A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long guys. I was dragging my heels on it a bit and it didn't even end up covering all I wanted it to, but it's already longer than my other ones. As the story gets more serious, I have a feeling that the chapters might start getting longer. I also got a job, so that is causing me to have sliiiightly less time, but not too much less. But anyway, hope you guys like this one. Thanks again for being awesome. You guys are the best!

Also, sure, Karol. I'll marry ya. I'm single ;) :P

When I fling open the door to Simon's room, he nearly falls out of his chair in surprise. He's playing a PC game with his massive noise-cancelling Skullcandy headphones on so he hadn't even heard me come in the house, though I was by no means being quiet. In my upset state, I'd made a point to bang the doors open and slam them shut behind me.

"Jesus!" He cries in alarm, tearing his headphones off of his ears. I smile through my tears and can't help myself.

"No, it's just me. Is the resemblance also startling?" A ghost of a smile flashes across his face, but is quickly replaced by a frown of concern as he notices my red eyes and nose. I feel like Niagara Falls, but it's Simon, and he's seen me looking worse.

"Clary! What's wrong?!" He makes to rush toward me, but notices the computer screen out of the corner of his eye and falters. He'd forgotten to pause his game. He turns back to his keyboard, hunching over.

"Crap, I'm getting slaughtered!"

"Simon!"

"Sorry, just let me save real quick."

"Ugh." I stomp to his unmade bed and throw myself on top of it. I'm giving him a hard time because I'm upset, but I'm the same way when he lets me play.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry! Crucial point in the game. I'm right at the Gates of –"

"Simon." I glare at him, indignantly indicating how much I couldn't care less.

"Right. Right. Sorry." He plops down on the bed next to me and stretches his arm around my shoulders. I snuggle up against him, resting my head on his gray Iron Man hoodie and burst into tears again.

"Shhh. It's ok." He shushes me and rubs my back like a parent comforting a child who's skinned their knee. I just bury my face deeper into the worn-out cotton sweatshirt and sob harder. He pulls me into him and just lets me cry for a while. We've been best friends since we were little, so he's quite familiar with how to treat a crying girl.

I'm sure he's a great boyfriend. The thought makes me mildly jealous of the girls he's dated for a moment, which I dismiss as completely ridiculous. It's not like that between us at all. I guess it just made me think of Jace and how completely not relationship material he is. I bet he'd be a terrible boyfriend in every way, shape, and form. Except maybe in the bedroom… Man… that kiss… I start to burn from the memory and quickly stuff it back down inside.

As I start to calm down, Simon tentatively asks what's wrong and what happened. When I say nothing, he presses further, inquiring if it has anything to do with Jace. I redden and suddenly feel incredibly embarrassed.

"How did you know?" I feel like it's probably pretty obvious, but I ask anyway.

"You only get this upset over boys you like." I roll my eyes and groan quietly, my discomfiture doubling. Boy trouble just makes me sound so lame.

We typically avoid the subject of relationships, but I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this stuff. Plus, up until now, things had never gotten serious enough for me to get hurt by a guy this bad.

"He's just so mean. He can be so wonderful and then so awful. I can't stand it."

"What did he do now? Forget to say 'thank you' when you passed him the peas?" Simon's voice has a hint of irritation in it now. He's never liked Jace, and doesn't understand what girls see in him. That doesn't make any sense to me, personally. I feel like anyone with eyeballs would be under the golden Shadowhunter's spell, but I guess not. I mean, it's not like I asked to feel this way. In fact I tried pretty damn hard not to, but what can you do? The heart (or body in this case since I'm still not entirely sure anything else is involved right now) wants what it wants.

"He… kissed me…" I wince through my sniffles, expecting Simon to explode. He just sucks in his breath. My surprise at his reaction causes me to temporarily forget about my runny nose. Simon's not looking at me. He looks about as stiff as Church does when he's in a peevish mood.

"I see…" is all he says, continuing to stare at his screensaver. It's the old school maze one. A fun throwback to childhood, like most of Simon's room with his comic collection, collectible figurines, fantasy novels, and posters of his favorite bands and scifi movies & TV shows.

"And… did you kiss him back?" I turn my eyes to watch the maze now, too.

"Yes," I reply in a small voice. "But I stopped him…"

"Well, what's the problem then if you were okay with him kissing you in the first place? Sounds like you should be thrilled, not sad." He's not even trying to conceal the bitterness in his voice now. My eyes and mouth widen in disbelief.

Did he really just say that? He's never said anything like that to me before. I mean, granted, I've never kissed anyone before, but still. Why should that matter to him? What does he care if I kiss someone else? He's kissed people, so why is it anything to him if I do, too? Maybe it's just because it's Jace, but even so. He doesn't have to be such a jerk about it.

I start getting angry. This isn't how best friends are supposed to treat each other. I'm obviously upset and in need of comfort and he acts like this?

"He tried to make me go further than I was okay with," I continue, my voice raising trying to impress upon him why this was a big deal and reason to be upset, not happy. "I didn't feel ready." This gets his attention and his head slews around to face mine.

"What?!" His eyes are wide with anger. He looks more upset than I feel now. "What do you mean? What did he try to make you do? I'm gonna kill him!" He looks about ready to charge out the door, but I put my hand on his arm to stay him.

"No, wait, it's not like that. I mean, he didn't do anything bad. He was just moving faster than I was comfortable with. He didn't try to force me to do anything I didn't want to, he was just angry when I stopped him."

"Jesus, what a prick. That's still not okay. Who does he think you are? His chew toy? Something plastic for him to sink his teeth into and discard when he gets bored of you?"

"Wow, Simon. Thanks a lot. That's not harsh or anything."

"You know what I mean. He's just such an asshole to everyone, strutting around like he owns the world, like everyone should grovel at his feet. Why would you even let him kiss you, Clary? He's bad news and you should stay away from him."

"I don't think that's entirely fair, Simon. He's not all that bad. I just think he's a little aggressive and isn't used to being told no."

"Well, he should get used to it. Getting rejected more often might help chip away at that ridiculously inflated ego of his. He's like that alien from Futurama." My mind conjures the image of the alien he's talking about and I shudder for a second. It was pretty gross and yet a mildly accurate description.

"But.. you don't think it's at all possible that maybe he just got carried away? That maybe he does really like me and didn't mean to do that?"

"Guys like Jace only want one thing and it's not to bring you wildflowers and chocolates shaped like Hello Kitty. That's what guys like me do."

"You sound like my mom. How do you know what Jace wants. You don't know him at all."

"Neither do you, Clary. Besides, if he didn't want that one thing, would he have gotten so handsy like that? And then proceed to get angry about you setting boundaries? He's just a scumbag guy who thinks he can shit all over everyone else because they're not Shadowhunters like him."

My cheeks are burning along with my eyes at this point. He was being so harsh, but I knew on some level he was right. I just wasn't sure I could keep having this conversation, though. I didn't come here for this reason. I came here for comfort and self-esteem boosting. Also cuddles. But Simon keeps bringing me back to reality, when I just want to forgive Jace and tell myself what I want to hear. That he isn't using me. That he does actually like me. That he just got caught up in the moment. But the more that I talk to Simon, the worse I start to feel about it all.

He's right. He's so right. Jace is just a complete and total asshole and I'm a fool to think that he could ever actually like a girl like me. He totally just wants to add another trophy to his collection, and Simon is right – he shouldn't be allowed to get away with that kind of behaviour. I don't care how attractive or impressive he is. Just because he's a complete and total badass in basically every way doesn't give him the right to treat everyone else as lesser to him. Even if maybe they are… Oh shut up, Clary. Don't think like that. Jace is just another person. Granted he may be an amazing Shadowhunter who has way more of an important impact on the world than you or most other people alive, but still. He doesn't have to be a dick about it.

Though my sadness has mostly shifted to anger at this point, I'm still a bit miffed that my best friend didn't react how I wanted him to and take out some of my irritation on him. Unfair, I know, but hey, I'm still pretty upset right now, so sue me.

"God, Simon," I say with disdain. "Just because Jace is a dick, doesn't mean you have to be one as well. Besides, I'm a Shadowhunter, too. Or at least, will be one when I'm done with training, hopefully. But whatever. This is just making me feel worse, so I'm done talking about it. I'm sorry I disturbed you. Go back to your game. Forget I even said anything." I leap off the bed, grabbing my bag and storm out. He doesn't even try to stop me. Fine. If that's how he wants to be, I don't need him.

I'm so upset and angry now, that I think I'm a little out of my mind. I'm not thinking clearly and all I know is that I don't even want to be thinking at all. I've decided to do something reckless, something I've never done before. Here goes nothing.

"What?" Isabelle is blinking at me blankly in bewilderment. She looks as if I've barged into her room wearing a pink squid on my head and asked to borrow her banana phone.

"We're going out. To Pandemonium. And I need to borrow some clothes."

"Uh… o-okay…?" She's sitting at her vanity table, foundation brush in hand, hovering next to her cheek as frozen as the rest of her. The last, and only, time we've ever gotten dressed up and gone out together was for Magnus' party, but that was out of necessity. We've never hung out deliberately, let alone gone clubbing together. I think she's so flabbergasted by my sudden change of heart that she has no idea of what to do aside from go along with what I'm saying.

"What do you want to borrow?" The makeup brush is back on the vanity now with the rest of her scattered cosmetics, and she's walking toward her closet now. I follow her with a look of firm resolve on my face.

"The least 'Clary' outfit you have." Her face suddenly breaks into a wide grin. She looks like a kid in a candy shop. Looks like I just made a wish of hers come true.

A couple of hours later, Izzy has finished transforming me into… well, definitely not me. When I turn to look at myself in the mirror, I don't recognize the person staring back at me.

"Perfect," I think, gazing at myself. Somehow, despite being so much shorter than her, we have the same shoe size so her 6-inch shimmering gold heels fit me well. They're going to take some getting used to since I never wear anything other than flats and sneakers usually, but I'm determined to keep my clumsiness to a minimum tonight if I can.

The dress she's put me in is not something I'd ever have called a dress in my normal state of mind. It fits me like a second skin, and the material's so light and thin, I'd almost think nothing were there if it didn't have a lacey texture to it. The dress comes down to just a few inches under my butt. I've never worn anything so short in my life.

Between the bottom of the dress and the heels, my pale legs are covered in a bronzing lotion that makes them glint in the light. I still look super white, but I now have a nice glow, which makes me look healthier and less vampire-like. The little black dress has thin halter straps that tie behind my neck, a plunging neckline that makes it seem like I have more cleavage than I do, and my entire back is exposed. The dress is literally staying on simply due to the fact that it's so damn tight.

The lacey dress is covered in subtle gold sparkles which go with the heels and clutch Izzy's lent me. The black and gold theme is continued in my makeup. Izzy did semi-smokey eyes but with bronze and gold, heavy black eyeliner with slight wings at the edges, and dark glimmering burgundy lipstick. She's contoured my face so it looks more angular and I look way older. My nails match my lipstick, my hair is done up in a messy updo, and I'm wearing huge glittering gold jewellery that matches. Rings, bracelets, necklaces, earrings, arm bands, hair pins, body jewels, the whole shebang. She's even strategically placed those colourful sparkly temporary tattoo things all over my body. Damn. I look hot! Izzy was definitely the right person to come to.

As she was dolling me up, we listened to the radio and chatted idly. She could sense I was really upset and offered me a drink from her stash. She has a mini-fridge in her room with some alcohol she pre-games with before she goes out partying. I typically don't drink. As in, I've never been drunk and the last time I had a taste of alcohol, I was 13 and Simon and I had decided to see what all the fuss was about. We had snuck into his mom's cabinet and grabbed her Manischewitz she uses for holidays and took a few swigs. We were pretty disgusted by it and decided that people were crazy for drinking. Silly kids. But at this point, I was just so tired of being me, Clary Fray, or Morgenstern or whoever I was, I didn't even know at this point. I was just tired of being in my life. I just desperately wanted to escape for a night. To be someone else and live someone else's life, so I decided to take a page out of Izzy's book and try to be like her, someone totally different from me.

I was pleasantly surprised at how not like Manischewitz hard cider tasted. The more I drank, the more relaxed I felt, the more my problems seemed to fade away and the happier and more energetic I became. Sure, it felt like the lights were dimming, my head was fogging, and things were kind of blurry and surreal, but it was nice, so I kept drinking. When I was totally done up, I told Izzy to take a picture because I wanted to remember tonight. She looked at me strangely, almost like she was afraid, but complied.

She, on the other hand, was ready in the blink of an eye, or at least that's what it felt to me. She looked gorgeous as usual, complimenting my black by wearing white. Her shoes were red and her jewellery and accents were silver. She reminded me of a candy cane or just Christmas in general.

"Ok, crazy lady. Are you ready to hit the town?" She's eyeing me with a smile that's clearly saying, 'I can't believe we're doing this right now. I can't believe YOU'RE doing this right now.'

"I am not crazy." I hiccup slightly, as my body sways pleasantly from side to side like I'm on a boat. Man, that's a weird sensation. "Well, I mean, guys like crazy girls sometimes, right? Like wild and crazy? Those are like bad girls, right?"

Izzy's expression is somewhere between incredibly amused and, 'Oh, you poor, poor girl." Clearly she thinks I'm just a sheltered child. I'll show her tonight!

"Sure," is all she says as she smiles and pushes me gently toward the door. "Come on, you wild thing, you." We giggle together and set out on our journey.

Pandemonium looks different than I've ever seen it before. Usually it's got this darker gothy/industrial feel to it and the music it plays is kind of intense and fast-paced, but tonight it looks and sounds like any other modern dance club. I even recognize the music they're playing. It sounds like it's the latest pop and hip hop hits from the radio. What the dickens is going on?

"Mundie Mondays," Isabelle explains in a deafening shout. It's loud in the club, but not so loud that my eardrum doesn't flinch as she yells into it.

"Weird!" I call back, but to be honest, I'm kind of relieved. The music they're playing is far better for the kind of dancing I'm in the mood to do tonight. Dirty. Where innocent little Clary Fray has gone, I have no idea. All I know is I want to let loose in a way I've never let myself do before.

I immediately hand my purse to Izzy as I make for the dance floor. She rolls her eyes at me, but says nothing as she takes the clutch and stuffs it into her larger red handbag. She indicates that she's going to go to the bar, and I just nod at her, already moving my hips and raising my hands to the sultry melody playing.

I notice that people are watching me. This normally would have totally freaked me out, but right now, I'm loving it. I look around, scanning the crowd of peering eyes for a victim, as Jace Wayland had said. Who will be my toy? All of a sudden my eyes lock with a familiar pair of dark brown eyes, lined with thick long lashes.

"Clary?!" Simon's elbowing his way through the ogling crowd of guys that has circled me, his face in such a state of stupefaction that you'd have thought I had just grown a third arm from my navel before his eyes. "I almost didn't recognize you. What on Earth are you wearing? What happened to you? Is this Izzy's doing?"

"Shhhh Simonnnn. Dance with me!" I grab his shirt and pull him toward me. In our clumsy states, we bang into each other, but I don't care and just proceed to wrap my arms around his neck. He just stands there, continuing to gape at me like he can't believe his eyes.

"Simon!" I whine, placing his limply hanging arms around my waist. My shoulders down to my lower back are totally exposed so his fingers are touching my bare skin as they clasp together around me. I press him close to me and start swaying, rocking my hips against his to try to make him dance with me. I can feel his heart and breath act in a way that reminds me of how mine act when I'm with Jace. I'm too out of it to fully make that connection, though, and just continue with my fun.

Simon's body is tensing against mine as I turn to spin, but as I turn around, I notice three familiar forms have now appeared next to Izzy at the bar, Jace being one of them. It looks like he's been hurriedly downing some amber-colored liquid and is pounding the bar to get the bartender's attention to give him some more. He looks peevish and irritated, but Alec, Magnus and Izzy seem to not be paying him any mind while they chat over him.

Jace's body movements look restless and agitated in a way I've never seen before. He's usually so calm and collected, his self-control eerie and unnerving. But this Jace…. He looks belligerent… like he's going to start a brawl at any minute. The bartender is continuing to ignore him, and Jace whirls in his seat to stand, perhaps about to stomp down to the other end of the bar to demand another drink, perhaps just giving up on the whole thing. As he stands, our eyes connect. His face goes blank and his eyes are transfixed on Simon and me. I smirk smugly to myself thinking about how much I'm going to have fun torturing him tonight. It's payback time.

I turn up the heat with my dancing. Simon is silent as the dead and barely moving as I run my hands up and down his body, grinding up against him as I drop down low and slither back up again. I maintain eye contact with Jace tauntingly as I dance as sexily as I can with my best friend, hoping against hope that I'll make him jealous, if only just a bit. I turn back around and wrap my arms around Simon again, thrusting my hands into his thick dark hair. Simon's looking down at me with a stricken expression of distress and is still barely moving. I see him gulp thickly and just giggle to myself. Oh, silly Simon.

Next thing I know Jace is approaching me, looking like the king of the savannah, furious because one his servants has just disobeyed him. There's something that looks a little different about him. In place of his usual guarded control, there's something wild and emotional to his movements. His eyes are molten gold sparking into flames, his shoulders are hunched and shifting like a lion stalking its prey as he's pushing his way through the dancing silhouettes only briefly illuminated by strobe light flashing in the blue room. Everything looks like it's moving in slow motion, and the room's gone silent, though I can still feel the pounding of the music vibrating in the floor mixing with the pounding of my heart in my throat. Just seeing his eyes looking through me, his open black jacket swaying from side to side as he stalks over to me, his low gray v-neck tee exposing the marks on the top of his chest, makes me go crazy. His characteristic fitted black pants and menacing boots makes him look like he's going to break something. Maybe me.

Bring it. I raise my hands slowly in the air and bend my knees as I lower myself slowly, sensually down Simon's legs. I throw my hair back as I turn to face my dance partner again, but I immediately feel a hand on my shoulder. It slides down my arm, grabs my wrist and spins me around. I twirl and land squarely in Jace's strong arms. He's practically growling down at me. I feel like he's going to eat me alive. His hands have fallen to cup the back of my hips, and they pull me roughly to him. I stifle a gasp, determined to remain in control of the situation. I return his menacing stare challengingly, raising my chin slightly, jaw tight, face hard, to show him he's not intimidating me. He is, but I'm not going to let him know that. I'm going to wreck you, Jace Wayland. You're the one who is going to suffer this time.

My hands snake up his body and clasp around his neck. I start to rock my hips, swaying my body side to side, making sure I'm pressing against him. Our eyes are locked, our gazes fixed in a staring contest on crack. For once, I feel like my breath and heart aren't freaking out that much. I'm a little breathless and hot from dancing, but I feel more or less level, despite our proximity. I turn around slowly in his arms; his hands release enough to let me move, landing on the front of my hips. I slither down his body, my skirt rides up my legs as his hands slide up my sides. I let my legs straighten, staying bent over, and his hands grab my hips and slam me hard against his pelvis. I grind against him and start straightening back up, raising my arms up over my head again. I lean my back against his chest, arms resting on his shoulders as my hands tangle in his hair. His fingers are digging into my skin as he is pressing me harder and harder into him. I can feel his pants tightening under me. This time, the breath in my lungs rushes into my throat and the air burns in my neck and chest. It's a pleasantly painful sensation.

His face leans down as our heads rest against each other's and I feel his hot breath on my ear. He's swearing coarse obscenities that send tingling surges of crackling lightning shooting through my veins and arteries as if I've just injected a drug made of liquid fire into them. My head lulls back further and the sides of our foreheads slide against one another's with the sweat that's coating them. A gravelly moan rises in my throat, but the music is so loud I doubt he can hear it. Then again, maybe he can because his hands move up to my rib cage and pull me back again.

All of a sudden his teeth are on my right earlobe and my eyes slam shut, my mouth opening as my head falls further back. My arms are wrapped around his head as my back arches and one of his hands moves up my chest as the other snakes down my stomach, inching slowly further and further downward. My eyes shoot open and I suddenly break free of his hold, spinning around, grabbing his head and pulling it down to mine. Our mouths open instantly as our lips part for our tongues to crash into each other's like our bodies. He's clasped his hands under my bottom and lifted me up onto him, my legs wrapping around his waist, hands frantically grasping at handfuls of his damp mane of golden blond hair.

We're groaning into each other's mouths as we're kissing with a passion that feels so intense it might literally kill me right here and now. It's like we're on fire, burning alive; it hurts like hell, but I can't get enough of it. He's ever so slightly lifting my hips rhythmically, grinding me on him. I want to scream in my mixture of agonizing want and desperate fury. I pull his hair hard and I know it hurts him. I claw at his shoulders, sinking my nails into his flesh. I hear his loud groan of pain, but it doesn't sound like he minds it one bit.

The fury in me that's racing alongside my desire is starting to overcome it and I decide it's time to ruin him. I bite his lip hard enough to draw blood and he drops me in surprise, hand flying to his lip. The look in my eyes is raw with hate and menacing anger. My body, more than anything in the world, wants him to take me right here and now, but my mind and heart are seething at him and are ready to make him pay. I shove him hard away from me, and as he gawks down at me in confused shock, I slap him across the face with all of the force I can muster. His eyes widen even further in astonishment, and his hand moves from his lip to his cheek. I turn on my heels and leave him standing still as a statue in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by heated lovers so absorbed in each other that they don't notice a thing. Their swaying movements are juxtaposed against his astounded immobility.

Screw you, Jace Wayland. I hope that teaches you never to mess with me again. I have a satisfied smirk on my face as I saunter over to where my friends are sitting at the bar. It seems Simon had joined Izzy after Jace and I started dancing, but Alec and Magnus have disappeared. I don't really care where they've gone, though. I'm too absorbed in the adrenaline rush I'm being drowned in.

"Let's go," I rasp in a voice much lower than my normal one.

"What?" Simon and Izzy had been immersed in a deep conversation it seemed and look reluctant to end it. He's barely looking at me.

"I'm done here," I explain.

"What do you mean 'done here'?" They're both furrowing their brows at me.

"I mean, I did what I came to do."

"Oh, and what's that exactly?" Isabelle's eyes narrow at me.

"Doesn't matter. Look, let's go already, yeah?"

Izzy and Simon look at each other with puzzled and slightly miffed expressions.

"Fine," they say in unison, not with a little irritation in their voices.

"I don't suppose you have another destination in mind that you'd like to stop at next?" Isabelle's not even trying to hide the annoyance in her voice now.

"I don't really care anymore. Let's just go back to the Institute unless you wanna go somewhere else." The adrenaline is wearing off and I'm starting to feel tired and slightly sad again.

"Well, I wouldn't mind staying." Isabelle mutters. "I didn't even get to dance."

"Oh, well, never mind then. You stay. Simon and I will go." I look at Simon expectantly, but he looks reluctant to leave Izzy's side. It seems like he's kind of upset with me, too.

"Simon? Are you coming?"

"Well… I kind of want to stay, too." He's apologetically looking at Izzy's toes.

"What?!" Now, I'm the bemused and flabbergasted party. "You don't even like it here. Besides, why are you here in the first place?"

"I was looking for you. I texted you asking where you were, and Izzy responded saying you guys were here." Is he mad because of the dancing? I was just messing around. He knows that.

"Right, so you came looking for me, but now you don't want to come with me? Why did you even bother coming at all, then?" I can hear myself starting to sound kind of bitchy and decide it's better that I just leave. If Simon wants to stay and flirt with the Shadowhunter girl who will only break his heart, so be it. I'm done with flirting, hearts, and breaking. I just wanna go home and sleep now. Dealing with people can just be so exhausting sometimes.

Simon looks like he's going to say something, but I just grab my clutch from Izzy's handbag and turn to leave. A ways in front of me, I see Alec and Magnus escorting a rowdy Jace by the shoulders to the exit. I laugh inwardly, hoping he's as unhappy as he made me before.

Rot in Hell, Jace Wayland. I never want to see your face again. It's a mildly true sentiment, but I know it's not going to happen seeing as how we live in the same building for now, not to mention the whole Shadowhunter thing. Oh well, at least I can pretend like it might in the moment.

Suddenly I remember Luke's offer and my heart leaps at the thought of never having to go back to the Institute. Maybe I can just leave them all behind and get Luke to help me try to figure out how to get my mom back. He also used to be a Shadowhunter, so maybe he can help me in my Shadowhunter education, too.

I set out into the dark night, hyperaware of the fact that I'm really conspicuously dressed for walking alone in the city at night. I take off the jewelry and hairpins as I walk and put them into the clutch. Rubbing at my face to get some of the makeup off, I wait for the bus when suddenly it hits me. The glamor so mundanes can't see us. I pull my stele out of Izzy's clutch and conjure the image of the rune in my mind. With my eyes closed, I'm tracing the rune on my arm. Funny how that's almost easier than trying to mark myself while looking at this point. I open my eyes and see the Mark shine brilliantly. Wow, I think. It looks like a pretty powerful one.

I test it out and walk down the street toward Luke's. It's not that far and if no one can see me, I feel safe enough to go on foot. I pass an alleyway and my heart rate instinctively increases. I notice a group of guys hanging out sketchily in the shadows. They look like your average thugs, but when one turns to look at me, or at least I think he's looking at me, I notice his eyes shining and two little fangs poking out over his bottom lip. I freeze for a moment, petrified. The vampire looks like he's sniffing the air. His friends start looking curiously at the street, too. It's impossible that they don't see me. The glamor only works on mundanes, but somehow, it's like they are looking through me. Their eyes seem to be searching everywhere but where I'm standing. Could it be…?

I slowly start walking again, treading as softly as possible, keeping my eyes fixed on them, but they continue to not notice me. After I've passed the next building corner and the alley is totally out of sight, I break out into a run, my heels clicking loudly. My heart is beating like a drum and my mind is racing. Is it possible that somehow the rune works against vampires, too? Wouldn't someone have mentioned that? Weird. I'll have to ask Hodge about it when I'm…

My heart sinks as I remember Jace and how he'll probably be at the Institute any time I try to go by to see Hodge. I'll have to figure out a way to avoid him. Whatever, I don't want to think about it anymore. I decide to push him out of my brain along with everything else for the rest of the evening and just focus on invisibly jogging down the street in Izzy's heels. I tell myself that it's a form of training to help make me more graceful and balanced and stuff and so far I'm doing pretty well, but before long, I start to wobble and worry about misstepping and breaking my ankle, so I slow to a walk again. Thankfully, the brief jog has helped clear my head and now I'm just counting the steps until I'm back in familiar surroundings. It's been so long since I've felt anywhere that resembles the concept of 'home' that I'm just contentedly meditating on the fact that I'll be back at Luke's soon. I resolve that I'm going to take it easy tomorrow. I feel like I deserve that at the very least.

I'm thankful that I still have the key to Luke's and that my bag of sleepover things is still in the spare room. I'm also glad he's not here right now, even if it's super late, so he doesn't see me dressed like this. I take a quick shower to wash off all of the sweat, glitter, and makeup on me. It helps me relax ever so slightly, but I still I need a cup of chamomile tea. Now in my PJs, snugly wrapped in blankets on the bed, I'm sipping tea, my spare sketchpad and pencil on my lap.

I'm looking at the blank page I have in front of me, but nothing's coming. With a sigh, I put the pad on the nightstand, resting my mug on top of it. I let my eyes close and just lie on the bed, glad to be here. Sleepiness is starting to take hold, so I decide to call it a night. I reach for my mug, but can't find it. My eyes open and I turn to look at the nightstand. The cup is gone. Completely gone. The sketchpad is there, but the cup isn't on top of it anymore.

A feeling of panic surges in me. Am I so tired that I'm starting to hallucinate? I grab the sketchbook frantically as though thinking it would somehow give me a clue as to what happened. What I see shocks me so much that I drop the pad on my lap and just gawk down at it. My mug is in the page, staring up at me as though I'd painted it from a top view. What the hell is happening now?

A/N: Since when did songfics become illegal on this site?! Supahh lame. FF has started implementing ridiculously stringent rules lately it seems, so I'm starting to move over to An Archive of Our Own, and also look into other sites. If you know of any good ones, please let me know! I hate to not be able to post all my stuff here since I've been on FF since like 2003 or something, but hey, an artist's gotta do what an artist's gotta do.

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