A man in a weird green suit hovered over me. He was looking fancy, with a funny cane and a top hat. Wasn't Penguin, too tall and skinny.
"Riddler?" I pointer at him.
"Intelligent deduction. My reputation precedes me." He grinned at me.
Ivy stroked my hair. My head was on her lap.
"Here to see Joker?"
"Nope. Here to see you!" He pointed the cane at me. "You should feel honored!"
"Why?" I sat up.
"Because everyone thinks you need some cheering up!"
"No, I meant why should I feel honored?" I rolled my eyes.
His smile faltered. "Why, a man of my genius should never waste time!"
"Far as I know, you aren't actually doing anything with your intellect. Whereas Ivy isn't a 'genius' and she's doing far more with plants than you are." I pointed out.
"Cute." He frowned, but then his smile picked right back up. "What's the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end and the end of every race?"
"Oh, we're doing riddles now? I thought I was being cute."
"I am the Riddler, after all!" He cheered. "But don't worry if you can't—"
"The letter E." I answered.
His grin froze on his face. "Very good!" He actually looked somewhat impressed. "Now, when is a new car considered to be seedy?"
"When it's a lemon."
"Why is silk like grass?"
I paused. He thought he had gotten me. "You measure both by the yard?"
"You're pretty clever!"
His cheering was so fake. He would much rather have been berating me for taking so long to answer a riddle, I was certain. But Rex had probably put him up to it.
"What letter is never received in the alphabet?"
"Uh, the kind that goes to the post office?"
"Correct! When is a prizefight like a beautiful lady?"
"When it's a knockout." I nodded.
"Another one!"
"Why does a cowboy wear a belt?" I questioned.
"To hold up his pants, of course!" His smile barely gave away his interest in my challenge.
"When is a man a stupid relative?"
His smile faltered. "When he's a mannequin. A simple dress shop dummy."
"What do you find in the kitchen cabinet that is not alive?" I stared at him.
"A deadpan. Ba-dum-tiss!" He spread his arms wide.
"A hill-full, a hole-full, you cannot catch a bowl full. What am I?"
"Fog." He didn't look so certain.
"Correct. Last one: I'm only one color, but not one size, stuck on the bottom and yet I can fly. Present in sun, but not when it rains, doing no harm and feeling no pain. What am I, Riddler?"
"Er…"
"Come on, surely a man of your intellect can figure that one out. I figured that one out when I was like five." I crossed my arms.
"Give me a minute." He defended himself. "It's not like I'm running on a lot of sleep! Joker had me up all night coming up with traps!"
"But you're a genius, Mister Riddler!" I argued. "You can figure out anything!"
Rex walked into the room. "Why's the puzzle guy's face red?"
"Harmony gave him a riddle." Ivy explained.
"What, he didn't figure it out by now? How long has he been at it? Riddler, don't hurt your head. Pops still needs you for a few things." Rex joked.
"Only one color…" Riddler focused on the riddle and ignored Rex.
"Puzzle dude, Pops needs you."
"I'm going out." I stood and stretched like a pleased cat. Dumbass was so egotistical he couldn't figure it out. He was more concerned about being seen as more intelligent.
"Wait!" Riddler waved his cane at me while I walked out the door.
I ignored him, choosing instead to adjust my scarf. It was so high up it covered my nose as well. Stupid, ignorant genius.