Hey all. DON'T HATE ME. I am sorry that it took so long. There is really no excuse, but i hope you like this chapter.
It is longer than I intended, but it has everything that I wanted in this chapter, so I hope you like it.
Granted... you might not haha.
Anyhow, tell me what you think. And thank you to Wintersupersoldiers beta this for me. :)
Chapter 31:
The Deteriorating Mask
Arriving outside of the robotic lab, Toni stood there for few minutes just staring at Bruce's back. Though she couldn't see his face, she could tell that he was exhausted by the tension in his shoulders. She could see his exhaustion in each of his steps. Had he not slept since she was gone? Had he stayed in this lab the whole time working on that device?
Wait…What? Her device? How could he have her device? It wasn't possible, but then what was it? Knowing it couldn't be the same device that forced her into the past, she knew it was a different one. Did he make a new device? How so? Yes, he was smart, but how did he figure out how to build one with incomplete blue prints? Did he really create to make a functional device? Or was this simply a failed look alike that Bruce was willing to work?
Toni didn't know what was more sad or pathetic: her guilty and grief over the unstoppable death of her father or Bruce slaving over a device that he couldn't hope to work. She couldn't decide, but it only made her want to get imbibed even more. The need to get wasted was overwhelming, and she wanted nothing more than to down a whole bottle of whiskey. No, she needed to down a whole bottle. If anyone asked, she would deny that she had a problem. She didn't drink because she liked it; she got drunk because she needed to forget. That wasn't a problem. It was a solution.
The genius let out a deep breath, wondering if she should just leave. She didn't need her armors as she had a fleet of classic cars downstairs, all ready to be driven. All itching to be driven. It would be easy to sneak down to the garage and disappear onto the streets behind a wheel of a car; however, she supposed it would be best if she didn't get behind the wheel when she was like this. Her mind was hazy, and she couldn't think, as even basic math was difficult to do. She was exhausted, ready to fall asleep at any second; there was no way that she could drive in this state. All she could think about was her guilt, and it drove her crazy. Maybe, if she could sleep, she would feel better, but she doubted that she could sleep with her night terrors. Not with dreams of Bucky.
Even though it didn't seem like it, she wanted to sleep, but the idea of it scared her, especially if she couldn't wake up. She hated it when Salty had sedated her, and it almost gave her a heart attack. She didn't know what she would do if someone tried to sedate her again. Her hands went straight to the dog tags hanging around her neck, and she squeezed. These tags had become a lifeline to her, and even if she didn't want anyone to know about them, she didn't know what she would do without them.
Toni eyed Bruce, her heart beat racing. Her mind started to pay a bad game of what ifs, and she couldn't help but wonder if Bruce would try to sedate her? He wouldn't, would he? Would he? The thought of it freaked her out, and it sent shock waves through her body. She didn't know how to handle that fear, but she refused to show it. She would not break down in the open. Taking deep breaths, the genius tried to force back her panic attack that was coming on.
I need air, Toni thought. She needed to get out, away from everything, but she knew she couldn't just leave. She had to get her reactor checked, because it might life and death if it malfunctioned. Calm down, Stark, she told herself. She couldn't help but feel something was wrong with her. Maybe, a few seconds of air could help, and it wasn't like she didn't have a few seconds. She still had to wait for her armor to return from wherever Rhodey was.
However, just as she turned from the lab to get a breather, Bruce turned around, and his eyes immediately locked onto her. She could feel his surprise as he suddenly dropped the tool in his hand, and though she couldn't hear him, she could make out her name coming off his lips. No choice now, Toni thought to herself as she stepped to the sliding glass doors. She had to speak to him now; she had to put on her mask. No one was allowed to see how broken she was.
Before Toni could walk into the room, she was pulled into Bruce's awaiting arms. Her arms were pinned against his warm chest with her head tucked under his chin. He kept a firm grasp on her as if he was afraid that she could disappear right in front of him. "Toni," he said, softly. "…Toni, how are you here?"
For a split second, she allowed herself to be engulfed in his arms, his smell, his everything. She had forgotten how comforting this man was, how much she depended on his friendship, even if she never admitted it to anyone. This man understood her in ways that no one else did, and he wasn't one to lecture her, though he did address things with her whenever something upset him. "Bruce," she replied, with a deep breath.
Bruce's grip loosened and he took a step back to get a good look at her. For a second, he studied her, taking her in. He eyed the dirty 1940's military uniform she was wearing for a second before eyeing her messy hair that stuck out in every direction. He could see the dark shadows under her eyes. He could see her exhaustion. "Toni, how did you get back!? How are you here? Are you okay?" he asked, quietly, not giving her any time to respond. "No offense but you look like shit."
Toni put on a small smile. "Geez, thanks," she said. "I feel so loved." Why was it so tough to keep up her normal facade? It was a struggle to smile, because she didn't want to smile. It was too much work to smile when she felt like crap.
Bruce's expression changed as he looked into her eyes. "Toni, what…happened? Are you okay? "
"Time travel," she replied, still struggling to keep a smile on her face as she broke free of his arms. "It's more strenuous then sex, but sex is more rewarding." As the words came out of her mouth, she felt like she was trying too hard.
"You're exhausting," he replied, rubbing his face.
Toni glanced him before crossing to one of the bio beds in the lab and popped herself onto it. She didn't have time to play this game with him. She had to get out of the tower before Rogers knew she was here, though she knew that was unlikely. "Bruce, can you to look this over? It seems to be fading," she replied, as she started to unbutton her blouse. "I don't trust myself at the moment." Her tone was betraying how tired she was.
"Toni?"
Leaving her blouse on, she unbuttoned it fully, exposing her chest. Though she didn't usually care to how much skin she showed, she felt exposed, and she just wanted to get this over with. "Do you mind?"
"No, I don't," Bruce responded as he crossed to her. "Are you okay, Toni?"
The Genius hated that he kept asking that. "Peachy," she replied. "Just check this over so I can take a hot, long shower. I so need a hot shower. I don't remember the last time that I had one." It was true. She didn't recall when the last time she had a shower.
Still eyeing her, Bruce walked to her. "Sure, Toni."
She felt somewhat relief wash over her as he agreed. She just wanted to get this over with and just go. "Thanks," she said, as she glanced down at her bare chest. Her tags sat just above the curve of her boobs with the chain pooling at her neck. She didn't think about hiding them, as she wanted this to be over with as quiet as possible. "You should consider yourself lucky, Bruce. You're getting to second base without buying me dinner."
"Toni," he said, letting out an annoyed sign. He shook his head as he got to work. Setting some tools down next to the genius on the bio bed, he stood at her bed side and glanced down at her chest. She could tell he was forcing himself to stare at the reactor and only the reactor, though she didn't understand why he was so shy. It wasn't like he was exposed like she was. "Let's take it out and take a look," Bruce said. "JARVIS, keep an eye on Toni's vitals."
The AI responded immediately. "I always do, Sir."
"Good, because this not my area of expertise," he replied, as his eyes wondered up.
Toni slowly looked up at the ceiling, thinking about JARVIS. Though the AI wasn't human, he-yes, he- had always kept a close eye on her, making sure she was well. Even now, Toni could tell JARVIS was looking out for her, even if it was just his programing. "You'll be fine," she said, not worried. It was a low risk with JARVIS' watchful eye, though Toni really wasn't worried about her death. Her death didn't scare her, as she would probably welcome it.
Bruce glanced down at her, worry clearly presented in his voice. "Are you going to tell me what happened? How you got back?" he asked. "But more importantly, are you hurt?"
She knew he wanted an answer, but she wasn't able to answer him right now as she wasn't sure what she was feeling. She also wasn't sure if he meant physically or mentally, because she was hurting emotionally, and it was centered on her father. She couldn't handle questions, especially if she had to answer questions about her father. She couldn't believe she had hated him for so long. Why was she so stupid? "Why don't we make sure I don't die first before you ask me question, Brucey?" she said, trying to put on a smile.
"The likelihood of your death, Miss, is low," JARVIS stated.
"But Death is still possible!" Toni said, shaking her fist at the bodiless voice.
"It is l-"
"JARVIS, quiet," Toni ordered, glaring.
Bruce gave Toni a hard look before he glanced down at the reactor. His eyed flashed to the tags before he reached for the reactor. "You know you'll have to explain what happened, right? I'm sure Fury won't let you off easy."
Toni knew that, and she had no doubt that they would be asking her questions that she didn't want to answer. They would probably ask about her father, and she couldn't stand to talk about him or anything else. After they learned that she let countless people die, they would either think she was a heartless murderer, who let her father die-which she was-, or they would pity her, and she didn't want that. It was the last thing she wanted.
"If I knew what happened, I would let you know, but I don't," she said, coldly. It was true that she didn't have any idea of what happened, and she still had no idea of what was going on. She had no idea of what Loki's plan was, though it was clear that he was up to no good. That man was never up to any good, and he would stab you in the back as soon as he could. Then, there was that weird life like dream she had about the S.T.R.I.K.E. team. Did it happen? Or was she just crazy? She was so exhausted that anything was possible. "Probably a few wires crossed, besides it wasn't too bad. Nothing happened, but I do wish that I would've bought some stock in some companies though."
"Toni," he said, his voice firm. Bruce was never one to buy her bullshit, but he was never one to call her on it in most cases. "I know something happened, beyond simple time travel."
"No, just upset that I didn't get to see mini me. Think of all the ways I could have influenced young me," she replied.
Giving her a look, Bruce twisted and slowly popped the reactor out of her the brunette's chest. Before even taking a real look, he could tell that some of the wires were fried; however, it wasn't enough to malfunction. "I know you," he said, his eyes still on the reactor. Not disconnecting the device yet from her chest, he examined each wire. "I know when you're lying."
Toni closed her eyes and sighed. "Why you say that?" she asked, after a few seconds. "Is it because my mouth is open? I bet it's because my mouth is open. I'm right, isn't I?!"
Letting out another sigh, Bruce held the reactor in his hands and just stared at it. "I see you're wearing dog tags."
Forcing her hand to remain her side, Toni tried to force the names on those tags out of her mind. "Well being a soldier was my cover, which had to be some kind of practical joke. Me follow orders? Yea right."
"I saw the name on them."
"Sark? Yea, my cover."
"No, Steve's name," he said, giving her a look.
At sound of Rogers' name, Toni's heart started to race, and she had to take a few deep breaths to slow it down. She knew JARVIS would detect the change in her heart beat and alert Bruce like the traitor the AI was if she did not slow it down. She didn't need that, and she especially didn't want him to know it was because he said a certain Super Soldier's name. "Just tags," Toni replied, calmly.
"But why his?"
"Not just his," she replied, thinking back to Rogers and Barnes. She couldn't help but feel guilty and self-hatred, but she had to keep up her mask.
"Who does the other tag before belongs to?" he asked, waiting a few seconds for Toni to reply, but all she did was stare up at the ceiling. "Will you tell me what happened?" Bruce get her a look before he glanced down at the reactor again. This time he had a tool in his hand as he looked it over.
"Just check the reactor, Banner. It appears that the core is intact, so you just need to change the wiring," Toni replied, trying to change the subject.
"Toni, you'll have to tell us. Director Fury won't be easy as me and will want answers. Everyone, including Steve, will want to know."
The Genius didn't care what Fury or anyone wanted, as she did not want to talk about what happened. She wanted to move forward with her life and forgot it ever happened, though she doubt she could. Her nightmares were getting worse, and she doubt she would be able to hide them for long. She knew they would try to force her into talking to talk about it when she didn't want to. "Banner," she snapped. "Just check the reactor. Damn it."
"Okay, Toni," he said, slowly.
"Just fix it," Toni replied, unable to keep her anger in check.
*O*O*
Chains were rattling as the punching bag was swing back and forth in the air. It was swinging so violently that it was almost flying off the hook, but somehow the old rangy bag stayed on the hook with each punch, though it was even more surprising that the worn bag was in one piece. The bag had seen better days, just like the rest of the bags in this room, as each had taken a rough beating.
Captain America was holding back none of his punches and was hitting each bag with all of his might. He was on the sixth bag so far in less than four hours, but he didn't care as all he could feel at the moment was anger. He was angry that there was still no word on Toni, and with each passing second, he wondered if they would ever find her. Since he went down before Toni made it back to her time, he had no idea if she got back; she could've been stuck in that time, aging while he laid frozen. She could be dead, killed by old age, while he was here waiting for her. In a poetic nightmare, he might never see her again, and he hated himself for it because it was his fault. He pushed her on that day, trying to get Toni to talk about her father. Why couldn't he just have seen that he had been pushing her away?
Sending the bag flying off the hook, he watched it soar before turning and grabbing another bag. He hanged it on the hook and continued to take his anger out. Between each punch, his mind wandered to Romanoff and the others, wondering if they had found something. If they did, would they even tell him?
Punch.
Where the hell were they? Why were they keeping him in the dark?
Punch.
What the hell was going on?
Punch.
Did they find the Device? Did they not find the stolen devices?
Punch.
Steve was going crazy in this tower, while everyone else was doing something to save Toni. It made the whole situation worse as he could do nothing. How could he say he loved her, while he was doing nothing? It made his whole body ache, thinking about how much he failed her, and it only made him angrier.
He punched the bag one last time, before it flew off the hook and across the room, landing on the other one. Unlike before, it burst open sending sand everywhere, but Steve didn't care. He had so much anger inside of him that he didn't know what to do with it. In the past, this was the only he knew how to calm himself, but it didn't seem to be helping at all. Instead, it was making it so much worse.
The Super Soldier turned to get another bag, but before he could pick up another one, the door to the gym opened. There was only one other person (besides the employees on the bottom levels) in the tower at the moment, and that was Bruce. Now, Steve didn't have any issue with him (except when Toni was her touchy self), but he had no interest in talking to him. "Not now, Bruce."
"No time for old Friends?"
Steve froze for a second before he turned around. His eyes widened at the sight of an elderly Gabe and Dum Dum in the doorway. For a second, he just stared at his former comrades, shock at their appearance. Even if he had seen them after he had awaken from the ice, it was still a sight to see. "Gabe, Dum Dum," he said, forcing a smile to his face. "When did you get here? How did you get here?" He asked as he stepped toward them.
"Geez, aren't happy to see us?" Gabe asked, as they stepped into the room. An unsteady Dugan using a cane followed behind him with an unknown young man following behind.
"Always happy, Gabe, but…now…isn't a good…time," Steve said, slowly as he unwrapped his knuckles.
Dugan stepped passed Jones. "I thought you would be happy to see us. I feel unloved."
Steve forced a smile to his face. "I'll always be glad to see an old friend," he replied, weakly. He just wished he could see Toni again. He needed to see her again. "And who is this?" he asked the young man, after giving each of the Commandos a hand shake and a hug.
The man held out his hand. "Agent Antoine Triplett. Trip for short."
The Captain shook his head. "Agent?" he asked, noticing his firm hand shake. A hand shake told a lot about a person, and this was no different. The Agent's strong grip was telling, and he wasn't nervous at all, which was unusual. Most people nowadays got star struck around him.
"Yes, my grandson works for SHIELD," Gabe replied with a smile. "You know the one."
The strong hand shake made sense now. "You have a grandson?" he asked, shocked but happy. He was glad that his former comrade had been able to settle down and start a family. Back in the day, that was what he wanted, but now he wasn't so sure, though he did want something with Toni. He wasn't sure if that counted as 'settling down.' He wasn't sure if that possible anymore.
Dugan laughed. "I think that was Toni's response as well."
"I know! Why are people surprised at me for having children?" Gabe asked, chuckling. "I was a smart, good looking fella back in the day."
"I don't know about good looking part," Dum Dum replied with a chuckle.
Steve's mind froze on Toni's name and he couldn't help but think of her. "Toni?" he muttered.
"Yep. It seems like my grandfather knows everyone. Iron Man. Captain America." Trip smiled. "So grandpa, are you going to introduce me to the Dallas Cheerleaders now?"
The Captain's brain wasn't working, still frozen. How did this young man know who Toni was? Sure, everyone knew who Toni was, but it sounded like he had met Toni in person. However, how was that possible? Toni was missing.
Dugan laughed. "I wish we knew the Dallas Cheerleaders, but sadly we don't. You can ask Toni thought. I bet she knows them," he replied with a slight blush. "I bet she knows a lot of people."
Steve's mind was breaking. How could Trip ask Toni? She wasn't here, because Steve was an idiot and pushed her away. Why did he always have to push her buttons?
Gabe added, "I bet she knows a lot of people. Maybe, she can introduce Dum Dum to someone. That way he can stop harassing Nancy. Poor Nancy."
"Why are you here?" Steve asked, finally able to get the words out. If this was any other time, he would love to have a get together with them. He would've loved to sit down and talk, but he wasn't up to talking, and he hated himself for it. These two were Howling Commandos. They were his comrades, who had risked their lives to follow him, but more importantly, they were his friends. They deserved his respect.
"Bringing Ms. Stark back," Trip replied. "She's a handful."
Just like that, it felt like his mind had exploded. "What?" he asked, unable to wrap his mind around what the agent had said. Was he saying what Steve hoped he was saying? Was Toni really back? Has she returned to him?
"Steve," Jones called, snapping the Super Soldier back to reality with a hand on the shoulder. "She's back. She's upstairs in one of the labs. Why don't you go to her?" There was a smile on his face, a knowing smile.
Steve's heart started to race as he thought of her. It was amazing what that woman could do to him, a super Soldier; she could make him melt. She could leave him speechless. Without another word, he bolted pass them and out of the gym, and without realizing he had even asked, he asked JARVIS of Toni's location. He was in auto drive at the moment, as he raced his way toward the robotic Lab.
He tried to ignore the jab in his side as he remembered who else was in the Robotic Labs. He knew it was stupid to be jealous of Bruce as Bruce wasn't interested in Toni in that way, but he couldn't help it. They were close, unlike Steve who just wanted to be closer to Toni. Maybe now, they could be close, though Steve knew it would still be a battle to get close. He just hoped she would be open to it; however, he also knew she could be closed off.
The last time he saw Toni (besides the fight in the Lab on the day she disappeared) was when he saved her from the Red Skull. His memories had cleared from that time, and he could no longer remember it without Toni. It was like she had always been there, and he didn't give it another thought of her not being there. However, the only thing he could think about was Toni being tied to a chair as Schmidt stood over her with a torture device in his hand. It was the last time he had seen her, and it killed him that he refused to talk to her when he went down. He hated to think what she thought of him.
However, he didn't have to time to think of that. He had to make sure that she was okay. It was the only thing that was important to him, because he did not know what he would do if something happened to her.
*O*O*
When Steve reached the Robotic labs, he felt his heart skip at the sight of her. From his angle, he didn't have a good view of her, but he felt himself relax just at the sight of her. He felt like he was in control of himself now that she was back. He felt like himself. He felt like he could smile, even if he was having a difficult breathing. What was it about her that made him feel like this? He had fought the Red Skull, jumped out of planes with nothing on his back besides his shield, and fought an alien race, but the sight of Toni made him breathless.
Not wasting another second, he stepped forward, signaling the doors to open automatically, and as he stepped in, Bruce stepped to the side, wiping his hands on something. When Toni swung her legs over the side of the exam table, Steve couldn't stop the blush that was forming in his cheeks. His cheeks felt warm to the touch. Her blouse was unbuttoned with her chest exposed, and it was battle to keep his eyes off her chest. She was beautiful. Breathtaking. Perfect.
It was then that their eyes met. "Shit," she cursed loudly, as her hands dropped to the bottom of the blouse. Not caring if it was buttoned correctly, she quickly buttoned it. "Shit."
Steve didn't give her a chance to move as he crossed to her quickly. He didn't give Bruce any thought as his focus was on Toni and only Toni. "Toni," he called, as he tried to pull her into his arms. He wanted to hold her and never let her go, but it seemed like she wanted none of that. He couldn't say that it didn't hurt.
"Rogers," she said.
He didn't care that he got the last name treatment from her-okay, maybe a little-, but he was glad that she was here. "It's you. It's really you," he said softly, grabbing onto her extended hand. "How's this possible?"
Toni didn't answer Rogers, as she stared at him with an unforgiving stare. It was Bruce, who spoke, "Easy, Steve. Let her collect herself. Give her some time."
Steve knew that Bruce was probably right but he didn't want to give Toni time. He needed to tell her now, before it was too late. What if something happened to her? What if she disappeared again? "I need to talk to Toni."
Bruce let out a sigh as he glanced between Toni and Steve. He gave her a look, and when she didn't respond, he turned to the door. "Alright, I'll be down the hall if you need me," he said as left, leaving the two of them alone.
Silence befell the labs after Bruce left, and neither one of them spoke for a few minutes. It wasn't until Steve shifted that Toni moved. Her glance turned cold as she pulled her arm from Steve, who release it without much of a fight. "If you don't mind, I'm going to go take a shower," she replied, turning from him.
"Toni," he said, grabbing her arm softly and pulling her back. Before she could react, Steve pulled her into him arms for a hug. "This has been killing me, not knowing if you were alright. I had been so worried about you. I couldn't think or function. Oh God, I was worried. I didn't know what I would've done if you didn't return."
"Rogers," she said, as she put her hands flat on his chest and pushed.
Unwilling to force her to remain in his arms, Steve's arms dropped to his side and allowed her to step away from himself. He hated to let her go, but he couldn't force her. It would just push her way, and he didn't want that. He had to let her think, and he could see how tired she was. He could see that something was wrong, even if she denied it. He could see that she was hurting. "Toni."
With shoulders slumped, Toni walked away from him to one of the tables in the room. Sighing, she placed her hands on the table and leaned against it. "What do you think's going on here, Rogers?" she asked, her voice soft but cold.
He stepped to her, his eyes on her tensed shoulders. "I care about you… deeply care," he said, afraid to use the word love. "I hated how we left things in both times. I shouldn't have pushed about your father in the labs, and I shouldn't have..." He drifted off when he thought about how he rejected Toni for Peggy. He hated himself for that. "You're s-"
"Rogers, stop," she yelled. Her hands were shaking, as her head fall. "What do you think's going on here?"
"Toni." Her whole body was shaking, and it was hard not to take her into his arms and hold her.
Her hands balled on the table as she exhaled slowly. "We aren't friends. Barely team members, so I don't know what you're trying to do. It seems like you're trying to make this into something that it's not. Did you get knocked on the head too hard, Rogers?" she asked as she reflected her hands. "Are you stupid?"
Steve fought the anger that was rushing though him, as he couldn't believe she was doing this. No, wait. He could believe it, as this was her pattern. She ran whenever her emotions came into play, and her insults were used to hide what she was feeling. At first, he didn't notice, but as he spent more time with her, he saw it. "Toni, just stop. Stop."
Toni turned to him with a glare on her face. "Stop what? The truth?"
He wasn't afraid of her anger, and he was willing to push her, because it was the only way to get the truth out of her. "I…" Steve started but froze, unsure if he could get the words out. "I…" He was afraid to say it, because he had no idea of how she would react. She had pushed him away in both times.
"What, Rogers? Can't get the words out?" she asked. "Did your brain not thaw out yet?"
Though Steve knew he shouldn't take her insults personally, they hurt. "Stop with the insults," he said, almost snapping. It was so hard to remain calm with her, when she did this. "Why don't you just say what's on your mind?"
Toni gave him a look. "I am, Rogers. You're just too dim to see it." Shaking her head, she turned from him toward the door. "I don't have time for this."
"What happened to us?" he asked, thinking back to all of their times that they had spent just talking in his little apartment. Sure, all they did in this time was fight, but they were close in the past. They joked and teased the other, and there were times she had tried to hook him up. He lost track to how many times she had done that. "I l-"
"Again, Rogers. What do you think is happening between us? Sure, you're a fine example of an ass, and I wouldn't mind a roll in the hay with you, but you seem like the clingy type, which is so not my type."
Damn it, he thought as Toni planted that image in his head. He couldn't help but think of it, and it brought out his desires that he had. Some may have been sexual, but he just wanted to be close to her. In the past, she had allowed him in and treated him no difference than anyone else. She had seen him at his smallest and didn't judge. She had seen him as a small weak man, who couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag, but she didn't treat him as such. She had seen him as a man no matter what he looked like.
"And you're the whiny type," she added.
Why did she have to do this? "Damn it, Toni. Stop this," he demanded.
She gave him a look, her eyes drilling into him. "No, Rogers. You stop this. Why do you think there's something between us?" she asked. "There's nothing between us. Nothing! There has never been anything between us."
Okay, that hurt more than he expected it to. How could she say that? "Toni. You know that isn't true. We-"
"That's the past, Rogers, and the past should stay in the past. Plus, if I remember correctly, it was Peggy that you followed like a lost puppy, so why don't you go bug her?" she asked, coldly. "…Oh, wait. Too old for you now? Is that it? I don't know, but I don't have time for this. I have shit to figure out, and you aren't one of them. So why don't we go back to the way it was before I time traveled. You were less annoying."
It felt like someone had snapped him, and he felt his anger rushed back. "You don't mean that."
"You know it was all an act, right? Me like you? You're pathetic. Do you know that? I gave you a bone, and you went crazy. It's sad. It really was." She was angry. "However, I will say it again. There was nothing ever between us. Nothing."
His heartbeat raced as he wondered why she was doing this. What was she doing? Was she trying to hurt him? He knew this was more than her putting up shields. This was more than a mask. She was being cold, distant, and it was worse than before. It was like she was hurting and attacking everything around her. "You can't say that."
"Oh, but I can, Rogers," she said as she turned to him. She sauntered over to him with a nasty look in her eyes. "I can't stand you! You think you're damn perfect, but I can deal with that. In fact, I can admire someone for that, but then you try to pretend that you don't think that, and it makes me sick. This whole act makes me sick. "
Steve's anger started to grow as she spoke. "Stark," he snapped, wishing that she would just stop.
A smile appeared on Stark's face at the sound of her last name on his lips; however, she didn't comment on it. Instead, she just continued on. "I don't know why no else sees it. You make it seem like I'm the bad guy, but it's you. You're the reason for everything. I don't know why everyone wants you."
He was getting really sick of her insults, and it was getting harder and harder to control his temper. With his fists balled at his side, he stared at her as he tried to calm himself. His anger had taken a hold of him that he didn't realized that he started to refer to her as Stark again. "You're the one throwing insults," he said, through his teeth. It felt like his heart was breaking.
"Oh, is the perfect Captain America hurting? Oh, Damn," she mocked. "Grow the hell up."
How the hell did they get here? Steve wasn't sure. At first, he wanted to hold her and never wanted to let go, but now, he just wanted to turn and walk away. "Me? You're the one with a chip on her shoulder." Maybe, she really didn't care about him. Maybe, it was all an act. Would Bucky get a kick out of this? He said it from the beginning that she would hurt him, but Steve never thought it would happen.
"Whatever, Rogers. Think what you want. I don't have time for this," she said, as she grabbed at something hanging from her neck.
Steve couldn't make out what she was holding on for dare life, but he wasn't focused on that. He couldn't look past his pain and anger; he was tired of her making him out to be the fool. He wasn't the fool, and he wasn't naïve. He was hopeful. What was wrong with that? "Do you care at all what you put us through?" he asked, not turning and watching her step toward the door.
Toni froze and didn't answer right away. "What I put you through? You act like I did that on purpose. Trust me, Rogers, that experience was the fucken last thing that I wanted. Not surprised that you think that, because you think me a sadist… Maybe I am, but screw you and your belief that I can never do anything right," she uttered. "Mr. Perfect. Fuck you."
Her words were dripping with emotions, but Steve still could not get a read on her. "Don't turn this on me. You did that yourself," he replied, turning to her.
The left side of her shirt hung lower than the right side, as it was not correctly button. She released whatever she held and tucked it in her shirt. "Oh, wait. I forgot that it's my fault. Always my fault," she snapped, turning back to the door.
Her words struck him hard, as her tone had changed slightly. If he hadn't spent so much time with her in the past, he would have missed it. However, he wasn't sure what that change of tone meant. "It's what you make of it, Stark."
"Think what you want, Rogers. I'm done," she said as she exited the Robotic labs.
Steve felt hollow when Stark left, and he couldn't help but feel like he had lost everything when she left. Why did everything turn out so violent between them? Why did they fight all of the time? Did she really hate him? Blame him? If not, then what else could it be? What happened to make her like this? She seemed so different than the woman he left in the past. Did something happened after he went down?
He wasn't sure, but he knew his heart couldn't take it, and he was left lost and confused. He wasn't sure what he should do next. Should he let her go? He wasn't even sure if it could go back to what it was? They crossed a line in that last fight, and there was a chance that they couldn't repair it.
*O*O*
Toni saw Bruce down the hall, staring at something in his hand, but with her rapidly beating heart, the first thing that popped into her mind was bolting without not saying a word. She couldn't deal with being around people, and that conversion with Rogers made it all worse. She couldn't stand to be here anymore, and without a second thought, Toni made her way toward the garage.
"JARVIS," Toni called when she was safely out of Bruce's ear shot.
"Yes, Miss."
"Where's the Mark 7?" she asked, wanting to get out of here as quickly as possible. No one could stop her if she had the suit.
"The Mark 7 is currently in route. Colonel Rhodes has been safety ejected from the suit."
Before her conversion with Rogers, Toni would've wanted to hear about Rhodey's reaction as she would've loved to hear his whining, but right now, she didn't care. She didn't want to hear about it, and the idea of that didn't sit well with her. "So how long will it be before the suit arrives?"
"In one hour."
Toni couldn't help but groan, because that was too long. She couldn't wait that long as there was no telling what could happen in that time. She couldn't risk talking to anyone else while she was in this state as there was no telling what could happen. There was a chance that she would say something else she would regret, and she couldn't take the rest of the Avengers hating her, though she wondered if that was too late. She wouldn't put it past them as she was truly a horrible person.
With a deep breath, she rounded the corner and stepped into the garage. Though she was very much a car woman and the sight of her babies brought a smile to her face, she saw her vehicles as nothing more than an escape. While not bothering to change or fix her blouse, she grabbed the keys to the nearest car- a two door, white Audi-, and hopped in. "JARVIS, once the Mark 7 arrives in New York, please reroute it my location."
"Shall do, Miss."
That was one thing of the few things that she really missed from this time. JARVIS was everywhere, always giving her a helping hand when he was betraying her to Bruce, and Toni had no idea of how she lasted in the past without the AI. He listened and followed her every command, and she didn't feel like shit after talking to him.
With a new smart phone in the cup holder, Toni pressed the button ignition and closed her eyes as the engine came alive. The purring of a fine toned engine was another thing that she missed, because there was something about it that called to her. However, it didn't have to be an engine as she got that same feeling whenever she worked in the lab. It was why she worked so often in the lab, and after this, she would probably end up in the lab more.
With a deep sigh, Toni opened her eyes, put her foot against the petal and took off without a second thought. She couldn't spend another second in this tower, and she didn't care if her body felt heavy. She had to get out of here, and there was only one place she could think of.
*O*O*
Having no expense spared, two large, round top slate slabs with a slight yellowing to them stuck up from the grassy field, and each had a delicate design carved into them, which looked like it had taken years to write. In a different size, dates and names were inscribed in them with a fancy scripted, and perfectly groomed assortments of brightly colored flowers were planted around the slabs.
Few feet down on a different plot of perfectly green grass, different slabs of different colors and materials rested, and each had different names etched in them. Iron fences and brushes lined the walkway around the slabs. There were a few trees here and there, providing shades for those who need it. With the silence, it was a perfect final resting place for those long gone.
"Hey, old man," Toni greeted, softly, as she traced the cold headstone. The stone was cold to the touch, almost giving her jolt when she touched it. It gave her the chills each time, though it could be weather doing that. How could he dead when she saw him not a few days ago? But it hasn't been a few days ago, she thought, yelling at herself. It had been years. It had been decades.
She took a deep breath as she turned to the other stone. "Hey, mom. Hadn't forgotten about you either," she replied soft and lovingly. Not moved from her father's final resting place, she smiled at her mother's grave. She missed her mother dearly, wishing that she could speak to her. Being wise beyond belief, Maria knew how to fix everything, and she would know what to do with Rogers. She would know how to fix this.
Toni took a deep breath, fighting back the tears, before she turned away. It was oddly quiet as it seemed like she was the only one visiting this section of the cemetery. It was strangely cold, though Toni had no idea of what the exact date it was as she hadn't bothered to look before she left. She just needed to get out, and this was the only place she could think of going. However, the silence wasn't her friend, as it was when her nastiest thoughts came out, and with everything that happened, it was so much worse. Her guilt was eating her alive.
Getting down on her knees, Toni kneeled down in front of her father's headstone. Her fingers traced the deep engraving of her father's name as she fought back the tears that were forming in her eyes. It wasn't fair. Sure growing up, she hated the man, who never seemed to care about her, but after getting to know him, she realized it wasn't the case. She didn't know what was going on in his head, but she knew he cared.
Losing tract of time, Toni just sat at his grave and stared, unable to push herself to leave. She didn't-couldn't leave him again, even if he was already gone. What's wrong with me? She thought, knowing he was already dead. There was nothing that she could do to change that, and she hated-
"I didn't think I would find you here, Miss Stark."
Not hearing someone walked up behind her, Toni almost jumped out of her skin at the interruption. "What?" Toni uttered, as she turned around slowly.
A man in a nicely tailored suit that fit him perfectly stood behind her with a suitcase in his left hand. It was clear that he had spent a pretty penny on that suit, which shouldn't be too surprising considering the cemetery that they were in. Just to buy one of these plots in this cemetery probably costed more than a year's rent in New York City and the upkeep was sometimes more than that. "My colleagues didn't think you would be here."
Toni studied him, not sure what this man was going on about, but she didn't like how open she was in her position. She may doubt this nicely dressed guy would attack, but it wasn't wise to remain on her knees where she would be unable to defend herself. Or maybe, she was wrong. Maybe, he wouldn't attack her.
"It was a bet you see. Back when my law firm was just Pearson Litt, Howard Stark came to us and asked us to deliver a package to you on this date at this place," the Lawyer stated with a smile.
Her father's name froze in her mind, and she could think of nothing else. "What? Bet?" she uttered, wondering where her words went. Her arms wrapped around herself, as she tried to keep warm. Did it get colder?
The Lawyer smiled as he took a step to her. "Yes."
Toni shook her head, as she tried to focus. "Wait, what? Take a step back," she ordered. "Explain this to me. What bet?"
"Sorry," he replied, eyeing her. "I'm Harvey Spector, name partner at Spector Ross, formally Pearson Litt. Your father, Miss Stark, was a client of ours when we were Pearson Litt."
The name was familiar to Toni, though she had no idea as to why this lawyer was here. Yes, she was aware that her father used Pearson Litt for his personal attorney rather than the Stark Industry fleet of lawyers for a great many things, but she wasn't sure why that mattered now. Her father, though it was yesterday for her, died a long time ago, when she still attended MIT. "I am aware," she said. "However, I am not sure why you're coming to me now?"
"Mr. Stark's Will-"
"I had read my father's will," she replied, coldly. It was the first thing she did, when she had learned of her father's death. It had been callous of her, but she had to learn what had happened to his company. At that age, there was a part of her that wanted nothing to do with it, but there was a different other part of her that wanted to best her father at every turn. "Everything he had was already divided out years go." Why was he bring this up now?
Mr. Spector took a step to her before he opened his suitcase. "Not everything. There was a session of the will that was omitted before you read it." He opened the suitcase just enough to put out a fat, large, yellow envelope. "In it, it gave strict instructions not to give this package to you until this very day. Until you were here at his grave."
"My father did what?" she asked, as she took a step forward to grab the package. Her mind was having a difficult time wrapping itself around what was happening. How could he do this? How did her father know what would happen? That she would be here? Did he know her that well? How was that possible?
"My former boss, Mr. Litt, didn't believe Mr. Stark when he came to him. How would he know where his teenage daughter would be in a decade or so? However, it seems like he did. Your father was an interesting man."
Toni glanced down at the envelope, which felt heavy in her hands. "Isn't the true," she said, smiling, as she tried to hide her rapidly beating heart.
"He also asked us to give this to you," the lawyer said, pulling out another yellow envelope out of his suit case.
The genius put the larger fatter one under her arm, trying to hide her chills, before she took the second. It was much thinner, and Toni thought for a second that it was empty. "What is this?" she asked, looking inside.
Spector put his suit case down as he wiggled off his suit jacket off. "This…was on your father's body the day that he died," he replied.
Toni felt her heart stopped as her whole body started to shake. "What?"
"It's…a letter, address to you," he replied as he set his suit jacket on her shoulders.
It felt like she was having a heart attack, as her mind wouldn't work and her heart was skipping a beat. She pulled the jacket around her, barely recalling Spector pulling it around her shoulder. How was this happening? How did he know what was going to happen? "What?"
Spector's glance soften as he looked at her. "I don't know how he knew it would turn out like this," he replied, as if he was reading her mind. "But I think you should read whatever is in that letter."
Toni knew she should, but her heart was beating too loudly. Everything around her was spinning and it was hard to know what she was even thinking. "Thank you," she said, unsure what else to say. She let silence fall between, not speaking. Unable to speak. Minutes had pass before anyone even moved.
Uncomfortable in the silence, the lawyer turned to leave, without making a move to his jacket, but he froze a second later. He flexed his right hand as if he was in deep thought. "Do you wish for me to call anyone? Do you need me to get someone for you? I know this can't be easy."
The only thing that Toni wanted was for the lawyer to leave. She wasn't sure what was running through her mind as everything was going a million miles an hour, but she refused to break down in front of this man. She refused to break down in front of anyone. "No, Sir." she replied, forcing herself to turn to him. She put on the fakest grin that she could possibly put on. "My father just likes to fuck with me. No doubt this is another one of those times."
Spector had a hint of uncertainly in his eyes, and it only grew with that line. "Okay, Miss Stark, but if you need anything else, here is my card?" he said, holding out his business card for her to take.
Toni eyed the card for a second as she started to shrug off his suit jacket. It had provide warmth, but she didn't need it. She wouldn't take help from anyone. "Here's your coat," she said just as she got it off one the left shoulder.
Putting the card back in his packet, he shook his head. "No, Miss Stark. You need it more than I do. I refuse to leave you out here without a coat."
Her blood started to boil as she thought about how pathetic she was. Was that all she was good for nowadays? Just someone to pity? "Listen, buddy. I don't need your jacket," she snapped.
Spector smiled weakly. "Need? For some reason, I don't think a Stark ever had a need for anything, so no, I don't think you need it, not that you would ever admit if you did. However, I'll leave you my coat, because my father taught me to be a gentleman, and this is the gentleman thing to do."
Toni did not need or want a gentleman, as it was the opposite of what she needed or wanted. "I don't-"
The lawyer put his hand up, stopping her. "If you wish to return the favor, you can bring me a cup of coffee when you return it," he said, as he turned away from her again.
"Mr. Spector." Her tone was anything but nice.
"I hope these items bring you comfort," he replied, calmly, as he turned and walked away.
Toni eyed him with an intense glare and didn't turn back to her father's grave until the lawyer disappeared out of the sight. She gave the tombstone the stink eye as she hugged the suit jacket to her body. Sure, she didn't want the jacket, but she had to admit that she needed one. "So dear oh dad, lecturing me from the grave, are you?"
She closed her eyes as she forced herself to take a deep breath. Her heart was beating far too fast to be safe. After a few deep breaths, she opened her eyes slowly and opened the smaller envelope. "Outsmarting me even from beyond," she uttered, angrily. "Can't let me win, can you? Just had to show me up?" she asked as she reached in. "That's messed up." She pulled out a letter and a picture. Each looked like they had seen better days.
Fighting back her tears, she recognized her father's handwriting on the back. She felt her anger drain as her hands started to shake. It took everything she had to keep her grip on the letter. She couldn't believe how his handwriting turned her into this shaky baby. "You probably think this is funny," she replied as she opened the letter. It wasn't until a second later that Toni felt her heart stop.
There was dried blood.
The end for now.
DON'T KILL ME. Did you think Toni would let Steve have it easy? Nope. Let's hope whatever is in that letter will help.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Also, side note: this is not and will not be a crossover with SUITS in any form. I just uses those names as they were the only names that I could think of for Lawyers.
Until next time.