Interlude 2
"You…you watch that one there now Finn! He's got a nasty bite on him!" Haymitch bellowing at my son pulls me out of yet another memory of days past and I sit up from where I have been lying on a blanket in his backyard. My eyes search every corner of the fenced in space quickly as I try to see where my toddler son is and what kind of trouble he's getting himself into now.
Peeta loves having children and he's stuck to that promise to keep our family safe to the best of his ability, but he didn't count on the fact that once they start walking, children develop a habit of trying to find certain death around every corner. It's a wonder either of us survived one child becoming mobile not to mention a second one.
I start to call out to the little boy when I see him chasing down a large goose with the kind of determination that usually ends in scraped knees and tears, when the bird suddenly turns on him and pecks him right in his upper thigh. Finn drops to his bottom in the grass with a look of complete and utter shock. I'd laugh at the expression on his face except that I know a wailing cry isn't far behind.
"Oh no, Finn!" My beautiful little girl suddenly comes running across the yard from the rock garden where she has been searching for 'extra special beautiful stones' to keep as treasures. She's wearing a little sundress that flows around her as she runs barefoot through the grass to his side.
When he realizes that he has the undivided attention of everyone in the yard, Finn's face screws up and he begins to scream, even throwing himself on his back to add a little spark of drama to the situation.
Haymitch chuckles from where he is sitting beside me in a large comfy lawn chair and shakes his head. "He's a real piece of work that one." He says nodding towards the children. "Better go save him before the police come and investigate us for child abuse." He grins at me and I sigh and climb to my feet.
"It just encourages him when we pay attention to this you know…" I mutter as I stroll over to the scene my little boy is so noisily making. Bow is beside herself trying to sooth her best buddy, stroking his blonde curls out of his eyes, hugging and kissing him, but he's having none of it. It isn't until I'm about 5 feet away that I can make out who my son is howling for.
"Da-dee! I w…w…wan' my Da-dee!" He wails nearing hysterics and I scoop him up and hug him close.
"N…no! M…my DA-DEE!" Finn screams and does what we refer to around the house as the 'croissant' (because the shape of his body when he arches his back to get away from your grip bears a striking resemblance to the pastry we sell in our bakery) as I try to carry him back over to the blanket where his toys are scattered around on the grass.
I try pulling up the leg of his shorts, which are the only thing besides his diaper that he has allowed me to put on him on this humid summer day, as he continues to kick and scream. I finally manage to angle him towards Haymitch so he can tell me if there's any marks that need immediate attention. When he waves a hand at me indicating that Finn is fine, I do the only thing I can, which is place him in the middle of the blanket where he can't hurt himself or anyone else and let him cry.
"You come up here with Paw-Paw little man, I'll take a look at the ouchie that mean old goose gave you." Haymitch offers and holds his hands out to Finn. Bow, who has followed me back to the blanket, quietly walks over to the chair Haymitch is in and climbs into his lap wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I want Daddy too…" She whimpers into his chest and Haymitch looks up at me startled and starts patting Bow's back and stroking his hand over the back of her head.
"Ahh…don't cry little Sweetheart…" He coos and wraps Bow up in his arms as she really begins to cry. I bring both hands to my face for a moment and dig the heels of my hands into my eyes.
I wish I could say this is the first time my children have fallen apart while Peeta is 'gone' during an episode, but it's not. Bow, who has always been a Daddy's girl, was devastated at about 2 and a half when Peeta spent 3 days in the bedroom with the red X on the door. She found it impossible to understand that her Daddy was home but couldn't hold her or play with her, or make her cookies.
I had to send her to Haymitch for one of the nights and the other, I spent cramped and exhausted curled up in her little toddler bed with her. It hadn't helped that I was also in the beginning of my second trimester carrying Finn.
As I pull my hands away from my eyes and try my damndest to force that brave face back into position, I see Haymitch looking over at the upstairs windows of my house and know Peeta must be there looking out at us. If I turn, I'll see him and the sadness that comes with each awful, devastating visit from that red letter on the doorknob and so I don't.
Instead, I kneel down next to my son who is still weeping for his father, remove my pearl necklace and slip it over his tiny head. He stills when he feels the weight of it around his neck and sits up slowly, his breaths coming in short gasps and his face as red as the apples that grow on the trees behind our home in the fall.
I gasp and smile down at him, wagging my eyebrows with a fake excitement I hope I can sell him on.
"Oh my goodness, what do you have Finn?" I whisper and he brings a hand up to touch the rough braided metal of the chain, sliding his fingers down both sides of his neck until they reach the pearl. He pulls it out from his chest to get a better look at it as his breaths even out slightly.
"Pearl." He croaks and smiles up at me sadly, his gray eyes mirroring the sadness in my own. I nod and reach out to stroke one of his hot little cheeks and he leans into my touch enough that I chance reaching for him.
"Yes, that's our pearl, right?" I whisper and scoop him up into my lap as I sit down on the blanket. "I can share it with you if you can calm down and be a big, big boy." I whisper beside his ear and Finn snuggles into my chest with a deep sigh.
"My Da…Da-dee…" he whimpers rubbing his shaggy hair with the hand not holding the pearl and looks up at me with tears welling in his eyes once more. I don't try to hide my own this time, thinking maybe it will help him to feel less alone if he knows that his mommy is missing Daddy just as much.
"I know baby, I miss him too…" I say and hug him close. I glance at Haymitch and Bow over Finn's head and see that my little girl is watching us with her head tucked safely under her Paw-Paw's chin. Tear tracks stain her cheeks and she is methodically stroking a piece of Haymitch's graying, chin-length hair.
"You wanna hear a secret?" I ask both children in a loud whisper and they nod their heads slowly. "After Daddy gave me this pearl, he…went away for a little and I was sooooo sad." I begin and both children hang on my every word. Haymitch leans his head back on the headrest of the chair as he continues to comfort Bow and his eyes flit back to the window of my house so I know Peeta must still be there.
"He came back though, right Mama?" Bow asks nervously and I smile.
"Of course he did baby, he always does, doesn't he?" I ask and she nods slowly once more. "Well, while he was gone, I used to kiss this pearl…" I say reaching out to touch the little iridescent ball hanging almost to Finn's belly. "…and pretend it was Daddy's lips." I say with an animated 'silly mommy smile' and Bow giggles.
"You kiss Daddy a lot." She says through another peal of giggles.
"Yes, yes she does." Haymitch smirks and I make sure to give him a quick disapproving look before I turn my attention back to my story.
"Anyway…" I continue. "kissing the pearl was like a magic trick! I still missed Daddy but I felt a little better when I kissed it and it helped me remember that he would be with me again soon." I explain and Bow finally lifts her head and wipes her eyes with the backs of her hands.
"Can I try it?" She asks climbing down from Haymitch's lap after pecking him on the cheek in thanks for his comfort.
I nod and open my arms to her as she comes to sit in my lap, her legs overlapping her brother's as they squirm around to find enough room that they both can share. She reaches out to lift the pearl away from Finn's chest and he hunches his shoulders with a giggle as she leans in with eyes closed to kiss the little piece of jewelry.
When she pulls back, Bow smiles softly and holds the pearl up between her face and Finn's. "Your turn Finn-y!" She urges excitedly and Finn smiles shyly before quickly leaning forward and kissing the pearl. As soon as he pulls back, he flips over in my arms and buries his head shyly in my neck.
"And now you Mommy! Now you!" Bow claps and I take my turn kissing Peeta's pearl.
When I pull back, I look down into Bow's beautiful blue eyes and she looks excitedly around in anticipation of this 'magic' happening soon.
"So? What do you think? Do you feel better?" I ask as Bow looks around and my breath catches in my throat when I see her gaze stop on our house and her spine stiffen. A slow smile graces her little face and she nods slowly and waves to her father in the window.
I feel a single tear slide down my cheek and I can't help it this time, I turn my head and look up at the window too. I see my Peeta there, standing at the window with one hand pressed to the glass. In his mid thirties now, he is no longer the baby-faced boy from the memories I have been having all day, but he is still just as, if not more handsome now as the man he's grown into. Finn still has his head buried in my chest so I chance blowing a quick kiss Peeta's way. He closes his hand against the window and Bow and I watch as he brings the imaginary kiss to his chest and presses it over his heart.
"I feel better Mommy…I think the magic worked." Bow whispers and lies her head on my chest beside her brother's.
"I think so too baby." I whisper and look over at Haymitch who is taking a long drag off of a flask which he then caps with a sigh.