No Excuses 3 - Nice and Simple

Right, we'll see if we can't calm things down a little. Shouldn't be too hard, considering the content of the previous chapter.

Raven awoke early, as usual. Glancing at her clock she saw it was very nearly 6am. What was unusual was her unwillingness to rise. After the disaster that was yesterday, she almost screamed 'ten more minutes!' to the universe. Then she sighed, got up, got dressed and moved to the common room. Yesterday had been most unusual and not only because of the unforeseen and not-quite-spoken declaration of love from her green colleague, Beast Boy. She bore ultimate responsibility, of course: if she hadn't given in to her petulant need to get back at Beast Boy for his minor misdeeds, it would have all remained under wraps. Which is where she preferred things, frankly. More pressing, to her mind, was her uncharacteristic panic later on, pacing around Starfire's bedroom. She had never dealt with this precise set of circumstances before so, she supposed, she couldn't have known how she might react... but still. Perhaps her guilt had allowed Timid too much influence over her... or perhaps, since reluctantly admitting her fear during the Wicked Scary debacle, she had allowed Timid too much freedom. Either way, Timid was likely at the root of the problem. She resolved to meet and speak with her emotion as soon as she had had her morning tea. As she stepped into the common room, she was unsurprised to see Robin already there, newspaper and coffee on the table before him. He acknowledged her with a polite nod.

"Raven," he greeted simply. She returned his nod as she walked past him to the kitchen.

"Robin." She set the kettle to boil, pulling her cup, loose tea, tea strainer and spoon from the cupboards and drawers. The scooped a spoonful of the leaves into the strainer and clipped it shut, lowering it into the empty cup. When the kettle boiled, she poured the water over the strainer, watching the leaves swirl inside as the water turned a rich, dark brown. After she was satisfied, she removed the strainer and emptied the leaves into the garbage, levitating her strainer to the sink. She held the cup up to her nose and inhaled, the scent of the beverage seeping into her and loosening what tension she had. She blew on the liquid and took a careful sip. She swallowed and sighed in satisfaction, her tiny smile appearing for a moment. This was a simple pleasure. She liked simplicity. Holding her cup in both hands, she sat at the table with Robin. Looking up from his paper, Robin finally asked what she had known he would.

"So... how did he take it?" Robin asked. Hm... she had expected that question but only after he had asked about her and Beast Boy's conversation. Detectives were annoying... but impressive. But she wouldn't let him know that, so decided to play dumb for now.

"Take what?" Raven asked. Robin smirked at her neutral expression. Even he couldn't read her sometimes.

"How did Beast Boy take your rejection?" he confirmed. Raven raised an eyebrow at him.

"How did you know that? Eavesdropping?" she said. She knew he hadn't but felt like taunting him a little more.

"No!" Robin said, a little flustered. He did not want Raven to think he intruded on her privacy. "But if you hadn't, I'm pretty sure I would have heard Beast Boy singing and skipping down the corridor." he finished, with a smile. At the mental image, Raven smirked... then the memory of his tearful face wiped it away... Robin still waited.

"Better than you might think. Better than I would have thought. He said he already knew it was hopeless... but I think having it actually said to him still hurt him." Robin nodded seriously at Raven's words.

"May I ask what was said?" Robin asked. He was genuinely concerned about his friends and the team dynamic but didn't seem to really understand how invasive the question was. Raven finished her tea and levitated her cup to the sink with her other dishes.

"You can ask," Raven said, standing as she did. "But I won't tell you. Excuse me..." With that, she turned and walked to her room. Once inside, she sealed the door and retrieved her meditation mirror: her most prized possession. She focused on the reflective surface and felt herself fall into her mindscape. Soon enough, she stood in the impossible realm she named Nevermore and made her way to Timid's maze. When she found the grey emotion, she was surprised to see she was not alone but being consoled by two others, Happy and Affection. Timid was sniffling, her eyes red from crying. When she saw Raven approaching, she burst into tears all over again, eliciting frustrated sighs from the others. She allowed Happy and Affection to try and calm Timid down again, at least until the point where the emotion could speak intelligibly.

"R-Raven! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you so scared! I'm sorry I made you act like that in front of Starfire. I'm sorry I made you think of killing everyone in the world. I'm sorry tha-" Raven interrupted her before she could continue her litany of apologies.

"It's in the past, Timid. I only came to find out what happened." Timid wiped her eyes and looked at Raven in relief... well, less fear, anyway.

"Well... I was here talking with Happy and Affection and-"

"You were both here as well? Why?" Raven asked.

"What do you think?" Happy giggled. "You just watched us doing it again." Raven nodded. Of course, her more positive emotions attempted to soothe her more negative ones. She wondered what that meant about her...

"Right. Carry on, Timid," Raven said.

"Um... okay. Well, we were talking. Or, well... they were talking and I was crying. Or apologising. Anyway, I was apologising for crying so much when they both just started... screaming!" Raven looked concerned now.

"Screaming?" she asked. Timid nodded.

"Yeah... but not like they were scared. More like... surprised. And their eyes were glowing." Raven now looked at the other two emotions. Happy just giggled but Affection had the decency to appear a little embarrassed.

"Explain," Raven commanded simply. She liked simplicity. Happy was now giggling uncontrollably, holding her stomach, so Affection spoke.

"Well... Beast Boy kissed you, Raven!" Raven blushed a little but maintained her slight scowl.

"I know that. Why should that matter so much to you, though? We...I don't like him that way." Raven countered.

"Well yes, that's true..." Affection replied. "But... how can I explain this? We know we are considered attractive to some, yes? Some of the creepier fan mail we get can get very... detailed." Raven grimaced. Yes. Detailed. "But we know they would run screaming if they learned what we are. Then there's that goth boy... he isn't really interested in us. He isn't really interested in anything. His apathy is just that. We, your emotions, are merely suppressed and controlled. And I don't like him." Affection frowned and stuck her tongue out. Raven sighed.

"I still don't see-" Raven began, but was interrupted by Affection.

"I'm getting to it, Raven! Anyway... now we have Garfield. And he knows all about us. He knows what we are. He knows what we're like as a person which is not especially friendly. He knows about our past. He saw our father. He's taken the brunt of our temper more than once. He-" Now Raven interrupted Affection.

"Alright! I get it, Beast Boy knows we're a bitchy pain in the ass. And?" Raven asked. Affection shook her head at Raven, like she was missing something incredibly obvious.

"And? And he loves us, Raven. He loves you. He knows us as well as anyone ever has... and he loves us anyway. Even if we don't reciprocate, isn't it just...nice?" Raven stared at her emotion, her expression less confrontational than before. She hadn't really thought about how she should feel about it beyond her gentle rejection. It did feel nice. As she pondered, Happy finally calmed down enough to speak, though she blushed heavily and held her hands to her cheeks.

"And we got our first kiss! I thought it would never happen!" she squealed, causing Affection to smile and blush along with her.

"I don't think it really counts," Raven said. "He wasn't in control and I was barely cognitive." Happy nodded glumly at the analysis.

"You're right, Rae-Rae, the kiss in the common room probably doesn't count... so it's a good thing you planted a big smooch on him in your room!" Happy said, bursting in to fresh laughter. Raven fumed.

"Big smooch? It was just a little peck!" Raven hissed. Affection looked at her, seeming unusually upset.

"Raven... you know what it meant to Garfield. You felt it. That kiss, however brief, wasn't 'just' anything! I am part of you, so I know you never expected to get a first kiss. So just for a second, be glad you did. With someone you know and trust who will never take it for granted. Just for a second, Raven... be human." Raven glared at her emotion... she was right. She replayed the moment in her mind, the astonishment she felt from Beast Boy, followed by blinding happiness tinged with a little sadness. She allowed herself to remember the sensation of his lips against hers. As first kisses went, she supposed it was pretty good and, she realised, she was grateful for it, despite the strange circumstances. Affection grinned as Ravens mouth curled into a small smile...

"Aaaaaaaaaaand..." Happy piped up. "It probably doesn't hurt that he's such a little cutie!" Raven smirked at her.

"Happy... if I don't like him that way, then you don't either," she said, matter-of-factly.

"Well sure... but I just love his eyes! They're so...so... green! Y'know?" Raven shook her head at Happy, a little glad there was a part of her that liked such simple details about her friends. She liked simplicity. She bid her emotions farewell and pictured herself in her room. The image informed reality and she found herself sat on her bed, clutching her mirror. She put it away and decided to return to the common room. Within Nevermore, Happy looked confused for a second.

"Hey, Affection?" she asked. The other emotion turned to face her. "Why do you always call Beast Boy 'Garfield'?" Affection shrugged, smiling mysteriously before vanishing back to her own realm. "Wha- Hey! Don't leave me here on my own with Moaning Myrtle!" The grey emotion started to cry again. "Ah! Sorry, Timid. I'm sorry..."

Raven idly wondered if Beast Boy was awake yet... and how he might react to her. She might not express it particularly well but she... valued him, hoping fervently that their friendship would survive. She entered and saw all of her comrades in the room, Starfire and Robin in the kitchen, Beast Boy and Cyborg sat in front of the TV, playing one of those infernal video games. She moved to her usual spot and picked up one of several books she had left in the common room. Beast Boy finally noticed she was there... the text of the book blurred slightly as an intense wave of emotion crashed over her. She did her best to compose herself and glanced up at the source: Beast Boy. He was looking at her with a small smile on his face, waving in greeting. She hadn't felt anything like this last night - she supposed Timid's over-excitement might have overwhelmed and temporarily dampened her empathic senses. She nodded back with a tiny smile and he returned to his game. It almost felt like she was swimming through his aura, it was so all-encompassing. He felt that? For her?! How did he ever keep that quiet for so long? She knew she would have to talk to him about it at some point, find out how he had hidden it. He might have to do it again for her sake. She let it go for now, though... it didn't seem appropriate after his embarrassment to ask him, in front of their friends, if he could please stop loving her quite so much. No, this was a private matter. Besides, Affection had been right: sitting with her book with Beast Boy's feelings wrapped around her like a warm blanket... it felt nice.

Well, there's the next bit. I've been meaning for a while now to try and write Raven's character more in line with the show and this is my attempt. Coincidentally, I had a reviewer make the same suggestion as I was starting to write this! Crazy... Anyhoo, enjoy and review!

-Jack