Here is the final chapter of The Sulfur Juxtaposition. Writing this fic, and it's prequel The Parental Ambition, has taken up a good chunk of my time ever since I began drafting TPA in early 2010. The responses to both fics have been incredible, beyond my wildest dreams, and I don't think I will ever be able to top the successes of these stories. I wish I could continue, but all things have to end, and many good things go on so long they are no longer good when they do end. I may do oneshots in what I'm calling Savannah!Verse in the future, but this is the last of the novellas. They have been so much fun to write, and I hope you all have enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed creating them. I especially hope you have enjoyed Gilda. She is, of course a product of the writers which never made it to the screen, and I hope I breathed life back into her to your satisfaction.
Once again, I only own the characters I've created.
Goin' to the chapel and you're gonna get ma-a-arried.
Goin' to the chapel and you're gonna get ma-a-arried!
Penny sat up, confused, rubbing her eyes. She looked to the right and saw Leonard beside her, looking equally confused.
It took them a moment to notice Amy, Bernadette, and Missy standing in the doorway. "We made you French toast!" Missy said.
"Were you singing?" Penny said, still confused.
"That was my idea!" Amy said, raising her hand for good measure.
"I'll make a note of that for my autobiography," Leonard said, sitting up.
"And what's the working title on that?" Penny asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well I'm thinking of calling it we're getting married today!" He said, shouting the last part, turning to her. She threw her arms around him.
"Hey!" Bernadette snapped. "Hug later. French toast now. Don't want it to get cold, now do you?"
After they'd eaten and gotten dressed, it was time for Leonard to go to 4A to get ready while the girls and mothers came to 5B to help with Penny. He stood at the door for a moment, Penny near him, then sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. "Well," he said.
She nodded, leaning over and kissing his cheek. "See you on the flipside."
"Shame your husband couldn't make it," Penny's mom said to Beverly.
"Mom," Penny said through clenched teeth.
"Oh, he's been my ex husband for several years now. He was cheating on me. Not that our sex life was particularly active, but he still shouldn't be drilling someone else."
"I can't believe I'm saying this," Penny said, "but I think the term is 'screwing'."
"I think that drilling works perfectly well," Beverly said. "See, if the man's penis is the drill…"
"Yeah, I got it, I got it!" Penny snapped.
"I think that's enough of that talk for the day" Mary said easing in next to Penny's mother to help work on Penny's hair. "Did you want it up, or are we keeping with the simplicity of your dress?"
"Don't get too crazy," Penny said. "But I trust you guys."
"I'll draw what they're doing so you can see it," Gilda said, propping her whiteboard up in front of Penny.
"Well that just makes it all even better."
"The board makes everything better," Gilda said, nodding. "Are you still getting Savannah a puppy when you get back from Switzerland?"
"Yes," Penny said. "But don't tell her yet."
"My lips are sealed."
"Are you excited, sweetheart?" Mary asked, leaning around Penny to see her face.
"This is one of the best days of my life," Penny said. "And we're not even married yet."
"I always knew you two were more than individually wrapped slices of cheese," Mary said casually as she ran a comb through Penny's hair.
Beverly looked confused, but for probably the first time in her life, didn't comment.
"So have you heard about the wedding present that Savannah's gotten for you?" Gilda asked.
"No," Penny said. "Did she make us something?"
"No," Gilda said. "But if it works out the way we've been planning it, I guarantee you cry."
"You're not perspiring nearly as much as you were on you and Penny's first date, Sheldon noted as Leonard adjusted his suit coat one more time.
"Well, I'm a little more certain of how this will go," he replied. "Raj, have you and Howard decided which one of you is marrying us?"
"Howard and I agreed that since he didn't get to perform the ceremony at his own wedding, he should perform it here," Raj said. "I argued that Bernadette might feel left out, but then she bullied me into agreeing to let her officiate whenever Missy and I tie the knot."
"See?" Sheldon said to Leonard. "It all works out for the best."
"Says the guy who got married at city hall," Howard mumbled under his breath.
There was a knock at the door, and Wyatt stuck his head in. "Roof's ready. Are you guys?"
"I'm ready," Leonard said. "We might have to wait a bit for all the women to be, though."
"I doubt it," Raj said. "With all of them getting Penny ready? They probably beat us."
"Especially with that twenty minute tangent rant Sheldon went off on when Leonard pronounced the "t" in "often"," Howard added.
"Shhh, don't start him up again," Leonard said.
"I'm not going to talk during your ceremony," Sheldon said. "My job is to hold your incredibly wiggly daughter who is probably going to grow up feeling left out that she won't be up there with you and Savannah."
"You're gonna be standing four feet from me," Leonard said. "She'll be in the pictures. And when we go to the park for the reception, she'll be right with us unless she cries."
Howard looked down at his phone. "Penny's ready. And Missy's got Savannah and Ada waiting up on the roof." He smiled at Leonard. "Are you ready to get married?"
It was a good thing that Leonard and Penny had modeled their wedding so closely after Howard and Bernadette's, because Penny was afraid that if it had been different, she'd forget what to do. She'd never felt this level of excitement before – the only thing that came close was the day that she'd taken what felt like the hundredth pregnancy test and it came back positive, nearly two years after they'd started trying.
She remembered confessing her nerves to Leonard as they lay in bed the previous night.
"I'm not afraid to marry you," she said. "But I'm so nervous about tomorrow. And excited. I'm just as excited."
"I've heard that's normal," Leonard said. "And I'm glad because I'm beyond nervous myself. But hey, it's not a formal church ceremony. If you're nervous, lighten the atmosphere. Make a joke."
"Make a joke?" Penny asked.
"Or we could just shove our nerves down and go through the motions," Leonard said. "But that's never been us."
Now Penny smiled at the idea, standing a bit less than the roof's length away from Leonard and the rest of their friends. "Are you ready?" Wyatt asked from beside her.
She nodded, then waved at Leonard. "Funny seeing you here!"
"Well, I woke up this morning and thought I'd like to marry you. You know what they say about great minds!"
The lightening of the atmosphere seemed to amuse everyone but Mary, who rushed to her seat after placing crosses at various places around the rooftop.
"Let's go," Penny said to Wyatt.
It seemed to take forever to reach Bernadette, Howard, Leonard, Sheldon, and Savannah and Ada. Penny amused herself by glancing to the side to see Gilda holding Iris firmly in her lap; the girl didn't understand why she couldn't be with Savannah. Mark had his leg up, blocking the aisleway in case Iris did manage to wiggle away from her mother.
When Penny did reach Leonard, Wyatt came over to him. I own seven guns, he said in a stage whisper. Leonard made a show of jumping to the side. Savannah giggled.
"Leonard," Howard said. "Penny. I stand here today because I wasn't able to officiate at my own wedding and Sheldon and Amy decided to have a stranger do it - "
"Oh would you let it go!" Amy hissed from her spot.
Howard cleared his throat. "And because we've all known for a decade that you two were absolutely, one hundred percent going to be standing here one day, and I almost feel completely honored to be a part of it. It's a long time in coming, but this just shows how love can stand the test of time without a piece of paper to back it up. And today, you stand before me, your children, your family and friends, to make your love official in the eyes of the government."
"Government or it didn't happen," Penny said, raising an eyebrow at Leonard and nodding. He smirked.
"Alright, Howard said. "Vows. Who wants to go first?"
"I will," Penny said immediately. "That okay?"
"After you," Leonard said, smiling at her.
Penny pulled out the folded card with her vows written on it, but her hands were shaking so hard she couldn't unfold it. "Oh, I don't need it anyway," she said, tucking the card down her bra. "I can memorize lines." Facing Leonard, she took a deep breath.
"Leonard Hofstadter. All the romantic movies I've dragged you too all those years had a similar theme to them – the realization that love was there all along. I remember the moment that I realized that I loved you, but each and every day since then I've been able to have that same wonderful realization that Jennifer Aniston and Sandra Bullock had at the end of those movies. That you were there, and you were loving me. Through my fears of finally settling down, to our long journey toward parenthood, through tragedy and dozens of other fears, from illness to injury to finances to our abilities to be a good mother and father, the one thing that I was able to re – visit, whenever I needed to, was that you loved me, and over time I learned that that didn't have to be scary, but it could be wonderful. You and I have two daughters together – we're already a family, and now we're going to be joined even more than we already are. I can't wait to realize you love me all over again tomorrow, and the next day, and every day for the rest of our lives. And that feeling will always fill me with great joy, because thinking about how the person you love loves you just as much is the greatest thought that I can think of. And I'm so lucky to be able to have the greatest thought in the world in my mind forever." She smiled at him. "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, 'til our brains are put into android robot bodies, when I'll fight right alongside you."
Leonard smirked at the last line, and she saw his shoulders shaking ever so slightly, like he was trying so very hard not to laugh. That's amazing, he mouthed at her, and she smiled more broadly. She'd put a lot of thought into that.
Penny closed her fist around the ring that Bernadette handed her then took Leonard's hand and slid his band on, looking like she wasn't sure whether to cry or to grin.
Howard looked to Leonard expectantly, and he cleared his throat. He didn't need to read from the paper. He'd run these sentences over and over in his head.
"Penny. Albert Einstein, as he lay dying, was working on a theory of everything, a theory that, if true, tie together gravity and electromagnetism with elements of quantum theory. Einstein died before he could find it. I'm luckier than him. I've found my theory of everything, and it's you, and it's Savannah," Leonard winked at the little girl standing beside Penny, "and it's Nevada. I thought I knew it the day we met, but as any scientific idea, this one had to be tested. And we've been through…" dammit, he wasn't supposed to be tearing up, "so much together, and we've passed every test. And now we're here. I'm so happy that we have these two little girls. And I'm thrilled that I get to be your husband. As Albert Einstein says, 'where there is love, there is no imposition'. Today, our theory of everything becomes law. The two of us are as certain as gravity, as true as cosmic expansion, as constant as the laws of motion. Einstein also says that everything is determined by forces over which we have no control. I didn't choose to love you. Just like those laws didn't choose to work. They just do. And I just do." He cocked his head slightly, smiling at her as he drew her words back to the forefront of his brain. "For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. Until our brains are put into android robot bodies, when I'll cower behind you as you kill all of our enemies."
Penny laughed. Savannah laughed. Leonard figured their friends were laughing too, but he wasn't paying attention to them.
Penny put her hand out. "Put the ring on it, Hofstadter!"
Now Leonard laughed. Sheldon handed him the ring, and Leonard took Penny's hand and slid it on. Penny's wearing a wedding ring. He gave her a tight smile so she wouldn't see how close he was to tears.
"Well then, by the power vested in me by the State of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife," Howard said, a big smile on his face.
Leonard didn't wait for him to say anything more. He took the step that separated him and Penny and put his hands on her waist and his mouth on her own and she put her hands up to his face and Savannah clapped along with the rest of them.
"I love you so much," Penny told him quietly when their lips separated.
"I love you so much," he said, touching his nose to hers. "Penny Hofstader."
Ada fell asleep on the way to the reception, and woke up screaming bloody murder as everyone was sitting down to eat. Penny was standing up to go to the baby, but Bernadette flew by her. "Maid of honor to the rescue," she said. "I'll get her. And if not Missy will help me. Right Missy?" she asked loudly.
"What?" Missy said, looking up from where she was adjusting Raj's sleeve.
"If I yell your name, you need to come over behind this bush and help me with the baby."
"Oh. Got it."
"Thanks Bernadette!" Penny yelled after her friend. She leaned against Leonard, putting her head on his shoulder. "I want to eat everything here," she said. "But I don't want a food coma on our wedding night."
"You've gotten through my food coma several times," Leonard said. "I can always return the favor."
The table was quieting down – the room was significantly quieter now that Ada was gone – and then a voice broke over the quiet murmurings. "Um, I have a toast!" Amy blurted. The table fell silent, and she cleared her throat. "If I may."
"Uh, sure Ames," Penny said, nodding.
"Okay." Amy stood up. "So a few weeks ago I was in Leonard and Penny's apartment. Savannah and Ada were down with Sheldon and I, and Savannah wanted one of her stuffed animals. I thought that these two were in a hotel somewhere, so I thought nothing of walking in. Thing is, they weren't in a hotel. They were in their bedroom. And let me tell you, the door wasn't closed."
"Oh my God!" Leonard blurted out, looking absolutely horrified. He exchanged looks with Penny, and she spoke up, "Amy, this really isn't a…"
"And," Amy said loudly, "I looked away, immediately, and I was embarrassed, but then…then I looked back."
"Oh." Penny covered her face in her hands and put it down on the table. Leonard put a hand on her back.
"And the reason that I had to look back," Amy said, "was in the split second that I saw them together, I noticed one thing. Their eyes. Their eyes were locked on each other, like they couldn't look anywhere else even if they wanted to. But the thing is…" Amy said, pausing. "They could look anywhere else. They could close their eyes. They could focus on something in the room. But they still gave the impression that the last thing in the world they wanted was to do was look away from each other. They wanted to make sure they were as emotionally connected as possible. And when I saw them like that…" Amy shook her head, and when she spoke again her voice cracked. "I already knew you guys were perfect for each other," she said. "But it just hit me, all over again. You've been together for over eight years, and you still just want to take each other in. As much as possible." Amy raised her glass. "May you have decades and decades of eye contact."
"Oh, Ames!" Penny cried as the rest of the group applauded, putting a hand to her mouth as the tears flooded. She leaned to the side, putting her head on Leonard's shoulder again as he moved his hand from her back to her other shoulder.
"Never leaving the bedroom door open again?" he asked her through his teeth.
"Never ever ever," she confirmed just as discreetly.
"I feel like that toast was a representation of our group," Howard said, and everyone laughed.
"And just think," Mary said, clasping her hands together. "From now on, you can take each other in without having to answer to the good lord!"
"Penny," came Bernadette's voice. The group looked over at the blonde, who was walking back toward them carrying a quieted Ada. "She's all settled!"
"Give her to me" Penny said, sitting up and holding out her arms. "Hey, baby girl," she said, sitting the baby on her lap so that Ada was facing her. "Mommy and Daddy got married today!"
Savannah jumped down from her seat and ran to Penny's side. "Sissy," she said. "Mommy is a Hofstadter. Hof-stad-ter."
"What are you doing?" Leonard asked the girl.
Ada was looking at Savannah, her brow furrowed.
"Come on," Savannah said. "Hof-stad-ter."
"Hoss-e-dah."
Savannah's jaw dropped at the same time that both of her parents' did. The girl looked over at Gilda and then began jumping up and down. "She said Hofstadter! She said Hofstadter!"
"Hoss-e-dah!" Ada said, clapping her hands.
Penny looked at Leonard her jaw still unhinged, feeling the tears come to her eyes. "Baby girl," she said, looking back at the baby. "You talked!"
"Hofstadter!" Leonard said, leaning over toward Ada.
"Hoss-e-dah!"
Raj stood up and started clapping, and the rest of the wedding party, some standing, some staying in their seats, followed suit.
"Baby girl," Penny said, looking at Savannah. "Did you teach her this?"
Savannah grinned. "Aunt Gilda and Iris helped me. We practiced."
"So you got her to say it before?" Leonard asked.
Savannah shook her head, climbing into her father's lap. "No. She couldn't say it until all of us were Hofstadters."
"Is that a fact?" Penny asked, smiling through her teary eyes.
"Looks like it to me!" Savannah said, looking proud of herself.
Raj stood up and raised his glass. "Everyone – to the Hofstadters!"
"Everything is determined…by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust—we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper."
—Albert Einstein