Chapter 11
Peeta and I didn't make it to dinner at Haymitch's that night after round 2 turned into round 3…and then 4. We did show up with the promised banana bread just after dinner when we knew Haymitch would be at his most lucid. We were both fed and rested following our own quick dinner when we walked in through Haymitch's kitchen door and found him sitting at the table with the remnants of his pot pie on a plate in front of him and Gale sitting in a chair across the table.
"Evening kids." Haymitch said with a smirk and nodded his head once in the direction of the oven. "Still some pot pie left if you're interested." He said and we took the remaining empty seats across from each other putting us both between Gale and Haymitch.
"Thanks, we ate something before we came over." Peeta said putting the banana bread down in the middle of the table and taking Haymitch's knife to slice it. Everyone reached for the middle of the table and grabbed a slice which we all spread a generous amount of butter on before leaning back in our chairs to eat.
"You feelin' alright boy?" Haymitch asked between bites of bread and Peeta smiled easily at him and then cut me a shy glance. I couldn't help looking over at Gale quickly. He was sipping a glass of water and looking at Peeta with a mixture of sympathy and envy. I assumed he, like Haymitch, was smart enough to figure out what Peeta and I had been up to most of the day.
"Yeah, I'm good." Peeta said looking at Haymitch and then back at me again. "Thanks, Haymitch." He said turning back to his slice of bread and lifted his eyes to Gale.
"What have you been up to today Gale?" I asked leaning forward with my elbows on the table and reaching for another slice of bread. Gale chewed slowly and swallowed before he answered.
"Hung out with Sae a bit this afternoon, met up with Thom for a little." He said and turned his attention to Peeta. "Saw those plans for the new bakery. It looks like it's gonna be really nice, good luck with it." Gale said offering Peeta a genuine smile. "I'm sure it'll help things feel more like home here to have the smell of the breads and cakes in the town square again." He said and Peeta nodded.
"Thanks, I like to think it'd make my parents and my brothers proud to know I kept the family business going. Now that everyone can afford the breads and cakes and other sweets they stared at in the bakery window for years, there's a bigger demand for them in 12." Peeta explained and smiled at me again. "Besides, I think Katniss' cheese bun habit is getting bigger than the kitchen in my old house can accommodate." He teased and everyone laughed.
"Shut up!" I said tossing a balled up napkin across the table at him which he caught easily and threw back at me. I deflected it with one hand and shook my head at Peeta with a little laugh.
"Haymitch tells me you also sell your artwork now too." Gale said sitting back casually in his chair. "I could use something on the walls in my new apartment. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to take a look at some of your stuff before I leave Saturday." He asked and Peeta nodded.
Gale's mention of Saturday reminded me that I wanted to invite him to hunt with me. The drama surrounding Peeta's episode had taken up almost all of Gale's visit and I realized that if I wanted to ask him, it'd be now or never. Having spent the day reconnecting with Peeta, I felt it was safe enough to ask.
"Oh! Before you head back to District 2, I thought maybe you'd like to go hunting with me tomorrow?" I asked and tried not to look nervous about his answer.
Gale's eyes immediately went to Peeta and then to me. "Is…that a good idea?" he asked looking between the two of us. "I mean, could it set Peeta off again?" he explained and I opened my mouth to answer, but Peeta beat me to it.
"I'm okay for now…." He answered honestly and looked at us both. "One of the things Dr. Aurelius wants me to work on is to be more trusting of people and take them on their word." Peeta explained quietly and then smiled at me. "I'm doing pretty well with trusting Katniss…" he said and then turned his attention to Gale. "I want to trust you." He admitted freely and Gale looked at him for a long few seconds and nodded.
"That sounds good enough to me I guess." He shrugged and looked back to me. "Sure, I'll go hunting with you tomorrow. You have an extra bow still stashed away somewhere?" He asked standing and clearing his spot, placing the dishes in the sink.
I nodded. "Yeah, sure. Meeting spot at 7 o'clock tomorrow?" I asked and Gale nodded. I could tell that he was happy to be making such familiar plans with me, even if his motivations weren't the same as they were when we were just young kids trying to feed our families and slowly growing to love each other as more than friends.
Gale washed his hands before heading for the door, leaving the three of us with one last smile before he went back to Peeta's old house for the night.
Haymitch waited until Gale's footsteps had left the porch before he spoke. "You two talked about this?" he asked and then grunted when we both nodded. "Okay, just hope you know what you're doing." He said in that tone he used when he wanted to say that he knew better than us, but was trying to resist actually coming out and saying it.
"Relax old man, we got this." Peeta said giving Haymitch a good natured slap on the shoulder to which he raised an eyebrow.
"You seem cheery this evening, been up to anything productive today? Get a lot of baking done? Some paintings to sell in town?" he asked not being able to resist harassing us. Peeta probably should have held off on the 'old man' comment.
Peeta was impressively unfazed by his teasing. "Yeah, actually I did get some painting done." He said winking at me and biting into his third slice of banana bread. I know I must have turned bright red but I also couldn't help the smile in my eyes.
Haymitch huffed and grabbed the bottle of liquor next to his plate and took a long swig. "Nevermind, I'm sorry I asked." He grumbled and Peeta shook with laughter. I joined in a moment later as we both enjoyed seeing Haymitch be the one embarrassed for a change.
We left shortly after just as the sun had set completely beneath the horizon and walked back to our yard. Peeta was starting for the door talking about getting some actual work done but I tugged his hand, leading him to the backyard.
"Where are we going?" He asked with a smile but continued following me. I turned the corner into the backyard in answer.
Before we had left for Haymitch's I had laid out a blanket in the yard similar to the one we had taken up onto the roof with us for our all day picnic the day before the Quarter Quell. Peeta smiled and looked around the yard which he'd mowed a few days before his episode.
"Needs a trim." He said reaching down to run his fingers through the shaggy grass. I leaned into his side as he stood and one of his arms came around me, holding me close.
"Do it tomorrow while Gale and I are hunting." I suggested and kissed his neck once softly. "It'll keep your mind busy." Peeta nodded and we stood watching as the flicker of more and more fireflies appeared in the summer evening. As we started walking over to the blanket on the lawn, a chorus of crickets could be heard tuning up their instruments for their nightly show.
"Look at that, a light show and background music, you sure are lucky to have a girlfriend who plans ahead so well." I joked as we kicked off our shoes and lay down beside one another looking up at the stars that stretched far and wide across the night sky.
"Lightings not bad either." Peeta sighed and pulled me over so that I was tucked under one arm. I lay my head on his chest and he began to play with my hair, probably thinking of practicing his knot tying skills like he had on the roof that day.
"Thanks Katniss, this is great." He whispered and brought one hand down to rest over the one I had placed on his stomach.
I nodded. "You're welcome. I figured you wanted to spend time outside after being in for so long…and I didn't exactly give you a whole lot of outside time after the lake this morning." I smiled and Peeta chuckled softly.
"Yeah, I'd complain if I didn't have so much fun being inside the rest of the day." He whispered and stroked a finger up the back of my arm, spreading gooseflesh in its wake. I lifted my head and grinned up at him, leaning in to kiss him silly.
"Well, then I'm glad I did keep you inside…" I teased against his lips and he moved his hands down to my backside, tugging me up to lay on top of him. I let my legs fall to either side of his hips and propped myself up on my flat palms as I continued kissing him. The sound of the crickets grew louder, making me think of the Capitol crowds when they would cheer us on each time we kissed in public.
I pulled back with a start and looked down into Peeta's eyes. I could see him pretty well by the light of the half moon and he was frowning. "You alright?" he asked a little louder than a whisper and I shrugged and took a deep breath.
"Memories just…getting in the way," I murmured and looked around the yard briefly to remind myself that this wasn't the Capitol. That Peeta and I were safe and alone in our own yard together.
I was watching a firefly crawl on a long blade of grass beside the blanket when I felt Peeta reach up and cup my cheeks in his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes.
"You know, sometimes with all of the problems I have, it's easy to forget that I'm not the only one whose been emotionally damaged by the Games and the war." He said almost sounding apologetic. "I'm going to try and work on that…hopefully I'll have plenty of time to get better at it." He said with a small smile and leaned up to kiss me once gently on the lips.
"I love you Katniss. More than anything in the world." He whispered. Usually I'd think people saying something like that would be corny, but with the conviction Peeta puts into everything he says (because he actually does mean everything he says), it just made me feel…cherished. It wasn't something I'd felt since I was a little child and my father had been alive, or since my sister had been killed and my mother left District 12 and all of the ghosts behind. It was the feeling of family. It was then that I realized Peeta was my family and would be for as long as I'd like.
I took a shuddering breath as a peace I hadn't felt in some time, if ever, settled over me. Dr. Aurelius would call it a 'break through'. I still had some deep seeded aversion to the idea of marriage that certainly wasn't lessened by the whole fake proposal and wedding planning in the Capitol, but sharing the rest of my life with Peeta seemed like something I could definitely do.
"I love you too, Peeta. More than anything or anyone in the world." I whispered back, feeling my eyes welling up with tears. Peeta brushed them away with his thumbs before rolling us over on the blanket until he was on top of me and started kissing me passionately. I wrapped one arm around his torso, tracing the length of his spine with my fingertips as the other arm slipped between us and reached for the zipper of his shorts.
"Mmm…jeez Katniss, aren't you tired of me yet after today?" he teased against my lips and I shook my head.
"Never." I said biting his bottom lip gently between my teeth as I freed his erection from the shorts but left them on.
"I'd like that in wriring for future use if it isn't too much trouble." He laughed against my throat and groaned when I gripped him tightly. "Ohhh…that's nice." He moaned and reached down between us, his hands shaking around mine as he reached for the zipper on my shorts and worked them and my panties down to my knees.
I giggled and reached for the corner of the blanket near my head and produced a small packet from beneath it and ripped it open between our faces. Peeta laughed and kissed me while I rolled the condom onto him.
"Wow, I suspected there might be some kissing but you did plan this you hussy." Peeta growled beside my ear and I pinched his inner thigh which made him yelp. "alright, alright! I'll behave!" he laughed and I wrapped my arms around his torso again so that my hands were flat on his back. I looked up into his eyes and suddenly the situation wasn't quite so funny anymore.
I raised my hips to his, rubbing against his hardness gently and Peeta brought his lips down onto mine again, kissing me hard as he slowly sank into me. He thrust his hips suddenly when he was about halfway in and I cried out as it both burned a little and felt fantastic at the same time.
"Okay?" Peeta asked with a shaky voice beside my ear and I nodded quickly and hooked my ankles behind his knees to open myself up to him more. "Love you." He whispered as he began to move. He reached down one hand at a time and pulled my hands up so that they were on either side of my head, our fingers entwined.
I focused on the sound of the crickets and the slow twinkle of the stars above us as I eased into the feel of him inside me. Even after all we had done that day, it still felt a little strange. I didn't know if it was his size or the fact that we were both new to this, or that we were essentially out in public, but I had to work to calm my nerves and I felt Peeta respond in kind to my anxiousness. He slowed his movements, thrusting shallowly until I had relaxed enough that he could move more fluidly.
I began raising my hips to his which told me that I was nearing my climax, and I could tell Peeta was close by the way he was breathing. He sounded like he was training for a marathon. I smiled against his lips and pushed up with my hands. Peeta initially mistook my pushing for me wanting him to get off of me and he pulled out and raised his head back so that he was looking down into my face.
"Sure you're okay?" he asked again and I nodded shyly.
"Yes, yeah I'm fine, I just…wanted to try something…" I mumbled and Peeta smiled softly and nodded for me to go ahead. I sat up and pushed him over onto his back on the opposite end of the blanket and kicked my shorts and panties aside as I moved to straddle his belly.
Peeta's face told me that what he assumed I had planned was definitely working for him. He reached for my hands again and placed them flat on his chest over his t-shirt and then reached for my hips which he helped me to raise up. We both looked down between us in the moonlight and helped each other to line up our hips again. I sank slowly down onto his erection, not able to take my eyes off of where we were joined until he was all the way inside.
"Shit!" Peeta gasped and gripped my hips so tightly I almost cried out. "Uhh..yeah, I'm gonna apologize in advance..." He grunted as I slowly lifted myself off of him and then settled back down. "Because I'm gonna last for about 2 more of those and that's it!" he cried and dropped his head back to the blanket, digging the back of it into the ground underneath as his eyes rolled back.
I smiled wickedly and repeated my little move, chuckling softly at the way Peeta's cheeks puffed out and sweat began to bead above his lip and under his eyes. I had to admit, it felt amazing to me too, but my feelings probably had more to do with the power it gave me over both of our pleasure.
Slowly but surely I began to rock my hips back and forth, leaning forward so that his penis was making contact with my most sensitive parts. I raised my hips up again and felt Peeta's hands go to my chest, massaging my breasts through my shirt tenderly as I continued to move on top of him.
I threw my head back and looked up at the stars again, thinking that this was just one of the first of a million memories I wanted to make with this boy and that was what finally pushed me over the edge. I dropped forward so that I was lying on Peeta's chest and buried my face in his neck as I let out a loud noise of satisfaction.
Peeta wasn't far behind, as I felt him still his hips, his face pressed against my shoulder as he cried out too and then went slack underneath me.
We lay there, the sound of our panting almost drowning out the crickets and the lights around the fireflies looking fuzzy and out of focus to my bleary eyes.
"Fan-damn-tastic." Peeta moaned as we kissed and I felt him soften inside of me and slip out slowly. I climbed off of his lap and lay down beside him again as he hiked up his pants and I pulled the part of the blanket we weren't lying on over my exposed lower body.
We huddled close together, kissing occasionally and stroking our hands over different heated parts of bodies until we each regained the ability to form a coherent thought.
"Bed." Peeta finally croaked out and I whined.
"No, no more…I can't…" I almost cried and Peeta laughed and kissed the top of my head. He lifted his head and looked around at the dark houses that surrounded ours in Victor's Village. The lights in his old home were out indicating Gale was likely asleep and the house to the other side, occupied now by a few of the builders working to restore the town was dark as well. It must have been pretty late.
"No, no I meant for sleep." He said sitting up and reaching for my shorts and underwear and handing them to me along with both of our shoes. Before I could even sit up to put them on, Peeta stood and scooped me up in his arms still wrapped in the blanket and carried me inside the house.
It was a cool night and as Peeta set me down on my feet inside the door and I fixed the blanket around me, I saw him go to the thermostat and turn off the air conditioning. I knew his next step would be to head upstairs and open all of the windows on the second floor for sleeping.
"I'll get the windows and meet you in bed." I said kissing him at the bottom of the stairs. "I'm sure you need to use the bathroom first." I said against his lips and Peeta nodded and followed me up the stairs.
When Peeta finally made his way into our bedroom I was already changed into a light nightgown and curled up on my side of the bed. He was back in another pair of cotton sleep pants like the ones he'd had on...briefly during the day. I smiled at him as he sat down on the end of the bed to remove his prosthetic and then climbed under the covers himself.
We lay on our sides staring at each other in companionable silence for a few minutes before Peeta yawned and I scooted over into his arms, resting my head on his shoulder.
"Goodnight Peeta. I love you." I whispered turning my head to look up at him. He lowered his lips to mine and kissed me once and then twice before settling his head back onto his pillow with a happy sigh.
"Love you too, wake me if you need anything." He said probably thinking of his promise to be more mindful of my struggles. But it was all for naught as we both fell asleep almost immediately with the crickets singing through the open windows and the fireflies blinking their own version of Morse code across our drapes.
That week was the last time I saw the red X on the door for such a stretch of time that I wondered if perhaps Peeta was actually cured of his episodes. Naturally, that made it even more devastating the next time I saw it...
On the same night he first proposed to me for real, and the first time I turned his proposal down.
To be continued in chapter 12…
A/N: Obviously the next chapter is going to focus on an episode caused by her turning down his proposal and I have a few life events already in mind for episodes that will bring out the X, but if you have any in particular that you'd like to see leading up to where they are in the first chapter where Katniss begins telling the story of the red X, let me know in reviews or with a PM and I will try and work them into the story! Thanks!