Molly.. she was all I could think about now as Cato and I walked down the stairs after our rather.. intimate kissing on his bed.
What we did felt weird. It was like I knew my mind was telling me that maybe things were going a little too fast, but in the moment, I had no control over my actions or thoughts. Cato took complete control, and I enjoyed it. Knowing that I had never been intimate, in any way, with another person, I expected that I would lay flat like a piece of wood while Cato did all the work.. but surprise, my body knew what to do more than I could even comprehend. My hips flexed, digging into his as much as possible, my back arched, my skin crawled with the lingering feel of his lips on my skin. My whole body heated up and I felt this weird sensation in the pit of my stomach, like I never wanted it to stop.
Our actions fogged my thoughts up until the moment we walked out of Cato's room. He was laughing at how frantic I was with trying to recompose myself before greeting his mother and little brother again, but I couldn't help it. I had done what could have led to very, very bad things. And being here with a younger child and his mother, I couldn't give off any of the vibes that I felt Molly had after I found out who she really was.
I had no idea who she was when she walked through the front door and into the living room. I was too busy playing with Charlie that I didn't even realise the tension between the two standing there, battling each other with their eyes. My first instinctual thought for Molly was that she is very pretty. Her features were already sharp and mature, with her chocolate brown eyes and wavy brown hair, she could stop any guy in his tracks.
That all stops, though, as soon as she even looks you in the eyes. And when she opens her mouth.. goodness, it's like a natural disaster. I had a feeling that Molly knew exactly what she was up to when she tried to seduce Cato in front of me. She knew it would hurt, which is exactly why she tried it. She's rude and has no respect, something my mother would never let happen.
I'm glad that Cato saw through her. When he hesitated to answer, I really thought he was going to choose Molly over me and that would be the end of us. I saw something change in his eyes, something that resembled what I saw when we were in his room only seconds ago. He wanted her.. even if it was only for a second.
I think what was the worst was that he looked at her almost the same way as he had looked at me. I didn't want him looking at anyone else the way he did me. Cato's eyes trained on me and only me made me feel so special, and I don't want that to change.
Once we got to the bottom of the stairs, Cato stops and stands in front of me.
"What?" I asked.
"What's wrong?" he asked me while placing his hands on my shoulders and surveying me.
"Nothing. Why?"
"Your face, it's still red. And you're being oddly silent."
Oh. I shrugged, not really knowing what to say. Do I tell him that I'm embarrassed about what we did earlier, even more because I enjoyed it? Or, do I tell him that his ex-girlfriend, or whatever they called what it was, won't get out of my mind?
"I'm fine. Just a little tired," I lied, moving around him to walk to the dining room. I was starving and looking for any excuse to try to clear my mind, especially through using food.
"You can't be tired," Cato said. "We still have to go to the ocean tonight."
I turned and frowned. "In the dark?"
Cato smirked. "Even better."
"But I don't have a swimsuit."
"Oh." Cato chewed on his lip. I was sure that all the stores here must be closed down now and I don't think his mother would have a suit that could fit me. I'm barely bigger than Charlie.
"Just go in your underwear. No one else is going to be there but us," Cato suggested, smiling again, in that way.
I shook my head way too fast. My blush had just went away and now it was back. "Cato, no. I can't do that," I told him quietly.
"And why not?" Gosh, why does he have to smirk so much?
"Because it's embarrassing."
Cato sighed and took a step closer. "C'mon, it's only going to be me. And you don't need to worry.. you already know that I think you are the most beautiful person in the world."
Blushing..
"I just don't know."
"Well, it's either that, or you won't get to experience the ocean again for a very long time," he remarked, knowing that it would force me into an answer that I didn't want. "And plus, I'll be in my underwear too, if that would make you more comfortable."
Cato was really driving a hard bargain. I really did want to go into the ocean. The most water I've seen, not counting in the Games, is when the bathtub was filled at home. I don't know how to swim, which is something that I've wanted to do for a long time. And, I guess it would be nice to learn from Cato. He is way too protective over me, so he probably won't let me drown.
"What do you say?" Cato asks, bending down to look me straight in the eyes.
"Fine," I sigh. "But please don't make fun of me and don't let me drown," I say with a frown, trying to be as serious as I could.
"Good."
Dinner with Cato's family wasn't bad. I got along great with his Mom. She talked a lot about cooking and taking care of the house and Charlie (she didn't include Cato because she said he would complain about being a man and not needing his Mother to take care of him.) She is very enthusiastic and open to talking about almost anything, especially Cato.
His Mom told me about how sensitive and shy he was before he started training for the Games at a very young age. She talked about how he wouldn't even talk very much to her, but they still had a strong connection. Cato didn't say much as his Mom explained all of this too me, just stared out of the window and stuffed food down his throat without even chewing it.
Cato must have really missed home. He was so relaxed, and I could tell it was mentally, physically and emotional. Other than the encounter with she-who-will-not-be-named, I have never seen Cato so calm. He smiles, a lot actually, and is more open about things instead of being the hard outer-shell that he makes himself out to be.
It was also clear that he really loved his Mother. Even when she called him the dreaded 'Pumpkin', he would still smile, despite his irritation. I don't blame him for feeling this way for her. She is a loving and very caring person, and it's obvious that she worries way more about him than she makes it seem. I think I can understand what she feels. It's her son that's shutting himself out of the world and all of the emotions he has bottled up. Cato needed something, or someone, to help him reveal himself to the world like his Mother said he was as a child.
I was hoping that he was opening himself to me. Earlier, his Mother whispered in my ear, thanking me for saving her son from the man he was turning into. I already knew Cato wasn't one to do ninety-nine percent of the things he does with me, and that makes me happy and also proud of myself for being a positive influence on someone's life. Maybe one day, I would be able to turn him around completely.
After dinner was over, Cato's Mum took Charlie upstairs to wash him and get him ready for bed. Charlie whined and cried the whole time, claiming that he was a big boy and old enough to stay awake just as long as Cato could. He was so cute as he pouted and stomped up the stairs with all of his toys piled into his arms.
Cato and I cleaned up everything while she got him ready for bed. It was silent, though.. I really didn't know what to say. It was either Molly, what went on in his room earlier, or the fact that I'm going to be in my underwear in less than an hour that made me too nervous to open my mouth. Cato senses my nerves, as he always does, and was smiling and sneaking peeks at me the whole time that I dried the plates.
"Stop staring at me," I grumbled after I caught him looking for the thousandth time. It was really starting to get on my nerves, especially because his gaze alone made me flustered.
"I'm sorry," he chuckled, "but you just look so nervous for no reason."
I sighed and let go of the towel I was holding. "Of course, I'm nervous. I'm going to the beach without a proper swimsuit! I've never been in my underwear in front of anyone."
"You were about to be in them with me earlier," Cato remarked with that stupid half grin. He was purposely fooling with me.
"Stop," I groaned, covering my reddening face with my damp hands. I was already too flustered. Cato had seen me blush thousands of times on account of him, but this time, it seemed different.
"Hey." Cato removed my hands from my face. "You don't have to hide from me."
"I know," I sighed. "But I just can't help it. This is all so new to me. Meeting parents, sharing a bed with someone that isn't my Mother.. you're a lot to process."
"So are you," he smiled. "And I'm working on it, aren't I?"
I nod my head yes. Cato was definitely trying his hardest to work on us.
"Then so should you."
"Okay," I nod again.
"Now, let's go to the beach. I haven't had a proper swim in way too long."
Cato took my hand and literally dragged me out into the darkness of the night, grinning like an idiot as we made our way to the sparkling, now dark blue ocean. The moon was shining down onto the white waves that splashed silently onto the sandy land and disappeared.
Watching the water move made me so excited. This was my first encounter with a real body of water. I read about this in books and saw pictures, but never have I experienced it. The way the waves sparkled when the moonlight hit it in a certain way, and how the water was almost black the farther away it stretched. Nature was the most beautiful part of life, but because of the Capitol, people like me don't get to experience it. If you weren't from the Capitol, One, Two or Four, you had no opportunities.
My chest was rising dramatically. I was happy, but I was scared. I don't want to drown. I know Cato said he would help me, but it's pretty dark and kind of hard to see, so what if he turns away for a second and I plunge into the ocean..?
Nah, Cato said he would never let me go. Can we just take a moment to acknowledge how sweet that was? I'm loving the new Cato more and more every second.
Cato stands with me and stares at the ocean. "Ready?" he asks, though not taking his eyes away from the water.
I nodded slowly. "I think so."
"It'll be fine. You'll love it."
"Okay."
I watch from the corner of my eye as Cato begins to remove his shirt. Holy smokes.. why is my heart beating so fast?
Cato was beautifully toned. I didn't think it was possible for a sixteen year to be do darn developed. The abs in his stomach were deep, the lines between them being shadowed by the moonlight. His arms were thicker than my legs, and his back.. the muscles on his back were too perfect to even explain.
"Enjoying the view, Kitty?" he asks with a smile. He caught me mindlessly staring, and was loving the fact that he could make fun of me for it.
"Um.." I stuttered. I had been caught, what could I say?
"I thought so." Cato continued to undress himself, not caring that I was there and that we were in public. I was still very nervous. Seeing the way that Cato's body looked, I did not want to take anything off.
I've never been one to worry about the way I looked, mostly because I never had the reason to. I didn't have to wear swimsuits, I didn't have any boyfriends.. and I've certainly never been 'active' in that way. So, I had no reason to show any skin other than my arms when I wore shorter sleeves.
"Come on, Rose. The water is nice," Cato called, reaching his hand out to me. He had already jumped into the water. His body was dripping with the clear water from the ocean, and he was watching me with breathtaking intensity.
I nod and slowly remove the sweatshirt I was wearing. My heart was pounding outside of my chest and I felt like I couldn't breath. My nerves were taking over.
I can't do this. I can't.
"It's okay," Cato called, sensing what I was thinking. "It's just me, no one else."
I nodded slowly, telling myself to calm down. It's just Cato, no one else. I can do this. I love him. You're supposed to do anything for the one you love, right?
I quickly slip my sweatshirt over my head and the undershirt I was wearing without giving it a second thought. I watched as Cato froze where he was and stared with wide eyes. What was that look? It was wild.. He looked at me like I was his prey. But somehow, the look was pleasant.
Cato nodded as I reached down and removed my shoes and socks and reached for the hem of my pants. Jesus, I was to the point of passing out. Cato wouldn't stop staring. He didn't even blink, just stared at me with big eyes.
It took all of the courage I had to push my pants down into the sand and step out of them. I felt the warm breeze pick up around my legs as I took shaky, unsteady steps toward the slowly moving waves of the ocean.
Cato reached his hand out to me, walking toward the edge to meet me halfway. Excuse my language, but holy shit.. the look that he's giving me is heartwrenching.
I try to compose myself by straightening my tousled hair. The wind was blowing it everywhere and I wanted to fix it by pulling it up into a ponytail holder, but I didn't have that anymore since Cato stole it earler. He really does not like it when I have my hair up. Every second he gets, he removes my hair from whatever elastic it's in.
I finally reach Cato and he takes my hand. He turns around and bends down, clasping my legs and hoisting me onto his back. I squealed lightly as I was taken aback.
Cato walked us deeper into the ocean while I had my hands clasped tightly around my neck, praying to the heavens that I don't slip and fall from his back and plunge to my death. He walked all the way until the water reached a little bit above his waistline, meaning that it came to the end of my chest.
"Cato, stop walking," I pleaded, getting scared once again.
Cato takes me off of his back and has me stand in the water, letting it comsume almost my entire body.
"It's okay, right?" he asks.
I ponder over the question. It was okay. Since my feet were on the ground, I didn't really have much to panic about, but Cato was still giving me the look. It was sending shivers down my spine. My hair was halfway in the water and halfway out, making the ends float on the surface of the water.
"Yes, it's fine." I answered.
There was a long pause, with the two of us not really knowing what to do or say. I was a little uncomfortable with what was going on. Cato was just staring at me like he wanted to make a move, but he stood stiffly, his eyes moving from my face to my chest. I had the strong desire to cover myself up, but he told me never to do that for him. His chest was moving just as hard as mine was.
"Why do you keep staring at me like that?" I ask him after a while.
Cato shrugs. "You're just... perfect."
"No, no I'm not," I tell him lowly.
"Yes, you are. We may not have been together for too long, but you're everything that I would have imagined if I had imagined something like this."
Gosh...
"Where is all of this coming from?" I ask, curious as to where his sudden lovable mood was coming from.
He shrugs again and takes a piece of my hair in the midst of his thought. "I can sense your uncertainty with me and Molly," he tells me.
"Well, yeah."
"You know that there's nothing to worry about."
"I know," I commented.
"You're much more beautiful than she is," Cato said, causing my face to flush.. again.
"No I'm not."
"Fuck that, you're gorgeous as shit. Like a goddamn model or something."
"Cato, I'm not-"
"You're perfect," he says, quieting me and my negativity.
"You're not that bad either," I joked. Cato was completely gorgeous. There was no doubting that.
"Psh," he waved his hand, "I'm fucking gorgeous," Cato joked with a laugh.
His hands reached out for me suddenly, and he was pulling me closer, clasping his arms around me to lean down and kiss me. His mouth was covered with the fresh water around us and his tongue tasted like the gum he put into his mouth after dinner.
My hand reached up and cupped his jawline and my touch forced him to pull me even closer, crushing me under his protective arms. My other arm wrapped around his neck and clasped the hair on the back of his head. I felt his fingers tangle into my hair.
This was foreign. We were both desperately calm as we searched for one another's love. Cato was definitely winning this battle. He clung to me tighter than my underwear did with the water soaked into them.
I'm guessing this was what love truly was. Doing anything for someone else that you wouldn't do for just anyone. Cato has sacrificed so much for me, more than I think I will ever sacrifice for him, and I think that's why I love him. No one, not even Katniss, has cared for me so much, especialy someone like him. Cato was a completely different person from the first time that I met him, and although he's not completely changed, he is much better than he used to be. I hope he does nothing but progress from now on. Being honest, controlling his anger, and not lashing out on me for everything that I do is amazing.
I love him wholehearteadly and without any limits. He was my tortured prince, and hopefully he would be the only one.
I wasn't so far to say that I hope we could get married, because there is still so much that we don't know about one another. Plus, Cato does not seem to be the marriage person. He's barely even the relationship person. Obviously.
"Do you truly love me?" Cato asks, completely reading my mind. I swear this guy has psychic powers.. he always can tell what I'm thinking. I had been holding onto him, hugging him tight.
I nod my head against his chest and I can sense his smile.
"Good."
"Do you believe me?" I ask, copying the same question he has asked me before.
He hesitates for a moment, thinking over his answer. "Yea, I do."
"Okay."
We didn't swim at all, and I didn't learn how to like we planned. All we did was stand in the water, silently watching each other and protecting one another. We did leave the water and sit in the sand for a while. Cato had forced me to sit on his lap. His excuse was that it was so that crabs won't pinch me, but I knew there weren't any crabs and that as always, he wanted an excuse to touch me.
It felt like a first date to me, even though neither one of us said the words. It was romantic, as romantic as Cato could possibly be, and we were finally completely alone, without the cameras from the Capitol watching our moves or someone interrupting us.
Cato carried me on his back all the way to the house again. When we got there, his Mum and Charlie were already in bed. The lights were all off, so we trudged silently up to Cato's room.
I was nervous, once again, because I sensed that something was going to happen.
Cato dropped me onto the bed and wiggled his eyebrows, causing me to laugh as loudly as possible so as not to disturb his family.
He crawled on top of me, just as he did earlier, and I became excited. I do admit, I enjoyed what happened, and I did want another round of it, but I was afraid that it would lead to something that I wasn't ready for.
He attached his lips to mine, whispering over and over how much he loved me and how he never wanted to let me go, and I completely gave myself to him. I couldn't help it. My body just reacted without giving my mind the time to think.
Cato kissed me, his hands roaming up and down the sides of my body and through my tangled, wet hair.
"You smell like home now," he commented with a smile as his nose traced my jaw. I laughed as he sniffed me like I smelled like the best thing in the world.
"Isn't that weird?" I asked as he kissed my neck.
He shook his head no and kissed right beneath my ear, causing a noise to escape my mouth. I immediately clasped my mouth shut with my hand and sat up a little. It was embarrassing me to make sounds like that. I made the same sound like that earlier, but I couldn't stop because Cato was kissing me so passionately.
I cannot do this. Not right now.
"What?" Cato questioned.
I shook my head, not really knowing what to say. My hands went to my face and I covered it, trying to hide how embarrassed I was.
"Hey." Cato removed my hands. "What did I tell you?"
"To not hide myself from you," I mumbled, keeping my eyes downward.
"So why are you doing it?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I'm nervous."
"About what?"
"What we're doing."
"Well then, we don't have to do anything that you don't want."
"Really?"
"Yes. I won't hurt you, and I definitely won't do anything that you don't want to do."
"I'm sorry-"
"You don't have anything to apologise for," Cato said, rubbing the redness away from my cheeks. "I told you that I love you and that noth-"
There was a knock at the door downstairs that interrupted Cato from what he was about to say. He groaned and stood up to get it, leaving me in the room alone.
Seconds later, he was back, with a piece of paper crumpled in his hand and his face red with anger.
"What's wrong?" I asked as he paced back and forth in front of me.
He shook his head and threw the paper down on the floor. I stood and picked it up, releasing it from the crumpled ball and reading the words in black ink.
'You will realise that you love me, and I'll do everything it takes, even if it means getting rid of that little slut.' -M
Wow..
I guess this is what loving Cato means for me.. Danger, a whole lot of it.
This chapter is sooooo long. Sheesh.
I hope you enjoy. Most people wanted the story to become a little more intimate, so I'm trying for you guys!
Please make sure you vote, comment, share and follow me! I love you all as much as Cato loves Prim.. 3
Cheers. Laters, baby,
Myesha xx