I have not played episode 5 yet so there will be no spoilers regarding episode 5 nor will this include anything beyond episode 4.

The first few times were kind of awkward at moments, first time they realized they couldn't do it with the lights on, Max just couldn't stand looking at Victoria while they were doing those things and same went for the blonde, it's like they wanted to pretend the other girl was someone else. After that they continued turning the lights off but sometimes things would still get awkward with Max's lack of experience and Victoria's lack of patience. At one point the blonde suggested they got drunk, or high (or both) before doing it, like she was that first night.

"Come on Caulfield this is fucking stupid, just drink the damn thing. You wanna do this or not?"

Max looked at the glass in her hand, it was some kind of expensive liquor mixed with a powder that had to had come from Frank's RV. "Fuck it." She said before swallowing the whole thing.

Drugging themselves seemed to solve the problem, but Max was taking a real hit to her health as she was still not eating much, so they stopped the drugs after a few times. In the end they just decided to keep trying until they were both comfortable, keeping the lights off, and often playing loud music to avoid hearing the other girl say someone else's name. Max eventually got the hang of it and even started being dominant, they had perfected their little game.

It had been a week now and Max was laying in Victoria's bed, with only a blanket covering her lower half, cigarette in hand she took a deep drag and kept the smoke in for as long as she could before letting go of it, it burned her insides but Max didn't care. She hated the smell of the smoke, it always grossed her out "At least switch to e-cigs!" she remembered the phrase she would always use with smokers; but hypocrisy had become a part of her now, just like doing the things she hated. Like Victoria Chase.

Max looked at the other girl, she looked peaceful, even kind of pretty, when she was asleep. Her phone started vibrating on the floor, Max tried her hardest to reach it while Victoria's arm was still wrapped around her waist. Finally she managed to take it and looked at the bright screen.

Message from Kate

Max sighed. She hadn't talked to Kate since this whole Victoria thing started. In reality, she hadn't talked to anyone. Her whole life now was going to class, not listening to the teachers, going back and getting her frustration out on Victoria. To think about it, she hadn't even talked to Warren since Chloe died.

But Kate was different. Kate knew. Max had no proof of it, but she felt like Kate knew. She got out of the hospital sooner than expected and the whole school had celebrated her return, they threw an amazing welcome party and everyone was invited, even Victoria. Kate was blown out by all this love towards her, everyone was there, except from one person: Max.

After her return she had avoided Kate in class, ignored all her calls and messages, even used her rewind whenever they met in the dorms. To be honest, she was afraid. Afraid and embarrassed. She couldn't even imagine what she would say to her friend.

Max took a long drag out of her cigarette, long enough to make her head dizzy and her eyes watery, before opening the message.

"Hey Max, just wanted to let you know that Ms. Grant wants us to make a speech about bullying, together… You should come to class some time. Anyways, I'm not mad at you so you can answer me any time you want. Just wanna make sure you're ok. – Kate M."

The brunette sighed and let her phone fall to the ground again. "I can't do this anymore" She took one last deep drag from her cigarette before turning over to the naked girl beside her and exhaling the smoke on her face.

"What the fuck Maxine!?" Victoria said between coughs, suddenly awaken by the smoke. "That is disgusting! You could find a better way to wake me up."

"Get up Maribeth" Max threw her cigarette on the ground, to which Victoria frowned.

"What is your problem?" The blonde said, leaning back on her elbows.

"I got a message from Kate."

There was a moment of silence and Max was looking at the ground. The silence continued until the sound of Victoria's long sigh broke it.

"Ugh, I can't deal with this" she laid down on the bed again.

Another moment of silence, this one lasted less than the last one as Max broke it.

"You… saw her a few days ago right? In her welcome party…" Victoria nodded silently, not looking at her.

"How was she? Did she -" she got cut off by Victoria

"Stop talking Maxine." The blonde turned to the side to not face the other girl.

Max raised her eyebrows, Kate's subject was very sensitive to Victoria, and in fact she never talked about it. Max would often hear Victoria muttering the girl's name over and over in her sleep, she breathed heavily and moved a lot during those dreams, nightmares perhaps?

"I want to know." Max finally spoke. "Did you talk to her?"

Victoria didn't respond, a couple of minutes passed and Max was still waiting for an answer but none came out. Suddenly she noticed the other girl was shaking.

"Victoria?" She said, leaning closer to the girl. "Are you-"

"Don't fucking touch me" her voice came out trembling "I'm fine"

After a minute Victoria finally turned back to the other girl, she breathed weirdly, as if she was trying not to hyperventilate.

"I… never talked to her. I saw her, when she entered the room..." Victoria started talking.

"I saw her and she was beautiful, she was smiling, she was happy. And I was too fucking ashamed to talk to her." She sat on the bed and leaned her back on the wall. "I just stood there, looking while everyone was greeting her, she hugged Stella and Alyssa and asked for you, they told her you weren't there. She looked sad again, lost… then she looked at me."

"It was horrible, she saw me and it was like a knife through my chest. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe… everything just stopped. She didn't smile or frown... she just stared. I couldn't take it anymore so I left, I think I tripped on a table and fell on a bunch of cupcakes… It was quite a scene."

Max kept silent for a moment, she didn't know what to say. The silence became awkward after a while so Victoria broke it.

"Ugh this is bullshit." Victoria took a cigarette and lit it.

"You should go, Max." She said after exhaling the smoke.

Max nodded. "Fine Victoria." She said as she got up to pick up her clothes which were scattered around the place. The blonde put up some rap music while she smoked in silence.

She got half dressed with only her underwear and a shirt, carrying the rest of her clothes as she headed out the door. "So I'm the one doing the walk of shame today huh"

She opened the door careless, without even bothering to look if anyone was there to see her getting out of Victoria's room looking like that. The hall was full of people who just stared blankly at her as she entered her room she could hear Victoria yelling "MAX WHAT THE FUCK!?" before she held up her hand and rewind. She had stopped caring about abusing her power, it wasn't like she was using it for something more important like she did in the past. She stopped saving birds from dying, stopped saving Alyssa from stupid accidents, and of course there was no secret investigation to use them anymore.

Max looked at her phone, the still unanswered message from Kate, she sighed and looked at herself in the mirror: Sex hair, Victoria's lipstick going from her lips to her collarbones, hickeys everywhere, pale and thin from not eating, it got even worse since she started smoking, and those bags under her eyes that hadn't left her since Chloe died.

"I look like a mess"

Gathering her shower stuff, she left her room to take a shower. As soon as she was turning towards the shower a person entered the dorms, Kate.

They stared at each other blankly before Kate walked, or almost ran, towards Max. She put up her right hand to rewind but felt Kate firmly grabbing her arm.

Max looked up to face her friend.

"Can we talk? Please?"

Hey! Haven't updated in a while, just been busy, today I got inspired and wanted to write so here it is.
I haven't played episode 5 because I lost all my saves so i'm replaying the whole thing (currently on ep 4 again) so when I finish the game i'm probably gonna write much more out of feels and sadness.
Alright that's it for now. Thank you for reading!
Please review!
Your reviews make me happy :)