8 Condolences

Vera exited Coriolanus's bedroom, shutting the door with the gentlest of touches. Through the crowded room of police and paramedics, she spotted the young senator in front of his deceased wife's roses. She joined him at the shelving and rested a hand on his shoulder.

Snow looked at his secretary and tried to smile. "Is she napping?"

"Yes. Livia is sound asleep." Vera surveyed the room. "I'm certain the police and paramedics will be gone before she wakes."

"Good." Coriolanus touched one of the petals of a prominent white rose.

"Senator Snow?" The voice, vaguely familiar, came from across the room.

The young senator turned around to find Ashur, the presidential aide, standing in the open apartment doorway. Coriolanus waved him over. "Mr. Magnus, come in."

Ashur approached the pair. "The president has been informed about your tragedy. He and I want to share our condolences."

"Thank you."

Seeing the distress in Vera's face, Ashur placed an arm around her shoulder. "Do they know what happened?"

Coriolanus turned towards the roses. "I think she accidently overdosed on her medication. She was...addicted to her pills. The police said that they would check her blood levels to see if it was an accident or intentional overdose. The head detective has already confirmed with her doctor that Cynthia was dependent on the medicine and that he had been trying to cut her dosages. The detective thinks the tests will show this to be an accident."

Vera dabbed her eyes with a tissue. "Poor Livia."

Ashur exhaled. "Perhaps being so young is a blessing...in a twisted sort of way." He studied the young Senator. "Do you have arrangements for your daughter?"

Gripping one of the water spray bottles, Coriolanus began wetting the roses. "Cynthia's family is on their way here. They live on the other side of the Capitol. Um…her sister will help me watch Livia for a few days. That will give me time to find daycare."

Stepping around Vera in an attempt to study Snow's expression, Ashur glimpsed at Vera as he spoke. "As a Senator, you are entitled to in home child care. As a single parent, your benefits will allow you to have a full time nanny."

Vera inhaled. "That's right. I forgot about that. I can help you find a nanny, Senator."

Snow lifted his face and stared out the window. After a brief pause, he turned to his secretary. "Thank you, Vera. Um...can you make sure the nanny is a female? I'm not against male nannies, but I want Livia to have a female presence in her life."

"Yes of course, Senator. When and where should I set up the interviews for the candidates?

"You pick the person. I trust your judgment." Coriolanus patted his pockets, appearing confused. "Um, Vera, I want you to have a key to the apartment. There's one on the entry table that you can take."

Vera nodded. "Okay. I'll call the agency now. Excuse me, gentlemen."

"Thank you, Vera." Snow set down the water spray bottle as he continued to inspect the roses.

Ashur clasped his hands behind his back to stop himself from fidgeting. "If there is anything the president's office or I can do to help, let me know."

"I don't know their names." Coriolanus continued staring at the plants.

"Whose names, Senator?"

With a slow wave of his hand, the young senator gestured to the flowers. "Cynthia's roses. There has to be almost a dozen different varieties here on these shelves. She used to tell me the names all the time, but I just thought of them all as pretty weeds. Do you think it would be hard to learn what species of rose they all are?"

Gnawing his lip, Ashur shrugged. "I suppose there are plenty of books about the subject. I admit that I know nothing of the matter, Senator."

"Yes, of course, books. Winter is coming, and if I remember correctly, most of these will be dormant for a couple months. It will give me time to read up on them."

After a pause, Ashur patted Coriolanus's back. "Once again, I would like to express the president's and my own condolences for your loss, Senator. Let us know if there is anything we can do for you. I'll let myself—"

"I'll be there tomorrow."

"Sir?"

"To vote for the bill, the one championed by the president."

Ashur took a step back. "Don't rush returning to work, Senator. You can vote by proxy. It's not that important."

Yes it is; it will be a close vote, Coriolanus thought. "It's important for the bill's supporters to be present. I'll be there, for Panem, for the president."

Ashur nodded. "I'll let the president know." With Coriolanus's focus returning to the roses, Ashur watched on, perplexed, eventually letting himself out as the despondent senator returned to spraying the flowers.

Vera returned to the young senator's side. "I called the agency, and they will be sending some candidates tomorrow. I'll come here to the apartment to interview them. I'll watch and see how Livia interacts with them."

"Thank you, Vera. Cynthia's family will be here. They can sit in on the interviews if they want, but it's your decision, not theirs. Oh, if you can, pick someone upbeat and positive, someone who's willing to let a child be a child."

"Yes, Senator. Will you be here?"

"No. I have to vote on a bill tomorrow. Panem needs me."

Wrapping an arm around Coriolanus, Vera took hold of his hand. "Do you have anyone coming, Senator? Any family?"

Coriolanus gave a soft return squeeze of his hand. "No. Livia is the last of my family."

"I'll stay and help you look after Livia until Cynthia's family arrives."

Snow nodded his appreciation.

"Sorry about Mr. Magnus showing up. I didn't call him."

"That's fine. I appreciate their concern."

"I know you don't like him."

A faint smile formed on Coriolanus's lips. "I don't like most men. To me, most men seem to be...immature. They never fully grow up and become mature like women. I hope, at least, that I have advanced a bit further than our friend Mr. Magnus."

"You do seem quite mature for your age, Senator."

"I think it's because I grew up surrounded by real men. I did not have friends my age where I grew up. I hung around my father's friends and neighbors. Most kids are influenced by their peers; I was influenced by adults. I think that gave me a different perspective, and an impatience for the Ashurs of this world. Perhaps this makes me a bit misanthropic. Perhaps I..."

Vera squeezed Coriolanus's hand. "Perhaps what, Senator?"

"Oh, nothing. My mind is just wondering." Snow lifted his face and stared out across the Capitol. "Come to think of it, there is someone whom I would like to see."

...

Julia opened the hotel door, wearing a simple dress. She reached for Snow's hand and pulled him inside. Helping him with his fall coat, she hung it in the entryway before returning to his side. When she gripped his hands to show her support, she watched his solemn face scrunch up like a child as he began to weep. She held him in her arms, free of words, and consoled the man as he cried.

After several emotional minutes, Coriolanus raised his head and inspected the tearstains left on her shoulder. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Escorting him into the main part of the hotel room, she sat with him on the end of the bed, keeping a firm grip on his hand. "How are you holding up?"

"I'll be okay."

"How about your daughter?"

Coriolanus's voice began to waver. "I told her that her mother went on a trip and that she'd be away for a while. I'll explain it to her fully someday when she's older and can comprehend." A second rush of tears silenced the man as Julia held him close.

When his emotions began to steady, Julia pick up the room phone and ordered tea with appetizers. She rejoined Snow on the end of the bed with a box of tissues. "Here."

After wiping his tears and blowing his nose, the young senator cleared his throat. "I didn't bring any money with me. I—"

"I'm here tonight as your friend. If you try to pay me, I will break your nose. Do you understand me?"

With a brief smile, Coriolanus nodded before resting his head upon Julia's shoulder. There he silently mourned until room service knocked on the door.

Snow removed himself to the bathroom to wash his face and remained until the server left. When he exited the lavatory, he found Julia sitting at a small circular side table pouring tea. He sat down and reached for a bagel. "I haven't eaten all day."

"You're still in shock."

Coriolanus began spreading cream cheese over the bagel in a slow precise manner, keeping his eyes down. He cleared his throat. "Um...just now, that those were my first tears since discovering my wife."

Listening, Julia sipped her tea with an attentive stare.

"I actually began to think that I would not cry at all."

Julia set her teacup down and folded her hands in her lap. "There is nothing unmanly in crying."

"It's not that. It's the reason why I cried." Coriolanus bit into his bagel, keeping his eyes diverted.

"Which is?"

"I feel as if I've been set free." He glimpsed at Julia. "What does this make me?"

"Human."

Coriolanus took another bite as he thought over the day's events.

Julia exhaled. "You did not force her to take those pills. She probably would have gotten her hands on them by some other means if you had not shared your prescription. This was going to happen no matter what. It was just a matter of time."

Sipping his tea, Snow's face remained unchanged.

Julia crossed her legs. "You are keeping your daughter, are you not?"

"I am. Vera is helping me find a nanny for when I'm at work. I told her to find someone naturally upbeat and positive."

Julia reached for her teacup. "The opposite of her mother?"

"Hmm…yes."

"Perhaps this was meant to be. Your daughter will now be exposed to more positive re-enforcement."

"Cynthia was still her mother." Attempting to keep his composure, Coriolanus took a couple staggered breaths. "The love between Cynthia and me may have died, but I still should have looked out for...I could have prevented..."

"You wife was doing more harm than good, to you and your daughter."

In a slow doubting movement, Snow shook his head as he stared down at the table. "I know what I've done; I know what I am now. You wouldn't understand."

The room fell into a long silence as the senator took small bites of bagel.

"But I do understand." Julia's voice had become austere.

Coriolanus's eyes drifted up. "How?"

"I've killed. Five years ago, I killed my boyfriend."

Sitting back in his chair, Snow swallowed. "Self defense?"

"If I was caught, that was what I would have said. Since I'm confessing this to you, and only to you, I will honesty say that it was more out of vengeance."

"The abusive man you mentioned before? The one from your personal life?"

"Yes." With a calm hand, Julia picked up her teacup and took a sip. "When I informed him that I wanted to end our relationship, he told me that it was not my decision. He threatened to tell everyone what I did for a living. He threatened to make my life worse than it already was. Worse yet, I couldn't go to the police."

"Why?" Snow's brow furled with curiosity.

"Because my boyfriend was a cop." Julia took another sip from her tea. "When I killed him, it was a spontaneous act of desperation. I admit that I had been planning various ways of escape weeks prior. I had been considering changing my identity, but he being a cop, made that option futile. I considered stabbing him and claiming self-defense, but he sadistically knew how not to leave bruises on my body when he would abuse me, which in turn made a defense based solely on mental scarring far too risky. I was left with only one option: poison. Thankfully for me, the world is full of poisons if one knows where to look."

Julia took a long sip of tea as she collected her thoughts. "That day, I was in bed when he entered our apartment extremely drunk, as he often would. I was expecting him to burst into the bedroom and force himself upon me when I heard a loud crash in the kitchen. I went to investigate and found him passed out on the kitchen floor, lying in a puddle of his own urine. I had been considering a lethal escape for weeks, but I had been too afraid to attempt it. I did not think that I was even capable of doing something so unfathomable. Seeing that monster laying there on the floor at the edge of alcohol poisoning, I suddenly found the courage to take back my life...by taking his.

"I first took my padded handcuffs, the ones I use to entertain my fetish clients and secured his ankles. I next secured his arms behind his back, figuring that if he woke, I could at least make a run for it in an attempt to go into hiding. Carefully, I rolled him onto his back and positioned him so that the handcuffs did not put strain on his wrists so not to leave marks. Finally, I fetched my ipecac solution."

Snow raised a trembling hand. "What's ipecac?"

"A long time ago, people used this solution to induce vomiting when they accidently poisoned themselves. Parents kept it in the house in case the children swallowed something dangerous. Scientist found it ineffective in treating poisonings and stopped making it."

"Is it made today?"

"No. However, I was able to get my hands on the version of the ipecacuanha plant that grows in the southern districts. You only need to extract the toxin from the roots. To make the vomiting syrup, you take 1/14 of an alcoholic extract and add some glycerin, sugar syrup, and methylparaben. Quite simple really."

Coriolanus shrugged, science not being one of his strengths.

Julia took a deep breath. "Resting on my knees, I secured his head between my thighs and poured a tiny amount of the ipecac syrup into his mouth, less than what people would normally take. I watched him subconsciously swallow it, and within seconds, the toxin caused him to vomit, soiling me with a foul alcohol mixture of stale booze and bile. But the subsequent heaves were more reflux like, leaving his mouth full of vomit. He gagged a couple times, but then, he became still.

"I was so terrified of him waking that my legs squeezed together even tighter to keep his face up, to keep the vomit in his mouth. I sat there for a half an hour with trembling hands holding his mouth shut. Only when I began to detect the stench of his bowels through the ghastly vomit, did I begin to relax. I checked for a pulse and found…." Julia took a deep breath. "I was free."

Finding his throat drying from the tension, Coriolanus reached for his tea. "Why didn't you just poison him outright?"

"Most poisons show up on tests. I had to be creative."

Coriolanus gnawed his lip in thought. "But the ipecac syrup would not be detected since it did not remain in his stomach for long."

"Correct. And technically making the action of diluted toxin a death by asphyxiation and not a poisoning." Pausing, Julia gave a faint smile. "I next removed the handcuffs, positioned the body, and made sure that everything was in order in the kitchen. I removed my clothes and placed them in the tiny apartment washer, cleansing away any possible evidence. Next, I poured the remaining ipecac syrup down the utility sink and took a long shower. I almost cried in the shower, but I stopped myself. Somehow, I was able to save my tears for the morning when I called emergency services. After all, I still had to put on a show.

"They tested his blood alcohol level and ran some routine tests, but they never found anything suspicious. The coroner ruled it an accidental death by asphyxiation due to extreme intoxication. In retrospect, my boyfriends publicly known alcoholism gave me a great alibi to hide behind." Julia took a long sip of her tea. "So when it concerns…death, I do understand."

Inhaling deeply Coriolanus wetted his mouth with tea. "You're a brave woman. And I hope you don't mind me saying, a good friend."

Her face flush with emotion, Julia smiled. "Thank you. You're the first person I've ever told."

"Your secret is safe with me."

"As is yours with me."

With a shared glance, the pair raised their teacups in a solemn toast.

Snow finished his bagel and washed it down with his remaining tea. "Would you say that you're an expert in poisons?"

A smug grinned stretched across Julia's face as she set down her teacup. "Maybe. My interest comes from my pharmaceutical training in college. Many medicines walk a fine line between their intended purposes and poison. Coumadin is used as a blood thinner on the elderly, but it's also a rat poison used on farms. Most drugs are a poison by way of their pharmacodynamics. I've always found the toxic aspect of drugs fascinating. Why do you ask?"

After refilling Julia's and his own teacup, Snow sat back in his chair. "It seems that we share similar beliefs, and the only way to survive in politics it to look several steps ahead. Looking at the long road ahead of me, I'd say you are definitely a good friend to have."

In the following silence, the pair simply stared at one another, and smiled.