Chapter 15

We will run and scream
You will dance with me
They'll fulfill our dreams and we'll be free

And we will be who we are
And they'll heal our scars
Sadness will be far away

Mumford and Sons- "Not With Haste"

We arrived in the Capitol on schedule 4 days after the initial start to our trip. We had stopped to sleep 2 more nights after the first and eating and sleeping in the trailer became less uncomfortable with each passing day. It actually began to feel like our own little home away from home.

"Arriving in Capitol city in…2.3 miles." The voice on the guidance system reported this news with an excitement neither of us felt in the slightest. Everything up to that point in the drive had been fun and full of new experiences. We had shared story after story about our families, our friends, secrets from childhood we had told to no one else. I learned that Peeta kept the remaining piece of a thread-bare blanket that he'd had as a child in his drawer in our bedroom beneath his layers of clothing. He learned that I kept one of Prim's hair ribbons in the end table on my side of the bed.

Peeta slowed the car to a stop, putting it in park and taking a deep breath as we reached the most outlying part of the Capitol. I knew this was going to be tough on both of us, but Peeta had the worst experience being in the Capitol by far.

I watched quietly as he took another breath, staring straight ahead at the road that would lead us back into the place we hated most. I reached over and took his hand on the seat between us, running my thumb soothingly over his knuckles to try and calm him.

"I'm with you, Peeta. It'll be okay." I whispered and he nodded after a minute and offered a tentative smile. He squeezed my hand before putting the car back in drive and slowly heading down the road.

The first thing we noticed was that where there once had been a Capitol check point with armed peace keepers and what amounted to a barricade blocking entrance to the city, there was now a small arched tunnel that led straight through to the other side of the Capitol's walled city center.

"Man, Plutarch wasn't kidding was he?" I asked leaning forward in the car and craning my neck around to see the various drastic changes that had occurred in the time since we'd been there last.

The cold, militaristic style of the old regime was gone. In some cases that style was literally gone, as I noticed some buildings I'd seen on the Star Squad's covert trek through the city had been demolished and smaller, more inviting buildings erected in their place.

Peeta drove on quietly but I could see him looking around at the new buildings and monuments as well. He followed the directions the guidance system provided until we pulled up in front of a building we had never been to before and climbed out of the car. I walked around to Peeta's side and was just reaching for his hand when we heard a familiar voice calling to us from across a street where nice, new cars passed us going in both directions.

We both turned around and found Dr. Aurelius smiling and waving us over to where he was standing. I took Peeta's hand and we waited for a lull in the traffic before we hurried over to the cobblestone walkway he was standing on outside of what looked like an apartment building.

"Hey Doc, long time no see….thankfully." Peeta said with a tight smile and shook the man's hand. Dr. Aurelius turned to me next, taking my hand as he had Peeta's and shaking it gently.

"Katniss, good to see you." He said looking me over in a way only a doctor could. "You look well, that's wonderful, just wonderful." He smiled and looked down at our linked hands.

Thanks to our weekly telephone calls and a persistent interest in our daily activities, Dr. Aurelius knew about the developments in our relationship since we'd both returned to District 12. He actually knew more about those developments than either of us felt comfortable with once we were face to face with him. It was one thing to talk about such intimate topics over the phone, but in person was a different story.

"I am, thank you." I said with a tired smile and leaned into Peeta's side as we waited for…whatever was to come next. Despite the awkwardness, it was probably wise that they had sent us to the person from the Capitol we were in closest contact with and who we probably trusted the most as a way of easing us back into the city.

"Oh! Right, right…um…accommodations." Dr. Aurelius said turning and waving hand in the direction of the building behind us. "You've been assigned a private residence for the duration of your stay." He said and both mine and Peeta's jaw dropped open. It was the size of 3 victor homes. When the doctor saw the looks on both our faces, he laughed softly. "Miss Trinket will be joining you as well and of course Mr. Abernathy is due in on the train tomorrow."

"We're all staying together?" I asked trying to keep the uncertainty out of my voice. I wasn't sure if it would be better or worse on us to have our Hunger Games chaperone and mentor staying with us like they had in the Games.

Dr. Aurelius heard the change in my voice and explained quickly. "Miss Trinket still considers schedule keeping to be her specialty and Haymitch, as you have both told me on many occasions, is the closest thing you have to family and I believe his presence will help to keep you grounded to District 12 while you are here." He paused a moment and then smiled. "Of course, some of your fellow remaining victors will be staying here as well including Johanna Mason and Annie Odair."

When Peeta and I raised our eyebrows in surprise, he nodded. "Both of them expressed a desire for shared accommodations. I think it's safe to assume that you aren't the only ones feeling a little apprehensive about being back in the Capitol." Dr. Aurelius explained with a tight smile.

"They should both be arriving sometime early tomorrow so why don't you get yourselves settled in. Get something to eat, get a good night's sleep." he said walking with us back across the street to collect our luggage from the camper. He helped us carry our things back across the street and we stood at the entrance to the large property not saying a word.

When Peeta and I both looked the large building over nervously and turned our eyes back to him, the doctor leaned back against the wrought iron gate that stretched along the walk in front of the property as his face grew serious.

"I don't want either of you to think that the government is taking your willingness to return for the anniversary lightly. We recognize that this was a very difficult decision for you all to make and we want to make sure you are as comfortable as possible during your visit." He said and glanced at the large estate with a shrug. "We're aware obviously, that nothing will make up for the trauma you've sustained, but we just wanted you to know how much it means to us and how much it will mean to the country, to see you again." He said and looked down at our hands which were once again entwined. "To see that you're healing and moving forward with your lives just as they are."

We both nodded silently and he let us take the first steps through the gate and up the walkway to the front door. Dr. Aurelius rang the bell and a kind looking older gentleman answered and welcomed us inside. He identified himself as Avitus and said he would tend to anything we needed while in the residence. He was dressed in a simple charcoal colored suit with a white button down shirt and a tie.

"Your dinner has been prepared and is awaiting you in the dining room whenever you are ready." He announced with a smile as he ushered us into the huge foyer with two staircases right in front of us leading up to the same point on the second floor.

"Actually, if you don't mind, could we just have it brought to our room and eat there if it's not too much trouble?" I asked looking Peeta over quickly and realizing just how physically and emotionally exhausted he was. Avitus smiled and gave a quick little bow.

"Speaking of, how the heck do we find our room? This place is gigantic." Peeta asked switching the suitcase he was holding to his other hand and craning his neck back to look all around him.

"This way." Dr. Aurelius said with a wink and cocked his head toward the stairs. We climbed them together to the second floor silently and he led us to the left once we reached the landing. "I took the liberty of choosing your bedroom for you. I hope you don't mind…" he said taking out a key and unlocking a door before handing the key to me.

"There's a beautiful balcony with a seating area and it looks out on most of the city." He said as we stepped into the room. "I thought perhaps Peeta might like to draw some so I had them place an easel by the French doors to the balcony and bring in an assortment of oil paints, sketchpads, pencils, anything you might need…"

I had to admit, Dr. Aurelius had gone all out. The room was magnificent. Two of our bedroom at home could have fit inside of it. The bed was the biggest I'd ever seen, four posts with a covering I recognized as a canopy and dark curtains that went all the way around on the three sides of the bed not including the headboard which was pressed against the wall. Dr. Aurelius had clearly been listening when we spoke of our sleeping difficulties and probably wanted to give us something that would keep light out for as long as possible.

I made note of a large double-door closet and a smaller door that likely went into a bathroom.

Peeta placed our bags on the floor and dropped down to sit on the bed, his eyes going immediately to the easel and painting supplies in the same way Prim's had always gone to the cakes and cookies in the bakery window when she was little.

"Thank you, it's…perfect." I said putting my own bags down and turning to offer the doctor my hand. He smiled faintly and shook my hand back. As he headed for the door, he turned and cleared his throat.

"Now I know they look tempting, Peeta, but you leave those painting supplies until tomorrow." He warned with a smile and nodded toward me. "Unpack your things, eat something and sleep. Now, I don't have my prescription pad on me, but those are the doctor's orders." He said opening the door.

"Good night, Doc…and thanks." Peeta said finally looking away from the paints. Dr. Aurelius smiled tightly and bid us both a good night as he closed the door behind him. I looked over and caught Peeta eyeing the art supplies again.

"I'm going to go wash up and change into something more comfortable…" I said and chuckled when Peeta dragged his gaze away from the easel. "I won't tell on you if you want to check that stuff out…your secret'll be safe with me." I teased and a grin stretched across Peeta's face as he stood from the bed and walked over to me slowly.

"Thanks." He said leaning down to kiss me softly once and then twice. I nodded and patted his chest. "I'll give Haymitch a quick call first. Don't want him to get his nose all out of joint that we didn't check in."

"No problem, dinner should be up soon, I won't be long." I whispered and headed into the bathroom with a change of clothes I pulled from my suitcase. I untied my braid and shook it loose before shucking my traveling clothes from the day. I was just going to change but decided on a quick shower first to wash off the road dirt from the day.

When I emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later in a pair of cut-off sweats of my own and one of Peeta's big t-shirts, I saw a cart with several covered trays on it that I assumed was our dinner. Peeta had stripped down to his boxers and undershirt and was sitting at the easel with the drapes to the balcony open, doing a quick outline of the buildings we could see from our window.

I stepped up beside him and reached out a hand to run through the hair at the base of his skull and Peeta dropped his head back into my touch. "Looks nice." I commented looking between what he'd drawn and the city that lay outside the window. I had to admit, it looked very little like the city we'd seen during our last several visits.

"It's different." Peeta said with a shrug. "I guess that's good." He mumbled uncertainly and I moved around him to sit in his lap as we continued to watch out the window as the last rays of sun slipped below the horizon.

"Hey," I said taking his cheek and looking into his face. "No one expects this to be easy for us…you heard the doctor. It sounds like they're doing all they can to make us comfortable and I mean, look at this place…" I waved a hand around the room.

"I know, Katniss. I guess…I guess I'm just worried is all…" he sighed and ran a nervous hand through his hair. When I furrowed my brow as I tried to guess at what exactly he meant, Peeta reached into his pocket and pulled out the little red X.

I sighed and took it from him, closing my hand around it as I lay my head on his shoulder. "Don't be worried." I whispered. "I'll be here, Haymitch and Effie will be here." I smiled softly. "Your girlfriend Joahanna Mason will be here…" I chuckled and Peeta laughed and then groaned.

"She's going to be unbearable about this whole thing isn't she?" he asked pointing between the two of us. I lifted my head and kissed him softly.

"I'm sure we'll get some ribbing once she finds out we're living together, but hopefully she'll get it all out of her system early on and then cool it for the rest of the week." I grinned and kissed him again. As we kissed, I felt Peeta beginning to relax and I looped my arms around his neck, subtly reaching over to drop the letter on the edge of the easel.

"Come on." I whispered when I pulled back and stood from his lap. "Let's eat, I'm starving." Peeta nodded and stood with me as we went over to remove the lids from the dishes and placed them on the little dining table by the bed. I smiled when I noticed they had sent us the lamb stew we both loved. Dr. Aurelius was clearly trying to provide us with as many pleasant reminders of the Capitol as possible to help us settle in.

"Mmm…looks great." I said sitting down across from Peeta and ripping a large loaf of bread in half for us to share. We each ate 2 full bowls of the stew and were sitting cross-legged on the bed looking over the week's itinerary, each with a fork in hand as we shared half of a small chocolate cake sitting on a platter between us.

"Doesn't look too bad," I commented with a shrug around a mouthful of cake. "A welcome banquet tomorrow night…touring of the new city on Monday and Tuesday, unveiling of the Hunger Games memorial on Wednesday, interviews on Thursday, then we get something called 'choice excursion/rest day' on Friday, whatever that means…" I shrugged and looked up as a wicked grin spread across Peeta's face.

"I can think of a few 'choice excursions' that wouldn't even require us to leave this room that day." He said trying for sexy which was difficult since he had chocolate frosting in both corners of his mouth. I laughed and leaned over the plate like I was going to kiss him but reached up between us to gently wipe the frosting from his mouth with one finger which I then popped into my mouth to lick clean.

Peeta rolled his eyes and grabbed a napkin, wiping his mouth clean and leaning the rest of the way over to kiss me. "What about Saturday? Some big banquet again to say farewell I'm sure?" He asked and I rolled my own eyes and nodded.

"Doesn't seem too bad." He said trying to sound nonchalant but didn't look up from the remaining cake he was eating off of the plate. I reached over and took his free hand on the mattress between us and squeezed it gently.

"And it'll be even better because we have each other to come back here with and help make it through the night." I said softly and smiled at him when he finally looked up.

"Love you." Peeta whispered smiling back and turned his hand over to entwine our fingers.

"Love you, too." I whispered back and held up the last bite of cake on my fork for him to eat.

Peeta gasped and a grin stretched across his face. "Last bite?" he said excitedly. "Man, you really do love me." He said wrapping his lips around the fork with a chuckle. I rolled my eyes again and climbed off of the bed, taking our forks and the cake plate away and putting them on the cart which I then pushed out into the hallway outside of our door.

When I came back into the room, Peeta had pulled down the covers on the bed and was stretched out on his belly with his arms wrapped around the pillow under his head. I smiled and turned out the lights before cracking the window open to let in fresh air and then pulling the curtains around the bed tightly so that no light would penetrate them in the morning.

I climbed in next to Peeta and pulled the blankets over us both and wrapped my arms around my own pillow. "Night, Peet." I whispered and leaned over to kiss him. Peeta returned the kiss as he rolled to his side and pulled me over into his arms.

"Night, Katniss." He murmured and I rested my head in its usual place over his heart. Despite being in an unfamiliar place we both fell asleep quickly.

Neither one of us had any nightmares that night, which would have been pleasant enough a realization to wake up to except that I had an even more pleasant one for it to contend with. As I woke, I slowly became aware of Peeta's hands stroking their way under my shirt and up to hold my sides as he kissed down one side of my neck and across my collar bones to the other side.

I let him know I was awake and enjoying what he was doing with a quiet moan as I turned more into his arms and blinked my eyes open. It was still dark, but that didn't mean anything inside of our little cocoon behind the canopy curtains. It was kind of nice not knowing exactly what time it was though, and when Peeta's lips moved down as his hands pushed the shirt up farther on my chest to reveal my breasts, I wouldn't have cared if it was time for the evening's welcome banquet; I wasn't going anywhere right then.

"Mmm…morning." Peeta moaned against my chest as he wrapped his lips around one breast and began to tease the nipple with his rough tongue. I arched my back into his mouth in response and gripped the back of his head to let him know he was right where I wanted him to be.

"No…nightmares…" I panted and began to squirm as he settled me onto my back and climbed on top of me. I could feel that he was already naked and the fact that he had obviously planned to wake me up this way sent a thrill from my chest straight down to between my legs.

"I know…" he whispered into my cleavage as he worked his way over to the other breast. "Thought we'd celebrate properly." He murmured and I lifted one leg so that my thigh rubbed against his already straining erection.

"Sounds fantastic." I giggled and continued to rub my leg against him as he took the other breast in his mouth and pushed my hands back against the headboard so that he could push the t-shirt up my arms and over my head. He left it bunched at my wrists and when I moved my hands to slip them out of the shirt the rest of the way, I felt Peeta twist the fabric twice so that my hands were bound together and then slip the shirt around one of the rungs of the headboard. He pulled it back through so that he had me effectively handcuffed to the bed with my hands above my head.

He held onto the part of the t-shirt he had pulled back through and slid his other hand slowly down between us and under the waist of the cut-off sweatpants I had worn to bed. I bucked against him when his calloused fingers sank into me and tried to tug my hands away from the backboard with little success.

"Peeta…" I started to question him but he cut me off with a kiss and moved his fingers in and out of me gently at first and then with increasing speed.

"Shhh…I wanna make you come this way first." He whispered and I nodded and tried to control my breathing. Peeta had never done anything like this before. We generally took turns taking charge when we made love but never had either of us thought to take control without asking first. When I think back on that first year now, it makes me laugh to think of how adorably polite we were to each other in bed up to that point.

I nodded and tried to relax into the feel of him doing these things to my body, leaving me without the ability to reciprocate in any way. I quickly realized that without having to worry about making Peeta feel good too, I was able to focus solely on the feelings coursing through my own body and was surprised to find that it magnified them ten-fold. I had gone from 0-100 miles per hour in just over a minute since I had woken up and it had me trembling with the promise of a very powerful orgasm.

"PEETA!" I called out loudly and bucked my hips over and over into his hand. He moved the hand holding the t-shirt to the end of it closest to him so that he was barely holding onto any fabric at all but still keeping my hands pinned to the headboard. He pulled back his hand that was down my sweats suddenly, just as I was about to burst and pushed the pants down all the way to my knees.

"Hang onto the rails, Katniss." He whispered against my lips with a smile before kissing his way down my torso. As soon as I realized what he was going to do, I wrapped my hands around the rails, holding on for dear life. I had to admit that bossy, take charge Peeta was secretly one of my favorite sides to his personality, and to see it in bed made my libido do cartwheels.

He brought his mouth down on me hard, licking and kissing and probing with his tongue until it I felt like my entire body was a bomb about to detonate. I know I must have been making obscenely loud noises by that point, but I seriously could not have cared any less.

"Come on, Kat, it's okay, let go now…" he murmured against the heated flesh of my inner thighs and that last little tickle of his hot breath on my overheated skin was what pushed me over. I gripped the bedrails so hard I'm surprised they didn't snap off and dug my heels into the space between Peeta's shoulder blades as the most powerful orgasm I'd ever had tore through me.

When Peeta reappeared beside me, all I could see were his eyes in the darkness of our curtained bed. I was panting and covered in sweat as I turned over sluggishly and Peeta released my hands from the t-shirt finally so that I could bring them down around him.

"Ohh…Peeta…that was….absolutely amazing." I moaned and felt tears welling in my eyes unexpectedly.

"Katniss? You okay?" Peeta asked pulling back in alarm when he realized I was crying. He stroked my cheek with the knuckles of one hand and I could feel his eyes boring into mine. I nodded so that he could feel my head move and snuggled deeper into his arms.

"Yes…yeah, I'm fine I just…sometimes it overwhelms me to know how much you love me." I whispered with a sniffle and reached up to stroke his cheek. "…and to know how much I love you." I said catching his lips in a deep kiss.

This seemed to quell his concern and he rolled slowly to his back, pulling me with him so that I was stretched out along the length of his body. I dropped my legs to either side of his hips, trapping his erection between us and rubbing my belly against it a few times. When he hissed I knew he was already close from all that he had done to pleasure me and I pulled back from the kiss briefly.

"You ready?" I asked nipping at his chin and he nodded vigorously.

"How much longer is your shot good for?" he asked cupping my behind in both of his big hands and grinding up against me.

I had started taking bi-monthly shots for birth control in place of using condoms and I appreciated that Peeta kept track of them as well even though I suspected he definitely wanted to have children with me at some point. He had denied it, saying that he'd be happy with just the two of us for the rest of his life, but I saw the way he was with the children who came into the bakery. How he always snuck a few extra treats in with their parents' orders or how on one Sunday a month he ran a baking class for young children and I thought his face might split in two from all the smiling and laughing he did while trying to teach them to roll dough and add ingredients to cake and cookie mixes.

I tried to pretend I didn't see how much he enjoyed them, hoping that it would afford me a few years at least, before I had to start refusing him yet another happiness he deserved. I was still uneasy about the idea of marriage, having children wasn't even something I could begin to think about in those days.

I looked down at Peeta, waiting patiently for my response and shook my head to clear it of all the scary thoughts suddenly racing through my mind. "Umm…we're fine, it's only been a little over a month since my last one." I said even as I was raising my hips to line up with his.

Peeta nodded and slid his hands to my hip bones, rubbing little circles with his thumbs as he guided me to sink down onto him. We both sighed happily when he was all the way inside and I began to rock gently back and forth, my hands flat on his strong chest supporting me.

I reached over and pushed one of the curtains aside just enough to let some light in so that we could see each other clearly. I smiled down at him and he smiled back up before his eyes rolled back in his head when I began to bounce, pushing him deeper and deeper with each push of my hips.

"Ohhh…Katniss, shit that's good!" he gasped and began to thrust up in time with my bouncing as his hands slid to my chest and he squeezed my breasts hard. I moaned back and moved faster still, biting down on my bottom lip to keep from screaming as I felt another white hot orgasm building in my belly.

It was only a few seconds later that he thrust upwards once more and stilled as I felt him pour into me with his release. I kept moving as fast as ever though, and screamed loudly when I reached my own climax just after him. We collapsed in a sweaty heap and lay listening to each others ragged breathing calm. I felt Peeta softening quickly inside of me and with what little energy I had left, raised my hips off of his and we both groaned as he slipped out of me.

"Now that's the way to wake up." I teased in a raspy voice as I settled into his side and Peeta pulled the covers back up around us.

"You're welcome ma'am." He grinned and smacked a loud kiss on my cheek. I peeked up at him and smiled softly.

"I'm glad we didn't have any nightmares last night." I said stroking a hand across his abdomen and poking my finger into his navel playfully. Peeta's grin widened and he reached up to brush a strand of hair out of my eyes.

"So am I…obviously." He teased and stretched his arms above his head with a yawn. "What time is it?" he asked rubbing his eyes as he sat up. I pushed the curtain on my side of the bed away and blinked at the bright light coming from the bedroom window as I searched for the clock on the bedside table.

" It's after noon…" I said with an impressed chuckle and fixed the blankets around me as I turned to lay with my head in Peeta's lap. "We should probably get up and eat something. Dr. Aurelius said Johanna and Annie were going to be in sometime early today."

As if she had heard mention of her name, the door to our bedroom suddenly flew open and Johanna Mason herself strode into the room and took in the sight of us in bed. Peeta and I stared at her like two deer coming face to face with a hunter.

"Wow, smells like sex in here, good for you guys." She said without batting an eye and gave us both an animated thumbs up before surveying the room. "Screw this, you're room is twice the size of the ones Annie and I have!" She said striding over to the bathroom door and sticking her head inside for a look around. She cast a dirty look at the French doors to the balcony and folded her arms in a pout as she came to stand at the end of the bed.

"Johanna…" I said sweetly as I sat up fixing the blankets to make sure Peeta and I were both still covered. She looked at me expectantly and raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah, what?" She asked and shook her head as she looked over at the balcony once more and back to me.

"Please feel free to GET THE FUCK out of here. Like now." I said just as sweetly and tilted my head, smiling and batting my eyelashes for good measure.

She dropped her arms to her side with a huff and rolled her eyes. "Still kind of a prude huh?" She asked with a long suffering sigh as if she were a parent who just didn't know where they had gone wrong with their child. "How bout you, Blondie?" She asked wagging her eyebrows and lifting her chin to try and peek over the covers into Peeta's lap.

"Good-bye, Johanna…we'll come find you both for lunch shortly." Peeta said as if scolding a child who just wasn't understanding the meaning of the word no.

Johanna raised her hands defensively and then shrugged and headed for the door. "Take your time, she could obviously still use some…loosening up." She smirked and we could hear her mumbling something about thinking we would have been more appreciative since she at least waited until we had finished before she barged in.

When the door slammed behind her, I dropped back onto my pillow with a groan and covered my face with both hands.

"Did Johanna just tell us she was waiting outside our bedroom door listening to us have sex?" I mumbled through my hands and Peeta chuckled so I threw an arm at him blindly and smiled at his answering 'oof' when I made contact with his stomach.

"Hey!" He laughed and leaned over to kiss my cheek quickly. "At least we didn't have to lie in wait each night, wondering when the night would come that she would wreak embarrassing havoc on our love life! We got it out of the way in the first day!" he joked and I groaned again and covered my face.

"Oh stop, she's harmless…mostly." Peeta said clearing his throat and I dropped my hands to my side and propped myself up on my elbows to look at him. I couldn't help smiling at him, especially when he was grinning in that way that reminded me of a child caught with their hand in a cookie jar.

"I guess you're right." I sighed and shook my head. "Come on," I said pulling just the big t-shirt back on and climbing out of bed. "You…clean up in here while I get a quick shower and then we'll switch and head down for lunch."

"Do you think Annie brought the baby with her?" Peeta called after me as I headed into the bathroom. I turned on the shower before turning back into the doorway to talk to him. Peeta was standing in his underwear making the bed.

I shrugged and leaned against the doorway. Baby Zale. When Plutarch called to tell us that Annie had given birth, he told us his name and explained that it was an old Greek word meaning 'sea strength'. I hadn't asked why she didn't name the baby after Finnick. From the first pictures of the child we received it was clear that he was the spitting image of his father. That would likely be difficult enough on the little guy as he grew without giving him Finnick's name.

"Probably," I said with a sad sigh. "He's barely what? 3 months old? I'm sure she wouldn't leave him for the week."

Peeta nodded and smiled. "Can't wait to see him in person." He said sounding genuinely excited. I nodded and smiled back but didn't share the same excitement. At least not in the same way. A baby was a wonderful thing of course, but how many of them can you say you've watched their father die right in front of you?

I closed the bathroom door and climbed into the shower, trying not to think of how many people I'd loved and lost.

We found our way (after a few wrong turns) to the dining room where Johanna was already sitting eating a sandwich and soup for her lunch.

"Ah, there's the little love birds!" she grinned and gave us each a once over. "Look at you! You guys look great, even better now that I've seen you in clothes again." She winked and Peeta and I both turned red instantly.

"Johanna, be nice." A soft voice called from behind us and we turned in time to see Annie Odair coming around the corner into the room with a little pudgy baby propped on her shoulder.

Peeta smiled and stepped forward first, wrapping an arm around Annie's other shoulder and giving her a gentle hug so as not to startle the baby. "Annie, you look wonderful." He murmured and blushed when she kissed his cheek and told him he was getting more handsome every time she saw him. I stood with my feet frozen to the floor as I watched her slide the baby down into the crook of her arm and I came face to face with Finnick's son.

"Hey little guy." Peeta cooed and offered the wide-eyed baby his finger to hold. Little Zale startled slightly at Peeta's voice and began to whimper.

"I'm sorry, Peeta, male voices aren't very familiar to him, he's mostly just used to hearing me speak." Annie explained with a sad smile. Peeta nodded and wiggled his finger at the baby without speaking and Zale's little brow furrowed as he focused as hard as he could on the finger and then grabbed it with a grunt. He gave Peeta's finger only a cursory once over before proceeding to try and stuff it in his mouth.

Peeta and Annie both chuckled and without even asking if he would be comfortable with it, Annie transferred the baby into Peeta's arms. She clearly knew a natural when she saw one. Peeta tucked the baby comfortably into his arms and rocked him from side to side.

"Hey buddy, you sure are cute aren't you?" He cooed and the baby stared up at Peeta with his big green eyes as he continued sucking his finger. Annie kissed the baby's head reverently and then turned to me and smiled with tears shining in her eyes.

"Katniss, it's so good to…to see you." She stammered. I could understand her timidity around me. Her husband had died protecting me. I was the last person to see him alive and the first to see him dead.

"He's beautiful, Annie." I said stepping forward and wrapping her in a hug which she surprisingly returned with a tight one of her own.

"He is isn't he?" She chuckled and pulled back to look over at her little boy. "Besides Finn, he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Sometimes it feels as if I haven't lost him at all when I look at Zale and everything about him reminds me of his father." She whispered and I reached out to hold her hand as we watched Peeta lift the baby to his shoulder and rub his cheek against his fuzzy bronze head.

"Yeah, well I sure hope he isn't as loud as his father could be when he wanted, remember I'm in the room right next to yours." Johanna said with a smirk and slurped a spoonful of soup into her mouth.

Annie grinned. "I'll be sure to wake you up so I have company during his 3 a.m. feeding, Johanna. Don't worry, I know you don't like to miss anything that's going on." She teased and Johanna rolled her eyes but then smiled slowly and turned her attention to Peeta and I.

"Speaking of not missing anything that's going on…it was pretty damn hard to miss what was going on in Peeta and Katniss' room when we got here." She started as we all moved to the table to sit for lunch and Peeta kept a hold of the baby.

"Don't be crass, Johanna, Peeta and Katniss didn't come down to lunch to have you tease them about their relationship and it's none of your, my or the baby's business what goes on inside their bedroom." Annie scolded and Johanna sat back in her chair with a pout.

"Oh come on," Johanna said glancing over at the baby where he lay back in the crook of one of Peeta's arms. "He doesn't know what the hell we're talking about!"

Annie frowned and took a few slices of sandwich for herself and filled a bowl with soup. "Still, it's improper. You should be ashamed of yourself." She clucked and Peeta and I both chuckled as we made our own plates.

"Oh boy," Johanna sighed and reached for another slice of sandwich from the platter in the middle of the table. "This is gonna be a swell week in dullsville with you people." She mumbled and sat back down.

"Do you want me to take him back so you can eat, Peeta?" Annie asked and Peeta waved her off. "No, no I'm fine." He said holding the baby up in front of him and chuckling when his little legs kicked like a frog. "He's great, Annie." He smiled and laughed again when the baby smiled toothlessly back at him.

Annie cut her eyes over at me in the chair beside Peeta when she noticed I was making a point of not looking at Peeta with the baby. She didn't say anything but I sensed she knew exactly what was making me so uncomfortable and that she'd be having a conversation with me in the not so distant future about it.

During lunch, we all caught up on what we'd been doing since we'd seen each other in the last year. Zale was passed back and forth and I even held him and earned a smile for my trouble when I made silly faces for him.

When we'd finished, Annie said she was going to feed the baby and put him down for his afternoon nap. She and Johanna showed us their room and Annie raved about the beautiful crib that had been brought into her room for the baby.

"It even has a seashell mobile above it like the one he's got at home!" She said settling into a chair by the window and discreetly fixing her shirt for the baby to eat. I was the only with her as Peeta and Johanna had wandered off together to explore the rest of the rooms a few minutes earlier.

I walked around the room looking at the décor as compared to what was in our room. There were pictures of the beach on every wall and a small framed photo from Annie and Finnick's wedding that I was sure she had brought with her sat on the bedside table. I picked up a little stuffed animal crab and smiled as I ran my fingers over it.

"Peeta was wonderful with him today." Annie said suddenly and I turned my head to see her smiling down at the baby. I took a deep breath and tried to make my face neutral when she glanced up from Zale eating to look at me.

I shrugged. "Yeah, he's pretty good with kids. Sneaks the ones who come in the bakery free treats, runs a baking class for them on some weekends." I said casually and picked up a trinket from the dresser, inspecting it closer than was probably necessary.

"Do you guys talk about having kids at all?" She asked with a soft smile and I moved over to look out her window at the city.

"We're still only 19…" I said evasively, not really answering her question and folded my arms over my chest defensively. I knew it was just her attempt at girl talk, but unfortunately she didn't know that was an area I wasn't particularly strong in or that the thought of having children still sort of terrified me.

"That's true, you're still very young…" She said cooing to the baby. "I would never have thought I wanted Zale when I was 19 even though I was with Finn for 2 years already by then. I worried so much about the…the Hunger Games and I couldn't imagine sending a child of my own into the reaping after what I had been through in mine, and…and what Finnick had to…do after his."

She stopped and started a few times and when she made a veiled allusion to Finnick's prostitution at the hands of the Capitol, I saw a pain in her eyes that made me sure she knew exactly what happened each time he was called to the Capitol.

"Weren't you scared when you found out you were pregnant?" I asked knowing that it was only shortly after Finnick died that she discovered she was carrying his child.

Annie smiled and looked back down at the baby. "I was…at first." She said stroking Zale's pudgy cheek as he nursed. "But then I realized it meant a piece of Finnick would live on through his son. That I would look at him, and I would be sad…but I would also be so happy to have been given this final gift from him. And that was something no one would be able to take from us. They may have taken Finnick from me, but we won in the end because when the Capitol fell, I had my freedom and a child growing inside of me whose name would never go on a slip of paper into the reaping bowl." She tickled the bottom of one of his little feet and the baby pulled his feet up to his belly.

I wasn't entirely sure what Annie meant or that I even agreed with what I did understand of her explanation, but I could see so clearly that she believed with all of her heart that her child would be safe. That his father's sacrifice had created a better life for him. Isn't that what any parent would do for their child in that world my father spoke of during our trips beyond the fence? Were we finally now living in such a world?

I nodded when Annie looked up at me and she smiled a secret smile I suspected only another parent would be able to interpret.

"Well, like you said…" she whispered as the baby nodded off to sleep and she stood to place him in the crib. "…you're only 19. Things change." She said touching the seashell moble to make it spin slowly over her sleeping child.

It is only now, as a parent myself, that I recognize what that look in Annie's eyes had been all those years ago. It was something that I hadn't seen very much of in a young life spent under the rule of the Capitol.

It was hope.

I left Annie and baby Zale to rest up for the welcome banquet that would be held in the evening and went back to Peeta and my room to see if he was there. He wasn't, but there were two dressing bags hanging from one of the beams of the canopy bed. I approached them curiously, glancing around the room to make sure I was alone.

I unzipped one and found a beautiful dark blue suit for Peeta that I remembered from his wardrobe during the Victory Tour and in the other, I found one of Cinna's beautiful works of art in a black velvet dress with a white fur wrap. I touched the material as tears suddenly streamed down my cheeks and I closed my eyes to try and chase away yet another ghost of my past.

I wiped my eyes and dropped onto the bed, curling up with my back to the clothes and falling into a fitful sleep.

When I woke up later, Peeta was asleep beside me on the bed and by the looks of him, he'd been there for a while. I was impressed that I hadn't even woken up when he came in. I stretched and yawned, leaning over to kiss his elbow where it peeked out from under the pillow he had his arms wrapped around.

Peeta's eyes fluttered open and he rubbed his face into his pillow with a yawn. "Hey, sleep well?" He asked lifting his head to look at me. I was momentarily distracted by just how good he looked all sleepy and disheveled and felt my cheeks flush when he grinned at me.

"Yeah, I did, how about you?" I asked cuddling closer to him and kissing his chest when he wrapped me in his arms.

He told me about his travels around the building with Johanna and that he had told her to give it a rest with the sexual innuendo. She had reluctantly agreed to ease up and he suspected the rest of our visit was going to be much more comfortable.

"Good, though I am still horrified that she was listening to us this morning." I mumbled grumpily and Peeta laughed and tilted his chin down to capture my lips.

"Don't be…she was probably just jealous of how much fun we sounded like we were having." He whispered and deepened the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, melting into his arms until an intercom I hadn't noticed beside the bedroom door came on with a crackle. Avitus announced that Effie and Haymitch had arrived and that Effie 'certainly hoped we had begun dressing for the banquet this evening'.

Peeta and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. "Glad to know some things never change…" Peeta chuckled and climbed off of the bed after one more kiss.

Peeta shaved in the bathroom while I laid out our clothes and flat ironed my hair because it was about all I knew how to do from memories of watching my prep team work. I was standing in front of the mirror holding the necklace with my pearl on it up to latch around my neck when Peeta came up behind me and gently took it from my hands and latched it himself.

"You look beautiful." He whispered kissing the back of my neck and reaching down to settle a hand on my tailbone where the zipper on my dress began. He slowly pulled it up until it stopped between my shoulder blades and then kissed the spot lightly.

"Thank you." I smiled at him in the mirror and turned around to face him. "Strapless in the winter isn't the best idea, but the wrap should keep me warm…" I said smoothing my hands over my hips to straighten it out.

Peeta had pulled on the pants, socks and shoes of his suit and was reaching for the crisp white dress shirt to put on next. He shrugged into it and I reached out to pull him closer, bringing one of his arms up between us and buttoning the sleeve for him and then reaching for his other arm to do the same. While he was tucking the tails of the shirt into his pants and zipping up, I grabbed the jacket to his suit and held it up for him.

"Thanks….you ready to do this?" he asked pulling me forward and resting his forehead to mine. I took a deep breath and pulled back to look into his eyes as I offered him one hand, holding the wrap with the other.

"Together?" I asked and Peeta placed his hand in mine.

"Together." He nodded and leaned in for one more kiss…just as the intercom crackled to life again and we were treated to a belligerent Haymitch hollering at us.

"Boy, you better get off of her and both of you get your asses down here RIGHT quick so we can leave for this silly banquet where there better be PLENTY of alcohol waiting for me!"

Peeta and I looked at each other and burst out laughing as I slipped into my heels and we headed for the door.

"I missed him." I said when Peeta opened the door for me and I stepped out into the hall.

"Me too, me too." he said and linked his arm with mine as we headed for the large staircase to the first floor.

To be continued…