A/N Thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story since I first posted it in January and also to the newbies who have only found it in the past few days and weeks (and read it straight through from chapter 1-30 in some cases! You rock!) I also need to say a big thank you to my best friend Jackie who has been forced to read most of these before I post them and in some cases, read rambling text messages where I bounced ideas off of her or freaked out because I had no idea where I was going to go with something! We ARE the epitome of that e-card going around online that says "I'm glad I can talk to you about fictional characters as if they were real, and have you still think I'm sane." :)

Enjoy! and as always, reviews are welcome!

Chapter 26

Your eyes, they shine so bright

I want to save their light

I can't escape this now

Unless you show me how

"Demons"-Imagine Dragons

(Peeta)

If I had known in those past 6-7 years that a swift kick to the nuts was the quickest and easiest way to end a full blown episode….I probably would still have opted for hiding behind the door with the red X rather than the kick to the nuts.

There was a split second of blissful delay between Katniss' knee connecting with my groin, and my senses telling my hijacked brain to take a back seat because 'the homeland was under attack'.

As soon as they did announce it loud and clear though, I saw stars and my eyes (which were already teary from whatever I was dealing with during the episode) watered as I screamed and grabbed my aching dick.

I was on my stomach in the middle of the bed and as I turned to my side and pulled my knees up towards my chest, I pried my eyes open just long enough to see Katniss racing for the stairs in the dim light of the room. I tried to call out to her but hadn't yet recovered my voice so instead I just listened to the sound of her bare feet slapping against each step as she hurried to get away from…me.

"Katniss!" I cried after her when I could finally speak, but all I heard in response was the door slamming shut downstairs. Of course, this sent me into a panic because I was just beginning to put together what had happened to make her run away from me so I was sure she was leaving me and never coming back. "KATNISS!? No! Wait!" I howled, trying to scramble off of the bed with my hand still at my crotch and only one good leg to try and get me there.

All I managed to do was go crashing to the hardwood floor, bashing an elbow and the stump of my left leg in the process and making me curse some more. I rolled to my back, hissing in pain and frustration as my whole body shook from the fear that Katniss had finally had enough of dealing with an unstable, and sometimes murderous, cripple.

I may have been angry with her when I went to bed, but I had just wanted to take the night to calm down before having a serious talk with her the next day about her needing to be more trusting and open with me regarding what's going on in the shared part of our lives together. Whatever she did or didn't want to tell me about her own past and experiences was up to Katniss. I trusted her enough to confide in me whatever she felt comfortable, just as I knew she trusted me to do the same with my own history.

But when what she was choosing not to tell me directly affected not only our personal relationship, but also my often fragile mental state, she needed to know that she was absolutely in the wrong and I had planned to tell her so after a good night's sleep.

I wish I could say that I remember everything that happened that night after I climbed into bed. I wish I could explain what first set off the episode that night, or what I had been thinking when (as Haymitch had told me later) I manhandled and then tried to choke the only girl I've ever loved. I wish there was some easy way to explain how badly my torturers in the Capitol had damaged my mind, but all I remember about my time there is how wholly convinced of Katniss' deception they had made me.

I lay on the floor just long enough to stop the room from spinning and my leg and elbow to stop ringing from the pain of falling on the floor before I pulled myself up into a sitting position and reached for my prosthetic leg.

I knew there was no safer place for Katniss to have run to than Haymitch's and I desperately needed to make sure she was okay. As I stood from the floor after replacing my leg, I reached immediately for the phone and mumbled a curse as I realized I had left it downstairs when I called Haymitch earlier in the day to see if she'd been over there at all.

I had just reached the bottom of the stairs next to the front door when it opened loudly and Haymitch stumbled into the house breathing heavily. Before I could utter a single word, He had his goose herding cane raised, ready to cold cock me should I take any kind of violent action against him.

"Woah! Woah! Woah! I'm alright!" I yelled raising my hands to protect my face as I skidded to a stop in front of him. Haymitch lowered the cane but kept his eyes trained suspiciously on mine as he stepped aside a little to look me over.

"You sure? It sounds like things were pretty…serious." He said trying to be vague. But Haymitch being vague meant that he didn't want to say anything that might upset me about what had happened with Katniss and that also meant that whatever Katniss told him I did must have been pretty fucking awful.

I just nodded my head in response, still trying to catch my breath from my dash down the steps and bent over with my hands on my knees. "Where is she? Is she alright?" I asked looking up at Haymitch from where I was still bent over.

"She's…okay. She's over at my place and staying there the rest of the night so no arguments about it. You can see her tomorrow." He said sternly and I hung my head in relief that Katniss was somewhere safe for the time being. "Alright, come on. Get over to the couch and lie down while I get you some water." He mumbled and gently led me to the living room with one hand at the crook of my elbow.

I dropped to the couch lying longways on my back and stared up at the ceiling. I could feel my whole body trembling with a mixture of adrenaline and fear and I brought both hands to my face, covering my eyes as I tried desperately to remember all that had happened up in the bedroom. What flashes I was able to piece together had me trembling even harder.

I heard Haymitch coming back into the room but still kept my face covered until I heard him sit down on the edge of the coffee table beside me. "Hey, sit up and drink this, boy." He said using the same tone I've heard Katniss use when approaching wounded animals in the forest. "You'll feel better." He said and I huffed a sarcastic laugh as I sat up slowly and turned toward him.

"Promise?" I asked hoarsely and took the glass he was holding out to me. Haymitch smiled ruefully and shook his head as he twiddled with the cane he had resting across his lap.

"Hell no." he admitted and raised his eyes from the cane to look into my face. "I'd only promise you that if there was vodka in there instead of water." He smirked and watched me until I had downed the whole glass and set it aside on the table.

"What did I do?" I asked when I finally thought I sort of had my wits about me. I knew that Haymitch was going to be evasive but it still pissed me off when he sighed and looked at the front door shaking his head. "Haymitch…" I warned and he swung his eyes back to mine. "Tell me. Please." I begged and he sighed heavily and ran a hand nervously through his chin length hair before he blew out a breath.

"Why don't you tell me what you remember and I'll fill in the blanks as we go along?" he asked and I thought on it for a long time before I sat back against the cushions with a slow nod. I wiped my sweaty hands on the pajama bottoms I was wearing and stared straight ahead out the front window as I began to speak quietly.

"I…remember Katniss coming home…" I mumbled and looked towards the kitchen where the back door to the porch was. "I was watering the flowers we put in yesterday and I kinda ignored her when she came out to tell me she brought dinner home with her." I explained and then looked up suddenly as I realized Haymitch might not know what exactly we were fighting about.

He could obviously tell by the look on my face what I was about to say. "She told me everything…about the pregnancy scare and all that." He said waving a dismissive hand and then leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "What to you remember about going to bed? Do you remember showering?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yeah…but…things get a little…shiny after that." I admitted and scratched the back of my head nervously. "I know…I know I was upset…" I said and moved both hands to grip my knees when I realized they were beginning to shake again. "…because Katniss went to the midwife without me and had a pregnancy test done." I said with a sigh and looked to Haymitch for confirmation that I was on the right track.

"So far so good…what next?" he asked and I dropped my eyes to the cane he was still fiddling with, wishing for a moment that he would have just bashed me over the head with it and I wouldn't have to deal with this conversation until the next morning at the earliest.

"And…and then Katniss came to bed and I heard her whisper something…" I said closing my eyes and trying to take myself back to that moment. "I…I don't know…I think she said…." I groaned and leaned forward with my elbows on my knees, my hands going back up to cover my face. "…she said she was sorry…" I forced out as terrible images of Katniss on an operating table, grinning madly as a trio of white-masked doctors work below her waist, talking flippantly about the abortion they are performing. "I…I guess 'bad Peeta' heard it too and thought she was saying she was sorry for ending the pregnancy or…or something like that…" I forced out in barely a whisper.

I startled slightly when one of Haymitch's hands fell on my shoulder just to let me know he was there. "Real or not real?" I asked looking pleadingly at him through my fingers.

"Not real, kid." He said sadly and squeezed my shoulder lightly. "She might not have been particularly excited about the possibility, but you know that girl could never do anything to harm a child of yours." He said with such bare honestly that even 'bad Peeta' couldn't argue with him.

I nodded solemnly and looked back to the front window and sighed. "I guess that's when the episode started because I can't really rememeber anything else until Katniss…" I trailed off and Haymitch smirked again.

"Buried her knee in your baby maker?" he asked and then straightened his shoulders a little and tilted his head as if considering something. "Kinda ironic, huh?" he said and I glared at him. "Sorry…I keep doing that." He mumbled and then cleared his throat and picked up the bottle of liquor he'd set on the coffee table beside him.

He took a large gulp and offered me the bottle next. "Might settle your nerves a little." He said with a shrug. "I'm hoping it calmed your sweetheart over there down enough for her to go up to bed and get a little sleep at least." He said and I looked between his face and the bottle a few times before swiping it from his hands and taking a large swig myself.

I coughed and sputtered a little, my own taste for alcohol was mostly limited to the wine Katniss and I sometimes drank on the porch together at the end of the day and even that took us about a month to go through a bottle of together. Haymitch took the bottle back from me and the look on his face told me that what he was about to say might have me asking for another swallow.

"Is she really okay?" I asked suddenly perking up at the mention of Katniss as I leaned in to hear what he had to say. "Did…did I…hurt her?" I asked, barely able to make the question form on my lips.

Haymitch shrugged again and looked around the dark living room in such a way that I knew he was mentally preparing himself for what he was about to say. He was faking nonchalance but that was all it was; faking.

I had hurt her.

"No…no-no-no-no-no-no-no…." I whispered and covered my ears with my hands and started rocking back and forth pathetically on the couch. Haymitch waited patiently for my fit to pass and when I finally was able to make eye contact with him again, I begged him to tell me what I had done even as tears coursed down my cheeks.

"please Haymitch…what did I do to her?" I asked shakily and he took a steadying breath before he explained it all in agonizing detail.

The way I'd held her down, the way I'd left love bites that were just a little too forceful. When he told me about grabbing her arms and holding her down, I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and squeezed it between my teeth so hard I was surprised I didn't draw blood.

"Is that what made her run? Is…is that why she kneed me?" I asked when he stopped for a moment to let everything he'd said so far slowly sink in to my scrambled brain.

As soon as the question was completely out of my mouth though, I had another flash of what had happened, the image rising to the surface and then branding itself to my brain in that split second.

Katniss' big grey eyes looking up at me with fear. Not the open love I usually saw when looking down into her eyes from on top of her in bed, but the kind of fear you see in the eyes of someone reliving their worst nightmare. The kind of fear you see in the eyes of someone reliving one of the worst moments of your shared life together.

"FUCK!" I screamed and gripped the sides of my head as I finally understood what I had done. "No, please….no…" I pleaded looking down at Haymitch who was looking sadly up at me from the coffee table. "Please tell me I didn't…." I begged and dropped to the floor on my knees as I began to cry.

Haymitch could only reach out and pat the back of my head supportively as I looked up at him through my tears. "I…I strangled her?" I asked, my voice breaking like it hadn't since I went through puberty. I stared up at Haymitch pleading with my eyes for him to tell me even though the memory I'd just experienced had already provided me with the answer.

Haymitch couldn't lie to me but I took his silence as anwer enough. As my face crumbled into another bout of sobbing tears, the last thing I remembered was Haymitch tugging me forward into his arms as I buried my face in his shoulder and cried. I remember thinking fleetingly of all the times my father had held me like that when I was small and had gotten caught in the crosshairs of my mother's bad temper, just before everything went wonderfully black.

I woke to the sound of a mockingjay singing and opened my eyes slowly to find I was back in my and Katniss' bedroom. I lifted my head from the pillow it was on and slowly turned my face into it because Katniss' scent still clung to the fabric.

The mockingjay trilled again and I lifted my face away from the pillow with a groan. I was preparing to yell at the bird when I realized it was singing a particular and familiar tune.

It was singing The Valley Song.

I sat up too quickly and the room spun slightly. "Ahh…shit…" I muttered and dropped back onto the bed with my eyes closed until it stopped. Thankfully, the bird continued to sing just outside the window where it was perched in one of our apple trees. When I finally felt okay, I sat up slowly and walked over to the window, rubbing my leg where it connected to the prosthesis.

The bird hopped from branch to branch and went higher up into the tree when it saw me coming. "No, no…wait!" I whispered and opened the window more so that I could stick my head out. The bird had obviously been around Katniss that morning and I wished I could just ask it where she was and how she was doing. Because I couldn't, I hung my head out the window to try and see Haymitch's porch around the front of the house.

My shoulders sagged slightly when I didn't see her there but I was determined to find out where she was and then apologize every day for the rest of my life for what I'd done.

I turned away from the window to get a shirt out of my dresser and hissed as I felt a pinch in my leg again. I couldn't have expected Haymitch to remember to take my leg off when I went to sleep. Hell, I found it pretty damn impressive that he had been able to get me up the stairs and into bed on his own.

I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt after rubbing some pain cream onto my leg and headed downstairs to find my shoes so that I could go see where Katniss was and make sure that she was alright after my…attack the night before.

I sat on the bottom step to put my shoes on and also to give me a second to try and think of what the hell I was going to say to Katniss when I finally saw her. If she even wanted to see me that was.

"She's out on the swing." Haymitch said from where he lay on the couch with his eyes closed. I finished tying my shoes and stood from the step.

He was stretched out with his feet propped on the end of the couch closest to me, his feet were bare and his clothes rumpled so I knew he must have spent the night there.

"I looked out the window upstairs. I didn't see her there, are you sure sh…" I started and Haymitch folded his arms behind his head and opened his eyes.

"Not my porch, dummy. Yours." He said with a soft smile and looked me over in such a fatherly way that I had to smile. I was surprised that Katniss would be so close to me after what I'd put her through less than 12 hours before, but I hoped it was a good sign.

"You doing okay, kid?" Haymitch asked as his face quickly turned serious and he leaned up on his elbows a little.

I took a deep breath and looked around the house before I answered. It was still early and the sun had obviously just risen outside, casting the room in a soft orange glow that almost matched the orange of the sunsets I loved so much. The quiet ticking of the clock I'd managed to somehow save from the rubble of my family's home above the bakery was the only sound in the room besides mine and Haymitch's soft breathing. Buttercup watched me suspiciously from the bay window in the dining room, probably wondering what the hell all that screaming and yelling was about the night before. He looked like he wanted to be angry with me but the tip of his tail twitched back and forth letting me know that if I was interested in giving him a quick scratch behind the ear, he wouldn't be opposed.

Despite everything that had gone wrong in my life, (a distant mother, being chosen for the Games, losing my leg, losing my family, the hijacking...) standing in the middle of the house I shared with Katniss and looking at all of the little things that made this place our home, I felt at peace. At peace with the episodes I would likely always battle, with the torture that had made them a part of my life, even at peace with the fact that Katniss might never be my wife because I did know deep in my heart that she would be with me for the rest of our lives regardless.

If she had not run away yet after all we'd been through in the time we'd known each other, hell, if she hadn't run away after what happened just that night, then she clearly wasn't planning on going anywhere. She might not ever wear my ring, but she wore the pearl I gave her around her neck every single day.

I realized I'd been quiet for too long when Haymitch swung his legs around to sit up on the couch and tensed. "Yeah…yeah, I'm…I'm actually pretty great." I said with an embarrassed laugh and nodded towards the front door. "I'm gonna go see my girl now if that's okay with the guard dog?" I asked raising my eyebrows at him with a little smile.

Haymitch rolled his eyes but couldn't hide the genuine smile that worked its way to his face a few seconds later. "Sure, just behave." He said with a wink and I hurried to the door and pulled it open.

As I stepped out onto the porch already turning towards the swing on the right, my eyes met hers. Katniss was sitting on the swing like she'd been only the morning before, her knees drawn up to her chin under her nightgown, her hair falling in loose waves around her shoulders. She had the tell-tale dark circles of poor sleep under her eyes but it didn't take away from even a fraction of how beautiful she was to me.

I froze, not sure if she would be okay with me approaching her so soon after what I'd done to, her but she just smiled softly and beckoned me over with a pat to the swing beside her.

"You sure?" I asked nervously and she only nodded and offered me a reassuring smile. I slowly made my way over to sit down beside her on the swing and pushed us back and forth a few times with my feet on the porch. I needed a moment to think of how exactly to say 'I'm sorry' to someone you love who you had just almost killed hours ago.

"Katniss…" I started quietly as I looked out across the small street at Haymitch's house. "You have….no idea how sorry I am for what I did." I said turning my head to look at her sadly and dropping my eyes to the seat between us when I saw the bruises on her neck.

"Actually, I know exactly how sorry you are, Peeta." She said confidently and I lifted my eyes back to hers in shock as Katniss reached over to hold my hand on the swing. "And frankly, I'm insulted that you still don't see how similar our circumstances are while you're having an episode." She said sternly and my brow furrowed in confusion.

"I told you once when we were first back here in 12 that the reason I want to be the one to help you through your episodes is because I'm the reason you have to deal with them in the first place. And as hard as it is for you to accept that there's always going to be a part of you that wants to hurt me, there is a part of me that finds it equally difficult to accept that they did this to you to get at me." She said in almost a whisper. "That…every time you're locked behind a door suffering, it's like I'm slowly strangling the life out of you." Katniss explained and squeezed my hand gently.

I dropped my eyes back to the seat and our entwined hands and then turned towards her and reached up with my free hand to gently touch her neck. I traced the bruises with my finger tips and sighed sadly. "Sure, my bruises might be physical…" She said taking both of my hands and holding them in her lap. "But you have just as many emotional and mental ones so don't go trying to tell me it's not the same. It is." Katniss insisted and squeezed my hands gently.

"Besides," She said when I finally made eye contact with her again. "you may have hurt me last night, but I hurt you first with that midwife crap. I knew well and good how it might look to you and I still went in to see her anyway and had the test done by myself because that's just how I am. I'm not making excuses, I'm just…I'm telling you that I've been…responsible for so many things for so much of my life just taking care of things for my family like hunting and trading, that I forgot to consider how you might feel about things. You were right…" She said stroking her thumbs over the backs of my hands soothingly.

"It's not just me or you. It's us." I sensed that she was getting nervous and honestly, it made me a little anxious as well to see her that way, especially considering what I had done to her. Was she going to say we should spend some time apart? Split up completely? Had the last week while she thought she might be pregnant with my child shown her that she really didn't want to be with me?

"It always has been." She said looking up into my eyes and biting her bottom lip. "I thought I was confused about my feelings after our first Games…but…but you saved my life and my mom and Prim's lives when we were just 11-years-old and I never forgot that, Peeta. Never." She whispered and reached up to kiss my lips with such gentleness that I couldn't help kissing her back even though I was still afraid to be so close to her after what I'd done.

"You didn't just give me food when you gave me that loaf of bread, you gave me hope." She whispered and stroked my cheek. I smiled sadly and reached up with one hand to lightly stroke her wrist. "Something I thought I had lost when my father died and never realized how desperately I needed returned to me until I got it back that day in the rain. I never understood, until that moment with the bread, just how important hope is. How powerful it can be in the right hands." She said and that nervousness returned to her voice as she took my hands again and squeezed each one gently.

"Over the past 6 years, I don't feel like I've appropriately returned the favor to you, but I'd like to start making that up to you right now." She said and gazed steadily into my eyes. "I will never keep something like this from you again." She promised and I smiled softly and leaned in to kiss her lips as a thank you.

"Good." I said when we pulled back and nodded my head. "That's a good start, Kat." I whispered and leaned my forehead against hers, relaxing slightly. We stayed that way for a long time before I finally pulled back and looked down at her. I tried not to make a face as I reached out and touched the bruises on her neck again and Katniss sighed and wrapped her hands around my wrists.

"Stop." She murmured and glanced down between my legs quickly. "I'm fine, I promise." She said and cringed. "How are you by the way?" Katniss asked and glanced down at my crotch again. "No…permanent dammage?" she asked and I chuckled softly and shook my head.

"Nah, you know him," I joked and followed her gaze to my crotch. "eats right, gets…regular exercise…" I teased and Katniss rolled her eyes. "Besides, it's the first time I've taken a knee to the balls. It makes me feel like a little bit of a bad ass…rogueish even." I said chuckling as Katniss gave my shoulder a playful shove. "And if it had to be anyone who did it, I'm glad it was my girlfriend who can surely make it up to him at her earliest convenience…" I said tugging her over onto my lap and smacking playful kisses all over her face.

"Now I know my Peeta is really back." Katniss groaned and looped her arms around my neck, kissing me slowly. When we pulled back a few moments later, Katniss scrunched her nose up, regarding me closely.

"What…do I smell bad or something?" I asked, puzzled by her reaction. I was also a little worried again as I saw that anxious look return to her eyes. Katniss shook her head and chuckled as she adjusted herself where she still sat with her legs draped over my lap.

"No, no, nothing like that I just…it sounds funny to hear you call me your girlfriend still." She said and I frowned, confused about what she could possibly have meant. Katniss must have noticed my expression because she tried to explain.

"What I mean I guess, is we've been living together for years, we own the bakery together, share our bedroom with the ugliest cat in Panem every night, take care of Haymitch together…" she said and we both chuckled. "I dunno…I guess it just…doesn't feel like enough to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend anymore." She shrugged and I rubbed a hand up and down her back, trying to figure out where she was going with this. What did she mean? What else could we call each other?

"You mean like…I should start calling you my… lover?" I asked arching one eyebrow and giving her my best sexy, smoldering look which made her laugh again.

I stopped rubbing her back when she squirmed slightly and dropped one hand to toy nervously with the pearl around her neck. "Well…no, not…not exactly." She said quietly and glanced back and forth between my lips and my eyes. "I was thinking that… fiancée has a better ring to it… don't you think?" She said looking into my eyes and biting her bottom lip in that nervous way again.

I had to admit it. I was stone-cold shocked. The look on my face must have said as much because Katniss smiled slowly and nodded her head.

"You…you want to marry me?" I asked and Katniss nodded again. "This isn't just because of the fight over the baby, is it?" I asked finding it hard not to be just a little suspicious of her motives. I was even more surprised when she admitted that it had played at least a small part in her change of heart.

"It's a little about the fight over the baby, but only because it took seeing how hurt you were by me keeping something from you. I realized that something else I was keeping from you was that…" She stumbled over her words a little bit. "…that part of the reason I've been putting you off about marriage is because of the stuff with my parents…but um…" she leaned sideways against the back of the swing and I kept holding one of her hands. I put the other on one of her knees that was stretched over my lap, squeezing it gently to offer her the support to keep going. "…it's also because of Prim." She mumbled and I leaned back against the swing too.

"How do you mean?" I asked reaching to tilt her chin up so that she was looking at me.

Katniss sighed and smiled sadly. "I mean…I'm getting to do everything that Prim never will." She said simply with a little shrug. "I've had my first kiss. As far as I know, Prim never got to have that." She whispered and looked sadly out across the yard. "I have my own home, a business with the guy I love who I get to come home with every night. I'm…moving on, I'm living. And she's dead." She finished and I nodded slowly as I realized what she was getting at.

"And I guess I've been feeling absolutely shitty about that for all of this time without really knowing where it was coming fro…"

"Prim did have her first kiss you know." I interrupted with a secret smile and grinned widely at the look on Katniss' face.

"What?!" She asked sitting up straighter as I saw tears spring to her eyes. I wouldn't have laughed if I didn't know for sure that they were happy tears. I nodded and looked out over the lawn myself, savoring for a moment that I was going to be able to give Katniss this gift from her little sister who I'd accidentally interrupted during a special moment in her young, unfinished life.

"Mmhmm…." I said letting go of her hand and wrapping my arm around her shoulders as she turned to sit next to me, hip to hip and I finally started to tell her the story. "It was about…oh, I guess maybe a month or two after we got back from the Games and I was working at the bakery with my dad." I said leaning my head back against the house and stroking Katniss' arm gently as I continued. "It was just after school had let out for the day and we usually got a few town kids, the occasional Seam brat…" I grinned and Katniss jabbed me with her elbow. "But uh…I was just putting out a plateful of fresh cookies in the display case when Prim walked in…" I said smiling softly. "…with Vick Hawthorne."

"Are you kidding me?!" Katniss screeched and turned so that she was facing me, her legs crossed under the nightgown she was wearing. I couldn't help laughing at the absolutely appalled look on her face. "He…he was TWO YEARS older than Prim!" She said accusingly as if I hadn't already known that.

"I'm aware." I said dryly and rested my arm on the back of the swing, waiting for Katniss to calm down. She opened and closed her mouth several time and folded her arms over her chest. "You done?" I asked raising my eyebrows and Katniss pouted and gestured for me to continue.

"Anyway, I said hello to them both but a bunch of other kids walked in just after them so things got pretty busy at the register. I did make sure to keep an eye on what they were up to so you know, you're welcome." I smirked at her and Katniss rolled her eyes.

"So what? They just…kissed in the middle of the bakery?" She asked and I shook my head.

"No, no…nothing as brazen as that." I assured her. "Umm…Vick saw Prim eyeing the cookies I'd just put out and he offered to get one for her. I could just hear him ask over the racket of the other kids in the room and Prim shook her head real shyly and said something about how he should save the money for something practical that he needed, not waste it on cookies." I said and chuckled again. "Vick, he uh…he looked a little like his ego took a hit so while Prim went outside to look at the cakes in the window, I called him over to the counter and slipped him a napkin with two of the biggest cookies in the bunch wrapped in it." I smiled thinking of his face when I gave him the cookies and how he had tried to give me what little money he had on him in payment for them.

"I told him the cookies were misshapen and no one would want to buy them anyway." I whispered and Katniss moved on the swing so that she was lying back against my arm again and turned her head to nuzzle my neck softly. "I know my dad saw what I did, but he just kept on ringing kids up at the register like he hadn't seen a thing." I said and felt a pang in my chest as it hit me just how much I missed my father. Katniss must have heard something in my voice because she brought her arms up around my torso and snuggled into my chest.

" So I uhh…I winked at Vick and his ears turned bright red while he thanked me quickly and then rushed outside with the cookies, I guess to find Prim." I sighed happily at the memory and then shrugged slightly. "I didn't see him give her the cookie but a few minutes later I was taking some trash out back and when I walked around the side of the building to the dumpster….I saw Vick leaning back against the side bakery in the alley and little Prim up on tip toes with her lips pressed to his." I grinned and Katniss shook her head against my chest.

"I can't believe she never told me that." She mumbled and I kissed the top of head. "I can't believe you never told me that." She said pulling back a little to look up at me accusingly.

"Hey, she asked me not to." I said raising my hands defensively and Katniss' eyes widened and she sat up a little better.

"She knew that you saw her?" She asked shocked and I nodded slowly and pulled her back into my arms comfortably.

"Of course she knew I saw her," I laughed. "They jumped apart like the other was on fire when they noticed I was standing there." I explained and shook my head as I thought of how embarrassed they both had been. "Prim ran right over to me and begged me not to say anything to you or Gale and I looked over her head at Vick. He obviously hadn't told Prim that the cookies were given to him for free and since I assumed he didn't want Prim to know about that, I just shrugged and told them both that I knew how to keep a secret. Vick just scratched the back of his head and told Prim he trusted me not to say anything."

When I didn't say anything more, Katniss shook her head slowly while she took in everything I had said. "She did have her first kiss." She whispered and sighed happily. "With Vick-freaking-Hawthorne of all boys." She groaned and tilted her head to look up at me. "Thank you, Peeta." She said quietly. "I'm so glad you were at the bakery that day to help Prim make that special memory to take with her when she died." Katniss said and climbed over me, straddling my lap and looped her arms around my neck. "You have quite the habit of making women in the Everdeen family love you." She teased and I rolled my eyes thinking of how her mother doted on me whenever she came to visit us.

"Yeah, well, I'd say after you just telling me you want to marry me, one Everdeen woman in particular has just made me the happiest man on earth." I whispered and leaned forward to kiss her softly. "Tell me again…" I murmured against her lips and Katniss pulled back to look into my face.

"Ask me again." She whispered and I grinned.

"Marry me, Katniss…" I said staring straight into her eyes. There was a moment where she smiled playfully at me and then shrugged as if it was no big deal.

"Yeah, sure. Why not?" She said and laughed as I grabbed her around the middle and began to tickle her. Katniss leaned away from my tickling and lay back on the other end of the swing, tugging me with her so that I was lying out on top of her, my legs settled onto either side of her hips.

"I love you." I whispered, looking down into her eyes. Katniss reached up and stroked my cheek lovingly before wrapping her hand around my neck and pulling me down for a long, slow kiss.

"I love you too, Peet…so much." She murmured against my lips and gasped when she felt my arousal against her thigh. "Take me to bed?" she asked in such a soft but husky breath that my hips surged forward into hers of their own will and I moaned softly.

"But Haymitch is inside…" I said and we both jumped up to a sitting position, startled by his voice coming from right behind us at the door.

"No, he's not…" he growled and we both had to hold back a laugh as we noticed he was covering his eyes. "All made up then I assume?" he grumbled and we both said 'yes' at the same time. "Teriffic." He said with a sigh and uncovered his eyes so that he could cast us a mock-disgusted look as he started down the steps to the lawn.

We watched him go, me pushing the swing back and forth gently again with one foot on the floor when Haymitch turned suddenly in the middle of the yard.

"Oh right, where are my manners…" he said and looked between the two of us with the most genuine smile either of us had ever seen from Haymitch. "Congratulations." He said even as he continued walking backwards toward his front steps.

Katniss and I both smiled shyly at each other and then looked at Haymitch, grinning like idiots. "Thanks, Haymitch." I said tugging Katniss over into my side and kissing her forehead.

Only a few short minutes later, there was a trail of clothing climbing the stairs to the second floor of our house leading to the bedroom. I was stretched out on top of Katniss under the covers of our bed, thrusting slowly into her as we both moaned and whispered loving words back and forth to each other. The mechanics were just like any other time we'd made love, but different because I was overwhelmed by the new feelings I had for Katniss since she told me she'd marry me, like the very blood in my veins was calling out to the blood in hers.

She was going to be my wife.

When we collapsed into a sweaty heap together after both reaching our climaxes, I turned to my back looking up at the ceiling. I worked to catch my breath and Katniss slid over to rest her head over my heart and covered the hand I had resting on my stomach with her own.

"fiancée." I whispered between pants for air and felt Katniss smile against my chest.

"So are you going to turn my necklace into a ring now?" she asked and I shook my head, reaching over into my nightstand and pulling out a small velvet box as I sat up against the headboard. Katniss moved so that she was sitting between my legs, her back against my chest as I opened the box and showed her the ring I'd been carrying around with me since I'd asked her on the steps of the bakery that first time at the Harvest Festival. I'd gotten the ring a few weeks before but hadn't had it on me during the festival since asking her had been a spur of the moment thing that night.

"How long have you had this?" She asked shocked and I shrugged and gave her a coy smile that said I would never tell. "It's beautiful, Peeta. Thank you." She said turning her head to kiss me before I took out the simple, yet elegant diamond ring and slid it onto her finger.

She held her hand out in the early afternoon light for us both to look at it and then I took her hand and brought it to my lips to kiss the ring. As we lay there together, I felt that same sense of peace I'd felt standing in the living room that morning and knew a small part of 'bad Peeta' had been slain and would never return.

I vowed right then and there that I would never again let him put his hands on Katniss to harm her. And in the nine years since that day, I've never physically hurt Katniss during an episode again.

"So how long do you need to ease into the fiancée thing before you actually marry me?" I asked as we looked at the ring. Katniss chuckled softly and shrugged, turning her head to look up at me through her touseled bangs.

"Eh…at least like…a year or two? That's not too bad is it?" She asked crinkling her nose and I shook my head and laughed.

"I told you, woman." I said bringing my lips down onto hers and rolling us over so that I was on top of her again. "I'd wait forever for you." I grinned and kissed my way down her neck before quickly switching gears and tickling her hard as she began to screech and giggle and I pulled the covers over our heads.