It occured to Zelos that if he was asked if the godess Martel existed, he would say yes, not because he was the Chosen or because he truly believed what the church told him, but because of...her.

There had to be some greater force out there beyond his understanding because obviously it had the good sense to create the person who was always on his mind. She was beautiful, so beautiful that he wasn't sure if she really belonged to the world that they lived in. She was just so...perfect. That force also had the good sense to make sure that she was impossible to reach.

Because he would break her heart.

...He did break her heart.

"Zelos, I'm making curry for dinner tonight. Is that okay?"

He looked up to see the person he was just thinking about. "Oh, uhm...yeah. That's fine," he answered.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just thinking about stuff, that's all."

"Alright," she said, as she started to walk away. "You can always talk to me or Lloyd if you're worried about something, okay?"

"Mm."

That was always how they were...her trying to understand him better only for him to push her away. But he had to. He had to or else he would hurt her beyond repair.

But as she walked away, all he wanted to do was run after her and hold her in his arms. he wanted to tell her how much he loved her. He did love her, didn't he?

More than anything in the world...

"Here."

"Hmm?"

She placed a plate of curry in front of him. "Your dinner."

"Oh, right. Thanks."

"You sure you're alright? You're really out of it, tonight."

"I'm fine. I've just got lots of things on my mind, you know?"

"Tell me."

Zelos stared at her, his eyebrows raised. "You really want to know?"

"I know that you're not actually thinking about your wonderful hunnies who are waiting for you in Meltokio, Zelos. What's up?"

"Can't fool you, can I?"

"No, you can't," she said. "Even though sometimes I wish you could."

Oh, but I have fooled you. I've fooled you with the facade that I must permanently wear.

"Oh, why do you say that?"

"Because sometimes you say things that I wish were true."

"Like what?"

"...Never mind."

"Like 'I love you'?" he asked nonchalantly. He took a bite of his curry as if he didn't say anything important.

"U-Uhmm..."

"You wanted to believe me when I said that a few years ago, didn't you...Shihna?"

It felt weird saying her name. He usually called her his "voluptuous hunny" or "violent demonic banshee". Why didn't he call her by her name? It was so beautiful, just like her...

Damn it.

"Were you lying to me when you told me that you did?" she asked after a moment of silence.

He considered whether he should tell her the truth or not.

"No, I wasn't," he answered, being careful not to look her in the eyes. I really wasn't...

"And now?"

Zelos' heart seemed to stop beating. Now? I love you more and more every day, and I want to stop, but I can't. I want to spend every second of my life with you, but I know all I will do is hurt you if I do.

I wish I could tell you...

I wish I could tell you why I left you.

Why I broke my heart and then broke my own ten times more...

"You still love me, don't you?" Shihna mumbled. She said it so quietly that it sounded more like she was asking herself.

"I wish that I didn't," Zelos said. "But I can't stop."

"Then why'd you leave?..." she asked, fiddling with her obi nervously. "Why did you suddenly break up with me?"

"I'll tell you when this is all over, okay? Now really isn't a good time."

"Okay..."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. I can wait."

"You should go back. The other probably think that I kidnapped you." He pointed out that they were sitting quite far away from the rest of the party.

"Mm...it's fine." She rested her head on his shoulder. "I think I'll stay here a little longer."

"O-Okay," he mumbled. Damn it, why did she have to feel so good? She was so warm, and she smelled like lavender. He could wrap his arm around her, bury his face in her hair...

But the moment was over before he could do anything. Shihna was already picking up their empty plates and heading back to the others.

"Hey," he called.

"Hmm?"

Suddenly he didn't know what to say any more. "Uh...I...uhh..."

What the hell was wrong with him? Calling out to her even though he had nothing to say...but he did have things to say. Too many. Agh, what the hell? Was he going to say anything or not? She was waiting for him to open his mouth, damn it! What happened to the Zelos that always knew what to say?

"Uhh...thanks," he mumbled. "For...waiting."

Shihna shook her head. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it. It's better for us to wait for a better time to talk about all this, right?"

"...Yeah."

"Don't worry about things too much. Everybody will think something's wrong if you're not being loud and idiotic."

He chuckled softly. "Okay."

Thank you, he told her again silently. For giving me one more chance...

SakuMeiMei Says: Holy crap, it's been a long time since I've updated. D: Well...I've been pretty busy with a bunch of things, and my mind's been all "kaboom!"

And I've had writer's block. That doesn't help things. This is about as close to decent as I can get for the time being. DX I'm just...stuck. I don't like how I write any more. (I don't think I ever really did.) So please be patient with me. I'll do my best to get over it! :3