Same copy right as before.
And I want to give a special thanks to wintersupersoldiers who has proofed this for me. :) She is great.
Anyhow, I hope you like this chapter and the wait wasn't bad. I have been working so much that it is hard to find time to write, but I will try to be better. At least the chapters are long, right?
Chapter 26:
The Restless Soul
Not knowing why she was there, Toni found herself sitting on an edge of a cliff with a bottle of fine wine in her hands. She didn't pay much attention in the why as much of the drinking it. As she had every interest in downing the bottle, she saw no need for a wine glass. There was no need to waste water on washing an unneeded glass when she could drink from the bottle itself. Plus, if she drunk from the bottle, it meant that she didn't have to share the expensive bottle of wine which was a good thing because she didn't intended to.
With her legs swinging lightly over the edge of the cliff, she leaned her head back and took a big drink. She swished the liquid in her mouth, savoring the taste before letting it go down. She stared at the sky for a few seconds before she took another drink. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes as she took in the rich favors. She could feel the alcohol start to affect her, and she loved that. To her, it felt like she was the edge of control and utter chaos, and Toni Stark loved that feeling. It still surprised her that it took so little time for alcohol to affect her despite her years of non-stop drinking and partying – you'd think she'd be immune to it by now. She was thankful she wasn't.
She didn't enjoy being wasted, though there had been times, but she enjoyed the lack of worry. She enjoyed the ability to stop thinking; she enjoyed the numbness that it brought her and she could pretend she was happy. She wanted to be happy, which the alcohol allowed her the illusion of it. At the moment, it allowed her to relax and enjoy the hot sun, and she sat there as the wind blow lightly.
"Just as I expected from you, Stark."
Toni couldn't suppressed her flinch as that cold, nasty voice cut through the roaring waves. Her heart raced as she turned to face the person who had sneaked up on her. "Bucky," she uttered, surprised to see him here.
The sergeant looked as he did at the beach, if not bloodier. Blood covered his face, but it didn't hide the murderous expression on his face as he scowled at her. "Enjoying yourself?" he asked, bitterly. The genius could only stare as he stepped toward her with a profound limp. "Enjoying your life while I bleed? While I suffer?" his voice was sharp and cut through her like sharp glass on the skin.
The wine bottle slipped from Toni's hand, shattering on the stone, as she struggled to her feet. She was tipsy, almost stumbling, but she didn't stop trying. Plus, the shock of seeing Barnes shook some sense and clarity into her. "H-how are you here?" she found herself asking him, struggling over her words.
Bucky stepped to her ever so slowly. "Sorry that I'm here? Wished I was dead?" he asked, coldly.
Toni could only stare for a few seconds as he walked to her. Her brain couldn't wrap itself around the fact that Bucky Barnes was in front of her alive, which was frustrating as there were so many things that she wanted to say. She wished she could change what happened to him. "Bucky," she said softly, reaching a hand to his bloody face. To see him like this hurt.
Before Toni could touch him, Barnes grabbed her wrist and twisted it. She yelped both in pain and shock, as she never expected him to be so mad and malevolent, even with the murderous look in his eyes. The Bucky she knew could never be like this; the Bucky she knew was loving and caring, but she supposed it was her fault. She had let him die. "Bucky," she uttered again, as she stared into his blood shot eyes.
"Barnes to you," he snapped as he squeezed her wrist.
She yelped again as she tried to yank her arm away, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't break his strong and ruthless grip on her. And to make matters worse, all her struggle did was put her on unstable ground. She could feel the edge of the cliff crumble beneath her as Bucky shoved her back. "Please, stop," she begged.
"You let me die," he snapped. Bucky sounded betrayed as he spoke and it shattered Toni's already broken heart.
Tears started to form in her eyes as she found herself balancing on the edge with the only thing keeping her from falling was Bucky's painfully tight grip. "Barnes," she said hesitantly, careful to address him by his last name unlike in her thoughts. There was a nervousness in her voice as she tried to find her footing. "What are you doing?"
He leaned her back over the cliff. "Do you want to know how it feels to fall to your death?" he asked with an eerie smile that brought chills to her spine and made her tremble.
"Barnes, I'm sorry. You don't understand how sorry I am," she said, as the tears started to flow. The fragile ground beneath her heel broke away and she found herself slipping. She tried to readjust her footing but could not with Bucky's out stretched hand. She reached her free hand forward to her other arm as she tried to create some stability.
Bucky's grip loosened a bit as he pulled her back from the edge. Toni couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief, but it was short lived as he harshly flunked her back. She screamed as both of her feet went over the cliff and she was left hanging on for dear life. Her right arm felt like it was being ripped from her shoulder, as the only thing holding her up was Bucky Barnes. She could do nothing besides trying to climb up the cliff. "Barnes, please," she begged again, as she had before. Her voice started to break as her fear started to creep through. Barnes scared her, remaining silent, as his eyes were drilling into her.
Against her better judgment, she glanced down and felt her stomach drop. Toni wasn't normally afraid of heights, but right now, she was deathly afraid. All she could see was a long drop onto sharp stones and violent ocean waves. She knew if she were to fall from this height, she would die painfully. "Please," she begged. "Please, don't do this."
Barnes scrutinized her with his eyes for a few seconds before he pulled her back up, but he did not let her go. He still held her at the end of the cliff, threating to throw her over. "I want you to fear my pain."
"I'm sorry," Toni cried, trying to get away from the edge. "I'm so sorry. Please, believe me."
He glared before saying, "Look at what you have done to me!" he snapped.
She didn't want to look at him, not after what she had done, not with his anger. She was too ashamed of herself, and his anger scared her. She didn't know what he would do. "I'm sorry," she yelled.
"I don't want your apology," he snapped as he leaned her back.
Toni's heels barely balanced on the rocky edge as she found herself struggling with Barnes' outstretched arm. She tried to stabilize herself by grabbing his forehand, but he shook her arm off and leaned her farther over the cliff. "Please let me go," she begged.
Barnes chucked before he spoke, "Do you really want me to let go?" he asked as he left her go for a spilt second.
For that split second, the genius thought that she was going to die. Everything in her mind went blank, as all she could see was her death, her body smashing into the sharp rocks below. She couldn't imagine anything worse than falling to her death, but she supposed her image of death was worse than the death itself.
Just as her heels slipped from underneath her, Barnes reached to her and pulled her up, but he kept her on the edge. "You deserve nothing but to fall," Barnes said, as his grip was bone crashing tight.
"I know I do," she said, agreeing with him. There was no doubt that she deserve to die for what she done to him. "But please, Barnes, don't do this."
"Stop your begging! I –"
"What's going on over here?" A man yelled, cutting through the deadly air.
Barnes' glared at Toni before he turned to newcomer, who was staring at them both with an intense look. Barnes didn't say anything to the Captain as he turned back to Toni. He only shoved her back again, sending her heels over the cliff.
Toni screamed as she tried to dig her feet into the side of the cliff, looking for a foothold. She jagged some rocks free as she kicked, but her legs grow tired almost immediately. She stared at Steve, pleading for some help. "Steve," she cried.
Rogers appeared to have just come back from an assignment, as he was a mess. His uniform was torn and covered in what appeared to be dirt. His hair was a mop on his head, sticking out in every direction, and dried up mud was plastered to his face. His hands were scrapped up and bloody. Toni didn't know what happened to him, but she couldn't look away. "What are you doing, Bucky?" he asked.
"What does it look like?" Barnes replied, bitterly.
Toni tried again to gain her footing but the stone crumbled. "Steve," she yelled, knowing that she wouldn't last much longer. "Please, make him stop," she begged. She could feel her energy drain as she stared at him, pleading.
Steve stepped toward them, making Toni's heart skip. "No," the super soldier responded, strongly.
"What?" she uttered as her heart dropped.
"Bucky's right. You deserve to die," he replied as he looked toward his best friend. "I'm surprised he hasn't dropped you yet. I know I would." His voice was cold and nasty, and it surprised Toni.
"Steve," she uttered, not believing he had said that. How could he say that? The Steve she knew would never say that as life was important to him. Yes, he killed before, but he didn't enjoy it and avoided it if possible. To him, life was important, something that should be protected at all cost, so for him to say that broke her heart.
"Don't say my name," the Captain snapped. "You didn't save me from going down, so why should I care about you?"
Pain shot through her arm, feeling it separate from her shoulder due to her weight. "I couldn't," she cried. "I couldn't change the past without changing the future. Without you, the future would be different. It could be deadly." She had no idea how the battle of New York would've turned out if Steve hadn't been there.
"Maybe, I don't want your future," Steve yelled. "Maybe, I want to stay here with Peggy, but you stole that from me because you're heartless, Toni Stark."
Toni's heart stopped as she met his ice cold stare. "Steve," she called.
Rogers turned from them and step away. "Just drop her already, Bucky, and lets go," he said.
"Steve," she called, struggling. The super soldier didn't stop and kept walking no matter how defeated Toni sounded. "I'm sorry. I had no choice." Tears were streaming down her face.
Bucky laughed, bringing her attention back to him. "You're pathetic. YOU had a choice, but instead, you did nothing."
"I couldn't."
"I'm tired of you," he snapped, as he shoved her back and let go.
For a second as she fell, Toni could only stare at Barnes in disbelief. Even in his anger, she couldn't believe that he had thrown her to her death. She screamed for help, though she knew that no one would save her. As the distance grew between them, her heart seemed to stop, as she found it difficult to breath. She was going to die and that there was nothing she could do.
Her panic grew, taking over, but the sounds of the waves clashing against the stones and the air rushing snapped her back. However, it did no good as she could feel the mist of the ocean on her arms, and she was deafened by the waves. She could hear nothing but her own racing heartbeat. Trying to slow her heart, she made the mistake of looking down at the water, and images of her broken bloody body filled her mind.
She imagined the stones impaling and shattering her bones on impact. She could see her body twisted in an unnatural positions as her blood painted the stones before getting washed away by the salt water. The genius couldn't begin to calculate how painful it would be before her heart stopped and she died, but just before she hit the stones, everything went black.
Covered in sweet, Toni awoke with a startle, bolting up in a wobbly cot, which shook beneath her weight. Her body trembled as if she was freezing, but she was burning up. An unnatural heat rushed through her, and she felt like she was on fire with flames licking her skin. With this heat, Toni thought she was going to die, and trying to cool down, she thrust the heavy blanket off as quickly as she could. However, she was still overheating even with the cold, bitter air.
Her hand went to her chest covering her heart, which she could vaguely feel through her reactor, beating at a million miles a second. She tried to catch her breath and slow her heart by slowly counting as calmly as she could, but she couldn't get Barnes' angry face out of her head. His image crumbled Toni, as she bent over trying to catch her breath, but it was at the edge of her grasp and she was left heaving.
Ever since the first nightmare, she hadn't been able to forget his face, and every time she tried to sleep, he was there with those piercingly cold eyes, which frightened and overwhelmed her with guilt. She couldn't rest with her remorseful conscience, only getting a few hours a sleep a night. She had lost count how many nightmares that she had since Bucky had died, but it was the third since Rogers went down. However, it was the first time that she dreamed of Rogers, and it knocked the air from her lungs. Even if Rogers and she fought all of the time, she couldn't deal with him hating her, but it was her fault. Once she got back to her time, she didn't know how or if she could face him.
After a few short breaths, Toni kicked her feet over the cot, as she had to find a way to distract herself. When nightmares plagued her, there was only one place, or rather one thing, that could relax her and that was the lab. Creating and learning new things was one of few things that could distract her from the pain that she was feeling. It kept her sane, though Pepper and Rhodey wouldn't agree. She had gone days with little to no sleep, making herself sick, but it hadn't and wouldn't stop her from doing it.
As she slipped her feet into her boots, her eyes glanced to the empty side of the room. After the first time that Toni had woken Peggy with her nightmares, she asked for a separate room. She said it was so she didn't disturb the Agent, but the real reason why because she didn't want Peggy to see her like this. She didn't want anyone to see her like this.
With a deep breath, she suppressed her shiver and got to her feet. Her eyes glanced toward a light military jacket for a second but decided against it. She was still overheating, and it didn't matter how cold it was in the halls of the London base. It seemed like she was burning in hell for her sins.
*O*O*
Toni took a deep breath as she stared at her device, which she hadn't tested yet as she hadn't been able to find a safe place. She didn't want to test it around people as there was no telling what would happen; however, there was another reason why she hadn't. She was afraid to, not sure of what it would do and what would happen. She had it hooked up to a core, but there was no way of controlling the core. Once she turned it on, it had a mind of its own, which she learned from the last time she had activated it.
She took a deep breath as she laid her head down on the table. She was exhausted, and just looking at that device made her head spin. She couldn't think or function when she was this tired, but she couldn't find peace in her dreams. Though nightmares were common for her, they had never been this bad, and she didn't know what to do. If she asked Phillips for sleeping pills, she would have to tell him about the nightmares, which she didn't want to talk about with anybody, much less him.
The metal table felt cold to her face, and she just wanted to stay here to rest, but the thought of sleeping scared her. She knew it was just a dream, but she couldn't take hatred-filled Bucky's face. Though she had to allow the timeline to stay intact, she doubted her decision not to tell Barnes and Rogers. How much would have changed if she told them?
With a sigh, Toni took a deep breath as she picked up her head and rested it on her hands. She stared at the wall, trying to will herself to think of something else – something positive, or as positive as it got when the world was at war and Toni being suffocated with guilt over what she could have, should have done. Staring, her eyes had started to drift, but she was startled back awake as she heard someone behind her. She flinched stiffly, when she felt a hand on her shoulder, almost falling out of her chair. "Shit," she curse, trying to regain her balance.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," Howard Stark stated as Toni settled in her chair.
She was too tired to be angry with him, but she felt a bit annoyed. "What are you doing here?" she asked, feeling frustrated with herself.
"A theory."
Her eyebrow rose as she turned to him. "So you're up in the middle of a night for a theory?" she asked.
He smiled. "Looks who calling the kettle black," he replied as he crossed to the device on the table.
"Touché," she replied, watching him eye her device. The Genius wasn't sure what was going through her father's mind as he stared at it; however, she knew what was going through her mind. The more time she spent with her father, the more she realized how alike they were, which both pissed and gladdened her. She enjoyed that there was something that she shared with her father, but it also pissed her off. She refused to be like him, though she wondered if she was fighting a losing battle. She probably was and it made her bitter, thinking back at her childhood and it was painful to think that this man – would become something dark and unrecognizable, someone who didn't care for her and someone she had been glad had died but now wasn't so sure of it.
"I think you can agree, sometimes the best ideas come in the middle of the night," he replied, picking up the device. The Core fizzed in his arms but didn't activate in his hands. It was like the device was flexing its power.
Toni eyed the device, her only way home. It made her nervous to see him handle the device when the core was acting up and sparking. "So what's this theory of yours?" she asked, reaching for the device in Howard's hand.
Seeing her reach for the device, he set it down on the table. "About you," he stated, staring at her. "When was the last time you got some sleep?"
She could lie, but she doubted he would believe her. If she was like him, there would be no lying to him as he would see right through her. As her father didn't sleep much either, he would see all of the lies and the clues. "Well, that depends on what you count as sleep," she replied. She had no idea of when the last time she had gotten more than a few hours of sleep, as each time she closed her eyes, she was plagued with some kind of terror.
"You know you can't do this to yourself, right? You need to sleep," Howard said.
Toni let out a sigh, because there was no denying that he was right. She needed to sleep, but the nightmares woke her every time and she found herself more exhausted than before. "So tell me about this theory?" she said, resting her head back on hands. "Maybe, it will put me to sleep," she said, laughing softly.
Howard gave her a look as he crouched down to get a good look at her face. "Hey, my theories are good."
She could feel herself on the edge of sleepiness, and it was a battle to stay awake. "Theories?" she asked. "You can have more than one theory at the same time?" she teased easily; it was surprising how much had changed over the course of her prolong stay in the past.
"Ouch, and here I thought we were getting along," he said, pretending to be hurt.
Toni could lie and say he hadn't grown on her, but she couldn't. This man in front of her wasn't her father, a man she disliked; he was someone completely different. It made her wonder what happened to make him so cold, and it wasn't just the death of her mother. "So what are your theories?" she asked.
"One is that core won't work. Not strong enough for what you need it for," he replied. "I have been testing these cores, and yes, they have an impressive energy level, but it's limited. The core will only get you so far."
That had been one of Toni's fears, which was why she hadn't tried it yet. What would she do if it didn't work? "How did you come to that idea? You have no idea of what I'm trying to do," she replied.
Howard ignored her question and kept talking. "I was thinking we could use the Tesseract to give the device a jump and use the core to stabilize it through transport." His eyes were back on the device, studying it with great detail.
"Transport?" she asked, catching the word. Why would he use the word transport? Did he know what it did? But there was no way that he could know the truth, and even if there were clues, no one would believe it. "And you found the Tesseract? Where is it?" She knew the danger of the cube and what would become of it if it stayed in the SSR's hands. However, she couldn't do anything about that either.
"Yes and yes," he replied as he turned from the table to a suitcase by the door. Toni watched as he picked up the case and brought it back to the table. Her eyes drifted down to the suitcase as he opened it and took out a few blue prints. "I had a few ideas. Sure, I haven't gotten a good look at the device in a while, but I think this will work," he said as he laid the plans out in front of her.
Toni's eyes flicked from the plans to Howard. He genuinely seemed excited to be helping, and it took her by surprised; however, she shouldn't be surprised by her father anymore. He wasn't the man she knew. "You seemed pleased by this," she replied, looking back at the plans. She knew she would be pleased with herself if she came up with it.
"I am," he replied.
"But you have no idea of what it does," she replied, giving him a look.
"That goes to my second theory," he answered, leaning down against the table.
Even if her tiredness was getting worse, he had sparked her curiosity to a high. "Which is?"
Howard laughed as he straightened himself up. "If I'm wrong, you'll think I'm crazy," he said, with a smile.
Toni chuckled. "I already think you're crazy – the curse of being an inventor and all that," she smiled, fighting her exhaustion. "So tell me your theory." She went back to resting her head on her hands, trying to keep herself awake.
"I can tell you in the morning. Why don't you get some sleep?" he asked, redirecting back the conversion about sleep. It was clear to anyone that Toni hadn't slept in some time. Heavy bags had formed under her eyes and she looked pale.
She closed her eyes, as she picked up her head and leaned back in the chair. There was the cold a draft in the room that assaulted her when she titled her head back. It sent shivers through her body, but she couldn't find the energy to move. However, the air was a shock to her system, keeping her awake. "Can you prescribe me some sleeping pills?" she asked, knowing full well that he couldn't.
His expression turned to worry. "Toni, how often do you have nightmares?" he asked, stepping to her. He placed a hand on her knee as he crouched down next to her. "You can tell me."
Howard's hand felt warm on her kneed, and for a second, it was the only thing she could think of. She couldn't get over how comforting it was to having this version of Howard around. He wasn't cold and distant, someone she couldn't reach. He was warm and caring, a person who she could open up to.
"Toni," Howard called again.
She shocked her head and looked at him. "Sorry," she uttered with a deep sigh.
"How often?"
Toni didn't want to admit that, especially to her father. Sure, he was warm, but that was now. In the future, he wouldn't be like that. He would be cold, and there was no doubt he would see weakness in her nightmares. "Not often," she lied, shaking off his hand and turning away. She couldn't allow herself to become attached to this version of her father.
Howard didn't move as she got to her feet and stepped away. He watched her as she stood there holding herself. He allowed the silence for a few minutes, studying her body language. "Toni," he called again. She was standing half way across the lab, playing with a wrench. "Talk to me. I know both Rogers and Barnes' deaths are hitting you hard, and it is okay to allow people in. You… you don't have to go through this alone."
The Genius from the future wanted to tell him that he was wrong on both. Rogers wasn't dead, just frozen, but that paralyzed her, and she flashed back to her dream. Had her dream been true? Did Steve hate their time? Did he not want to live in that time? Should she tell Howard…and Peggy that he was alive? That would make everyone in this time happy, and it would make Steve happy as he wouldn't have to suffer in her time and deal with her more than he had to.
"All I need is some sleep," she replied, turning back to him. He was also wrong about letting people in. If she let people in, she was opening a door to being hurt, and she was hurting enough as it was.
"That and to talk," Howard replied, getting to his feet.
What was with people wanting her to talk? Sure, talking about engines and fuel intakes was one thing, but she couldn't talk about her heart. She didn't have the heart, remember? "Why do you care?" she asked. It came out harsher than she intended, but she didn't care. She just wanted to know why he cared.
"Why can't I just care? I would like to think that we've become friends," he replied, not moving from his spot.
Toni eyed him as she set down the wrench she was holding. There was a slight red mark in her hand, left from her tight grip, and it stung when she flexed her hand. "Friends?" she asked, as she stared at it. How could anyone think she was a friend, when she allowed her 'friends' suffer?
Howard took a deep breath as he walked around the chair toward her. "Well, maybe more like family."
At the word family, Toni spun and stare. "F-family?" she asked, tripping over the word. Did he just say family? Why in the hell would he call her family?
"That goes to my second theory, you see?" he said.
Toni couldn't see it, and she had no idea of where he was getting at. There was no way that he knew that she was his daughter. "A theory that you're completely and utterly insane?" she asked.
"I think we're all crazy, Toni Sark," he said, stressing her last name as if he didn't believe it was her given name. "And I think family is the correct word for us."
As her father spoke, she felt her nerves increase and some strange energy rushing through her, keeping her awake. "How's that the correct word?" she asked. "We aren't family, unless you know something I don't." She was stalling through her panic and she hoped it wasn't visible. It wasn't possible, there was no way he could know.
Howard chuckled. "I know a lot of things like how Sark isn't your last name."
Toni's heart started to race. "I think I know my last name," she replied, trying to hide her tremor.
"Like I know mine," he replied. "And there's a lot of resources that come with being a Stark. Of course, you know that very well, Toni."
Feeling light headed, she sat down on the closest chair. Toni told herself it was because of the lack of sleep and her body couldn't keep up. It wasn't because Howard was blind siding her. "I would know that?" she uttered with as much confusion as she could. "And my name is S-"
"No, it's not," Howard said, interrupting her. "And you would."
He was awfully confident – it was like he hadn't just been saying she would think him crazy if he was wrong. Something must have given her away the moment he'd mentioned family.
"Just say it already," Toni said, preparing for the worst. There was a part of her that wondered what would happen if her father knew the truth.
"At first, I knew something was odd, especially with that thing in your chest, and after Phillips couldn't find anything on you, I decided to use my resources to try," he said, stepping to her.
Toni let out a sigh, knowing he found nothing. There was nothing for her father to find. "And what did you find?"
He left out a chuckle. "Nothing. I found nothing. It was as if you didn't exist."
"Maybe I'm just that good," she replied.
Howard shook his head. "No, there's nothing that my guys can't find, and they couldn't find anything about you." He paused, staring at her face. "After we let you go, I never lost track of you, always knowing where you were, which was never far from Barnes and Rogers."
Her eye twitched, not liking the idea that someone was watching her. "Well then your men suck," she replied. "Didn't stop me from breaking into your company."
"You had information that they didn't. You knew my layouts better than most," he said.
"I did my research," Toni said.
"That or you had firsthand knowledge of the lab," Howard answered.
"And how would I?" she asked. "You d-" She started but drifted off as she watched him.
Her father kneed in front of her again. "Are you okay?" he asked, ignoring her question. "You don't look well." He reached a hand to her, trying to check her temperature, but she slapped his arm away. "Toni."
She glared at him, fighting to stay awake. Her body felt stiff and heavy, almost alien to her. "Just go on with your theory." Her head was spinning, and she knew if she tried to stand, it wouldn't end well.
Howard let out a sighing chuckle. "You're stubborn." He rested his hand on her knee again and kept his eyes trained on her face. "If you wish," he said.
There was a lot of things that Toni wished for, and one was to be in her own bed with sleeping pills and maybe drowning them with tequila, but she knew that wasn't going to happen any time soon. "Cut to the chase," she snapped.
"…Again, your lack of a record is odd, and I went to Phillips many times, but he never gave me anything and told me I was reading too much into this," he said. "I thought you were fooling us, pulling the wool over our eyes, but as I got to know you, I knew that wasn't the case. Sure you're annoying and immature at times, but you're honest and caring."
"Caring?" she uttered back. Caring wasn't a word that she would use to describe herself. Heartless was good, because it wasn't possible for her to have a heart after what she had done.
"Yes, caring."
Toni couldn't look at him and looked away, which was a battle with her exhaustion.
Howard shifted his weight to another knee. "You know it was something you said, which got me thinking. I wouldn't have given this theory any thought if it wasn't for you, but once I opened my mind, I saw the clues. When the 107 was captured, you didn't seem all too shock. Like you knew what would happen."
She fought the urge to look back and stared blankly at the wall.
He shifted again, trying to look into her eyes. He was trying to read her facial expression and Toni wasn't going to let him. "You seemed all too comfortable and confidence, which sold it for me."
"What did I say that got you thinking?"
"That you're from the future."
Toni broke out into a laugh, trying to throw him off. "I think you're reading too much into that," she said, recalling what she had said to him. He had tossed it aside as a joke then, and Toni had thought that was the end of that. She thought that she had discredit the idea, but she did the opposite. "I'm Toni Sark from Brooklyn," she said as smoothly as she could in her exhausted-haze. Years and years of experience had made her a master liar, so she said the quickest thing she could think of, and it wasn't a complete lie. She had lived in Brooklyn with Steve and Bucky, which seemed like an eternity ago.
"No, you aren't."
"Then who am I?" she asked, giving him a look.
He chuckled again. "I didn't know how I didn't notice it before. Sure, you don't have my chin, but there's no mistaking those eyes, that noise. You're mine," he said. "My Daughter."
She turned to him, her eyes wide. "Your daughter? I'm not your daughter." She snapped. She had no idea of what to say or how to deny it. "I think Rogers' death had shot you over the edge." Toni shoved Howard's hand off her and pushed away from him. "You're wrong. I'm not from the future," she replied harshly.
"Yes, you are. You're a Stark, and I can see it. There's a fire in your eyes that no one can deny," he replied.
Toni's legs felt like jelly beneath her, and she was to stay to her feet for the time being, but she knew she wouldn't be able to stand for long. "Time travel doesn't exist."
He put on the biggest smile that Toni had even seen. "It is, and my daughter invented it. Is there nothing a Stark can do?" he said, joyfully. There was in an excitement in his voice that tired her just by listening to it. "Do you know how incredible that is, Toni?"
"You know how insane you are? You –" she started but unable to finish, feeling her legs go out beneath her; however, before she could hit the ground, two arms wrapped around her keeping her up.
"Toni," she heard him call her name.
"How…" she said, but her breath died in her throat. Everything was spinning on her.
Howard's grip tightened around her. "Toni," he yelled again. It was a distance yelling as the feeling in her body started to disappear. Everything around her followed form, and it wasn't long before her body and mind gave out on her.
*O*O*
When Toni came back, she felt druggy and couldn't find the strength to move. It took everything she had to open her eyes, which felt heavy. When she was finally able to, it took a few seconds for her vision to focus. Everything was dull shapes and colors, and she couldn't make out where she was.
She closed her eyes for a second, trying to focus. After a few deep breaths, Toni opened her eyes again and stared off blankly for a few seconds. It wasn't until her vision cleared that she looked around the room, and it was a struggle to do so. She tried to get up on her elbow, but as she tried, she felt two hands on her shoulders pushing her down.
"Toni, you need to rest."
She fought the man for a second before allowing him to push her down. "Stark," she uttered as she stared at her father, who was looking intently at her. "W-where am I?" she choked out.
After he was sure that Toni wouldn't try to get up, Howard released his grip on her. "In the infirmary," he answered, not stepping back from the bed. "Do you need something?"
Toni glanced at him before looking away. "No. W-why am I here?" she asked, noticing an IV in her arm.
"You fainted from sheer exhaustion," he replied. "Are you sure you don't need anything?"
She suppressed the groan in throat as she eyed the IV. She couldn't believe she had let herself to degrade to this point, but she also hated that she had fainted in front of Howard. What must he think of her? "I need to get out of here," she replied, turning to her father. She couldn't believe how weak she'd been – despite years of going by with little sleep since her parent's deaths, she had never passed out, so why had her body chosen to do so now, in front of Howard?
"You need to rest. You're killing yourself," Howard said.
Toni threw her head back and stared at the ceiling. "I'm fine," she said through her teeth. She didn't want to be here, and she wanted nothing more than to get back to her device. It might not work, but she wouldn't know unless she tried.
"Toni," he said sternly. "You need to worry about your health. You can't do this to yourself. You need to sleep."
She stared off, not wanting to look at him, but he had a point. She needed to take care of herself, but she couldn't take the nightmares. It would be one thing if they were scary or bloody, but she couldn't take the guilt ridden ones. "I get it, but I still don't understand why you care."
"You're my daughter. Why wouldn't I care? What happened between us to make you like this?" he asked with sincere distress in his tone.
"I'm not your daughter and I'm not from the future," Toni denied. She knew he wouldn't believe her, but she would try. She didn't want to talk about their relationship. Plus, he couldn't learn anything from the future. "Do you even know how insane you sound? I. Am not. From. The future."
Howard took a deep breath, ready to protest, but before he could speak, the door to the room opened and Phillips stepped in with a nurse behind him. "Sark, I see you're up," Phillips said, eyeing her weak and exhausted form on the bed.
Toni glanced at her father, who grimaced at the name Sark. "Yup, time for me to get out of here," she replied with a weak attempt at her usual arrogant smirk.
"You're not leaving anytime soon, Sark," Phillips said, stepping to the end of the hospital bed. "You collapsed. You need to rest."
"But, Salty," she whined.
Phillips narrowed her eyes. "It never fails does it, Stark? No matter how worn out she is, she'll always call me that," he said to Howard, annoyance in his tone – but with fondness buried deep within his tone that Howard could barely detect unless he hadn't been looking for it. Or maybe he was biased, now that he knew she was his daughter (no matter how hard she tried to deny it) and thinking that everyone should love her.
"Nope. Now stop playing and let me out," she replied, fighting her fatigue. She felt like she had been punched and crushed by the Hulk.
The Colonel let out a sigh before he turned back to Toni. "Toni, you've been running yourself into the ground, and you need to realize this. You need to understand that you aren't immortal, that you're human."
"No, what I need is to get out of here," Toni replied, trying to sit up. "I need to work on my device."
Howard reached toward her, trying to get her to settle down. "Toni."
Toni pulled away from her father and glared. "I can't rest. I need to keep busy," she replied. If she stopped, her guilt would come back in ten folds, and she couldn't handle that.
Phillips let out another sigh as he shook his head. "No, you need to rest." He stared at her, giving one of his famous looks. "You won't like this, but we're going to have to sedate you." He turned to the nurse and waved her forward.
Toni shot up almost instantly, trying to get out of the bed, but Howard wouldn't let her. He held her tight, even with her intense glare. "Let go," she screamed angrily. She had no interest in being sedated, it terrified her. The inability to wake up scared her, especially with her nightmares. She didn't know what she would do if she couldn't wake from them. "I don't want to be sedated. I can't be. Please, please don't do this," she cried desperately, on the verge of hysteria.
Phillips let out a sigh before he said, "Toni, you need to relax. This is for your own good."
The nurse moved around Phillips and stepped toward the IV bag. Toni eyed the nurse with a penetrating scowl as she fought her father. "Please, don't," she begged.
Howard observed Toni's scared expression on her face and turned to Phillips. "Colonel, her nightmares," he said.
Phillips glanced toward Toni. "Do it," he ordered.
Toni could only look on as the nurse needled in the sedate. Almost instantly, she could feel the drug, but she didn't stop fighting. She couldn't stop, not with her nightmares. Being pushed to her death by Barnes shook her to the core, and there was nothing she could do to erase the look on Barnes' face. That anger scared Toni, because people had been known to do terrifying things when they were frightened.
She looked up just before losing consciousness to see Howard step to the Colonel. Toni wasn't sure what they were speaking about, but she hoped it wasn't about her being from the future. He couldn't know that she was his daughter as that would change everything. However, she wasn't able to do anything besides drifting into a nightmare as the drugs had taken over and fear filled her heart.
The End for now.
I Hope you enjoyed this chapter. This chapter was hard for me, because I wanted to show how Toni's nightmares had been getting to her, but at the same time, I didn't want her to be weak. I am not sure if I passed that in this time.
However, until next time. :)