Part 16

When you want someone you shouldn´t Novemerber 24th, 2007 – Saturday – 9:00 am

For the first moments, I don't know where I am when I wake up. But slowly, the memory of the day before comes back. Oh, it was a crappy day, well, at least until I met Michael.

I turn my head to look at him; he stirs lightly and opens his eyes sleepily.

"Morning," he murmurs and closes his eyes again.

I smile at him. He looks so cute with his hair in his face. I wish I could stay forever.

"I have to go, huh?" I ask quietly.

It takes him a moment to respond. "What time is it?"

"Nine o'clock."

"You can stay for a while," he says and rolls to his side to come face to face with me. "Max goes to the fitness center every Saturday morning. He won´t be back until lunch."

"Oh, okay."

"Want some breakfast?"

"Sure."

He rolls back onto his back and rubs his eyes. "You can have the bathroom first. I´m gonna make some coffee." He pushes himself up from the bed. "Fucking bandage," he grumbles.

***

He's already set the table when I come out from the bathroom. I take a seat on one of the barstools at the counter and inhale the wonderful aroma of fresh coffee.

"Smells good," I rave.

"Enjoy, it's the only cooking skill I have. "

I laugh. "Fast food junkie, huh?"

"Kind of."

"Tell me something about you."

"Why?" He looks at me, puzzled.

I shrug. "Cause it's a little weird, you know? I mean, I've told you so much about me and … and I don´t know much about you. Well, except for the fact that you're a Bandit and you can´t cook."

"That´s more than anyone else, outside of the Bandits, know about me."

"Not very much..." I state.

"All right, ask me something and maybe I'll answer."

"Okay," I stuff a cookie in my mouth, "how did you become a member of the Bandits?"

"I met Max, Lonnie and Kyle at the children´s home, when I was four. We spent a lot of years there together and Max joked around about us and called us the Bandits… it just stuck. That's pretty much it."

"So you were at that place for your whole childhood?"

"Almost, yeah. We ran away a lot, but of course, we always got caught again. At the age of 16 we made an application for emancipation and – I still don't know why – we got the approval. Maybe the staff at the children's home was sick of us, but Max' little brother had to stay there. We all got jobs and moved into an apartment together."

"You all lived together?" I ask, surprised.

"Yeah, until the day Max met Liz. He totally fell in love with her from the first day and a few weeks later Max decided that Liz and her best friend Alex had to become members of the Bandits. I was sick of being around Lonnie and Kyle all the time and I rented this apartment."

"I hope I'll get out of my flat soon, too. But without any money... At least I will turn 18 in December."

***

One hour later...

"I should go now." I push myself up from the couch and walk through the door.

"You think you'll be able to get inside when you go home today?" Michael asks, concerned.

"Yeah, I think so. I hope…"

He goes to his jacket and fumbles in the pocket. "Here, take this." He thrusts 20 dollars into my hand.

"No," I give it back to him, "I´m not taking money from you."

"Maria," he reaches for my hand and puts the money back in it, "it's damn cold outside and that's not gonna change anytime soon. Take the damn money and buy something hot to eat now and then. Maybe I can´t pay your gas bill, but I won´t let you go with nothing." He looks at me seriously and lets me know that he won´t tolerate any protest.

I nod slightly. "Okay... thank you… for everything." I stare at the ground in abashment. "Promise me you'll stay away from Billy," I plead. I remember something Billy said to me yesterday.

"I swear if there's someone else behind this, I'll kill him ... and you!"

"I won´t run away from him, I´m not some pussy."

"But look what he did to you." I motion to his stomach.

"I'll keep my eyes open, okay?"

"Last time you said that, I had to visit you in a hospital," I whisper.

"Not this time. Don't worry about me. Just promise me that you'll watch yourself."

He's still holding my hand and now he pulls me into his arms. I lean my head on his shoulder and inhale his smell. Oh, Michael Guerin, I love your scent.

He loops his strong arms around my waist and rests his chin atop my head.

"Call me, when you get home, okay?" he says, as he ends our hug, too fast.

"If you want me to."

Suddenly I feel his warm lips at my forehead, and then he moves out of my way to hold the door open for me and I stumble down the stairs, dazed.

I sigh with relief as the front door to my flat opens. Thank God, I don´t have to sleep on the street tonight.

My mother and George are in the kitchen, huge bags held in their hands. "What're you doin'?" I ask, startled and bypassing a greeting.

"Your mother's moving out; she'll live at my place now."

"WHAT? You can´t leave me alone!"

"Watch us!"

I turn to my mother. "Mom, you want to leave me here?"

She looks at me drunkenly.

"I don't have any money, how am I supposed to pay the rent? You want me to live on the streets?" I run to her side and shake her. "Talk to me!"

"Maria,..." she croaks.

George pushes me away from her harshly. "Get out of our way."

"No!" I angrily stand up in front of him. "You're a bastard, you´re taking my mother away from me!" I scream at him.

"Shut up, you little bitch!" he yells and shoves me again. I start to stumble and crash to the ground.

They go to the front door. "Mom!" I cry.

She turns around and looks at me, her features emotionless.

"How can you leave me? Wake up! He's a jerk. Don't turn away from me."

For a moment, she seems to be confused, but then she walks out the door.

"I hate you!" I bawl after her when the door shuts. I stare at the ground in shock. What just happened? I can't believe it. It has to be a nightmare or something, she wouldn´t leave me like this, would she?

Suddenly a wave of sadness washes over my body and I start to cry bitterly. I cry so much that I can hardly breathe.

Minutes, maybe an hour passes until I push myself up from the ground and walk to my room. I crash onto my bed, pull the blanket around me, and grab the Teddy I got from my grandma. "How can she leave me?" I whisper again and again.

Suddenly, my cell phone starts to ring. Michael, shit I forgot to call him. I don´t want to speak to him right now, cause he shouldn´t worry about me all the time. But when I don´t answer the phone, he'll worry about me, too, right?

"Yeah," my voice sounds weak.

"Where are you?" Michael asks tersely.

"At home, I know I..."

"Damn it, Maria, why you don´t use that phone? I asked you to call me, remember?" He's pissed.

"Sorry!" I squawk, as new sobs begin to strangle me.

"Did something happen?" he asks, calmer now.

"She left me," I breathe, afraid that the realization will hit me again hard, when I say it out loud.

"Who?"

"My mom. She moved out with George and left me. How am I supposed to pay the rent? And I don´t want to know how much money we owe our landlord."

I can hear him grunt.

"At least George won't hit me again." I try to find something positive in all the mess.

"Listen, Maria. We'll think of something, okay? For now you have the 20 dollars I gave you. Buy some food and try to avoid your landlord. And don't stay at Billy´s at night."

"Okay."

"I have to hang up now. Max is waiting for me at his apartment."

"Goodbye then." I whisper.

"Bye. I´ll call you tomorrow."

I lay the cell phone on the bed and pick up a picture, which stands on my nightstand. It shows my grandma, my mother and me on a sunny day in Central Park. We had worn beautiful dresses, decorated with lots of flowers. It reminds me of the great times we had together in the past. Today, there's nothing left.