Disclaimer: Don't own and don't make money from HTTYD!

Ben Nevis is a mountain in Scotland, near Fort William. Apparently it's a good climb.

Thank you so much to all!

Enjoy.

Misdirection

Gobber was so dead.

Hiccup seethed inwardly as he drove, still reeling from the boxes of goddamn condoms that magically appeared in his car. Astrid had ignored his frantic excuses on how they weren't his. Instead, she had smirked at him and flirted.

Did that mean…was she trying to signal something?

Hiccup fall back on the headrest as they waited in traffic. Gentle country played on his stereo thanks to the CD Astrid picked, filling the silence with the southern drawl of the singer. He knew Astrid liked him – or at least was interested in starting something. Given their mutual confessions, make out on his couch, and intimate moments of emotional bonding, Hiccup theoretically guessed that there was no reason to worry.

Until she turned off the music and shot a bored look in his direction. "These lights are taking forever." She complained. "How far away is the place?"

"Not that long." Hiccup reassured her. "Only ten minute drive from here."

"Good." Her long legs switched over slowly, leaving Hiccup staring at their length instead of at the road. "God, it's so hot in here."

He tore his eyes away from her supple thighs. "I'll turn the air conditioning on."

"Oh, don't bother – the heat feels good."

Hiccup admitted to himself that he was surprised – Astrid didn't tend to act this way; even when they were alone on the couch she wasn't this…contradictory. Her tone was bored, bordering on rude; but her words were flirtatious, brazen even. Gobber's words flashed in his head.

If she's aggressive, she won't be keen.

As Hiccup parked up his small car, he ignored her impatient strumming on the windowsill. If what Gobber said was true, then did that mean Astrid was being overly pretentious to subtly let him know she wasn't looking for more tonight?

Astrid sighed and opened the door, leaving him with a suggestive parting shot. "Let's get going – I love big surprises."

Astrid's face was red even as she choked out the flirtatious comment. God, she felt like a hussy, coming at Hiccup with all these innuendos. She wished she hadn't followed Ruff's advice – or she didn't until she caught how Hiccup eyed her as she strutted in front of him. A burst of confidence followed by a warm glow of pleasure that he was appreciating her erupted in her chest. Maybe it was working. He had bought all those condoms. The thought of his warm hands on her thighs made her almost stumble with how much she lost her breath. This…could work. All she had to do was to be as forthright as possible – he couldn't possibly miss the signs.

Astrid was brought out of her trance as soon as they walked through the doors – loud music and plastic clacks against metal reached her ears. Unwittingly, a nostalgic smile came to her face.

"Bowling?"

Hiccup brightened at her obvious interest. "It's a nice, violent activity that doesn't involve you assaulting me." Pleased, he strode next to her with all the grace of a jungle cat. Despite his prosthetic, his stride was strong and graceful. They made small talk as he purchased tickets, shoes and a lane, even joking about the horrendous spray the counter assistant sprayed in their shoes.

It was only when Astrid laughed hard at a comment Hiccup made about another customer next to them that she realised she was having fun. So lost had she been in just enjoying her time, she hadn't noticed how half an hour had bled away, decreasing her chances of subtly letting Hiccup know she was okay with taking things further.

She hadn't felt this strongly about someone since Jake. Even now, desire tingled through her at the most inopportune moments. The way he bowled was definitely something to watch – like him, his movements were confidently clumsy with a tinge of self awareness. It made her hot all over.

Astrid was slightly annoyed at her body's reaction. Seriously? Years of being fine with her laptop paled in comparison with what she was feeling now. Some part of her was horrified. The other screamed why wait? And suggested various ways to invite him into the bungalow later.

Well. Astrid supposed this was a normal part of puberty – a couple years late.

"Want a ball?"

Hiccup yet again brought her back from her enticing thoughts. Coming to, she brushed her fingers across his chest as she pretended to consider her choices. She felt his heartbeat fluttering against her hand. It made her bold; spurred on by his racing heart.

"I love balls." The comment fell out of her mouth awkwardly. "Which ones are yours?"

If she could get hit with a bowling ball from the overexcited man in the aisle next to them, that would be great.

She must really not be having fun.

That thought came seconds before Astrid slammed into his cart with all the strength of a raging bull; knocking him forcefully to the side and making his prosthetic actually ring along with the cart on impact.

"Sorry!" Her cheeky apology still made him smile. Another pause, then she called out in a lower register. "Do you not like it hard?"

Her comment made him grit his teeth. She'd been like this since he picked her up. For the most part, they laughed a storm along with their usual banter. But then there were moments like this, where she was so blatant and so unlike herself he wasn't sure what she really meant. It was almost like she was reminding herself to do so.

A thought struck his head as he watched her back up and spin back around the track, eager to build up speed to bump into him again. Maybe…maybe someone told her to do this?

As her cart connected with his, Hiccup met her eyes and saw the exhilaration present; uncontrollable smiles and high pitched laughter exploding out of her at the collision. She looked like herself. Violent. Engaging. In control. But he saw that snuff out at the unsure expression that slipped onto her face, shortly before she winked at him. "You must really love getting rammed."

"Um...I wouldn't know, really."

His comment took her by surprise. Red tinted her cheeks even as she shot him a cool look, reversing with practised movements away from his cart. "Shame," Her voice was light. "Good thing I'm here."

Hiccup wondered, half heartedly, why the idea of her being in control made his pulse race.

Crunch time came at dinner.

Astrid had been bouncing between easy banter and solicitous behaviour so much she felt like she had a split personality. Even the one glass of wine she ordered had been downed within ten minutes of her endless propositioning. She didn't feel like herself. Ruff was wrong – she didn't feel empowered. She felt vindictive.

And it wasn't even working. Hiccup treated her with the same familiar mocking banter; nothing outward that showed his obvious interest. Apart from his one ramming comment, she hadn't picked up anything to indicate he had understood her not so subtle signs. Astrid sighed and tilted her empty glass. She shouldn't have tried to push this. He probably didn't really want to sleep with her tonight – especially not with her acting like she'd taken Viagra and then watched porn before she'd come out.

"Astrid?"

She hummed and looked up, curious. "What's up?"

If anything, Hiccup looked worried. "Are you…alright?" He managed. "You've not really been yourself tonight."

"What do you mean?" Astrid pleaded ignorance and lifted her glass to her lips, remembering a second too late that it was empty. "I'm fine."

Green eyes scrunched in confusion from across the table. "You're lying." He pointed out. Astrid refused to meet his eyes and focused on the intricate tablecloth instead. She heard him sigh, and then surprisingly, let out a laugh.

"Wow. Reticent Astrid – never thought I'd see the day."

"Don't get used to it." She snapped back. His eyes flared with amusement instead of hurt at her comment.

"There you are."

"I never left?" Astrid was a little confused at his words. "Hiccup, I'm good."

"Then why have you been acting fine one minute, then seriously…ah, aggressive the next?"

She couldn't help it. She felt embarrassment paint her cheeks once more; clearly displaying her guilt. Red was obviously the colour of the night. She was lucky a waiter came by to offer more wine; she was gagging for some sort of distraction.

"Well, I figured you'd want more of an aggressive personality tonight." She decided a half truth would work. "I mean, we're adults here. We know what's going to happen. No need to beat around the bush."

The returning blush from Hiccup was worth the prickles of mental torture she put herself through. It made her hopeful that she was really right.

"I guess I took some advice from Ruff." She eventually admitted. Hiccup's eyes darted up to meet hers. She could melt in those green orbs. "I haven't dated…well, since high school." Faint feelings of shame crept in. "I wanted to make sure this was what you wanted."

"Advice from Ruff?" Hiccup squeaked. His face morphed into a twisted version of a grimace before his head dropped into his hands. Those broad shoulders shook as he gasped into his fingers.

By this point, Astrid was mortified and terrified. Either Hiccup was crying or having a heart attack – she wasn't sure which one she'd prefer at this point. But when he lifted his head; eyes sparkling, teeth bared in a still chortling grin – she realised he was laughing.

"Oh, gods." As Astrid stared with growing impatience, Hiccup kept breathing giggles through his attempts to close his mouth. "Ruff told you to be all aggressive? Man, no wonder. I was worried you weren't having fun at all."

"I was!" Astrid grabbed one of his fingers in efforts to reassure him. Or to break it if he laughed again, she wasn't too fussy. "I mean, I am. I just got carried away. The condoms in the car didn't help."

"Gobber." Hiccup almost snarled the name. "He did that."

"Oh."

Astrid wasn't sure how to approach Hiccup's reaction to her behaviour. He wasn't mad she was following advice from the most aggressive woman on earth – but nor was he leaping to his feet and declaring his loins were on fire. Her internal passions ebbed away at the realisation. This wasn't truly about sex for Hiccup. It wasn't for her either – but she'd been so overwhelmed by Ruff's advice, then those condoms, she'd panicked. This was their time. They didn't have to rush.

With that, Astrid put a firm lid on her out of control libido; sealing it away until the right moment. She imagined a taller, more voluptuous version of herself being locked in a cage; crying out at the injustice while simultaneously seducing the guard to get his keys. The fact her imaginary self was still resourceful made her smile.

She turned her attention back to a still seething Hiccup. "Well, that's good." She shrugged lightly and changed her grip to a gentle handhold.

"Good?"

He didn't get her drift. "Yeah – condoms are expensive. Good call."

The embarrassed ducking of his head made her smile. This was what she'd been wanting. Where she was in control not because of her power over Hiccup – but of his willingness to submit. The idea teased her with other suggestions of how she could make that useful, but she ignored it and shoved them next to the pouting libido after her unsuccessful jailbreak.

"Y-yeah." Hiccup agreed. He watched their entwined hands with a small smile. "Not like we'd use all of them anyway."

Astrid stared somewhat nonplussed at Hiccup; desperately trying to decipher his soft face. "Not on the same day, probably not."

He snorted in return. "You totally have sex on the brain. Don't blame Ruff for all of that."

"Hey!"

"Look, all I'm saying is; you're sexy, I'm adorable as hell – we didn't stand a chance."

Looking into those green pools, she saw humour fill them to the brim and spill out to form a cocky grin on his cheeks. Automatically her lips answered, and they were both smiling like idiots at the other until a waiter coughed awkwardly between them.

"Um…sir? Your dinner dish?"

"Oh good; I was getting hungry." Hiccup sighed contentedly as his stew was placed in front of him. He caught Astrid's raised eyebrows and smirked right back. "Hungry for yooou." He blew kisses in her direction.

"Ew. Boy cooties."

"You love me really."

"Not all of you."

"Aw." Hiccup feigned a hurt look over his spoonful of broth. "What parts do you like, then?"

"I haven't decided. Your prosthetic take batteries?"

As if the universe had decided their date wasn't awkward enough, Astrid was spat in the face with a mouthful of warm chicken broth. After the initial shrieking scramble of napkins and apologies, she was met with a humiliated Hiccup offering her a black hanky.

"I am so sorry."

"It's fine." Astrid sniffed her top discreetly as she dabbed it with the black cloth. Hopefully it wouldn't stain. "I've had worse things on my face."

The waiter who at that moment had returned to bring Astrid her meal stumbled and emptied one slab of the steak onto her lap.

Again, apologies and napkins were utilised. Astrid was half tempted at this point to just pour her wine over her skirt to go the full hog. Hiccup was restraining himself from laughing, and only shook harder at the venomous glare she sent him from over her meal.

"I'm sorry." His tone was anything but.

"But...I suppose you could say…the waiter made a…misteak?"

Astrid's eye twitched.

As Hiccup paid the bill later, drenched from the ice-cream she'd later turned over onto his lap, she couldn't help but snort at the looks the other patrons were giving them. Screw them all. She felt like she could waltz to the car and still have the energy to climb Ben Nevis. Hiccup's resounding grin at holding her arm and escorting her out like an upper class gentleman made her giggle spasmodically as they exited the premises.

"Well. That went well."

"Perfect." Astrid finally glanced down at her ruined outfit. "Next time, let's not pour food over eachother."

"You got it. You plan it, next time then."

"Why not? Sounds great."

Astrid only realised as she was clambering into the car that she had agreed to another date. This didn't repulse her in any way. In fact – and her libido agreed – this could be good.

"You want to watch a movie at mine?"

The proposal sounded innocent enough – had Astrid not followed it up with the mental image of Hiccup lying on her couch in his boxers, having ruined his outfit due to the ice cream. She hadn't intended on seeing him again so soon, but libido Astrid cheered her on.

If he was uncertain about her invitation, he didn't say. Instead, he gave thumbs up and started the engine, absently whistling one of the commands for Toothless. Astrid relaxed at his pleasant whistling and lazily followed the movements of his hands with her eyes, feeling slightly sleepy under the blanket of darkness and the warmth in the car.

It had turned out all right in the end – it only took being herself to right things. She was an idiot for considering otherwise – although the corner of her mouth twitched at the memory of their technical food fight.

She almost hoped Ruff was home.

Thank you all.