HEY GUYS! IMPORTANT: I'm posting one last chapter tonight (this one) and if you like it and want me to continue leave a review...I'm asking for at LEAST 3 reviews on this chapter before I post another...soooo when this chapter gets three reviews I'll updateAlso, In this chapter you'll be learning ALOT about James...and why the two broke up, and also alot about there relationship...I'm especially proud of this chapter, it's my favorite one that I've written so far and I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it...

James:

Her words were like small paper cuts, as much as I wish it wasn't true, she was right, she should have never trusted me, she had every right to be angry at me, and shut me out of her life for good, I was her best friend, she trusted me with her life and I failed. I couldn't help but feel worthless knowing how I had let things get so out of control between us, the fights we had back when we were younger weren't worth loosing my best friend, I blamed myself for what happened, because it was my fault. And Katie was the one who had to pick up the pieces from the relationship I had shattered in only one night.

A friendship we had for almost ten years…..gone.

A friendship built on trust….. Broken,

I had broken so many promises that night to her and now, they were all coming back into mind like a sudden jolt of electricity forever leaving an imprint of those memories in my head that would replay over and over before I go insane.

"I keep wondering what I had done to you that night, what I said to make you do what you did, I keep wondering who the person I knew and loved went. You vanished right in front of my eyes." She spoke, sending another rush of guilt through my body.

I have always felt the responsibilities of my own mistakes and lack of judgments. I never really saw how they affected people, I only saw how they affected me, whether it was drama, or a break up, or what not. Maybe that's really self-centered of me, but it never really bothered me until this point. After I broke up with Katie, I had a streak of just being around the wrong people. I honestly didn't think about my actions, and I thought I'd be fine hiding them to myself and away from everyone else.

Over this summer I started seeing how these poor decisions ended up coming around to bite me in the butt. It put a pretty big rift between a good friend of mine, and made things awkward for me. But even this wasn't close to what I found out was happening to Kaite as a result of what I did almost 3 summers ago. She didn't tell me for a while, but there were something's that didn't seem quite right. When she finally told me that she knew that I had been seeing another girl, I felt so broken and so helpless. While I didn't directly mean to hurt her, she ended up getting hurt as an indirect way to get back at me.

I hated myself that much more for not only what I did, but seeing her pay for my actions. I started realizing that the things I choose to do, don't just affect me and my little world. They affect other people, maybe slightly for some, maybe a lot for others. I realized I couldn't just do whatever I wanted, because there would always be some kind of reaction to every action, whether positive or negative. Words can not express how sorry I was, and still am to her.

"I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean for that to happen. You were the first one to show me love, true love. I know you will probably hate me forever. But please be happy again. You are truly an amazing girl Katie."

I waited so long to hear those words. Weeks, months, and now, after almost three years you finally say them, I should be wrapped in your embrace right now, but I'm not, because sometimes sorry isn't enough, sometimes nothing is enough.I fell in love, watched it grow, watched it change, and watched it fall apart"

With that, Katie took her hand and swept it over his cheek, admiring the boy who caused so much pain, but also caused happiness and joy her entire life. She let a small tear slip through her glistened eyes before taking a step back and walking away.

Having to watch her walk away, no support, no compassion, loneliness, no love in my life, depression, and a multitude of other negative things will happen sometimes, some people, no matter how much they love one another, it doesn't work out. Is it bad luck, bad karma, or just life, who knows? It doesn't make sense does it?

Is it better to keep the love I have and endure what life has dished out, so we both can be sad, or is it better to want more for her, and leave so she can begin anew? Its worse thing life is giving me. But I do understand why it is necessary. Only once in my life, I truly believe, I found someone who can completely turn my world around. I tell them things that I have never actually shared with another soul and she absorbed everything I said and actually want to hear more. I shared hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at me.

When something wonderful happened, I couldn't wait to tell her about it, knowing she'd share in my excitement. She was never embarrassed to cry with me when I was hurting, or laugh with me when I would make a complete fool out of myself. Never did she hurt my feelings or make me feel like I wasn't good enough, but rather; she built me up and showed me the things about myself that made me special. There was never any pressure, jealousy, or competition, but only a quiet calmness when we were around one and another. I could be myself and not worry about what she would think of me because she loved me for who I was. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song, or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in my heart to cherish forever. Memories of our childhood come back and are so clear and vivid; it's like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seemed to be part of daily life where, now, it's infrequent, and sometimes doesn't exist at all. A phone call or two during the day always helped to get through a long day's work and always brought a smile to my face. Things that never interested me before about her become fascinating because I now know they are important to Katie, who is so special to me. I think of her now on every occasion and in everything I do. Simple things bring her to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind, or even a storm cloud on the horizon. She opened her heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and trusting me and opening her heart to me I shattered it, and in the process I shattered a friendship.

It was over an hour after Katie had left that I was still at the beach, I don't really know why I'm still here, but it was the sky that compelled me to stay, and I also had so much on my mind, things that I wanted to fix, change, re do. So I just sit here on the beach running my fingers through the cool, gritty sand, listening to the supple roar of the ocean, and I begin to feel myself being enveloped with the chilly, moist ocean breeze The beach is fun during the day, a place for recreation. Swim, surf, fish and tan. But the beach isn't very interesting as it sits under the sun. It is much more beautiful and peaceful at night, and a good place to just sit and think. . This night, while I sit on the beach thinking of how I can possibly make it right with her, or if I can even make it right. I felt like I was lying on my bed trying to fall asleep. I was in my dark room under my cool sheets. The waves were notes of soft music. The breeze was the soft wind of the air vent. And there were stars. They were all tiny lights you can see at night: the little green dot on the computer monitor, the glow of the alarm, the blinking midnight clock on the stereo that I never bother to set.

I turned to my left and noticed an empty beer can, evidently the sign that said;

"NO DRINKING" was simply ignored by whose ever beverage that was.

I stopped drinking, pretty much for good, over two years ago. Because alcohol was the reason She and I had broken up in the first place, we had gotten into a terrible fight we argued about the very common thing about us—her parents, and me moving almost five hours away, the hatred her parents had towards me. her mom did not like me for her.

The reason is that we were still young and we had o permanent jobs yet to create our own lives in the future. At this point, we were still finishing High School. But nevertheless, we still tried to keep in touch through all the barriers in our relationship; although, the barriers became worse. Whenever I called her at home, her parents would say that She was "not around" even though she just stayed there the whole day.

And then we got into a heated argument about her sociology partner whom she had been spending so much of her time with, I became jealous knowing he was with her for almost three hours every week day and sometimes even longer, I started to accuse her of having feelings for him when she started to call off dates to see him and I started making false accusations of her dating with him behind my back.

I had little to no trust in her, Because of what happened; I started being cold and uneasy. I got mad easily, I got annoyed easily.

When she had declined my offer of taking her out for dinner one night, because we hadn't had a real date night since she had met with her new sociology class mate, I had gotten so angry at her, the argument ended with me raising my voice at her which I had never done and slamming the front door, in result her in tears.

I felt as if she was lying to me, telling me she didn't have feelings for him, I thought she did, and that's when nothing my head was making sense except for the overwhelming temptation for alcohol. I had gone to the bar and gotten myself completely shit faced a really hot girl asked in a way that could only be called overtly flirty what I wanted to drink.

" 2 Shots of 151?" I said in the hesitant way I still have, knowing that's about as big a buzz kill of an answer as one can provide, since I've also sworn off Diet Coke.

"I've got the entire night," I tried to joke.

Two shots turned into four shots, and then the numbers began to double drastically, the entire time I had the girl next to me cheering me on getting drunk her own self drunk as well, we shared a kiss, and one thing led to another. The next thing I knew I was laying in some cheap hotel bed with the worst hang over in my life and a blonde girl beside me sleeping.

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