil bitch."

"Well, I didn't stop the Reapers by teaching them to love. Either way, they'll sadly realize that half of them are wrong. Or Hackett will tell them."

He snorted, then straightened and reopened his comm. "All right, we're headed through the asteroid belt. Everyone look sharp, they don't move fast but it'll take us a few hours to get through."

True to Joker's word the asteroid belt took approximately six hours to traverse at the speed they were going and two frigates, a cruiser and a dreadnought took enough damage to need to retreat. That caused them to move even slower, having lost a large part of their pushing power, but EDI assured them that they would be able to make it through the Relay.

Nearly a day later, Kaidan wrestled both Shepard and Joker away for a decent night's sleep. Then the Charon Relay pulled into view, repaired and slowly orbiting the once-planet Pluto. The tension in the fleet could be felt even several ships away, and the cockpit of the Normandy was mostly silent as the fleet and the hulking station drew to a stop, the dreadnoughts pulling back to halt it.

::We will proceed towards the relay at thirty percent speed,:: EDI said. ::I will transmit precise vectors to each ship and updated transit mass. We will then negotiate the Arcturus relay with similar calculations.

::From there, we will proceed to return the Citadel to its approximate location, four-hundred thousand kilometers from the Widow Nebula Relay. Approach vectors must be precisely acquired, or the potential for damage to towing ships is increased. I am transmitting vectors now. Inform Lieutenant Moreau when you are prepared.::

"Ours is the same as the Citadel's, fortunately," Joker explained, beginning to input them.

"And what are the odds EDI gave us for success?"

"Getting jumpy, Commander?"

Shepard shook her head. "Just forgot what they were, is all."

"Infinity to one. Essentially."

She nodded. "We've done more with less."

"It's funny, I don't remember jumping the Citadel halfway across the galaxy."

"It isn't halfway. It's only a few systems." Shepard pursed her lips. "We just have to jump through the Arcturus relay after this, and then we'll be in the Widow Nebula. Then it's just a matter of maneuvering."

"Halfway," Joker reiterated, then tapped on his screens. "Getting people reporting in," he said. "Dreadnoughts reporting readiness."

There had initially been an idea to just throw the Citadel at the Relay, but then someone had reminded everyone that an asteroid only slightly larger than the station had destroy the Aratoht Relay and it was promptly overruled as an idea. Shepard shook her head as Joker continued to relay readiness reports from the other ships.

"Sounds like everyone's ready," he said. She nodded, opened her omni-tool, and typed out a quick message. "Just waiting on EDI."

::Jeff, begin the approach.::

"Roger that, EDI." He flicked a switch. "Normandy to all ships, beginning approach run. Get your approach vectors in order."

Shepard's omni-tool beeped, and she glanced down at the message and smiled slightly.

"Stop sexting your husband and give me moral support," Joker replied, as he pulled off his hat and hung it on the back of the chair. Shepard raised a finger at him, and he chuckled.

::SSV Lepzig, you're veering .000093 millimeters to the left.::

::Correcting.:: Some members of the fleet hadn't been happy that they were essentially under an AI's command. In fact, many had been upset by this - and most of them had been quite vocal about it. Shepard was fairly certain those feelings would linger for a long time, and she did feel badly for it. For an AI who had developed a wicked sense of humor and could explode a banshee from the inside out with a flick of her wrist EDI was, somehow, a genuinely nice individual.

::Asari Cruiser Naimai, move .0021 to the right.::

::Copy.::

::Normandy, turian frigate Herit has lost its tow.::

"Pull out, then," Joker retorted. Shepard snorted. "Shut up."

As they pulled closer to the relay and Joker rattled off the approach sequence and EDI continued to correct the tiniest distances off, Shepard found herself holding her breath, almost unconsciously. This was projected to do one of three things: destroy the relay, firstly; destroy the Victory Fleet, secondly, if it didn't destroy the Relay; destroy the Citadel, which would inherently destroy the Fleet; and, way at the bottom of the list in tiny-ass print, actually work. That had all its own subcategories: working without catastrophic loss of ships and life, and working with catastrophic loss of ships and life, and then whatever fell in between.

Not for the first time, Shepard wondered if it wouldn't have been better to leave the Citadel, maybe build a new station. But no, that wouldn't be ideal. People, despite the fact that it had been a Reaper death trap, still considered the Citadel home. They steadfastly refused to leave, and Shepard couldn't let it stay in Alliance space. She didn't trust humans, after she and the other survivors of the Reaper War were dead.

The Normandy suddenly lurched, and Joker swore as Shepard felt the familiar lurch of the relay in her implants. A welcome feel despite what they were doing and the tone her pilot had suddenly adopted.

"Fleet, Normandy's lost her tow!"

::Relay's attached, we can't drop back.::

Shit. If the Normandy's cable snapped . . . it wasn't the end of the world, but if there was no ship keeping the nose of the Citadel in line - Shepard jumped on the comm. "Strap in. Now!" That would mean that their course had been altered, which would mean they'd enter the relay at a random angle - "Can you correct i-"

"I don't know!"

::SSV Ain Jalut, Hastings, new vectors transmitted.:: EDI's voice was still calm, though Shepard knew she was moving at flying speeds to correct for the loss of the Normandy in the equation.

"EDI, they'll never corre-"

::Be quiet, Jeff.::

The Normandy was flung through the relay.

Joker fought to straighten the ship out, having nearly entered the relay sideways, and they were flung back out into the Arcturus system. He swore vehemently when the angle of their entrance into the relay and his inability to fully correct in time meant that, rather than his usual perfect precision, they were thrown straight out into the middle of the Arcturus Station rubble field.

Joker's language, a steady stream of invectives to a comm thankfully muted by a swift knock with Shepard's cane to the appropriate button, accompanied what she recognized easily as the ability to calculate and re-calculate at the speed of light that made him the best pilot in the fleet. So even as she held onto the arms of her chair, she knew that he would at least do his damndest to keep them from smashing into the old Parliament building as it floated lifelessly past them.

The copilot reached for a field. "Keep your fucking hands off that panel," Joker barked, prompting the copilot to press himself back into his chair and close his eyes. A piece of Arcturus' framework slammed into the side of the ship and an alarm blared, and Joker swore again.

When they finally cleared the debris field and Joker sat back and released a slow breath, the copilot was staring at him with wide eyes.

Shepard released her own held breath, then chuckled."That went better than last time." Joker glanced over at her. "At least we didn't crash onto a giant space station teeming with at least a hundred thousand enemy combatants."

Joker echoed her chuckle, leaning his head back on his seat. "Jesus H. Fuck," he muttered, glancing over his screens.

"Did the Fleet make it?"

Joker shook his head, then leaned forward and checked a screen. ::Excellent flying, Jeff,:: EDI complimented.

"Thanks. Did it all without your help this time."

There was a replying half-laugh over the comm. ::I will let you believe what you want. The Citadel has successfully passed through the relay with the fleet intact. Shall we send Lieutenant Cortez out with a new tow line?::

Joker nodded. "Yeah. I'll rendezvous."

::Good to see you in one piece, Normandy,:: Hackett interrupted. ::Just Arcturus left. We ready?::

::We're here now. We'd better be.:: There was the turian Primarch, Victus, just as Shepard would have expected. He was directing the turian fleet with Sparatus' help, and in direct command of it during the Citadel Move.

"We're sending out Steve with a new tow line," Joker said. "We'll be back on the nose. Everyone should probably check their tows while we're at it." He clicked off his comm and glanced over at Shepard. "And I'm sure half the fleet commanders need to change their pants."

She grinned, glancing over her shoulder as running steps announced someone's approach. Kaidan dodged through the doorway, skimming both Shepard and Joker. "You're all right?"

"We're fine," Shepard replied. Kaidan walked over and leaned down, kissing her gently. "Nothing even caught fire this time."

"You aren't going to do that to me are you?" Joker asked as Kaidan took a step back. He eyed the helmsman thoughtfully.

"You shouldn't knock it 'till you try it," he replied.

"Jesus, Kaidan, no. Just no. Larcher, take the helm, I need to go vomit."

"Really, sir?"

Joker glared at him, which seemed to be enough of an answer, and the copilot sank back into his chair. Shepard chuckled and patted Kaidan's arm. "Head on back and do Spectre-y things. Hopefully the next relay jump will be less exciting."

Kaidan kissed the side of her head and nodded. "You be careful, all right?"

"Always," Shepard replied. He turned and headed back for the war room, and she looked over in time to see Joker crinkle his nose. "What?"

"I liked it better when you two were pretending we all didn't know."

Shepard poked his chair with her cane.

#

Moving the Citadel through the Arcturus relay, now that they knew what they were doing, was far simpler than it had been to move it through the Charon relay. Within another day they'd moved back into the Widow Nebula. A few of the dreadnoughts unsnapped long enough to help clear the debris of the Citadel Defense Fleet, destroyed when the Reapers had swept in to take the Citadel. By the end of that day they'd moved the Citadel back into position, detached, and cheered as the ward arms stretched open almost in victory before Kaidan and Shepard collapsed into bed together, not even pretending to be awake enough to make love first.

Kaidan was gone when Shepard first woke up, and she stretched and scratched at his t-shirt before stumbling for the shower. Her leg was usually worse in the morning, and she relied more heavily on her cane to help her get across the small room after making their bed.

When she headed out of the shower, wrapped only in a towel, she nearly shrieked to find someone sitting on her bed.

Kasumi laughed at Shepard's reaction as the woman scrambled to make sure she was actually wearing a towel. "Just me, Shep. Special delivery." She patted the garment bag next to her. "Found that dress you wanted. Good choice. I might go back and one for myself."

"Jesus, Kasumi," Shepard said, stepping back into the bathroom to pull on her shorts and t-shirt. "Knock first?"

"Knocking is boring. You learn more when you don't knock," she replied cheerily. "Also, Kaidan wanted me to give you a shit ton of datapads. Apparently the Council is serious about this."

"You sound far too happy about that," Shepard replied, unzipping the garment bag. "God, yes, this is it."

"What did they want you in?"

"Some dumbass asari thing that left very little to the imagination in front." She flipped the dress over and examined the back. "Considering that's where most of my recent scars are, I'd prefer to keep that mostly covered. They didn't seem to get it."

Kasumi didn't speak for a few seconds. "How do you feel about shoes?"

"I -"

"You are not wearing combat boots if I'm your unofficial wedding planner," she scolded, wagging her finger.

"I wasn't going to- I have a pair of heels!"

"Those black things? I don't think so. I'll find you a pair next time I'm on the Citadel. Actually, I'll just hook you up with everything. That is my job, after all."

"I hate you sometimes."

"I can take that back."

"I said 'sometimes.'"

Kasumi grinned from underneath her hood. "It better only be sometimes. So. How much have they planned?"

"Everything," Shepard said with a frown, examining the tulle train that draped off the crossed back of the dress. "Tell me you didn't steal this though?"

She shook her head, another small grin playing at her lips. "I still have access to Major Alenko's accounts."

"He's going to kill me."

"I think he'll forgive you. This is going to look better than that black thing you wore to the heist."

"Wore it to me and Kaidan's first real date, too. I've gotten a lot of use out of that - hey!" Kasumi batted her hands away from the dress and tucked it back into the garment bag.

"If you stop looking at it like it's a gun you're dissecting, I'll let you keep it."

Shepard scowled at her and limped over to the sofa, dropping down with the stack of datapads. Another grumble. They really were planning everything, from the guest list to the entire ceremony, which while it was amusing to see alien interns attempting to decipher human wedding traditions, it definitely bore the marks of her mother's tampering. "Mom's in on this."

"Of course she is. She knows you don't care."

Shepard looked up at Kasumi, a sharp bite on her tongue, then realized that she really didn't give half a damn and shrugged. "As far as me, Kaidan, and the legal establishment are considered, we're already married," she said. "This is just the frilly stuff I never really cared about."

"Never?"

"Maybe once. When I was sixteen. And insisted I'd marry a singer named Lebonah Haigh-Beesla."

"You too? He was dreamy." Shepard snorted. "Never took you for the pretty-boy type."

"I was sixteen. The next week it was the nice-looking marine who outshot me at the firing range and then gave me pointers." She paused. He'd helped her with the bulky-ass sniper rifle the range-attendant had sworn she wouldn't be able to handle, and he had probably been the only reason she'd been able to use one on Elysium . . . and he was probably dead now. She thought he may have been an admiral, and a high-ranking one though still under Hackett, which would have meant that he was on Arcturus when . . . "It doesn't matter."

God damned Reapers.

"Anyway." She tossed the datapad aside and leaned her head back on the sofa. "Make whatever changes you want. I'm tired of pretending to care."

#

Shit fuck what was she god damn it what was she doing.

Shepard stared at herself in the full length mirror, the dress she'd loved accentuating every bit of her body she no longer loved, the breasts that were just a little too big and the hips that were far too big from years of having to sprint across battlefields wearing a hundred pounds of armor and weapons, the waist that was just barely keeping time with her usual size thanks to her heightened metabolism, the thighs that were the same thing as her hips and the shoulders that were just a little too broad.

But, hey, it covered up the scars that laced over her torso, given to her courtesy of the explosions she'd suffered on Earth and the Citadel.

She turned to look at her back. The white, silky fabric twisted and crossed between her shoulderblades, wrapping around to meet the fabric on either side of her hips, dipping down to the small of her back. Her scars here were fewer, mostly from Elysium or Lazarus or when she'd tried to stand in the hospital and cut her back open - that accounted for the one that curved from her left shoulder and then down her spine, at least. The skirt clung to her muscular thighs, falling suddenly down to the floor in loose, wide twisted straps were held in place by a long train of tulle that wrapped and tied invisibly around them behind a broach and fell down to the floor, following her with a vast sea of thin white that nearly seemed half her height.

"I look like a dumbass magazine photo," she complained.

"You look good. Shut up."

Shepard scowled at Kasumi, then carefully touched the elaborate way someone had done her hair.

"Stop it," Hannah scolded. "I've got her from here, Kasumi. Thanks."

"Anytime, Admiral Shep," Kasumi said, raising her hand in a mock salute before disappearing. Hannah turned back to her daughter, carefully adjusting the silver and diamond hair vine that Kasumi had mysteriously "found." "You ready?"

"I look stupid," she replied. Hannah sighed.

"You're going to make everyone in there jealous of your husband," she replied. Satisfied, she stepped back and handed Shepard her cane, wrapped in silver and blue ribbon. She'd been walking fairly well without it recently, but only for short distances, and not when standing for very long. "He isn't going to know what hit him."

Shepard shook her head. "This is stupid. It's a bunch of idiots who are using us again for their own purposes and I just . . ." She looked up and swallowed. "I just wanted to be left alone for a while."

Hannah swiped her thumbs under Shepard's eyes. "No crying, dear. You'll smudge your makeup, and the Alliance paid good money for it. You look . . ." She swallowed and smiled sadly. "You look beautiful."

Shepard studied her for a second, then echoed her sad smile. "I wish he was here too, mom." It never took much to know what her mother was thinking when she had that look on her face. Shanxi had been decades ago, but the wounds were still fresh in the Shepard family.

She smiled again and rubbed her daughter's arms. "Come on," she said. "The sooner we're gone, the sooner this will be over."

Shepard nodded, and settled her hand on her cane.