Chapter 27
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.
Bob Dylan- "To Make you Feel my Love"
(three years after the engagement)
It was one of the worst winters we'd seen in many years in District 12. The kind with long, dark days that wreak havoc on the emotions of even the cheeriest people.
Peeta had been working extra long hours at the bakery because our newest apprentice, Calen, had fallen ill with a terrible flu. That meant I had barely seen him except for a few hours a day for going on two weeks. Peeta said he didn't want both of us trekking into town in the snow, especially with the flu spreading like wildfire. He argued that if he got sick, he'd need me to take over for him at the bakery so it was silly to risk both of our health.
I agreed with his logic, but with the deep snow and the fact that most of the animals were either hibernating or taking shelter against the poor weather, I wasn't hunting nearly as often as I would have liked. By the second week of dreary, depressing weather and nothing to keep my mind off of it like Peeta or hunting could, I felt myself slipping into my own bad place.
It was different than Peeta's episodes, but no less debilitating. The depression I sometimes dealt with as a result of my own highlight reel of horrifying memories, compliments of the Games and the war, came and went without warning. Sometimes the smallest thing would set me off and just getting out of bed and enjoying the wonderful things in my life depressed me when I thought of how easily they could disappear. Sometimes they still do and those are the hardest days to explain to my young children.
These thoughts visit me still, but not quite as often or as strong as they were in those first, most difficult years when my mind was still so fragile.
That day during the snowstorm when I'd finally reached my breaking point, I tried calling Haymitch but he was either dead drunk and not answering the phone, or dead drunk and depressed and not answering the phone. Like most of the time, I figured it was probably a little bit of both.
I talked to Dr. Aurelius on the phone briefly and he told me to take one of the anxiety pills I kept handy for emergencies. This was on top of the pill I had been taking regularly to combat my depression since Peeta had reentered my life and I'd found a reason to enjoy living again. I agreed, even though I didn't particularly like the way the anxiety medication made me feel. I would have much preferred my own natural brand of anxiety medication in the form of my loving fiancée.
That's right; while I had accepted Peeta's proposal three years earlier, I still hadn't found the nerve to go down to the justice building and physically file the paperwork we'd had since shortly after I'd agreed to marry him.
Peeta seemed happy enough knowing that it was eventually going to happen and I was happy that I still wasn't feeling like I wanted to run for the hills at the idea of marriage after being engaged for three years. I knew it was going to take some time before I was actually able to go through with it, but since we were already doing all of the things a married couple did, the actual ceremonial aspects of it didn't really mean a whole lot to me.
But I knew they still did to Peeta.
He never asked me when I wanted to get married after he'd picked up the proper paperwork we'd need, he just quietly put it away in a drawer and told me it was up to me when we went to the Justice Building to file it. We had gone as far as to both say we wanted to have a traditional toasting as well and very low key with just Haymitch and Sae as witnesses. I also promised Peeta that we could have our friends and my mother for a small reception sometime after.
That was the one part of Peeta's fake speech about our wedding in the Quarter Quell interviews that was true; neither of us would have really felt married without the toasting ceremony.
After I hung up the phone from calling Haymitch without any luck, I looked down at Buttercup who was winding his way back and forth through my legs.
"Now I know the weather must be getting to all of us if you're willing to come to me for attention." I grumbled and knelt down on my bedroom floor to pet him. Buttercup was getting up in years at the time and had become a little more accepting of my presence in his life. Of course he loved Peeta from the first night he'd slept over at my house.
The cat purred quietly as I stroked his neck and then he walked away and scooted down the hall, sitting in front of the door to Peeta's art room where he began to meow. I sighed and walked down to the door and sat down against it with a huff as Buttercup climbed up into my lap and pawed at my face.
"I know; I miss him too." I whispered and dropped my head back against the door as Buttercup meowed again.
"What's that?" I asked with an exaggerated gasp.
"You think we should call him?" I joked and looked at the ceiling as if thinking it over and then quickly pushed the cat aside and hopped up. "Yeah, me too."
I hurried back to the bedroom where I grabbed the handset to the phone and dropped down on the bed as I dialed the bakery. Peeta answered on the 4th ring which told me he was probably really busy.
I only felt a little bit bad about interrupting him.
"Mellark's Bakery."
"Hey, how are things going there?" I asked and could almost hear his answering smile on the other end of the phone. I thought talking to Peeta would alleviate some of the sadness I felt but it just made me want him to be home with me even more.
"Good, busy." He sighed and I could hear the cash register dinging as we talked.
"You know how everyone gets in the winter, comfort food and all that. How are you doing?" He asked and I sighed and shrugged to myself as Buttercup hopped up onto the bed on Peeta's side and settled in.
"The stupid cat misses you." I mumbled and Peeta chuckled.
"Just the cat?" he asked hopefully and I smiled for the first time in what felt like months.
"No." I said softly and waited a beat as I heard him saying good bye to a customer and thanking them for coming in to buy something in such horrible weather. He told them to be safe and then I could hear him walking and the sound of pans being moved around and knew he was in the back room.
"You okay, sweetie?" he asked when the banging of the pans stopped. "I could close up a little early today and come home in time for dinner if you need me to…"
I cut him off. "No, no…I…I don't want to lose us any business, especially if the snow gets worse. Were you going to come home tonight or stay in the apartment?" I asked trying not to sound like a pathetic woman who couldn't spend the night in her own house without her big strong man to protect her.
"I'll come home." He said and I could instantly tell that he had been planning to stay at the bakery, but changed his mind because he sensed I wanted him to be home that night.
"You don't have to do that, Peet. If you need to stay, stay. I don't want you driving home in this if it isn't safe to be doing so anyway." I argued so half-heartedly that Peeta actually laughed at me over the phone.
"Hey…you know, you are allowed to need me sometimes, Katniss." He murmured into the phone and I could tell he was a little embarrassed to be saying so.
"I kinda like it when you do…" he admitted shyly and I smiled again.
"I'll save your plate in the oven?" I asked biting my bottom lip and he chuckled again.
"No, that's okay I'll eat something here. I probably won't be able to get out of here until close to nine and…well…I don't exactly think I'll be hungry for food when I get home anyway…" he whispered and my whole body tingled with the insinuation behind his words. It'd been only a week since the last time we'd made love but it had been a rushed affair one early morning before he had to get up and go in to work.
I was looking forward to the idea of foreplay that lasted more than 12 seconds.
"Mmm…sounds…delicious." I teased and squirmed against the bed already thinking of the possibilities that lie ahead for us that night.
"I'll meet you in the kitchen?" I teased breathily and Peeta chuckled again.
"Sh…sure…uh, I gotta go. There's a customer out front walking around and I need to try and lose the…" he lowered his voice slightly before continuing on in a mumble. "…raging hard-on you've been kind enough to give me before I can walk out there."
He chuckled and I gasped softly, covering my mouth with a giggle. Yes, a giggle. Like I've said; love does strange things to you.
"Ooops, well…I'd tell you I'm sorry for that, but I'm kinda not…" I laughed and sat up on the bed.
"I'll see you tonight?" I said softly and reached over to pet Buttercup again.
"Absolutely," He promised. "Bye, Kat. Love you."
I nodded as I crossed my legs on the bed and looked over at Buttercup, his tail twitching back and forth contentedly as he listened to me talk.
"Love you too, Peeta." I said before hanging up the phone.
At the mention of Peeta's name, Buttercup stood and meowed at me, making tight circles on Peeta's side of the bed and then climbing up onto his pillow and kneading it with his feet.
"Hey! Get off of there!" I hollered at him and grabbed the pillow. Buttercup hissed at me as I pulled the pillow to my chest, guarding it from his abuse. I hissed back at him as I brushed the cat hair off the pillow and set it back down against the headboard and yawned unexpectedly.
"He was mine first, you know?" I asked grouchily and Buttercup hissed again and hopped off of the bed.
It was only early afternoon but with the way it looked outside, it felt like early evening. After not sleeping well for a few weeks paired with the depression I'd been battling, it had become typical for me to take naps. I closed the curtains, slipped off my pants, and climbed under the last thing I remembered before drifting off to sleep was pulling Peeta's pillow close and burying my face in it.
My sleep was plagued with more nightmares than I'd had in some time. I couldn't remember any specific details, but I knew Peeta being in danger was the central focus of them all. When I woke up with a start, it was dark and I was temporarily disoriented as I sat up and looked around the room.
"Peeta…" I whispered and reached a hand out to his side of the bed. It was cold and empty and the blood in my veins instantly ran cold with panic.
"Peeta!?" I called out again and slid over to run my hands all over the mattress, searching frantically for any sign of him.
"PEETA!?" I cried louder and heard quick, heavy footsteps coming up the stairs.
The hallway light flipped on, bathing me in light from the open bedroom door. It was suddenly partially blocked by a figure standing in the doorway and I reached shakily for the bedside light and turned it on.
"Peeta!?" I screeched when I saw his face and scrambled out of the bed and ran into his arms. He held me tightly, shushing me and when he pulled back to look down into my eyes he looked completely bewildered.
"Hey, hey…what's wrong? Are you okay?" Peeta asked softly, still holding me close.
"Katniss…please, answer me. Your whole body is shaking…" he begged and I took a few steadying breaths before pulling back only slightly to be able to see up into his face.
"I…I fell asleep after we talked on the phone…I had horrible, horrible nightmares about….about losing you, I think. And then when I just woke up and you weren't here…" I felt my body beginning to shake again and Peeta scooped me up in his arms and carried me over to the bed where he lay me back down and pulled the blankets over me.
The chill of the winter night was still on him as I reached up to stroke his face while trying to settle myself, so I knew he must have just come in from the bakery.
"Shhh…it's alright, I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere again tonight okay?" He assured me and leaned down to kiss my forehead as he stroked my hair like a child.
Peeta has always had a way of calming me instantly with the way he handles my nightmares. His touch is always so gentle and loving and I can always see in his eyes how much he absolutely cherishes me. He is the best cure for the mental and emotional horrors that ail me, stronger than anything Dr. Aurelius could prescribe.
"Did you take your medicine today?" he asked and lay down in front of me on the edge of the mattress on my side of the bed and wrapped me in his arms. I nodded slowly against his chest and burrowed deeper into his arms.
"Even the one for anxiety…" I mumbled. "And look how well that worked."
I snorted and felt my breathing beginning to calm even more as Peeta stroked his hands up and down my back and arms before folding them together gently on my lower back and kissing my nose.
"I'm so sorry I wasn't here…but I am now. I'm okay, you're okay…" As he spoke, Buttercup pounced up onto the bed and climbed over Peeta's back to force his way between us.
"Buttercup is annoying as hell, but he's okay too…" He said trying to make me smile and waved a hand at the cat to shoo him away. Buttercup raised his nose in the air and moved to the end of the bed where he curled up by Peeta's feet.
I did smile at that and lifted my head to look down at the insulted cat who was trying to pretend like he didn't see either of us anymore. When I turned my head back to look at Peeta, there was an unspoken sadness in his eyes mixed with a hint of hurt.
"Why didn't you tell me on the phone that you were having a bad day? I could tell, Katniss, but I didn't want to push you."
He reached up with one hand to cup my cheek and I stared sadly back at him, my eyes dropping to his chin because I felt ashamed for having not been totally honest with him on the phone earlier.
"I don't know…you've just been so busy at the bakery and I didn't want to bother you with my issues." I said with a shrug. "I feel like I've been stuck in the house forever with hunting out of the question right now."
I sighed miserably and brought a hand up out of the covers to stroke through his shaggy hair that he'd been letting grow out a little for the winter.
"I've…missed you a lot the last few weeks and the weather hasn't exactly helped my mood any." I admitted and Peeta leaned in and kissed my lips with such gentleness that I felt the last of my anxiety disappear.
"I noticed that. Would you feel better if I took you to work with me a few days? Tomorrow is Saturday, busiest day. I could use some extra help…" he suggested and peppered light kisses all over my face and neck. I felt my insides melting and sighed happily against his t-shirt before arching my back and lightly rubbing my hips against his.
"Sure…yeah. That'd be nice." I whispered back and lifted my head to kiss his neck gently.
"Mmm…then we'll get everything done and have Sunday allllllll to ourselves…" Peeta said softly and the only thing that gave away his excitement was the soft grunt that slipped past his lips as he pushed his hips back into mine.
"…speaking of all to ourselves…" I teased and slipped my arms out of the covers to slide them down Peeta's back where I grabbed a hold of the edge of his t-shirt and started tugging it upwards gently.
Peeta smiled against my jaw but then pulled back and looked down at me seriously.
"You're really okay now?" he asked stroking my cheek with the back of one hand.
I nodded slowly and smiled up at him with tears in my eyes as I realized I really was okay.
"I am. I needed you and now you're here…" I whispered and kissed his lips slowly at first but deepening as I tugged his shirt up and over his head, tossing it aside as Peeta climbed on top of me. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I sucked on it, groaning as it tangled with my own.
"I'm always here, sweetheart…." Peeta gasped into my mouth when we stopped to take a breath.
"Always." He said staring down into my eyes, his pupils dilated, but not in a way that scared me.
Well, at least it hadn't scared me since the first time I saw it on the night we made love for the first time. But the fear that night had been the kind of fear that comes with not knowing what to expect. Almost ten years later, I knew exactly what to expect and it still had the same effect on my libido as that first time.
"Love you…" I said biting my lip as I looked up at him, my breathing coming in short, needy pants. Peeta reached over and turned off the light on the nightstand but left the hall light on.
As he struggled up onto his knees and pulled the t-shirt I had fallen asleep in over my head, I saw Buttercup stand, yawn and then hop down from the end of the bed and saunter out the door. He may have been the meanest, ugliest cat alive, but he knew when to make himself scarce.
"Love you too, Kat…scoot over." Peeta whispered with a smile and unbuttoned the front of his pants.
I moved over to the middle of the bed and Peeta climbed under the covers with me once he pushed his pants and shorts down and tossed them over the side of the bed. I heard the tell tale pop of him removing his newest model prosthetic and I snuggled into the covers as I watched him lean over the side of the bed and prop it against the nightstand.
He took his time, climbing back on top of me, rubbing his nose gently against mine as I pushed up against him through my thin underwear.
"Off." I gasped sharply, my hopes for foreplay losing out to the desire I had for Peeta to be pounding into me as soon as possible.
"Uh uh…" Peeta grinned, shaking his head as he kissed his way down between my breasts and sucked and kissed each of them in turn until my nipples were standing at attention like he wanted them to be. "….I wanna fool around first."
He nipped his way down my sternum, peppering light kisses all the way to my navel where he jutted his tongue out into it before continuing his kisses down until he reached the edge of my panties.
I groaned in frustration but it turned quickly into a moan when Peeta nuzzled me lightly through my underwear and then used his teeth to pull them down to about mid thigh where I lifted my butt to let him tug them the rest of the way down.
When Peeta's head popped back up above the covers, he sat up and slowly pulled the blankets down off of me, looking at each newly uncovered part of my body with increasing carnal excitement.
"Shit." He whispered shaking his head slowly and I frowned slightly before he elaborated.
"I really am the luckiest guy in the whole damn world, aren't I?" he asked himself more than me and I felt a blush spread over me from head to toe but smiled. Years before, I would have squirmed uncomfortably under his scrutiny, but after so long together and knowing how much Peeta loved me and I loved him, I was completely comfortable having him stare openly at my naked body in the privacy of our bedroom.
"I love you so much, Katniss." He murmured as he leaned over to kiss one shoulder first and then across an imaginary line to the other.
"I love you too, Peeta…so much more than I think you even realize." I whispered back as I grabbed onto the sides of his head and looked into those blue eyes that still held a youth and innocence that I hoped against hope would never be taken completely away from my boy with the bread.
I pulled his face down to mine and we kissed with such deep familiarity and tenderness that it felt like my heart swelled in my chest and gooseflesh spread over my body.
"Please, Peet….now…please…." I gasped and pushed my hips into his where he lay next to me.
Peeta groaned and rolled onto me, covering my body against the chill of the room. He reached a hand down between us to touch me and gasped when the two fingers he probed me with slipped easily inside.
"…you're always so ready for me…" he said with wonder in his voice and I nodded, moving my kisses across his face to his ear.
"…I am. That's what you do to me." I whispered right beside his ear and put a hand over top of his, covering his two fingers with my own and guiding his deeper.
"It's all for you, Peeta…only you. Forever." I gasped and his hips surged against mine making his erection dig into my thigh.
The next few minutes were a jumble of sweaty limbs, sloppy kisses and lots of moaning and crying out as Peeta continued to pump his fingers into me. Mine had fallen away and I was gripping the fitted sheet on the mattress tightly in both hands as he worked.
I felt that familiar quickening deep in my belly and I released the sheet with one hand so that I could bring it to Peeta's backside. I gripped one cheek hard as I tried to angle him into me.
"Please, Peet…I can't wait any longer, now…" I grunted and it was only a second before he pulled his hand back from me and then drove his hips into mine in one powerful thrust, making me come undone instantly.
I screamed through my orgasm as his hips continued to pump and Peeta grunted a combination of 'I love you', my name and a lot of profanity, some of which I didn't even recognize as real words.
When my orgasm had been completely rung out of me, it took every ounce of energy in my body to raise my arms up to wrap them around his neck as he continued thrusting into me harder and harder.
After the nightmares I'd had about losing him, I wanted nothing more than to just spend the rest of the night losing myself in his arms.
"Gah…oh, Peet!" I panted when I felt his thrusts getting faster and knew he was close.
Knowing he was so close brought me back to the brink again and I wrapped my legs around his waist tightly, my hips snapping against his as I searched for the best angle to bring me my release again.
Peeta had become very attuned to my body over the years and knew exactly what I was trying to do. Even as he was focused on his own impending orgasm, he brought one arm down from where he had himself propped on elbows on either side of my head and slipped his hand between us to touch me, knowing that would push me over the edge.
And I went willingly, screaming his name as he pinned my hips to the mattress hard and climaxed himself.
I don't know how long we stayed that way, Peeta's comfortable, heavy weight on top of me as he lay still buried inside me, our overheated skin cooling and the sweat drying.
When I finally lifted the hand I had on his backside, I trailed my fingertips up his spine to hold the back of his head where his face was nuzzled into the crook of my neck. I felt a chill run through his body as my fingertips trailed up his back and I turned my head just enough to kiss his forehead where it rested against my chin.
"Hey…you okay?" I whispered and Peeta grunted in response, making me chuckle.
He lifted his head slowly and smiled sleepily as he leaned in to kiss my swollen lips.
"I'm fantastic…that was….shit, Kat." He chuckled and rolled to his back, pulling out of me and eliciting a moan from us both.
I turned over onto my side and snuggled up to him as Peeta turned to his side as well and tugged me back into his arms.
"It sure was…" I whispered and kissed him in the little space between his collar bones softly.
"Give me a few minutes and I'll be good to go again…" I grinned against his throat and Peeta groaned and pulled me up so that I was lying on top of him. I folded my arms on his chest and rested my chin on top of them with a chuckle.
"Well good for you…" Peeta smirked and lifted his head to kiss me again lightly. "…but I'm not 19 anymore, babe."
"I need a little more than a few minutes if you don't mind." He asked, chuckling, and stroked his hands lovingly up and down my bare back before reaching down and pulling the covers up over the two of us.
From what I could feel when I shifted my hips against his, Peeta was right about needing a little longer to recover and I pouted slightly.
"Hey, don't pout at me woman." He grinned. "I've been at work all day."
I nodded and stretched forward to kiss him.
"I know you have been. It's partially responsible for my…amorous mood." I teased and Peeta chuckled again and reached down to stroke my cheek.
"Oooo….big words, I'm impressed since you usually can only manage one syllable at a time after sex." He grinned and then frowned slightly.
"Are you sure you're gonna be okay the rest of tonight?" He asked, concerned.
I nodded slowly and thought back briefly on all of the times just being in Peeta's arms had helped me through the night.
On the train during the victory tour, in our apartment in the training center, in that very bed where we were enjoying quiet pillow talk.
"Mhm, I told you; I'm always better when you're with me." I whispered and Peeta slid his hands down my back and folded them together just above my backside.
"I love you, Kat." Peeta whispered and rested his forehead to mine.
I stared into his eyes, wondering how I could have ever denied my feelings for this wonderful, strong, beautiful man who loved me since before he should have even understood what love was. A question popped into my head and my post-sex brain wasn't quick enough to stop me from asking it.
"When did you really know you loved me, Peeta?" I asked and he frowned as if he didn't understand the question.
"What I mean is…well, I'm sure you didn't really love me from the first time you saw me. We were 5-year-old children." I chuckled and shrugged.
"I just…I was wondering when you knew it was…love that you felt…" I said shyly and Peeta shifted slightly so that we were lying on our sides face to face and propped his head up on one arm.
"Interesting question to ask while my brain isn't exactly working properly…" he mused aloud and I reached over and pinched the side of his neck where he was most ticklish.
"Ow! Alright!" he laughed and grabbed my hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing my knuckles.
I propped my own head up on one arm, mirroring his position, so that I was looking directly into his face. My eyes were wide and expectant as I waited to hear what he had to say. I guess I'd always wondered what he meant when he admitted to me in the cave in our first Games that he'd loved me since our first day of school. He'd told me when forever began, but he'd never really told me how he'd known that what he felt when he looked at me was love.
Peeta ran his thumb over the knuckles of my hand he was still holding a few times nervously and bit his bottom lip. I couldn't imagine what had him so anxious but I gave his hand a little squeeze to encourage him to go on.
He lifted his eyes to mine shyly when I squeezed his hand and I saw a blush rise to his cheeks as he squirmed a little before answering.
"I told you, Katniss. I told all of Panem when I told you in that cave and I wasn't lying…or… or exaggerating." He said shaking his head slightly and let out a nervous laugh.
"I've loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you." He whispered with such sincerity in his voice and eyes that I felt tears unexpectedly burning behind my own.
"How is that possible?" I asked softly and reached out to touch his face, not doubting him but needing to understand what 'love' meant to a child so young. I don't remember a lot about being 5 but what I do remember was mostly wrapped up in imagination and play, not the deep emotions Peeta professed to have been experiencing at the same age.
He sighed heavily and looked at the ceiling, obviously trying to find the right way to explain it to me.
"I dunno…I guess, I just wanted to take care of you. Like, I thought of taking care of you when you were sick…or…or hurt. I thought of having you over my house to play, showing you how to make cakes and cookies like my dad was starting to teach me at the time…" he shrugged and then turned his thousand watt smile on me.
"I just…knew. I wanted to be around you all the time. I wanted you to be in my family." He explained and I was so overwhelmed by his honesty that the words just popped out of my mouth unchecked.
"Marry me, Peeta." I gasped as tears began to stream silently down my face.
Peeta's answering look of astonishment would have made me laugh if I wasn't so nervous about what he would say next so I just lay there, as exposed physically and emotionally as one person can be with another.
"Wh…what?" he choked out and I could see the hope and excitement beginning to blossom in the lines of his face and the shimmer of his eyes.
"I said marry me." I said with a little more conviction and leaned forward to press my lips to his.
"Marry me tomorrow or Sunday or whenever you want." I mumbled urgently against his lips.
"I'll fill out the paperwork now if you want me to, just marry me, please?" I pleaded and moved to wrap my arms around his neck as he fell to his back with a smile I'm surprised didn't split his face in two.
"You really want to? This week?" he asked when we pulled back briefly from our kisses.
"I do…I really, really do." I said stroking his cheek again and smiling sadly into his eyes.
"I'm…I'm sorry I made you wait so long to get engaged and…and then even longer for me to finally agree to go through with it…" I said and shook my head. "But I understand now…I…I think I finally get it and I want to marry you, Peet…I'd do it now if we weren't naked and you know, it wasn't nearing midnight and snowing…"
I chuckled and Peeta laughed and shook his head.
"Don't get me wrong, I'm…ecstatic, Katniss….but what brought this on? Why all of a sudden?" he asked guiding me over onto my back and leaning over me.
I looked up at him, the gentleness in his eyes, the unending love that I was ashamed I ever for a second thought could be ripped away by the Capitol, and smiled softly.
"Because I finally can see it. I can finally see what you see in me. What you feel when you're with me, because I feel it too…" I whispered. "I've been miserable without you here the last few weeks. I…I want you to take care of me and I want to take care of you." I reached up and stroked the stubble on his chin, the scratch of the light beard that came with not shaving for a few days tickling my palm. "I want to spend the rest of my life doing those things with you that you say you knew you wanted when we were just children."
I sniffed back my tears and tugged on one of his arms so that he was stretched out on top of me completely. "I want to be with you all the time." I whispered and smiled up at him with tears shining in my eyes.
"I want your last name." I grinned and reached up to kiss him.
Peeta's response to the kiss and my words was immediate. He moaned and dropped his head to the pillow beside mine, whispering my name over and over into my ear reverentially. Despite his insistence that he would need a break only minutes before, I felt another part of Peeta responding to my news and I hitched my legs up so that my heels were digging into the mattress beside his hips.
"We'll go down to the JusticeBuilding on Monday." He grunted and kissed down one side of my neck to my chest, peppering kisses across the top curves of my breasts and down between them with a happy moan.
"Sure…that sounds perfect." I sighed happily back and scratched my short nails lightly up and down his back and sides as Peeta moved his hips into position.
"Thank you, Katniss. I love you…" Peeta whispered as he pulled back to look down in my eyes as he slowly sank into me. I noticed the hint of a smile on his lips as I threw my head back and moaned at the look of desire he was sending my way.
"That'll give us enough time to tell our witnesses to get ready…" He murmured and nipped his way back up my chest to my lips. "…and in Haymitch's case, to get sober."
Peeta laughed and it turned into a moan when he shifted his hips and found himself buried in me all the way to the base.
"He's going to be secretly happy for us, you know?" Peeta smirked and pulled back slowly with a sigh before he really began to move.
I laughed this time and nodded enthusiastically as Peeta began to drive into me faster and faster and we both felt ourselves losing control.
"I'm sure he will be…" I moaned between our mouths as we both went in for a kiss. "…and maybe not as secretly as we think." I smiled thinking of Haymitch who had somehow become the next most important person in my life to Peeta.
I gasped as Peeta drove up into me in one swift movement.
"You okay?" Peeta asked and I could feel he was trying to hold back from moving how he wanted to.
"Nothing that just feel so…it's so good. Keep going…" I gasped. Feeling the familiar quickening in my body and I tried to turn my head into my pillow to muffle my screams of pleasure.
He nodded and snapped his hips as fast and hard as he ever had before, burying his face in my hair as he cried out through his own climax, shuddering against me.
When Peeta and I collapsed together, somehow having moved to the middle of the bed, I lay gently running my fingers through his curly hair, thinking about how easy it suddenly felt to accept myself as somebody's wife.
"Get some sleep, Kat." Peeta whispered as he watched the way my eyes drifted open and shut.
"I told you, I'm right here." He said and leaned in to kiss me on top of the head as I snuggled in for a nightmare-free sleep.
"Always." I whispered with a smile just before I fell asleep.