Part 19

"WHAT THE HELL...? MICHAEL?!" A loud voice bellows into the room, abruptly interrupting our kiss. The next second Michael backs away from me.

"Max? What're you doin' here?" His voice sounds almost hysterical… almost.

Max crosses his arms over his chest. "I think the question is, what the fuck are YOU doin' here?" he counters angrily.

Silence.

"Answer me!" he yells. "Why are you kissing the Hurricane-slut?"

Michael turns to me. "You better leave."

I nod slightly, hop down from the barstool and walk slowly to the door. Max starts to grab my arm, but Michael detains him. "Let her go, Max!"

The door is slammed shut behind me. I stand in the hallway in shock. What did just happen? Why was Max at home? I hold my breath and then I hear Max' voice again through the wall.

"Count yourself lucky that you're still wearing a bandage... otherwise I'd beat the shit out of you! What's gotten into you?" he screams.

"Relax, man!" Michael tries to calm him down.

"Don't tell me to relax; I just saw you making out with that bitch!"

"It's just a part of my plan, okay?"

"What are you talking about Michael? What plan?"

Yeah, what is he talking about?

Michael sighs. "Okay, listen. I found out that she hates Billy, too, when she was at my place during the abduction. Then she came to the hospital, when I got knifed. All I could think about the last few weeks is: How can I take revenge for that, for what he did to me? I can't beat him up right now, cause I'm still too weak. But I think I found another way to avenge myself: HER."

I clutch the railing that runs along the stairs. What did he just say?

"HER? What's that supposed to mean?"

"I've been tryin' to gain her trust, okay? She hates Billy, too. And just think about it Max, what'll Billy say when he finds out that his supposed-to-be girlfriend is now... well, my girlfriend...?!"

"Okay, just to get things straight in my mind… You don't have REAL feelings for her, do you?"

"No! I just want to pay Billy back."

I start to leave the building. Slowly first, and then I'm practically running. Tears are streaming down my cheeks. How could I have trusted him?

How could I kiss that jackass?

***

I don't know when or how I got home. I just know that I ran the whole way.

I'm lying in my bed now with lots of blankets wrapped around me. I'm still so cold and I can't do anything about it.

I close my eyes and remember the moment when Michael kissed me. I felt so nervous and weird, but also a little beloved. Now I know it was all a big lie. He just pretended to like me. He just told me things I wanted to hear. And I believed him. Oh my god, how could I be so stupid?

It's all so obvious now. He would never betray his best friends because of me. His sudden friendliness was overdone; he had too little fear of getting caught. I grab the alarm clock from my nightstand and throw it at the wall. "Motherfucking asshole!"

Suddenly, the cell phone in my bag beeps. I pull it out and read the message:

Hey Maria, just want to say good night. Sorry about Max. His job out of town was cancelled. I took care of him.

"Yeah, I heard you!" I whisper to myself. My tone is scoffing as new tears well up in my eyes, but I force them back. "The hell with you!" I power off the phone and throw it under the bed. I don't need it anymore.

The only thing that doesn't fit into the whole story is Liz. Has she really been lying to me this whole time, too? Max didn't know anything about the so-called plan for revenge. Why would Michael tell Liz and not Max?

Well, it doesn't matter. I won't trust them anymore. Maybe I won't trust anyone ever again

I can't trust you anymore November 28th, 2007 – Wednesday – 7:30 am

I feel really awful this morning, 'cause I didn't sleep well last night. I spent half of the night thinking about Michael and wishing I hadn't been so stupid in the past. I force myself out of bed and into the bathroom. It's damn cold and I wonder if the mirror will freeze.

***

I arrive at work at 3:30 pm and Kate tells me to wash the dishes first.

School sucked today. Kyle and Lonnie glared at me the entire time. I'm sure they know something. Maybe Max told them about Michael's plan.

The math test in the third period was horrible. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't concentrate and at the end I gave my teacher an almost completely blank paper.

I'm kind of lost at the moment.

"Hey, Maria. How're you doin'?" April asks me with a grin.

"Tired. Very tired," I answer, trying to relax.

"So, how was your night at Michael's place? Didn't get much sleep, huh?" Her grin gets even wider.

My heart tightens as she mentions him. "Uh... I... I don't want to talk about it."

"Speaking of him..." April becomes silent.

"Huh?" I turn around and catch sight of Michael. He's standing outside and makes a gesture through the window for me to come out, too. "Great," I mutter under my breath and throw the dishrag away.

"What do you want?" I snap the moment I get outside.

He looks at me, confused. "I just wanted to see if you're okay. You didn't answer my text yesterday. Are you pissed at me or something?" He shoves his hands in his pockets.

"As you can see, I'm alive. Was there anything else?"

"What's the matter with you?" he asks, still puzzled.

"Nothing. I've gotta go inside now." I want to leave him alone, but he takes a step forward and grabs my wrist.

I spin around. "Don't touch me, Michael."

"You're not leavin' until you tell me what's wrong with you."

"You want to know what's wrong with me? The question is: What's wrong with YOU, Michael?" I yell.

"I still don't get it."

"How could you use me like that? How could you use me to pay Billy back? I told you what's going on in my life and you took advantage of it."

He's getting kind of pale.

"I heard everything you told Max yesterday, you bastard! How could I believe that you're different from the others?" I try to force my tears back but it's not working very well. "I started to trust you, Michael; do you know how much you've hurt me at all?"

"Maria, listen! You're well aware that the things I told Max aren't true." He's almost screaming. "I had to tell him something. What should I told him? The truth?" He releases my wrist.

"I don't know what the truth is anymore. I can't trust you or anyone else," I whisper.

"I'd better go then. Goodbye!" He turns around and I watch him leave.

I lean against the door behind me and bury my face in my hands. I try to convince myself that I did the right thing. But when I remember the expression of hurt in his eyes, when I told him that I don't trust him, I'm not so sure anymore...

***

I come home at 9:00 pm tonight and find a letter pinned to the door.

Mrs. DeLuca,

I am waiting for the payment for the last three months rent until December 7th. Unless payment is made eviction will be immediate.

Your landlord

"Great." Three months rent? That's like $900. Where the hell would I get $900 in just a few days? I take the letter and storm the stairs up to the flat belonging to Mr. Wilson, our landlord.

After a few knocks he opens the door and looks at me, his gaze unfriendly. "What do you want?" he grumbles.

"Um… Hi, Mr. Wilson, I just read this…" I show him his own letter. "Well, my mother is out of town for a while and she didn't leave enough money here. I can't pay the whole amount until next week."

He shrugs carelessly. "Either you pay, or you can start packing your bags." Then he slams the door shut and I walk back to my own flat frustrated. I have to find a new home... and fast!

House-Hunting Novemerber 29th, 2007 – Thursday – 12:30 pm

I cut school for the last three periods because my mission for today is House-Hunting. And I don't want to be late at work after that.

First, I try my luck with an apartment agency. A tall and lean blonde woman greets me with a sceptical look.

"Hi, I'm Maria." I smile at her, but her expression doesn't change.

"My name is Mrs. Cornwall. So, Maria, what do you want?"

"Um..." I'm nervous; the woman doesn't seem very nice to me. "I'm looking for a little studio apartment or something. Nothing special and nothing too expensive."

"Can you give me a better definition of not too expensive?" she says in a condescending tone.

I thought about it last night… a lot. I only get $20 a day at the moment. Kate told me I can come in five days a week, if I want to. So I get maximum of $100 a week and maybe $450 a month. I have to buy food, school stuff, pay for electricity, some clothes now and then, and other things.

"I think I can pay around $150 to $200 a month."

She looks at me and frowns. "Huh? That was a joke, right?"

I stare back at her, puzzled. "Um, no, that… I wasn't kidding."

"Listen, Maria." She leans forward on her desk. "Go back home to your mommy. There aren't any apartments in New York in your price range."

***

Two hours later...

I'm very frustrated right now. I went to like five other agencies; I read all the advertisements for apartments and flats in every newspaper I found – but nothing. They were all too expensive, and too far from school and work.

I can still hear the voices of the people:

"No, there are no apartments."

"No, that's too expensive."

"No." - "No." - "No."

I really have to think about something else.