Do You Mind? Chapter 5
Toothless led them straight to a small brook. They all drank deeply – something in the air made them very thirsty. Then they walked upstream, following the sound of a waterfall, until they came to a cliff, about sixty feet high. Their brook was tumbling off the top of the cliff into a shallow pool at the base. Behind the waterfall, Hiccup found a narrow cave.
"There's no sign of it being an animal den, so I think it's safe for us to use," he decided. "Now we've got water and shelter. We can live without food for a few days if we have to, but we still have a few hours to look for something to eat before we lose the sunlight."
"Should we split up?" Ruff asked.
"Absolutely not," Hiccup replied. "If the plant eaters around here are as big as that thing we saw, then the meat-eaters must be at least that big, maybe bigger. I think I'm right about us being able to train them, but I'm not ready to bet my life on it, or yours. All three of us need to stay together."
They wandered around the countryside, not wanting to get too far from their cave. They found a tree with some interesting-looking fruit, but Toothless took one sniff and made his I-don't-like-eels face.
"No good?"
"That's disgusting!"
Maybe it wasn't so bad for humans, but they decided not to take a chance on it. Nothing else they found even looked edible. They trudged back to the cave, discouraged and hungry.
The daylight began fading quickly. "Toothless, stay near the cave and keep us safe, okay?" Hiccup asked as they entered the cave for the night.
"I'll do that. It's not like I can fly away."
"I know. Thanks, bud."
The cave was about five feet wide at the entrance, and got narrower as it went deeper. "You sleep down there, and I'll stay near the entrance so I can hear Toothless think at me if something happens," Hiccup suggested. She nodded and sat on the floor, leaning back against the cave wall.
The sun set quickly in this misty mountain valley, and once it had gone down, there was no light at all. None. Hiccup literally couldn't see his hand in front of his face. "I don't think I've ever seen anything as dark as this," he said.
"Does it scare you?" came Ruff's voice from the nearby blackness.
"No, it's just the dark," he replied. "It doesn't bother me. How about you?"
He heard her snort. "There's only one thing that scares me, and you'll never guess what it is."
"I've seen you and your brother in action," Hiccup said. "I'm surprised there's anything that scares you."
"Like I said, nothing scares me as long as he's with me," she replied.
"So... that would mean that the one thing you're afraid of, would be... being alone?"
She inhaled sharply. "If you ever breathe a word about this to anyone –"
"My lips are sealed!" he exclaimed. "As far as I'm concerned, you're afraid of nothing. Besides, that's not a fear that can affect you very often, right? You're always with your brother, and you're sure to get married some day soon –"
"Yeah, right," she scoffed.
"You don't think so? You're the right age, and the boys outnumber the girls in this town, so you have lots of prospects."
"Hiccup, look at me! Well, you can't look at me, it's too dark. But you know what I look like! I've got no face, I've got no figure, I've got no money... the only thing I've got is a twin brother who gives the thumbs-down to every boy I've ever met! 'He's not good enough for you, Ruff.' 'You can do better than him, Ruff.' If he has his way, I'll die an old maid! Which is probably what's going to happen anyway." He thought he heard her sniffle.
He slid, a few inches at a time, toward her in the blackness, hoping that his outstretched hands would land on her shoulder or her arm and not on someplace embarrassing. He found one of her braids, which let him rest one hand on her shoulder. "Ruff... you don't know what the future holds! You've got a lot more going for you than you think!"
"Name something," she whispered.
"Okay, well... I've never seen you with your hair let down, but I bet it looks gorgeous. It's a nice shade of blonde, and you've got a lot of it, and it's very long."
"What's the big deal about that?"
"I guess you didn't get the memo," he said quietly. "Guys like long hair on girls. No one knows why; we just do."
After a few seconds, she said, "Name something else."
"I bet you've got a pretty smile, but you never use it," he thought out loud.
"Anything else?"
"You're honest," he said. "That can be hard to find, sometimes. You're also brave, and you're not afraid to be yourself."
"Do you mean that stuff?"
"Every word of it," he replied. "I wouldn't look you in the eyes and lie, even though I can't see your eyes."
He felt her rest her hand on his. "Thanks, Hiccup. You're special."
"I've been called worse," he shrugged. "Shall we try to get some sleep?"
"I guess," she answered. "There isn't much else we can do, right?" He slid away a few feet and stretched out on the floor.
After a few seconds, she said, "I'm cold."
"It doesn't feel cold to me," he answered. "Are you feeling okay?"
"We skinny people get cold easily," she said.
"It's too dark to find firewood," he answered. "We're just going to have to find some way to deal with it."
"Okay," she said. She suddenly snuggled up against him, with her arm around his waist.
"Ruff, are you crazy? Astrid would kill the both of us if she saw this!"
"She's not here. And she couldn't see this even if she was standing right next to us – it's too dark." She sounded rather pleased with herself for thinking of that.
"This isn't right, Ruff. You and me... we..."
"Hiccup, you did something a couple of minutes ago that nobody has ever done before. You tried to make me feel good about myself. You said nice things about me, without wanting something from me in return." She put her lips right to his ear and whispered, "I like that." Her tongue flicked against his earlobe. She gave him goosebumps in spite of himself.
"Toothless, I need your help! I need a distraction! Shoot a fireball next to the cave!"
He sensed the dragon coming to full alertness. "What's wrong?"
"I think she wants to mate with me!"
"Okay, that's the good news; what's the bad news?"
"I don't want to mate with her!"
Toothless sent a mental picture of himself, hitting his head with his wing. It was a dragon facepalm. "Hiccup, please tell me this is one of your jokes! For days, you've been harassing me with thoughts about your mating urges, and now that you've finally found a receptive female, suddenly you don't want it? What is wrong with you?"
"We aren't married! I don't even love her! It isn't right."
"Hiccup, mating isn't right nor wrong. It just is. Go ahead and mate with her. You'll feel better in the morning."
"But Astrid will kill me!"
"That's between you and Astrid. I'm staying out of your personal affairs." He sent a mental picture of himself curling up and going to sleep.
Meanwhile, Ruffnut was nuzzling his neck. "Admit it, Hiccup – doesn't that feel good? My dragon told me you guys always think about this stuff. Wouldn't you love to find out what it's like?"
He couldn't deny it felt good, but that didn't mean he was willing to receive it. "Ruff, you're not my girlfriend, or my wife, or anything! You shouldn't be doing this!"
"I'm never going to be anyone's wife," she whispered. "I'm resigned to that. All I can hope for is moments like this, with a really nice guy who cares how I feel. Here and now, you and me, is as good as it's ever going to get. Is it wrong for me to want to be close to someone when I can?"
He rolled over to face her. "I don't think it's right to –" Her lips cut off whatever else he was going to say. She didn't kiss like Astrid did, but she still lit a fire in him. He pulled his face away, but he wasn't strong enough to escape from her arms, and he felt his resolve fading. She wanted what she wanted; he was trying to do the right thing; but his hormones had betrayed him and were fighting on her side. That made it an unfair contest.
"Toothless, she's getting serious! I really need your help here!"
"I haven't found a female Night Fury in all my life. You've got a female who's throwing herself at you, and I'm supposed to feel sorry for you? Just mate with her and get it over with, and let me get some sleep!"
"Bud, there's no such thing as 'get it over with.' If I mate with her now, she'll probably want to do it again in the morning!"
"Again in the morning? Are you trying to tell me... that humans can mate more than once a year?"
"We aren't like dragons, bud. When we're young and strong, I've heard we can do it two or three times in a day."
"You mean, if I don't stop this, you're going to be bombarding me with these images again, and again, and..."
Half a second later, there was a purple flash and a thunderous crash from right outside the cave. Ruff let go of him instantly. "What was that?"
"Toothless must have seen something," he answered as he stood. He bumped into her in the dark; she clung to his arm, but she seemed nervous now, not amorous.
"Thanks, bud. That did the job."
"Is there any chance you'll go to sleep tonight?"
"I sure hope so."
"I hope so, too."
He patted Ruffnut on the shoulder. "It's okay. It was a false alarm."
"Oh." She relaxed somewhat. "So... can we pick up where we left off?"
"No, we can't do that," he said. "I'm going to sit down, and if you're still cold, you can sit next to me. I think we need to talk." He sat down and leaned back against the cave wall. After a few seconds, she sat down as well. She was right up against him, but she sat very stiffly.
"Ruff," he began, "you've got a lot more going for you than you realize. You've got more going for you than I ever thought. Your future isn't nearly as bleak as you're imagining. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you don't have to throw yourself at me as if I was your only hope."
No answer.
"You're prettier than you realize, you're smarter than everybody else realizes... About the only thing that's really holding you back is that you don't have a life outside of your brother."
She sniffled. "I should have known you'd reject me, too," she finally whispered.
"Ruff –" He felt for her shoulder, ran his finger down her arm until he found her hand in the dark, and held it. "If I wasn't already in love with somebody else, things could be different. I'm not rejecting you – it's nothing personal. It's just that... you're moving in on somebody who's already taken."
"She's not here," Ruff whispered hopefully. "It's just you and me. Nobody would ever know."
"I'd know," he answered. "Every time I looked at you, I'd be reminded of it. Every time I looked at Astrid, I'd be reminded of it. That's not the kind of thing I could just forget about."
"I'm not asking you to make a commitment to me or anything," she argued softly. "Just this one time, this one chance that will never come again."
"You're asking me for a one-night fling," he answered, trying not to sound harsh. "Would that really make you happy, or would it just make things worse in the long run?"
"Hiccup, you're not making any sense!" she burst out. "The only time a boy ever says nice things to me is when he wants me... or just certain parts of me. You're saying all the right things, you're making me feel beautiful, but you don't want anything from me! I don't get it."
"You already knew I wasn't like most guys," he said. "So stop expecting me to be just like them. I'll never fit that mold, even if I tried, and I've given up trying."
"Then what should I expect from you?" she wondered.
"The unexpected," he whispered. "But we ought to get some sleep if we can."
"I really am cold, a little," she murmured.
"If you promise to behave, I'll... we can keep each other warm," he said hesitantly.
"Deal," she said. He heard her spit, and she pressed her hand into his. He shook it reluctantly and lay down on his side. She curled up behind him and lightly wrapped one arm around his waist, but that was all. She was soon sound asleep. He had a much harder time drifting off.