Your name is Dave Strider, and you can't believe the shit you're about to pull. Why were you walking to the room of Karkat Vantas, with your laptop burning your hands, and the faint giggles of Jade Harley ringing in your ears?
Because you suck balls at twenty questions, that's why.
You were probably going to get a thorough ass-kicking the next morning for doing this, but you had to. You had to go through with the rules stated by your girlfriend moments ago. You could have objected and said you couldn't make rules late in the game, but you wanted to see her smile, so it was worth it.
You walk up to the door with a piece of paper taped to it with the name "KARKAT" scribbled on it, just like that, in all caps. You marvel for a second at the penis you drew on it in the very bottom corner, and you can't help but wonder if he's even noticed yet. You sit your laptop on the ground with the screen facing the door, so that Jade could get a clear view of what was about to go down, and so you wouldn't have to do it a second time because she said "I couldn't see it, so it didn't happen!" You knew that those would be the exact words that would come from her mouth. You just knew it. "Alright, I'm going in. If I don't come out alive, tell John I love him." You tell Jade in your very "serious" voice, which sounded more like the voice of some dude in a movie who was about to go into battle, where he would then tragically die. You saw yourself being that dude if this went terribly wrong.
You slowly open the door and keep it open, so the camera on your computer could catch all of this. You turn back, and Jade gives you a thumbs up, which meant she could see this. Good. You creep into the room, and you're almost disgusted by the giant-ass whatever-troll-beds-are-called in the corner of the room. Holy shit, that thing was nasty. You inhale deeply, and sneak towards the giant...bed...thing...where Karkat Vantas is sleeping almost in the nude, and sleeping like a baby. You then realize that you will never live this down. You then slam one of his heavy, trashy novels on the floor, which causes the troll to bolt up quickly.
At first, he mutters incoherently as he rubs the sleep out of his eyes, and the amber orbs pierce your soul. You must now begin the dancing. What kind of dancing, though? Of course...crab dancing.
"DAVE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" He sounded irritated, more so than usual. You silence him with one "Sh" and you form your hands in the shape of pinchers. "WHAT? DAVE WHY- OH NO. NO. I SWEAR DAVE IF YOU-" You then proceed to dance around the room, legs spread like that of a crab, and you click your "pinchers" continuously, complete with clicking noises from your mouth. The troll before you has his mouth agape, as if he can't even believe this is happening, but it is. You bet your ass it is. This shit is happening and there's no way you can stop it now. "DAVE CUT THAT SHIT OUT OR ELSE I WILL RIP YOUR HUMAN GENITALIA FROM YOU SO YOU MAY NEVER PROCREATE, WHICH MAY BE A BLESSING ON ALL OF US." You do not "cut that shit out", you just keep going. You have made a circle around the room, and are now approaching Karkat. "DON'T EVEN GET NEAR ME." You probably shouldn't have gotten up in his face, because he then proceeds to leap out of the slime bed, and chase you around the room like he is a bull, and you are the bright red cape. He's angry like one too, it's almost terrifying. You say almost because he's a lot shorter than you, and in all honesty, it's adorable like an angry puppy.
Karkat chases you around the room for a good minute, until he slips on the slime that he left on the ground. He falls to the floor with a thud, and you decide that it's time to make your escape. You bolt out of the room as fast as you can, and slam the door behind you, which was probably not your best idea, but you do it anyway. You scoop the laptop in your hands as you hear the muffled noises of Karkat screaming expletives behind his door. You run straight down the hall and into your room, shut the door, then lock it, so that Karkat can't get his revenge later. You're pretty sure you won't be safe for the next couple days. You scoot into your makeshift pillow fort, and you spend the next minute catching your breath.
You looked at the screen, hoping to see Jade, but she's not there. You start to worry, until she pops up from under a blanket, and you can see the tears in her eyes and her face is bright red. She's on mute, because you can't hear a things she's doing. She turns on her volume, and her giggles are dying down. "Dave, that was easily the funniest thing I have seen in my life!" She whispers, still laughing a bit.
Truth is, she was laughing so hard that she was crying, and she had to mute herself so she wouldn't distract Dave, or tip Karkat off to what was really going on. You sigh, a smile on your face, and you're almost laughing yourself. "So you got it?" You asked her and she nods.
"I recorded it!" She adds, and you think, 'Now I can watch it forever more.' You can't help but smile at her, and she smiles back.
"So, what now?" You ask, because you have no clue what should happen next.