A/N: I'm in a bit of a mood today, so I'm probably going to post two chapters (lucky you guys) and then continue writing ahead while I'm in hiding.
Um . . . you'll see why I'm going into hiding soon.

Argument

Shepard, despite complaining that she was sore and had a massive headache, seemed mostly back to normal the next day. Chakwas still kept her for half the day for "observation," but after that she was back to wandering around the CIC, double-checking screens and micromanaging personnel. After the announcement most were fine with it - after all, not being so would just result in a very cranky, hormonal still-CO.

A couple hours later she ended up in the copilot's seat again, opposite EDI, after Joker sent his copilot on a snipe-hunt of an errand that would take him several hours. Shepard, of course, figured she should probably tell him to go easy on the new guy, but she knew it was just Joker's hazing. He did it to the short-lived copilot of the SR1 after the Battle of the Citadel too.

"So . . . just a few more weeks," Joker said, glancing over at her. "Gonna be weird."

"Don't worry, Joker. I'll call you and harass you every few minutes. Might tell you to come get me out of an exploding volcano every so often."

"Oh, yeah. Gotta watch out for those Citadel volcanoes, they're a bitch. Just so you know, my skills don't include flying out of piles of puke and shit. Literally."

Shepard half-grinned, leaning back in her chair. "No, that's what Kaidan is for."

Joker snorted. "I can't wait to see this. Mr. Badass Biotic up to his elbows in diapers."

"I'd've thought you would have been more amused by me up to my elbows in diapers."

"Well, I just thought that went without saying, you know? Right EDI?"

"I would like to continue keeping my processors intact, Jeff. I know better."

Shepard snorted. "I knew I liked you, EDI."

"And here I believed it was for other reasons, but I will not turn aside your affections, Admiral."

"Still 'Major.' Just for another few weeks." She closed her eyes as she leaned her head back against the chair. "Don't rush this too much."

"Having second thoughts?"

"No," she replied simply. "No. Combat it . . . it all just doesn't hold the same draw, like I've said. After everything that's happened, all I remember is seeing people die. Anderson, Thane, Mordin, Legion . . . all the civilians who died on Earth or the Citadel or Thessia or Palaven . . . I don't know. Maybe this is just finally the last straw, you know? But I don't know if I would have stuck around for very long without getting knocked up."

"I didn't think you would." At her look, he shrugged. "What, I know you too well. At the least I figured you'd stop going into the field, maybe take a shipboard position. Turn navy on us."

She shook her head. "Fair. You do know me far too well."

"So. I'm gonna be a godfather? Not, you know, like the old mafia movies, but -"

"I thought you were going to be the corrupting uncle."

"There's no rule saying I can't be both, right? I mean I didn't see it in any laws."

"Well, if you're all of the above, what are Garrus and Wrex and James going to be?"

He thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Be honest, can you see Garrus dealing with a human baby?"

". . . good point."

"Though Wrex . . . what kid wouldn't want a krogan uncle? And we all know James is just going to be the human jungle-gym."

"True enough." She grinned. "So, you gonna help us put together furniture?"

"Hell no. I'll get myself one of those Yoda hover-pads and watch though. I can direct, you know? 'Fit, that piece does not. There, should it go.'"

Shepard snorted. "I can actually almost picture that," she said. "Enough that I might have to buy you a little hover-disk you can shoot around on the Normandy with."

"You're too kind, Shep. What did I ever do to deserve a CO like you."

"Probably pissed on a statue on church grounds or something."

Joker laughed. "There was that one time on the Citadel we got drunk -"

Shepard shook her head and punched his chair as she stood. "I've got a bit of ordering to do. Marines need some new gear from requisitions and all."

"Don't break anything!" Joker called after her. "Req would love a bunch of forms from you this week!"

"They always love seeing my forms!" she shouted back.

Joker chuckled to himself.

"You should really try to help them," EDI chided.

"And what, break an arm trying to put a chair together? I don't think so."

"What will you be doing with this chair, handstands?"

"Maybe I will," he protested, then straightened up. "All right. Pulling into the Citadel."

Steps sounded behind him, and he glanced over his shoulder. "Sure you heard me, Alenko."

"I did." Kaidan drew to a stop, folding his hands behind him. "Have you seen Shepard?"

"She just headed upstairs. Something about requisitions. Why?"

"N-nothing." If he didn't know better, he'd think Kaidan seemed nervous. "Just need to talk to her. Thanks."

"No problem. Should I tell EDI to make sure the kinetics are ready to go?"

"I don't think that's going to be necessary."

Joker glanced over at the AI as Kaidan retreated. "Should I turn on the cameras in the Loft?"

The look she replied with could only be considered 'exasperated.' He chuckled. "All right, all right, I won't."

#

"Marra."

Shepard looked up from her terminal as the doors slid open, letting Kaidan into the Loft. He sounded worried. "Kai?"

"We need to talk."

Oh. Those were words no one ever wanted to hear. "What about?"

"We're coming into the Citadel."

"Yeah. We have a meeting with the Council. And we were going to go check out that apartment." To say she wasn't excited about it would have been a lie. She'd had an apartment provided to her once, but it'd been demolished when the Reapers moved the station - and even then it'd never really been home. That had always been the Normandy. Apart from the apartment the Shepards had been provided on Arcturus, this would be the only place she'd ever lived in for longer than a few months.

"Yeah. I know." He leaned back against the tank, rubbing his neck. "Marra, I want you to stay on the ship. For the meeting, and when we're not at the apartment or the hospital."

She blinked. "What? Why?"

"Um . . . Because something out there is trying to get at you, and I want to keep that from happening? And -"

"We're only going to be on the Citadel."

"Yes, but I still don't want to risk it. I-"

"You are . . ." Shepard held up her hand, pointing at him. "Seriously, you are . . . I can't . . . This isn't . . . You're being an ass!"

Kaidan blinked a few times. "Wow, Marrakech. That's one way to react."

"I'm not going to stay on the ship like some prisoner!"

"The hell you aren't! I'm trying to protect you."

"I don't need protecting! I am perfectly capable of protecting myself!"

"Mar-Marra." He held up his hands. "Calm down."

"I'm perfectly fucking calm!"

"Listen to me!" Shepard fell silent, surprised that Kaidan was actually raising his voice. He'd never really flat-out yelled at her before, and the desire to stop breathing recycled air for a few hours was anything but monumentally stupid. To her, at least. "You can't use your biotics. If you happen to need armor, you need a size up. Or specially made, which they don't make, because most pregnant women don't go running towards people with guns! Someone is trying to get at you, Shepard. Leaving the ship means they do! Or did you forget what just happened on Illium?"

"Oh, so that's what this is about? That incident on Illium? And they're apparently after you too if Illium is any indication!"

"It's about the fact that you nearly got yourself killed."

"That car wouldn't have crashed if someone with an omni-tool hadn't started trying to counter-hack it!"

"Marra, I won't let you leave the ship."

"You -" Shepard took a deep breath through her nose. "What the hell is it with men and pregnant women? You and Joker and Gardner and everyone is treating me like I can't even shoot a gun anymore! I don't need to be locked up, Alenko, I can handle myself!"

"I'm not doing this for you!"

"Yeah, right, so the fact that I'm going to be sullen and resentful is going to be better for me?"

The first crack in Kaidan's still-calm exterior started to show, and Shepard suddenly, and actually, felt a little scared. She'd never seen him angry enough to lose his composure, not even when she was doing something idiotic on the battlefield. She knew she wasn't in danger, no. But the raw concern, the raw emotion that he never showed . . .

"In this case, yes! Because if that means you don't just disappear and we can't find you, yes! Why are you having such a damn problem understanding this?!"

"Because I don't like to feel trapped, Kaidan, and I'm feeling pretty damn trapped enough without your help!"

There was the briefest glimmer of concern. "I know, Marra. But you're not leaving this ship. You aren't going to win this."

"I'm not looking to win this!" she snapped. "I'm looking for my right to get off this ship!"

"Shepard!" Kaidan finally snapped back. "You are not getting off this ship."

"And when did you ever get the authority to order me around?!"

"When you started carrying my children!"

"Then maybe we shouldn't have gone through with this!" Shepard spun and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

"Fuck," she heard Kaidan mumble, barely audible, from behind the door. "Marra . . ."

"Just . . . go the hell away," she said. "Go enjoy your time on the Citadel. I'll see you tonight." Shepard let herself sink down the wall, leaning her head back against it. "Have fun."

"Marra . . . just come out."

"No. We obviously can't have a civilized conversation right now. Go. Have fun. You win."

She expected Kaidan to argue again, or to simply hack the door. Instead, she heard the exterior door open and close, and closed her eyes.

"What the hell is going on?" Shepard murmured quietly. She scrubbed at her face with the back of her hand.

The bathroom door slipped open. "Shepard, the female body releases an overload of hormones when-"

"Shut up, EDI." She dropped her head. "Let me know when they leave."

"I will. Would you like me to stay around?"

"No, that's fine, EDI. Thanks, though."

#

Joker glanced back as steps sounded behind him again. "Heya, Alenko. Where's Shep?"

Kaidan checked his sidearm, tapping his foot by the airlock. "She's staying on the ship."

"No shit." As the airlocks hissed together, he turned. "Oh. You two just got into it, didn't you?"

He nodded, putting the gun back in its holster. "It's the hormones."

"Must be. Your head's still intact."

"Ha. Very funny, Joker."

"Kaidan. Relax. She doesn't mean it."

He looked up at the pilot. "Yeah. I know. I want to leave Kebelsen to watch her and make sure she's not going to slip out."

"EDI and I'll keep an eye on her. Right, EDI?"

"I will ensure that Shepard does not leave the ship, Major."

"Thanks, EDI." He started out the airlock. "Give everyone two day's worth of shore leave."

"Yessir." Kaidan left. "Attention all crewmen. You now have two days of shore leave, courtesy of your favoritest Spectre Alenko. Be back by 1200 on Thursday. In other news, Kebelsen to the cockpit."

The ship burst into activity. Someone knocked on the cockpit entryway. "Why am I not getting leave?"

Joker turned around, addressing the marine. "You and I get to babysit Shepard. You'll probably get off the ship later today, when Alenko comes back."

She nodded. "All right. Mind if I sit up here?"

Joker shrugged. "Not at all."

The airlock opened as crew started to flood out. "Great. I'll get a deck of cards and get back up here."

"Sounds good." Kebelsen disappeared, fighting the crowd. Joker spotted Chakwas and Adams in the crowd. "You two leaving?"

"I have supplies I need to locate," Chakwas said. "Greg has invited me to lunch."

"Hah. Well. Good luck with that, Adams. See you two tonight." They disappeared. Kasumi slipped through the crowd and waved over their heads.

"See ya, Joker."

"Don't get arrested."

"Never do."

As the crew cleared out, Joker started to turn back towards the console. A lone set of quiet steps came up behind him, and he didn't bother turning. "Hey, Shep."

She dropped down into her usual chair, leaning back and closing her eyes. Her arms almost bonelessly flopped into place, one over the arm and the other so her hand rested on her stomach. "Hey, Joker."

"So, you and . . ."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh-kay. Good to know." He leaned back in his own chair. "Kebelsen's getting a deck of cards."

"Good." She fell silent, and Joker started to power down the ship with a sideways glance at his friend and CO.

"You all right?"

"I'll be fine."

A/N: I miss you all T.T. That and I miss having time to write...

Jillian: And yes, I shall be Dr. htewing. In . . . six or seven years. xD