A/N Random question (I've been very down lately). If you could imagine meeting me, what type of person would you think I was? Like my personality, how I talk, what I would say ... And please answer. I just really wanna know what my parallel universe thinks of me.

See you sooner rather than laters, baby.
-

It's been almost two weeks, and for this whole two weeks, I've been mustering up the courage to ask Effie to buy me a pregnancy test. I was going to do it when we got to District Four, and when we got there, I thought I could wait until Five. Well, we've just left Six and are on our way to Seven.

I knew it was time for me to ask. Lately, I've been feeling a little nauseous, and I was suspecting it was because of the constant motion of the train, swaying and speeding along, but it could have been because of other things. I do get sick of trains pretty quickly, especially since I've basically been living on one since the reaping.

No matter how much Cato tried, I couldn't get myself in the mood for any of Cato's little antics. I knew that if I wasn't pregnant now, it's only a matter of time before it does happen so is rather play it safe. He would try before bed, when we woke up, in the shower... he even asked if we could go on the roof of the train, but I always said no, claiming I was too tired, didn't have time, had to get ready, or Effie was calling-that one worked the most. Effie is the only person Cato is actually afraid of- and he would back off.

One thing is for sure, he somehow managed to get his hands on some protection for the both of us. I suspected that he got the huge box of tiny foil packets when he disappeared at one point in Four, but he didn't say anything about them. He completely missed my speech, not like he had to be there anyway. I had found the box in the bedside nightstand when I woke up to get tissue from the drawer.

I had almost jumped in fear of seeing them. I'd never seen one before, or held one in my hands, but I found myself curious. While he was sleeping, I silently snuck one out of the box before running into the bathroom and locking the door before Cato could wake and catch me. I ripped open the packet, feeling the rubbery, slippery material before throwing it in the trash, covering it up with tissue. Touching it was kind of scary, if I'm being honest, and made me really nervous. I don't think Cato even knows that one is missing from the box, or that there was one in our bathroom garbage.

Anyway, now I'm pacing in front of Effie's door, contemplating how to approach Effie about this. I didn't think she knew that I was even sexually active with Cato, and seeing as she's my 'Capitol mom', she may just cut my head off, especially for what I need to ask her. Going to your mom- or fake mom- at sixteen and asking her to get you a pregnancy test is like asking for your own death. Not that there's anything wrong me being pregnant at this age, there's nothing wrong with it. It's just that I don't think I'm ready like other girls may be.

"What are you doing?"

My head snapped up, eyes focusing on Cato staring at me. I released my hand from my mouth- I had been biting my nails- and sucked in a breath. I still had not told Cato about what I think can be true. I don't know how he would take it. I'm not even gonna tell him about taking the test...

Cato really overreacted when I asked him about us having kids, so I didn't want to bring it up again. It was like there was something he knew, something he was keeping away from me. I didn't know why he was so angry about a baby, because if he was man enough to take me to bed, he should be man enough to deal with the consequences. Plus, he's basically a father to his little brother, who absolutely adores him. There was no reason for him to lash out on me, or maybe there is..

"Hello? Earth to Rose." Cato shakes his hand in my face, disturbing me from my thoughts. He's standing before me, sweating through a grey muscle tee, a small white towel wrapped around his neck. He must have been working out. "What are you doing?" he repeats.

"Oh." I look back at Effie's closed door, completely forgetting what my objective was. "I was just waiting for Effie. She wants to go over the rest of my outfits for the tour," I lie easily, crossing my fingers behind my back. It's become easier and easier to lie to Cato and keep my secret. I don't think that's a good thing...

Cato nods, believing my dishonesty. "Ok, well I'm gonna go shower. You can join if you want to," he says suggestively, reaching for me with sweaty palms.

I step back, shaking my head, and Cato pouts. "C'mon, that's the fifteenth time you've rejected me. I'm getting fucking blue balls over here. What's the deal?"

Effie saves me before I have to answer to Cato, leaving him high and dry.

"Oh! Primrose! I was just about to get you, we're arriving in District Seven now."

I nod, turning away from Cato quickly, not giving him time to say anything more to me about anything. I know he's desperate for intimacy, especially now, but our relationship did fine without it, so he can wait for me to wrap my head around things. It doesn't mean I don't want it too, because I do, but my baby would be put before anything in this world, even him. And right now, I have to see if I even have a baby- another one, I mean.

"Kitten-"

"I have to get ready, Cato." I lean up, placing a soft kiss to his cheek, one so soft I couldn't tell if my lips had made it to his face. Cato bit back on his tongue, but nodded. He let the little kiss revert his thoughts to another place for now.

"We can talk later," I added, stepping in the direction Effie was walking. Cato stared down at my lips, hanging onto every word. "There's something I want to tell you."

I was going to tell him, right after I convince Effie to get the test for me, but only if the result is positive. If it's negative, nothing will be spoken of the moment. Once that's done, everything will be okay, I hope.

"I was thinking of maroon for our outfit today, what do you think?" Effie says just as I finally start listening to her. She says our like we're both wearing the clothes. She just loves living her dreams through me.

"Yeah," I say distantly, trying to form the words I needed to ask into a coherent sentence.

Effie nods, leading me to the prep cart. I could already hear my prep team chatting lively.

Just as she's turning the door knob, I grab Effie's arm. It was more forceful than if anticipated, but I smiled apologetically. "Wait, Effie."

Effie turns, looking at me expectantly. "What is it?"

Deep breaths. "I need you to do something for me, and before I tell you, can you promise not to freak out?" Oh, who am I kidding? This is Effie Trinket. The woman freaks out over the flowers being changed on the dinner table.

"No promises," Effie says, confirming my thoughts exactly.

I pull her away from the cart door so that the others won't hear. I also look up and down the hall, making sure that Cato or anyone else wasn't coming before I ask her.

"Can you, um-" Out with it, Primrose! "I need a pregnancy test."

The words rush out of my mouth so quickly that it sounds like one word rather than a coherent sentence. Effie freezes in her spot, her eyes so wide, I thought they would pop out from their sockets.

"You... A, you need a what?" she yells.

I shush her with my finger and roll my eyes. She tuts at me unappreciatively. "Effie, please. I really don't want to hear your lecture right now. I just need a test, that's all I'm asking." I take a huge breath, staring at her hard.

Effie opens and closes her mouth, and I'm proud to say that the woman was finally speechless.

"Well, I'm sure we can find one in the medic's cart," she finally answers after a few beats of silence.

"We have a medic's cart?" I ask, but I realize I'm straying off topic. "I mean, um... well can we get it now?"

Effie nods. "I can call and have it sent down right away. We really don't have time for this, though. We're pulling into District Seven right now and you need to get ready."

"But I need to know now."

"You can take it when it gets here, but that's all you'll have time for. We can read the results after the speech and questions."

Effie pulls out her phone while shoving me into the hands of the prep team.

I sit down in front of my vanity while Effie stays out in the hallway the entire time I'm getting ready. The one thing I've realized while being prepped is that I'm no longer uncomfortable with being naked around these three. Darsha, Theana, and Otana, my stylists have seen every freckle on my skin more than twenty times, so now I just sit back and let them work their magic.

It takes them a little more time than usual. I've developed huge dark under eye circles and the large bruise I got weeks ago is just starting to heal somewhat. All the stress I've been going through has taken a toll on my body. My hair is dull and flat, I'm too tired to do anything, and I walk around looking like a zombie.

Just as the finishing touches are being down to my outfit, Effie pulls me away and into the bathroom.

She hands me a white box, the words Pregnancy Test in boxy pastel pink and purple letters, along with a photo of a pregnant woman on it. There are small words, the fine print no one ever reads, so of course I don't.

"Hurry up. And don't think we're not done talking about this," Effie scolds, pushing the test into my hands. "We've got a lot to discuss young lady, you just wait."

I take the test, shimmying out of my skirt and plopping down on the toilet. It's a good thing I decided to hold my pee all morning, just for this moment.

Effie stands close by, watching as I pull the flimsy white stick out of the box, turning the box around to read the directions.

Okay, so I'm just supposed to pee on the tip of the stick and wait five minutes. I can do that, it's not that hard.

I carefully oblige, relieving myself on the little stick, the one that can determine the rest of my life. Once I'm done, I finish my business, leaving the test on the bathroom sink.

"How long do we wait?" Effie asks as I'm washing my hands.

"Five minutes," I mutter.

"We don't have five minutes. You're going on right now."

"But Effie, I'm sure they can wait-"

"They can, but we cannot! We're on a schedule! You got yourself into this mess, not those people, so I think you can handle standing in the spotlight for thirty minutes."

Before I can respond, I'm being dragged out of the cart and to the exit of the train. Cato is nowhere to be found, but I have no clue where he could be since he wasn't in our bedroom or bathroom. I guess I'm gonna have to suffer through District Seven without him.

I really am glad for the pre-written speeches, because I'm clueless for what to say about District Seven. The only thing I know about this place is that Johanna -or is she from 10- is from here and she loved her axe. I don't know their main form of production, let alone anything about the tributes that died from here. I wouldn't have been able to survive through my speech and questions.

I don't think I spoke more than two words to the tributes from Seven, and now I'm beginning to feel bad for not taking the time to get to know them. Now they're dead, and even though it's not my fault, there's a nagging in my head that says I'm a part of it.

I try to get through my speech as smoothly as I can, but Cato's nowhere to be found and I can't stop thinking of my test. What does it say? I'm hoping it's not positive. I have the tour, and starting in less than a year, I'm training for the Games.

What's Cato going to do during that time? Will he be training, too, or will he be on to some other project Snow assigns?

Anyway, my mind is racing. I don't want a baby, but in some way, I'm hopeful for the future. If this is true, maybe things could turn around for me and Cato. I think even though he says he doesn't want kids, a baby would surely turn him around. Cato tries to be hard as a rock, but we all know his heart is as light as a feather. He'd love any kid unconditionally, especially his own.

Maybe a kid can solidify our relationship as well. Having a huge responsibility like this can really challenge us, but if we do things right, it can bring us closer as a unit.

I finally get through my speech and sit to answer questions from the crowd. Everyone was going crazy, blowing kisses, shouting, throwing gifts up on stage. And from this district, the gifts must have cost these people a fortune. I make a silent vow to keep them all.

"If you live in the Capitol, what district will you be training?"

District 12. I'm the only living victor now, so it's all up to me.

"What have you loved the most being in District Seven?"

How enthusiastic and loving the people are.

"Do you have any plans for the future?"

No, but I'm still hopeful for whatever comes my way.

I answer all these questions blindly, trying to seem as though I don't have a care in the world.

About fifteen questions come my way, and then it's finally over and I'm being taken back to the train. As soon as I step inside, I race for the bedroom and into the bathroom to check the test.

I nearly crash through the door, but I stop dead in my tracks. Cato's perched in the end of the bed, holding my test between two fingers. It's flipped over so you can't see the result. And boy, Cato's angry, really angry.

Shoot, I shouldn't have left the test in our room, where I knew he would be. I didn't want him to find out about this, whether or not the test came out positive.

Cato looks up at me, staring down at the tiny plastic stick in his huge hands. "This is yours, right?" he asks lowly, not making eye contact.

"Yes." I really just want to know what it says.

Cato rubs the stubble on his chin. Suddenly, he's jumping up from the bed, tossing the pee stick across the room. "What the fuck are you taking one of those for?!" he yells loud enough for anyone to hear. He points to the test resting on the carpet in disgust.

I cower back in fear. I was thinking of reaching for it, but I thought against it. "I needed to test myself," I answer quietly.

"For what?! I said no kids!"

"Well you should have thought of that before having sex without protection," I answer boldly. "So why are you shouting at me? This is your fault! You know more about this than I ever can!"

The test has to be positive. He wouldn't be so angry if it wasn't, right? "Shit!" Cato yells, knowing I'm right about this being his fault-and maybe even mine-.

"Cato, what did it say?"

"I lose my damn mind around you! I can't even think straight when you look at me. I knew something was up when you asked me about babies." Cato plops onto the bed, ignoring my question. "You're so intoxicating, you know that? Like a drug. I'm fucking addicted, and even when I've gotten enough, I always want more."

"What does it say?" I repeat, wanting an answer. Why am I asking? I'll check it myself.

"It's like you look at me with those baby blue pearls, and I'm void of logic!" he continues as I'm reaching for my test. It's unscathed, thank goodness.

"I'm sorry, I guess? For having that effect on you, I mean."

"Do you even want kids? Is that something you want? I'll give you whatever you want, but I just can't do this."

"I do, but I guess I don't. You really need to calm down Cato."

"I lose control with you! I can't be so stupid again."

"Baby, it's not that serious," I mumble, gripping the test in my hand. I'm too afraid to turn it around and read it.

Cato stops his rant and smirks. "Did you just call me baby?"

I frown. I guess I did, with ought even fully realizing it. "I guess I did."

"I like it."

I shrug, taking a seat next to him. He pulls me in. "You read the results, right?" I ask.

Cato shakes his head no. "I'm fucking pissed that you have to take one all because of my hyperactive little friend, but I was actually waiting for you so that we could read it together."

My cheeks stretch into a smile. "Really?"

"Yea," he sighs. "Even though I hate this, if it's true, we can figure something out, like always, hopefully.."

I nod.

"What do you want it to say, Rose?"

I shrug again. I don't know. "If it's positive, I'll be devastated, but if it's negative, I'll be devastated."

I can't wait any longer. I have to know.

I close my eyes and turn the test over, and when I open them, my heart shrinks in my chest.

-
Hehehehe. I must be Dr. Evil for leaving y'all with so many cliffhangers, but it's what I do. I don't know if I'll tell you guys the results in the next chapter or the one after that. I know exactly what I'm gonna do, though, so yas.

What do you guys think? Did her heart shrink because it's positive or negative?

As always, I love you more than breathing.

Vote, comment, share, follow and thank you so much for reading!

Cheers. Laters, baby. 👶 (haha, see what I did there? It's a baby)

Myesha xx