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I couldn't wait. Here ya go!

Clarity, Part 2

A piece of advice for future Astrid – never try to punish yourself. It backfires, and you end up covered in fish muck, looking like an idiot.

Astrid stomped unhappily behind Hiccup; the hanky burning a hole in her pocket. She had, after much wrangling with herself, decided to take it to Hiccup and apologise for earlier. She also intended to get to the bottom of his own odd behaviour as well. Halfway there she had second guessed herself, and dashed to the Reptiles section to grab a pail of fish for Toothless as a piece offering. She could claim she had been told to drop it off by Fishlegs, which wasn't technically untrue. The man had practically stumbled over himself, sending her off with an exceptionally out of character wink over his ruddy cheeks.

But then Toothless came out of nowhere; snarling and ready to attack before realising it was a friendly face. The fish slipped and splattered over the ground in her panic. But the second Hiccup rounded that corner she had inhaled sharply and froze.

He was flushed – eyes narrowed, rake held in front of him like a gardening version of a lightsaber. Leaves hung in his ruffled hair; clearly the product of some sort of leaf fight. Her name, falling somewhat confused from his lips, made Astrid want to smile. But then his forced polite demeanour came over him like a mask; hiding that open face from her view.

At least Toothless was happy to see her.

The cabin area wasn't something Astrid hadn't seen before; despite having slept in the other room. As the door swung shut behind her she watched Toothless prowl around the area impatiently, waiting for his food. The kitchen counters spread along the left side wall, opposite the open plan dining / living room area. A comfy couch sat before a wide TV screen, and further in she saw a large bathroom through an open door. Hiccup didn't relax; he stalked about gathering a large bowl for Toothless and placing it down on a dropped down level next to her feet. He gestured without looking, and Astrid reached out and poured her fish with loud slaps into the bowl.

Soon, only the sound of Toothless eating could be heard. Astrid eyed the gunk still clinging to her fingers. Some of her dismay must of shown on her face, because Hiccup cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his head.

"You can use the sink, if you'd like?" He offered it like a question. This was more than she'd seen over the last week or so – rather than the polite, professional act, it was the hesitant, genuine Hiccup. It made her dare to hope he would take her apology well.

After she'd dried her hands, she reached in and brought out the neatly folded hanky. Hiccup frowned at the material.

"Why do you have that?"

Astrid slowed down her thoughts to pay attention to his tone. "Fishlegs asked me to drop off the fish for Toothless – I saw it on the office desk and decided I may as well give it too."

Those green eyes focused so intently on her she felt she couldn't breath. Then he looked away and nodded gamely at the wall. "Thank you. Will you be in tomorrow?"

What breath he had stolen continued to stay out of her lungs. "I will be." She wheezed.

He nodded again. Then again. Then rubbed the back of his head. Astrid breathed slowly again, seeing that. He was nervous too. She could work with that.

"I'm sorry."

The words echoed her previous apology. Although she couldn't tell him about some of why she was sorry, she could hopefully offer him her genuine regret. "I shouldn't have blown up at you in the office. Nor should I have kissed your cheek."

Astrid nearly choked on her own words. She hadn't meant to say that! "And Heather," She hurried on. "I shouldn't have been catty. I've been a terrible employee. I know we got along a lot better before...all this, and I was hoping there was something I could do to make it up to you."

Hiccup turned his head, his eyes beams in the dying light. She cleared her throat again.

"I may have said some...untrue things in the past." She started wringing her hands together. "But I never said anything to hurt you deliberately, I swear. I just was in a bad situation, and it made me on edge. All the time."

Astrid wasn't liking the silence. She dared to peek at his gaze; still broadcasting those circles of impassioned green. The next words caught in her throat and faded, leaving them waiting in the silence. Hiccup turned his face away and ran his fingers over the counter-top, strumming a silent beat onto the wood.

"What other lies have you told?"

If Hiccup had been facing her, the tremor would have given her away. "Not ones that were really important." She skirted around the question. "I wasn't deceiving you to be mean, or to be cruel."

"Then why did you lie?" He sounded frustrated. Astrid began to feel the same; confusion altering her previously thought out sentences.

"What? What lie are you referring to, exactly?" Her voice shook slightly. It carried over to Hiccup and made him focus on her struggling face.

"The lie you told me." His words were trembling too. But his neck was tense with anger, and it echoed back on Astrid to fuel her rising ire.

"Why don't you tell me which one?" She couldn't help the snap of her lips, the gritted clack of her teeth. Her visible anger snapped something within Hiccup, who suddenly slammed his fist down onto the worktop. It rang out like a gunshot; stilling everything in the room and making Toothless leap up with a bark.

"The lie." He told his stilled hand. Astrid remained frozen; shocked by the door. "The lie you built your work application on. The family ranch. The years working with animals. The permit letter I opened, while you smiled at me, that said you had no qualifications."

Whatever control Astrid had been clinging onto vanished at his reveal. Fear stopped her breath and closed her chest; narrowing her vision at Hiccup as through a dark tunnel. His words were scathing; disgusted. Her mouth retorted back without really trying; automatically protecting her heart from the pain.

"I was desperate! I needed the job! Don't pretend like it was perfect here anyway; I basically came and ran that entire office on my own."

Astrid could have slapped herself. This wasn't how this was meant to go.

"Don't you dare." Hiccup dragged his prosthetic across the floor with a step of rage in her direction. "There is so much work and love here; you don't see it, being cooped up in your head all the time. We put our heart, soul and sweat into everything we do for this park! We care! You don't! Why are you here?"

"You hired me!"

"I can un-hire you if I like!"

"Then why don't you!"

"Because unlike you-" He scowled and towered over her like the god of war; terrifying and awesome in his rampant fury. "I actually have a heart."

Astrid stood her ground despite the hot prickling over her face. "You don't even know me."

"I tried!" He ran his fingers through his hair, snarling at the strands that caught at his fingers. "How the gods do I know you haven't lied every time you've talked to me? About your degree? About your housing situation? For all I know you're a crack addict who ran out of money to pay her landlord!"

Astrid's hand was up and out to slap before she could think. But Hiccup was faster, and slapped at it with his own calloused hand, tightening his grip painfully.

"No. More. Fucking. Violence."

Those green eyes were beautiful when filled with rage.

They stayed like that, hands gripped together like some sort of pact. Astrid opened her mouth several times to speak, but couldn't find the right words to respond. Hiccup eventually lowered her hand and undid his fingers one by one, lifting his hand awkwardly out of hers.

The panic that shot through her at his leaving, his dismissal, left her no other thought process than no no wait no and her hand snatched his back with a cry. They froze, his eyes burning into her, and she stuttered through her fear.

"I only lied about the animals." Her voice was high and thin. "Everything else was true, I swear. You- you're amazing, Hiccup. The park is amazing. Toothless is amazing. Your drawings are wonderful; I want to see them again."

She couldn't look up at his eyes. Instead, she focused on loosening her hand, but daring to keep her hold. What started as an apology had ended up as a confession. If she was being fired after this, she may as well go for broke.

"I ended up loving it here. I didn't expect it to. I spent years doing things fine on my own." Her increasing need to get all of her explanation out made her rush. "Then I saw you. And this place. And I saw the teamwork, the love, the effort you all put in. You hold it together Hiccup so effortlessly; sometimes I feel like you must fly; you go so fast you barely give yourself any time on the ground. I was jealous. Of the family here, of not fitting in like always. I can't succeed here, I can't win on merit alone. That made me scared."

Her hand was shaking so violently she was half expecting Hiccup to let go. "But you showed me patience." She breathed deep, taking the truths she was revealing and tending to her bleeding heart like emotional bandages. The way she had lived life couldn't go on. It was time to change – for better or for worse. Acknowledging her feelings would be the start of something unplanned; something she couldn't control the outcome.

"You proved to me that all you needed were friends and passion, and anything is possible. Your own way of living made me want to see you more. You're free, Hiccup. You're so breathtaking, it makes me hurt."

This was getting more honest than Astrid had ever been in her life. It made her heart sore, but in a good way – like exercising. It burned through the body on its way out, leaving a satisfying aftermath. It made her smile like some weight had lifted.

"I don't want to leave before living." Astrid's voice was a lilting note in the silence. "I want to stay." Another pause, and she finished almost inaudibly. "...with you."

The dust settled around their hands like glitter. Even Toothless had stopped moving behind them. She admired the contrast of their hands; tanned and corded held by her pale fingers like slim vines. His steady breathing matched her own. They breathed in tandem and for a minute or so, and Astrid believed for one glorious moment that it would be fine.

Until Hiccup ever so gently pulled against her palm.

Her heart stuttered and spluttered to a slow beat as she let him slip literally through her fingers and let her hand fall back to her side. The hope nursing her heart like a flame flared out at the rejection. She knew being honest like this would hurt. But the flash of pain that threatened to envelop her chest made her physically feel sick. She heard him cough to clear his throat, and said her name so quietly she thought she'd missed it.

"Astrid." His voice gained strength. "I'm glad you said this to me. I'm happy the parks important to you – you see it." A tired chuckle floated over her head. "I'm glad you finally see it. I'm not letting you go; of course not."

Astrid fixed her attention on her shoes. They were standard boots that desperately needed a polish. She felt like letting the ground swallow her up.

"I think we're okay." Hiccup told her earnestly. He sounded happier. "I can see you care for the park. I'll stop being such a jackass." He gave another laugh. "I can't believe I didn't realise how much you loved it here. You really do care."

She frowned, something about his words finally clicking into her brain. She looked up at his content face, those eyes relaxed, and realised he'd completely misunderstood her entire point.

"What?"

To Hiccup, Astrid's voice sounded scratchy. Compared to the hushed confession she had spilled, it sounded coarse. A confession that all the way through, she held his hand and made him feel like he really could fly. Hiccup could have been hit with a broom and he couldn't have paid less attention. Her words struck his heart repeatedly, like darts of expressive feeling that roared and dipped with every secret that passed her lips.

She called his drawings wonderful. She loved Toothless. She liked the park. Every endearment of him made his chest inflate and hurt. It bordered on pain, her confession. It wasn't about him, he knew. It was about her realising her need to begin living; not hiding from her former pain and life. He was so proud he could burst. So he stashed down his burgeoning hope and locked it deep.

"It's okay." He repeated. His hand automatically rubbed at his neck. "I'm glad you realised."

A spark of the former Astrid flashed in her eyes. "Hiccup." She spoke his name gently, but slowly, like she was speaking to a child. "I was speaking about you."

"Yes." Hiccup nodded vigorously. "You were. I'm glad I helped."

In efforts to calm his heart, he clanked over to the counter with lead-like legs to fill and put on the kettle. "You want tea?" He called out louder than intended. "I love it. Makes me think of summer."

He busied himself with cups and teabags, scrambling to grab spoons from the drawer. "Can you lift the metal bowl from the floor? Toothless will lick it all night if we let him."

The kettle popped and bubbled to signal its boiling point. He hurriedly made the tea and carried it over to the couch, placing the cups farther than necessary away from each-other on the coffee table. This was good. They would have sat and drank tea and talked like this before everything happened. He sat down and pulled off his boot, kicking it under the table. His sock followed a second later.

Hiccup took a sip of his scalding tea, listening intently out for Astrid. He eventually heard her quiet footsteps and he inwardly sighed, relaxing into the cushions.

They were fine. He just knew it.

His mug was gently taken from him and placed on the table. Hiccup looked up into blue eyes that caught and held his soul like so many other times. But this time, they didn't stay away.

The lightest of pushes on his chest sent him leaning, dazed, back into the couch. Astrid followed, never leaving his gaze, as she eased her knees either side of Hiccup's legs to straddle him delicately. Hiccup's pulse was thundering in his ears like drums, making it hard for him to actually hear anything. Her hands trailed up, the fingertips betraying the faintest trembles, like lines of fire branding into his skin.

His own stayed caught between their bodies; splayed out across her ribcage to feel her beating heart fluttering wildly against his own fingers. Those eyes came so close they nearly blurred, and her breath fanned out across his lips in faint puffs.

"You're who I want, Hiccup." Her voice was shaky.

He breathed out her name, uncertain. They shared that breath, and then her lips touched so softly to his.

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