Part 3
At Billy's apartment...
The door barely has time to shut behind us before Billy begins to unbutton my blouse.
"Babe, you know what I need right now?"
He kisses me and pushes me to the couch. Within seconds he pulls off my pants. There isn't even a suggestion of tenderness; he doesn't even take off his own clothes, only unzips his pants.
I feel a little pain but I don't say anything. I don't think he would care anyway.
"Oh God! Yes!" he pants, and then it's over.
Without even looking at me or holding me in his arms for a moment, he stands up, zips his pants and goes into the kitchen.
Everybody says sex is a wonderful thing... I wonder why?
***
I collect my clothes from the ground and walk into the bathroom. I lock the door behind me, afraid that Billy will decide to visit me in the shower.
I feel so awkward and helpless while the water is dripping down over me. I want to wash these feelings away, but it doesn't work that way. My tears mix in with the water... I hate myself and my life.
***
I get out of the bathroom and find Billy sitting on the couch, watching TV and eating a sandwich. I notice my own starvation but he didn't bother to make me one, too.
"I'm going home now. My mother wasn't in the best mood this morning, so I shouldn't make her angry."
It's not the truth. I don't care about my mother. I'm only afraid that he'll want to have sex again later and I don't want to spend the whole night with him.
I yearn for some sleep, because that's the only time when I don't have to think about my crappy life and all of my problems.
"Okay," is all he says. He doesn't ask me if I want him to walk me home, but I don't mind.
***
The apartment door to my flat is locked.
"Shit," I hiss.
I had forgotten my keys that morning but my mother is usually awake at this time anyway.
I hear sounds inside, something drops down on the floor. Then I notice George's voice... well, there aren't words actually, only something like: 'Ah...', 'Oooh...' and 'Yeah, Baby!'. I grimace in disgust and wonder for the second time this day: What's the big deal about sex these days?
I keep ringing the doorbell to no avail – but nobody opens the door.
"Damn! What's this all about? Open the fuckin' door." I drum my fists against the door, screaming at my mother.
Nothing happens.
Somebody opens the door on the third floor: "Shut the fuck up!" Then the door is slammed shut.
I slump down against the wall almost crying. Almost.
***
I don't know how long I sit there pitying myself, but I eventually pull myself together and step out into the darkness again.
Where should I go?
To Billy?
No, I won't do that.
Maybe I can spend a night at Sean's. He's my cousin, he wouldn't let me sleep outside, would he?
His flat is at the other end of the district, so I have to walk for a while. I shiver as the cold wind blows in my face. My eyes begin to water and I pull my thin jacket closer against my body.
"Not a very bright thing to do...," somebody calls from behind me.
I turn around and see a dark figure leaning at a wall. I can't see who it is, but as the person takes a step forward into the light of a nearby street lamp I shiver: It's Kyle.
"… to walk alone outside at night!" he finishes his sentence.
Within seconds he's by my side. I want to move, but there's no time. Another Bandit is already behind me. Kyle clutches my arm tightly and drags me into a dark corner. He's pressing my body against the wall, and even though it's dark I can see the venomous smile on his lips.
"Maybe you should leave her alone...," the other guy says doubtfully.
"Shut up, Alex, and keep watching!"
I try to get rid of Kyle, but he's too strong. He grabs my breasts.
"You like that, little Hurricane?"
"Hands off, pervert!" I scream, hoping someone will hear me.
He presses his lips onto mine, and I can feel him pressing against me. My whole body quivers and my view becomes blurred.
"Please, stop!" I whisper, my voice wavering.
I almost choke with fear and disgust when his hand touches me everywhere.
I want to scream but his other hand keeps my mouth shut. I catch a glimpse of the other guy – Alex. He looks kind of sorry, but he doesn't do anything. I close my eyes, wishing for it to be over soon.
***
Suddenly I notice another sound in addition to Kyle's breaths. I blink; maybe someone heard my screaming? But my ray of hope vanishes, when I see who my supposed saviour really is: Rath!
He looks me straight in the eye, but I can't see any emotion. In a flash he pulls Kyle away from me and seizes him by the collar.
"Are you out of your mind?" I can see the anger in Rath's eyes.
Kyle was unnerved by Rath's presence and he stuttered: "I j-just wanted some fun. You won't tell Max, will you?"
Rath looks at him, unruffled.
"Drop dead! I'll see you then," is all he has to say.
He turns to Alex, giving him a seismic gesticulation to leave as well. Than he focuses on me again and comes up to me.
Immediately, my panic is back. Did he just dismiss the others to ... No, it must not happen... please.
With a lump in my throat, I whisper: "What do you want?"
My back is pressed against the wall and I want to run away, but he stands in front of me, with one hand supported by the wall as he blocks my escape. He stares at me without any expression. Suddenly his hand is on my jacket. I jerk but still don't have a chance to get away.
"You shouldn't be outside all alone at this time of night. Maybe there won't be anyone to protect you from someone like Kyle next time," he says coolly.
Than he zips my jacket and leaves.
***
Fortunately, Sean is at home. He doesn't have any room left for me at his studio apartment actually, but he makes an exception knowing my circumstances at home.
"So Aunt Amy had a drop too much again?"
I nod absent-mindedly. I'm still distracted, thinking about Kyle... his hands on my body... Rath...
I won´t tell anyone. It would only bring more trouble after all. Apart from this, Billy probably wouldn´t care, if it hadn't been someone from the Bandits.
I have to sleep at the floor, because Sean only has a small couch for himself... Body against body with my cousin... I really don't have to do this!