Disclaminer: I do not own Naruto.
Chapter Fifteen
I woke up slowly, feeling more rested and relaxed then in a long time despite the slight soreness in between my legs. I stretched and realized that I was still lying on top of Hidan and that I was still naked.
"You´re really beautiful in the morning Cherry." I opened one eye and saw that Hidan was awake and looking at me, a sweet smile on his lips.
"Thank you." I responded thinking about how it would feel good with a shower but being too tired to move. I felt him chuckle beneath me and then the covers were gone and he was walking towards the bathroom with me in his arms. I looked up at him, telling him. "You must be able to read minds."
He shook his head no and explained. "No, but you talk out loud when you´re tired." I felt a light blush cover my cheeks, kami knows how much embarrassing things I´ve said without realizing it. "I think it´s cute." Hidan told me and my blush intensified.
We showered together, this time without the heavy make out. Then we returned to our own rooms to dress. I put my wet hair in a braid before pulling on a pair of light blue boot cut jeans, a simple white tank top and a red and black flannel shirt. I hoped that the shirt would cover Hidans love bites.
I went to the kitchen in search for food, I was absolutely starving. I made myself some toast and ate them standing at the kitchen sink when Konan entered the kitchen. She took one look at me before latching onto my arm and dragging me to her bedroom.
"Talk Sakura." She told me with a huge smile as she locked the door behind us.
"About what?"
"About what happened last night with Hidan of course! Come on you´re killing me…" Since I could clearly see that she really was happy for me I decided to tell her with the promise that she would tell no one else.
She promised and I told her.
"I´m so happy for you!" She told me while trying to hug me to death and I smiled. "But what of protection? You did use it didn´t you?" She asked me next and I simply shook my head no.
"There´s no reason for me to use protection, I lost the ability to have children years ago…" There was a small amount of real sorrow in my voice and she of course noticed.
"I´m sorry Sakura... Have you told Hidan?" She asked as she hugged me once more and I once again shook my head no.
"I don´t know how to tell him… What if he wants to have children? Will he leave me for someone else then or stay and be unhappy?" I voiced my fears to her and she only hugged me tighter telling me that it would be alright no matter how he felt about it and that we always could adopt.
We soon switched to a happier subject, talking about what to get for the boys homecoming party. A knock soon sounded on the door and Peins voice followed. "We´re ready to go now, are you coming?" We immediately jumped off her bed and almost ran to the garage where Pein, Hidan and Kisame were waiting.
At the mall we split into groups, Pein and Konan shopping for food and drinks while Kisame, Hidan and I shopped for decorations. We were almost finished and about to meet up with Pein and Konan for food when my phone chirped, telling me I had a new text message.
Hello Sakura. Enjoying the mall I see?
Sasuke
I froze, making Kisame bump into me, searching the people around us for the face that belonged to Sasuke. I found nothing but was so scared that I didn´t even notice when Hidan took my phone from my hand and that Kisame wrapped an arm around me protectively.
"Breathe Kitten; we won't let him take you." Kisame assured me and I managed to pull myself together. We met up with the others and ordered some food, before sitting down. We decided that we would leave as soon as we had eaten.
When we walked across the parking lot the sound of a revving car engine alerted me to the danger. I looked up in time to see a black suv skidding to a stop only a few meters away from us.
Sound members showed up, Sasuke, Karin, Suigetsu, Jugo, Kabuto and Orochimaru, being a few of them. All of them had guns and Orochimaru said.
"Give us Sakura and the rest of you are free to go." All of my new family responded with yelling no and never making him frown. "Fine then, we´ll just have to take her anyway. And then the shooting started.
I knew all of them wore Kevlar beneath their clothes just as I did, but that wouldn´t help them if they were shot in the head. I couldn´t let them die for me… I would rather have Orochimaru and Sasuke capture me.
I quickly made my way towards Orochimaru, only telling him when the others couldn´t hear me. "If I go with you, you will leave them alone!" I told him and he nodded before plunging a needle in the side of my throat.
I heard Hidan yell before the world went black.
I came too slowly, my stomach lurching as the drug went off. I was in a bare, grey room with no windows. The only furniture was a narrow bed, a small lamp and a small dresser. I explored the two doors in the room, one leading to a dirty white bathroom with a sink, a toilet and a small shower. The other door was locked and the handle gave me a small electric shock.
The door unlocked and in came Orochimaru and Kabuto.
"Welcome to the Sound hideout. You will be examined by Kabuto and then tested for about a month, then I will let you and Sasuke be together." Orochimaru told me this with a creepy smile on his lips making me shudder. He then left and Kabuto grinned at me, his filthy grey hair hanging in his eyes.
He pushed up his glasses before grabbing me by the arm, leading me out of the room without a word. He soon pushed me inside another room, delivering a swift punch to my head to daze me as he strapped me to a table.
He tore my clothes from my body before starting his examination, making me feel sick. I tried to forget what he was doing with my body by thinking of the guys back home.
Pein would surely be furious, as would the other guys… Konan would be crying, the others would too, but not when anybody saw them.
I thought of how Sasori, Deidara and Itachi would react to the news that sound had managed to capture me.
I thought of Hidan, whom I loved but wasn´t sure I´d ever see again.
Several hours later I was back in my room, sitting in the shower, trying to wash away the memories of Kabutos hands. But I refused to let the tears out. I was going to find a way to escape.
I would not let them break me.
I soon found out that when Orochimaru said that I was to be tested, he really meant that I was to be experimented on. They injected me with poisons, making me immune to most of them by accident. They took away my two lowest ribs, making me unnaturally flexible.
I let them do all that to me, not saying a word. I hadn´t spoken since I´d gotten here but every night I sat in the shower trying to feel clean again. I never succeeded.
Nightmares started to haunt me again, making me an insomniac. I never slept more than two hours a night. I started cutting again, neither Orochimaru nor Kabuto cared. I became emotionless.
The first month was soon over and that's when they let Sasuke have me. He beat me during the days and raped me during the nights, saying he only wanted me to bear his children. Too bad he didn´t know I could not have children.
I had soon been with the Sound for three months, I had lost a lot of weight, I was once again abused and had many new scars. I had locked away my emotions becoming emotionless.
I didn´t cry, I didn´t sleep, I didn´t feel.
Sometimes I wondered if I was even alive…
I still searched for a way to escape, but I did so patiently without any of the sound members noticing. And I finally got my chance. Sasuke was furious with me for not being pregnant and was taking me to see a doctor. He was driving with me in the passenger seat and Karin, Suigetsu and Jugo in the back. I was watching the traffic around us carefully, waiting for the perfect moment to make my move.
Suddenly I saw a familiar car and quick as lightning I punched Sasuke in the head and grabbed the steering wheel. I pulled it hard to the right, making the car starting to tip over in the opposing lane. Just as I had hoped the car rolled over a couple of times before coming to a stop.
I quickly unbuckled my belt and then crawled out of the broken windshield, cutting myself in the process. I ran towards the familiar car that had screeched to a stop a little bit away. I could clearly see the shock on the drivers face as I opened the car door and slid into the passenger seat.
"What are you waiting for? Drive!" I told her as she only stared at me. That made Konan finally snap out of it and she quickly put her car in gear and drove back the same way she came from.
I felt my adrenaline crash and leaned back in the grey leather seat. I turned my head to look at Konan as she drove. She looked tired, as if she hadn´t slept well in a long time.
"Sakura… are… are you okay?" She asked me timidly, almost as if she was a little scared of me.
"No." Was my simple answer and she turned to look at me, searching for some reaction or emotion in my eyes. She found none.
"Everybody but Kakuzu and I are in another town searching for you… They will be so relieved to know you´re back." I didn´t answer her and soon we pulled up in front of the house I hadn´t been sure I´d ever see again.
Konan revved the car a few times before getting out of the car, she came around to help me out but I was already on my way towards the door. I knew I was bleeding but I refused to be out in the open any more than necessary. I longed for the safety of being inside this house. I knew I was being cold towards Konan but I´d had my emotions locked away for so long that I no longer was sure if I could go back to the way I was before…
Just as I reached the door, Kakuzu opened it and shock took place on his face. "Sakura?" I met his gaze with my own blank one and said.
"Hi Kazu." He looked at me, long and hard before saying.
"My bedroom, now." He started walking and I followed him, giving Konan a small wave as she headed towards the phone. I had no doubt that she was going to call the others.
Kakuzu locked the door behind me, as he did every time I came to him to talk or because I was injured. He then surprised me by hug me hard and tight against himself, not caring that my blood stained his clothes.
"Thank Kami you´re back…" I felt a tiny, tiny piece of my heart soften and come alive at hearing this and I actually hugged him back.
"Yeah I´m back…" My voice betrayed just how tired and weak I actually was. "But I´m not the same… I´m not sure I´ll ever be the same again…" I told him as he pushed me down to sit on his bed.
"We´ll help you, all of us will help you… But for now, can I examine you? I really think we should do a full scale exam…" He told me and I gave him the smallest of smiles before nodding.
"Sure." I then took of my clothes, leaving me in just my underwear, so that Kakuzu could examine my body. His eyes widened at the amount of new scars that showed on my body and he asked me. "What in Kamis name have they done to you?"
"At first there was the experimenting… they tried out new poisons on me, actually making me immune to most of them. Then they took away my two lowest ribs and increased my flexibility. Then they handed me over to Sasuke who used the days to beat me and the nights to rape me, I crashed their car to get away so I have a few cuts and bruises as well." I told him in an emotionless voice.
He only blinked at me, clearly not knowing what to say. I moved closer and put my finger over his lips. "Please just fix me up for now… We can deal with all the trauma and emotions and shit later can´t we?" He nodded hesitantly, clearly not happy to hear me say that.
"Only if you tell me what problems you have." I sighed knowing that I had to do that. I pulled him down to sit on the bed next to me and leaned my head against his shoulder before I started telling him.
"I don´t sleep more than two hours at the most each night, I barely eat, I… I cut again…" Kakuzu pulled me in for a hug and I let him before telling him what scared me the most. "I´ve locked away my emotions, I can´t feel much anymore and I can´t cry… and it… it scares me. Because I don´t know how to go back to normal…" Kakuzu held me tight and my body shook as if I were crying; only there were no tears.
"It´s okay Sakura, it´s just your body's defense mechanism. I promise that it will be as it used to when your body realizes that there is no more danger."
I nodded against him, relief filling my whole body and I let Kakuzu hold me until it felt better.
A few hours later Kakuzu, Konan and I were in the kitchen, they were trying to make me eat something when the front door opened and a frantic voice resonated through the house.
"Kakuzu!" I´d recognize that voice everywhere, it was Sasori.
"In the kitchen!" He yelled back and soon both Sasori and Deidara entered the kitchen, both of their gazes immediately locking onto me.
They looked tired, just as Konan did and they seemed to have lost a bit of weight as well. They stood still for about three seconds before enveloping me in a tight hug, but when neither of them showed any signs of letting go I told them.
"Guys, trouble breathing here." They immediately let go of me but didn´t move from my sides.
Sasori looked at me and asked the question I knew would come. "Sakura are you okay?" I didn´t answer him, instead I lowered my gaze and let Kakuzu tell them.
I didn´t want to see their eyes when they realized what had happened to me…
During the day Itachi, Kisame, Tobi and Zetzu also returned home all of them asking me the same question. When Pein came home I tensed up, I knew that he and Hidan had been searching together and I was actually a little scared of seeing Hidan again.
I sat on the bed in my room when Pein entered and I looked up to see relief in his eyes. "I´ve talked to Kakuzu." He told me and actually hugged me before turning to leave again. "Everything will be okay." Then I was alone again, but not for long.
"Sakura?" I spun around and my gaze locked with the one that I had missed the most, Hidan. He carefully took a step closer to me; it almost seemed as if he thought I would be afraid of him. But I didn´t allow any of that. My earlier fear was forgotten as I flung myself at him and clung to him desperately, as if he would disappear if I let him go.
"You´re back… You´re really back…" He murmured into my hair holding me tightly. He pulled away to look at me and gently held my face. "You´ve lost weight." He said and I looked away. I felt ashamed for my appearance once again.
"Hey don´t do that… please?" He begged me and I reluctantly faced him again. He found the scars after the needles on my arms and gently touched them. "What have they done to you…" He whispered before hugging me gently, placing a kiss on top of my head.
His caring gestures made something inside me snap and I answered him to the surprise of both of us.
"They tried out different poisons on me, I´m immune to most of them now." I then lifted my shirt up, showing him the scars where my ribs had been. "These are from when they took away my two lowest ribs." I told him as I let his fingers grace the raised scars. His eyes were wide but I didn´t stop, I didn´t think I could stop now…
I pulled my shirt off and showed him my back, covered in new and old scars. "Sasuke used to beat me just like my father before him." Then I turned around again and showed him a scar from where Sasuke had bitten me. "This I got during one of the times that he raped me. My eyes were burning now, wanting to shed tears but had lost the ability to do so.
"I don´t eat, I don´t sleep, I don´t feel anything anymore!" By now I was yelling at him and shaking like a leaf from the locked away emotions that couldn´t find their way out. Hidan grabbed me by my shoulders and held me so tightly that I had trouble breathing, saying.
"It will be alright Sakura, I won´t abandon you."
I pressed my face against his chest and then finally, I cried.