When the Red X is on the Door

by MADAM BETH

Post Mockingjay. Katniss and Peeta rebuild their relationship while trying to deal with the trauma of having been through the horrors of their lives since being reaped into the Hunger Games. They are there for each other when nightmares creep in the dark, but how does Katniss know when it is not safe for Peeta to be near her because of his hijacking? When the red X is on the door.

36. Chapter 30

First of all, Happy 4th of July from Philadelphia to all of the American readers and I guess...happy sorry-about-the-loss-of-the-Colonies Day to the UK readers ;)

I am sure you can probably guess from the lyrics I chose to put at the beginning of this chapter that it's going to be a fairly lighthearted change of pace for a change from the overall angsty tone of the story so far. Don't worry, we'll be back to some more angst in the upcoming chapters but I just couldn't bear to ruin their wedding night by hanging the red X on the door. Enjoy!

-Beth

Chapter 30

If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.
If you were the love, I'd be the desire.
If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

Barry Louis Polisar- "All I Want is You"

(Katniss)

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror staring at myself for the longest time as I listened to Peeta change out of his wedding attire and head back downstairs to make lunch for us.

Just like on the night after Peeta and I first made love, I felt I should look different or feel different but I really didn't. Marrying Peeta seemed as natural an extension of our love as that first slow, gentle time we came together in our bed in the room behind me. If anything, I felt silly for having resisted this step for so long when it was so obvious that it was bound to happen anyway.

The marriage certificate itself really meant very little to me, but I knew having that piece of paper and wearing Peeta's rings on my finger meant a little more peace of mind for my boy with the bread. So I had signed the certificate, taken his last name and put on his rings so that the world would know I was his and he was mine. That we were each other's forever and more importantly, that it had been our choice to marry and we hadn't been forced to by the government.

I thought about the unfolding of the day's events so far as I changed into a rather ratty pair of cutoff sweats and a white undershirt of Peeta's and brushed my hair out in soft waves.

I looked at the blue ribbon lying in my hand after I removed it from my braid. I was touched that my mother had thought to give it to Sae knowing that when Peeta and I did finally marry, it would probably be with very little notice. I realized she seemed to be more aware of who I was than I thought and that made me both happy to know she cared and sad that she wasn't with me to share in my wedding day. I had called her a few nights before and told her that we were planning to get married on that Monday morning, but I still missed having her there on one of the most important days in my life.

I gently folded the ribbon in half and then in half again and carried it out to tuck away in the drawer of my bedside table for safekeeping. I didn't want to think any further into it than to say I might want to wear it again on some future special occasion.

To think that I might have a little girl of my own to pass it on to one day was just too much at the time.

I padded downstairs quietly and when I realized Peeta hadn't heard me coming, I leaned against the doorway outside of the kitchen and watched my husband effortlessly put together a lunch of hot roast beef sandwiches and warm cider with our toasting loaf and butter for dessert.

A floorboard creaking caught his attention and he turned and smiled at me shyly. He started to say something but then his eyes roamed over my body shamelessly and I frowned and folded my arms over my chest.

"Seriously? Cut off sweats and an old undershirt does it for you?" I said making a face as I sauntered into the kitchen and over to Peeta. I looped my arms around his neck and brushed the length of my body against his as I reached up to kiss him slowly.

Peeta's hands fell to my hips and he slipped them beneath the edge of the undershirt to grip my bare hips gently as we kissed. He moaned softly and pulled back from me, looking down into my eyes with rosy cheeks and dilated pupils. His breathing came in short huffs and I could feel a hint of his excitement against my lower belly through his own sweats.

"Mmm…it does…" he said making a face that made me laugh. "Does that make me weird?" Peeta asked with a groan and leaned in to kiss my neck lightly.

"No, no way…" I whispered with a chuckle and bared my neck to him more. "…there are way more things that make you weird besides finding raggy old clothing sexy…" I chuckled and then screeched when Peeta slid his hands a little higher to grip my waist and began to tickle me mercilessly.

"No! No! Stop! I'll stop! I'll stop!" I laughed and tried dropping to the floor to avoid his strong fingers.

Peeta followed me down to the floor and used his body weight to hold me down so that he could continue tickling me and I kept on screeching. All of the racket we were making must have alerted our other roommate because we both stilled and looked up as Buttercup stalked into the room looking at us like we were crazy and sat down by his bowl waiting to be fed.

Using Peeta's momentary distraction to my advantage, I put my hands on his hips and pushed him over onto his back on his bad leg side and climbed on top of him, tickling him back.

"Katniss! Stop! Stop! Your fingers are like tiny daggers!" He choked out between gasps for air as he laughed and tried to squirm away from me. I stilled my hands on his chest after a moment when he gripped my hips harder and leaned down to kiss him gently.

"Truce?" I whispered and shifted my hips back just enough to feel the erection he still had stirring and sighed happily as I leaned forward more and lay down on top of him.

"Truce." Peeta chuckled and raised his hips against mine with a soft groan and then sat up. "No more distractions, I want to wait until we get to the cabin tonight." He scolded and set me aside so that he could hold onto the counter and stand up.

I frowned at my needs being ignored for the time being and begrudgingly let Peeta help me up off the floor. I laughed when he swatted my behind once playfully but firmly as I headed for the kitchen table and sat down.

When I turned to scold him he was biting his bottom lip and looking like a small child caught sneaking dessert before dinner.

"Stop looking at me like that, Peet…or I'm going to make you take me upstairs to the bedroom long before we get to the cabin tonight." I warned and glanced out the window to check the weather. "Speaking of, we should probably leave around four. It still gets dark early and I don't want you tripping on anything in the dark with your prosthetic and hurting yourself." I said as Peeta set a plate for each of us down and then gave Buttercup his own lunch.

"Whatever you say, oh great hunter wife of mine." Peeta grinned and I tossed a balled up napkin at him with a chuckle.

"You wanna call your mom before we leave tonight and tell her how everything went?" He asked as we both dug into our sandwiches.

I did want to call my mother but I also really wanted to take a nap before the long walk to the cabin that evening. I had talked to her the other night and promised to call and let her know how the ceremony was and I also wanted to thank her for the hair ribbon.

"Sure, I'll call her this afternoon before we leave, but I really want to lie down for a little and nap before the walk to the cabin." I said and Peeta nodded.

"I'm not very tired so I might just paint for a little while you're sleeping if that's okay." He said between bites of sandwich and I chuckled.

"What? You have to ask my permission to do things now because we're married?" I asked, amused and reached over to hold Peeta's hand on the table top when his face fell slightly.

After so many years together, I had begun to be able to identify the tiny differences between each of Peeta's looks. The look I saw on his face at that moment distinctly said he was thinking about his own parents' somewhat unbalanced relationship.

"Hey…" I said gently gripping his left hand and ran my thumb over the smooth, cool metal of his wedding ring. Peeta raised his eyes to mine briefly and they continued to dart between my face and our joined hands on the table as I spoke.

"We're Peeta and Katniss, not your parents, alright?" I said giving his hand a light squeeze to make him look at me.

We talked a lot about our families in those 10 years leading up to our wedding day and I had come to learn that most of my assumptions about Peeta's mother were correct. She was domineering, had a bad temper and wanted to know what all of the men in her family were doing at all times. According to Peeta, this had led to a lot of sneaking around from his older brothers and frightened compliance to the rules from Peeta who was the youngest and typically endured the brunt of his mother's anger.

He suspected that she had been hoping for a girl when she was pregnant with him and when he was born a boy, it was the first in a line of many times she'd see him as a disappointment. One of the final times being of course, when he professed his undying love for a poor, fatherless girl from the Seam on national television.

Peeta's mother never even spoke to me when we returned from the Games or the Victory Tour. She hadn't even spoken to me after I was 'engaged' to her son. His father was different, always making a special effort to engage me in conversation when I stopped in the bakery with Peeta, trying to be excited about the wedding even though he seemed to know that it wasn't ever going to happen for one reason or another. I wished that he could have been there for our wedding, especially since Peeta literally had no family left now except for, well…me.

The realization startled me a little and I smiled slightly as Peeta nodded his understanding that our relationship wasn't and never would be like his parents' relationship. When he looked up and saw me smiling he narrowed his eyes at me and a smile tugged at his own lips.

"What?" he asked laying his free hand on top of mine and stroking his fingers over my rings too.

"You have a family again." I blurted out and Peeta looked down at the kitchen light bouncing off of our new rings and shrugged.

"I…kinda thought I already did have you as my family for the last decade, but…okay." He said laughing softly and I shook my head.

"No, no…I mean, legally you have a family again because we're married!" I said excitedly and Peeta's laughter increased as he realized how happy it made me to know that we were officially a family now.

In black and white with the new official seal of Panem stamped on top (a version of my mockingjay), Peeta and I were a family.

"Yeah…I know." He chuckled and leaned in to peck me on the lips. "So…like I said, thanks for that." He grinned and I abandoned my chair, pushed my plate over next to his and climbed into his lap as Peeta laughed happily.

I stroked his cheek and kissed him softly, pulling his head to my chest and stroking my fingers through his hair.

"What was that all about?" He murmured against my throat after a few quiet moments. I pulled back and reached for my fork, stabbing a soggy, delicious square of sandwich and bringing it to his lips. Peeta took it and chewed while he waited for my answer.

I looped my arms around his neck from where I sat sideways across his lap and Peeta raised a square of sandwich to my mouth. "I just feel like…" I shrugged and took the bite of sandwich gently with my lips and chewed it. "…for the first time, the odds really are in our favor." I said and leaned down to kiss him again and Peeta smiled and tipped me back on his lap until I almost fell on the floor.

I squealed and Peeta laughed as he righted me and we finished our lunch in each other's arms.

Later, after I'd packed an overnight bag for Peeta and I and a cold bag with some perishable foods I knew we didn't have at the cabin that time of year, I took an hour long nap while Peeta painted in his studio. He'd kept the door closed and so I assumed he was working on the wedding portrait I'd asked him to paint for us.

I had a wonderful dream about sitting by the fire in the cabin eating cookies and drinking hot chocolate with Peeta. We talked, listened to music, looked through photo albums (in which we had collected hundreds and hundreds of pictures over those past 10 years) and of course, we made love on the big cozy couch by the fire light.

I woke from my nap still feeling his kiss on my lips and the touch of his hands all over my body. I sat up in a tangle of blankets with a gasp and touched the back of my neck, toying with the clasp of my pearl necklace which I did sometimes when I was nervous.

I wasn't surprised to find my hairline slick with sweat from the erotic dream and I tossed the covers off and threw my legs over the side of the bed as I tried to catch my breath. Of course Peeta decided to walk in just at that moment and misinterpreted my heavy breathing and red cheeks for a response to a nightmare.

"Oh, baby…" He sighed and rushed over to sit beside me on the bed. "Bad one?" He asked reaching out for me and I jumped up from the bed and hurried across the room, straightening out the undershirt that was twisted around my torso, I assumed from…writing in my sleep.

"No, no!" I almost shouted as I moved to stand behind the big overstuffed chair in our bedroom. "It wasn't a nightmare, I'm fine." I said too quickly and Peeta frowned and stood, moving towards me slowly.

"Please! Don't come near me right now if you were serious about waiting until we get to the cabin to…consumate the marriage!" I half yelled and half whined making Peeta freeze in the middle of the room.

I groaned when I saw a smile threatening at the corners of his mouth.

"Katniss…did you have a sex dream about me?" he asked and a full-fledged grin spread over his face. I picked up the pillow on the chair and tossed it at him hard.

"Hey!" Peeta laughed and deflected the pillow with his right hand. "Don't get mad at me because you had a sexy dream about me!" He said and put his hands on his hips in a way that told me he was really, really proud of himself. And for doing nothing in actual reality at that!

I folded my arms over my chest, my libido immediately retreating thanks to Peeta's overconfident swagger. "Well don't be so proud of yourself, you didn't actually do anything, you know!" I laughed and leaned back against the wall where I still stood behind the chair.

Peeta started to respond but the phone rang, interrupting him.

I climbed over the chair quickly to pick up the phone receiver and smirked at Peeta who was folding his arms over his chest.

"I believe that's called 'saved by the bell'." Peeta teased and moved over to make the bed for me while I picked up the phone with a smirk and said hello.

"Katniss? It's Mom. I know you said you were going to call but I just couldn't wait any longer! How was it?!" She said in the excited way I imagined other girls talked with their moms about boys.

I smiled at Peeta and mouthed 'Mom' before walking out of the room and down to the living room to sit by the window looking out at the snow. "Hi…Mom, I'm sorry I didn't call you yet, we got back and after the toasting we had lunch and then I packed for the cabin and took a nap." I explained and she made a noise I'd never heard her make before on the other end of the phone.

"Oooo! The toasting! What kind of bread did you use? Did you have someone to sing the wedding song for you? What did you wear?" She asked rapid fire and I chuckled and propped my feet up on the window sill with a roll of my eyes.

"Mom…mom, slow down!" I laughed and slumped down in the chair comfortably. "For starters, I wore a cream dress and we did our toasting with the same bread Peeta threw to me in the rain that day when we were kids…" I said and my mom gasped and then sighed happily.

"That boy is a one of a kind, Katniss. I'm so glad that you have him." She said softly and I could tell her voice was thick with emotion. "And the song?" She asked not giving me a chance to respond to her comment about Peeta.

I sighed and bit my lip shyly. "Oh, Mom…" I whispered and felt the emotions I'd experienced when we stepped out of the Justice Building and saw everyone lining the streets return. "They sang it for us…" I choked out and wiped my eyes with a sleeve of Peeta's undershirt I was wearing.

"Who sang it? Haymitch and Sae?" She asked and I shook my head even though she couldn't see it and smiled through my tears.

"No, no…everyone…the whole district was on the road home when we came out from the ceremony, Mom." I whispered and she gasped again. "They sang the wedding song when we came out from getting our toasting bread at the bakery and sang it while we drove home and all the way through our toasting." I said and wiped my eyes again.

"Oh, Katniss…" She didn't seem to know what else to say, and really, she didn't need to. I could tell she was just as touched by the tribute from our neighbors as Peeta and I had been.

"Oh, and thank you…" I said turning my eyes back to the window where I watched a cardinal hop from the bare apple treet branch right outside down to the ground where it pecked at the snow.

"For the hair ribbon, I mean." I mumbled and Mom was quiet. "That was really great of you to make sure I had it for my wedding." I said trying to keep my voice even but I knew my mom could tell that I was moved by the gesture.

"Well, your Dad wanted you to have it, and I wanted him to be represented on your wedding day…" She said trying to keep her voice just as even. "so I'm glad to hear he was." She said and I could almost hear her decisive nod as she said it.

"And I'm sorry, you know about it being such short notice…" I said deciding the subject needed changing. "But we're going to do something in the spring that everyone can come to. Annie was going to send Zale to stay with us for a week at the beginning of summer anyway so we thought maybe the last week of spring…" I explained and she promised she would be there whenever we decided to have our wedding reception.

"Perhaps I could even stay on for a little while…" She suggested. "I'm due some leave time here at the hospital and I'd like nothing more than to spend it with you and my son-in-law…" She said and I smiled proudly.

Whatever had transpired in our past relationship following the death of my father had been healed by our mutual loss of Prim who we both had loved so deeply. Since my return to District 12, my mother and I had slowly but surely rebuilt our relationship to a point that we were much more comfortable around each other and enjoyed a more normal mother-daughter relationship.

"I would really like that." I whispered and my mom made a small noise of excitement and I heard her shift the phone to her other ear.

"Wonderful!" She said and then I could hear another voice in the background. "Oh…that's the end of my break. I just wanted to hear how things went, I'm sure you're anxious to set out for the cabin before dark…" She said and I stood from the chair and peeked out the window again to see that it was getting closer to dusk.

"Yeah, it's bad enough trudging through the snow in the light but I worry about Peeta tripping with his leg." I sighed and leaned my forehead against the cold glass of the window. "I really am looking forward to having you stay with us, Mom. And I'll call this coming weekend and give you more details on the wedding if that's okay." I asked and she told me Saturday would be best since it was her day off that week.

"Sure, that sounds great. I'll talk to you soon, Mom." I smiled and she sighed again.

"I'll talk to you soon. Oh and Katniss!" She called as I was moving to set the received down but pulled it back up to my ear.

"Mom?" I asked concerned and I could almost hear her answering smile on the other end.

"I love you, baby." She whispered and I swallowed a lump in my throat before I could reply.

"I love you too, Mom." I said and gently hung up the phone.

"Katniss, stop! I'm fine!" It was probably the 10th time in an hour that Peeta had complained about me checking on him as we walked through the snowy forest heading for our lake cabin.

I wouldn't have needed to ask so many times if he hadn't insisted on carrying the heavier of our two bags in some kind of misguided display of chivalry.

"You know…" I said between pants for air as I walked back through the snow to where Peeta was lagging behind me. "…I might not have agreed to marry you if I'd known it meant you'd start treating me like a girl…" I teased and Peeta glared at me until he saw the mirth dancing in my eyes between my hat and my scarf.

"Ha-ha." He smirked and dropped the bag down in the snow for a moment before pulling off his hat and wiping his brow with the back of his hand. "It's not too far now, I'm fine carrying it the rest of the way." He argued even as I saw him reach down subtly to rub his bad leg.

Peeta hated it when I drew attention to his disability, but it was also infuriating that he found it so difficult to accept my help when I knew he needed it because of his leg.

"Alright, fine..." I shrugged and slung the food bag over my head so that the weight of it was distributed across my shoulders and I heard Peeta lifting the other bag to follow me. "…But just remember, Peeta. I have certain expectations regarding my wedding night so I hope you're not too tired to meet my needs." I said casually and I heard Peeta's crunching steps in the snow falter slightly and smiled to myself.

Later our boots, hats, scarves and coats all hung by the fire to dry while Peeta sketched in a notepad on the couch and I cooked steaks and roasted potatoes for our dinner. I set the table and turned off the broiler on the stove when I'd decided the steaks were done enough. I noticed Peeta was deeply engrossed in whatever he was sketching so I walked up slowly behind him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, resting my cheek to his.

I smiled sadly when I looked down at what he was drawing. It was a simple sketch done in pencil but as often happened with Peeta's paintings, the subject of the sketch cut me straight to the bone.

Peeta had drawn his father.

Standing at the baking counter in the kitchen of the old bakery where Peeta probably saw him the most, he was smiling contentedly as he stacked layers on what was obviously a wedding cake. Even with as much detail as Peeta usually included in his artwork, I could tell he had taken extra special care to make that one perfect.

I slid my hand down Peeta's shoulder to his wrist where he was holding onto the edge of the sketchpad, intending to twine my fingers with his. When my hand reached his though, I felt something cool poking out between his index and middle finger and pinched it gently between my fingers. I tugged until the chain of the watch Haymitch had given Peeta at the JusticeBuilding slipped from between his fingers and the watch dangled in the air in front of us.

We both just looked at it for a few quiet moments and then I slid my other hand up to his head and scratched my fingers through his hair like a little boy. There were a thousand things I thought of to say at that moment. I could have reassured him that in spirit, his family had been there, or perhaps in whatever form we take after this life they were able to watch us marry. I could have sympathized with him over our mutual lack of living, breathing fathers, or told him to cry on my shoulder if that's what he needed, but as it turned out, saying nothing at all was what turned out to be the most helpful to him.

I slipped the watch back into Peeta's hand, slid the hand in his hair down to his cheek and then gently turned his face towards mine and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Dinner's ready." I whispered and Peeta smiled softly and rested his forehead to mine lovingly.

"Sure. I'm just gonna wash up and I'll be right there." he whispered back and set the sketchpad aside and stood from the couch as he headed for the bathroom. I noticed he stopped to place the watch on the table on his side of the bed before he went on and I smiled slightly as I thought warmly of Haymitch and how much I appreciated his efforts in helping Peeta heal in ways that I couldn't.

After dinner we sat on the couch together and cuddled by the fire, me sitting between Peeta's legs against one side of the couch like we often did when we took baths together. He was playing with my wedding and engagement rings, spinning them around and around on my finger methodically as we listened to the wind blowing outside and the crackle of the fire in front of us.

I snuggled back into Peeta's strong arms and turned my head to nuzzle his neck. "You know it's been quite a while since you had even a small episode, at least that I've noticed anyway." I said breaking the comfortable silence.

Peeta shifted uncomfortably in the way he only does when talking about his episodes and shrugged. "Shh…" he whispered. "Don't mention it, he might hear you."

I knew he was trying to make a joke, but the alarm I saw when I looked up into his eyes made me wish I hadn't mentioned anything about it at all.

"I'm sorry, Peet. I don't know why I just said that…" I murmured quietly.

"No, it's okay…I did notice they've been a lot less frequent." He admitted and squeezed my hand gently to let me know he wasn't upset. "I just didn't want to jinx it I guess. You've just been so good for me…especially since you agreed to marry me. I haven't had a single bad thought since you told me last week that you wanted to get married." He said in awe and I turned my head to gaze up at him.

"Does being with me really help you that much?" I asked, a little in awe myself that the one person so central to his episodes (me) was the same person who he claimed thinking of helped him to get through them.

Peeta smiled shyly back at me and stroked my cheek with the back of the hand he wasn't spinning my rings with.

"You have no idea how much it helps, Katniss." He whispered and swallowed hard as he continued, his voice thick with emotion. "I'd be lost without you." He said with such honesty in his eyes, lowering his lips to my ear and pressed kisses around the shell softly.

I moaned quietly as a hunger like the one I felt on the beach in the quarter quell unfurled slow and sweet in the pit of my stomach. After more than a decade, it was a different kind of hunger, more familiar and exciting in some ways because by then I always knew what it meant and where it would lead.

"Peet…" I murmured huskily and turned over slowly in his arms so that I was lying on top of him and could feel the evidence of his own desire for me.

Peeta nodded even as he reached for my head and gently pulled my lips down to his, responding to the question in my voice that I hadn't even asked aloud.

"Bed." He hissed between heated kisses and I nodded. I sat up around his hips and reached for the hem of his shirt, slowly pulling it over his head and tossing it on the floor beside the couch.

Peeta reached for my shirt next and pulled it over my head with a little more urgency than I had shown with his.

"Take your time, Mellark." I grinned and reached behind my back to unhook my bra, slipping the straps slowly down my arms and then dropping it onto the growing pile of clothes on the floor. "We only get one wedding night and I want it to last as long as possible."

Peeta smirked at me and raised both hands from where they were resting comfortably on my hips and began to massage my breasts and recaptured my lips in a deep kiss.

"Oh don't worry. I intend to take my time, Katniss." He whispered and the sensual promise in his voice caused my hips to surge forward into his on their own accord, making us both hiss and pull back from our kisses momentarily.

"Kiss me." I gasped and gripped the hair on both sides of Peeta's head so that I could guide his lips to my chest.

Instead of going right for my breasts like I'd hoped, Peeta instead pressed his lips to my sternum first and trailed light kisses down between my breasts, nudging the inner curve of each one with his nose so that his hot breath teased each nipple as he slowly moved his nose back and forth.

I grunted and pressed my hips down into his again and Peeta sat up and swung his legs around so he was sitting upright on the couch with me straddling his lap.

"Shit…I don't know if I can manage this take our time approach much longer, Kat." He chuckled and bit his bottom lip as he flattened his hands on my back. Peeta pushed on my back with his hands, forcing my breasts up to his waiting mouth and I cried out loudly and gripped his strong upper arms tightly as he laved each one lovingly.

"I'm questioning the thinking behind that plan myself right now…" I murmured and slid my hands up to hold his head as he took turns tugging each nipple with his mouth until they were both straining for more attention and then rolled first one and then the other gently between his teeth.

I cried out again, loudly and rocked my hips faster and harder into his through our jeans desperately. I could feel the heat from between my legs even through the rough denim. Peeta must have felt it too because he grunted and began thrusting his hips up into mine like he was already inside of me and his mouth fell away from my chest as he dropped his head back on the couch and squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

I knew this meant he was getting closer to his release so I eased off of his lap and stood between his knees as I began to undress myself the rest of the way. Peeta watched intently as I unzipped my jeans and pushed them and my painties to my feet and kicked them into the pile of already discarded clothing.

I stood confidently watching as his eyes roved over my body, lingering on all of the spots I knew from experience he wanted most to touch.

"Come to bed." I whispered and took ahold of his left hand, gently tugging until he stood and then led him across the room, completely comfortable despite my nudity.

"Would you undress me the rest of the way?" Peeta asked with a smile as we stood at the foot of the bed together.

I smiled in response and reached for the button on his jeans, rubbing my hands down the length of his erection that was already straining against the zipper which I then dragged slowly down. I grinned and slipped one hand into the open front of his pants and stroked him lightly once then twice through his shorts when the action elicited a gasp from my husband who was trying to watch me even as his eyes wanted to close.

"Off…take them off and touch me, Kat. Please…" Peeta groaned and I leaned forward and kissed him hard because if there is one thing I can't resist, it's Peeta begging me for sex and he knew it.

I slowly pushed both his pants and underwear to the floor, kissing my way down his neck, chest and stomach as I crouched down and Peeta stepped out of the remainder of his clothes. I glanced up at Peeta and saw the mischevious glint in his eyes that told me he was quite pleased with the position I was in and I raised an eyebrow at him before placing my hands on his hips to hold him still.

"Kiss me." He whispered like I had when I guided his mouth to my breasts and I knew exactly where he wanted my lips.

When we first were together, I always did that for him lying down in the bed until Peeta admitted that he'd really rather be standing when I pleasured him. I asked him why and he bashfully admitted that something about it made him feel powerful. We'd always found ways to share control of what we did in bed and this was one way that made Peeta particularly happy when he was in control, though he said asking me to do it really gave me the control because in such a vulnerable position with my mouth and teeth so near his most sensitive parts, he was truly at my mercy.

In my life prior to the Games as a the callous, independent loner I knew myself to be at that time, I would have been offended by Peeta's admission and the way it insinuated that I was inferior to Peeta in some way. But after so long together and the fact that I was already more capable than Peeta in several ways that were more traditionally male, I saw it as a way of building up his self-esteem and masculinity without feeling like I was sacrificing any of my own strength.

Peeta already knew I was strong. I had nothing in the world to prove to him and we both knew and accepted that which made plasuring him in such a way easy and enjoyable for both of us.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Peeta chanted as he tried to keep himself from thrusting into my mouth as he watched me move my head back and forth. "Shit, Katniss…you need to stop or I'm a goner…" he forced out between breaths and started to pull his hips back after I'd only been going down on him for a minute or two.

I pulled back and kissed the tip lightly before standing and pushing him back until he was sitting on the bed. I leaned down to kiss him deeply, letting him taste his own arousal on my lips. "Leg on or off?" I whispered straddling one of his knees and brushing my center against his thigh playfully so that he could feel how much I wanted him.

"Off…" Peeta gasped and I turned so that I was sitting on his lap with his erection pinned between my back and his belly as I reached down to unstrap his prosthetic. After I set it aside, I leaned over and reached into the bedside table and pulled out a tube of pain cream. I had already seen Peeta favoring his bad leg on the walk to the cabin and I could see just by looking at it that it was swollen.

"Katniss, you don't have to do that…" He whispered and kissed the back of my neck as he stroked his hands up and down my sides tenderly.

"I know, I want to." I answered simply and squeezed some of the cream into my hands and began to massage the stump where his leg ended even as I began rocking back against his erection trying to distract him from what I was doing to take care of his leg.

Peeta rarely let me touch his bad leg except to help him take it off for bed occasionally so I always tried to make an extra effort to let him know it didn't bother me or gross me out in any way. It was part of who he was. While it marked a painful time in our lives, it also marked a time when we first officially met and began to grow close.

After a minute, I felt Peeta's leg muscles relax even as his hardness pressed more urgently against my back and he sighed happily. "Thanks baby, that feels great…" He whispered through the sigh and I grinned at him over my shoulder.

"Which part?" I asked innocently and to emphasize my point, lifted and rubbed my backside against his erection making Peeta moan.

"All of it, Now come here." Peeta chuckled and wrapped one arm around my waist and tossed me onto the bed beside him before crawling on top of me with a huge, boyish grin on his face.

"Hi." I mouthed as he settled himself in the cradle of my thighs and I raised my legs up, crossing my ankles together just above his ass.

"Hi." Peeta whispered back and leaned down to kiss me, slipping his tongue into my mouth and tangling with mine in a long, slow kiss. A kiss that always told me he was ready to make love.

All need for talking ceased at that point as Peeta shifted forward and slid all the way in to me in one slow, wonderful thrust allowing me to feel every inch of him. Even though I knew it was hard for him to do so, Peeta stilled his hips once he was buried all the way in and just stared down into my eyes lovingly.

"Wife." He whispered shaking his head as if he still couldn't believe it and ran his fingers of one hand through my hair slowly. "I love you, Katniss. I've loved you my whole life and I'll love you for all the rest of it." He said kissing my eyes, my cheek, my nose and finally, my lips. Instinctively, I knew just by the look in his eyes that he would either paint or sketch how I looked at that moment sometime in the near future.

"I love you too, Peeta." I whispered and kissed him back as I reached up to stroke his jawline. "It may not have been for my whole life so far…but it's been for the most important parts of it. You make me feel more brave and strong and capable than anyone ever mistakenly thought I was before I knew you. I don't want you to ever doubt for a second how happy I am that you're my husband now." I said honestly and Peeta moaned happily and nodded as he slowly began to move.

"Kat…" He whispered in my ear as his movement sped up little by little.

"Peet…" I grunted back and stroked my fingers up and down his back as we moved together in all the right ways to bring each other the most pleasure as quickly as possible.

I didn't bother holding back my cries of pleasure as Peeta began pounding into me harder and faster and I raised my hips so that they were timed with his deep thrusts. I knew at that moment that I would never be able to see making love with Peeta as a chore or as mundane.

I don't know for how long we moved together like that, but it wasn't long before the sweat we'd built up between our bodies had us moving fluidly enough to drive both of us toward completion.

There were moans and sighs, cries of each other's names, and finally grunts that said we were both barely holding onto our control as we writhed on top of the covers by the flickering orange light of the fire.

"Oh! It's…it's coming!" I gasped and reached for one of Peeta's hands. "Touch me…please, Peeta." I moaned and pushed his hand down between us, my orgasm breaking after only a few strokes of his palm over my swollen clitoris.

Peeta managed to hold on until the aftershocks of my powerful orgasm were winding down and then he flattened his hands on the mattress beside my shoulders and arched his hips into me, pinning me to the bed as he poured into me.

We collapsed in a sweaty heap and Peeta rolled off of me so that I could snuggle into his side as we caught our breath.

"That was…shit, Katniss…" Peeta breathed and I nodded and reached up to run my fingers through the hair on his chest.

"It was perfect." I said kissing his chin and grinning at him. "Our first time as a married couple. I think we did pretty well if I do say so myself." I teased and rested my head on his shoulder while we continued to cool off.

Peeta eventually turned over to his side and rolled me so that he was spooned up behind me and his arms were around my waist.

"You wanna get some sleep for a little?" He asked kissing my shoulder softly and then the back of my neck.

I thought on that for a moment, taking into consideration how I felt. I wasn't overly tired except for the heavy boneless feeling that always came after making love. I shrugged and looked over my shoulder at Peeta.

"I'm okay…but if you're tired, sleep. We've got all night for the other stuff…" I said turning my head far enough back to kiss his shoulder and Peeta shook his head.

"Nah, I'm alright…we could soak in the tub for a little if you want to relax though…" he said and sat up. "…you want to go fill up the tub and I'll bring us something to drink?"

I sat up and reached for my robe hanging on the post of the bed and shrugged it on as I climbed off of the bed. "Sure, that sounds great." I said leaning over to kiss Peeta as he pulled his prosthetic leg back on to go get us drinks.

"Wine? Beer? Water?" He asked and I smiled shyly as I thought of the dream I'd had during my nap that afternoon.

"Hot chocolate?" I asked making a face and Peeta laughed and kissed me as he stood from the bed.

"You got it." He said deepening the kiss for a moment and then turning and striding naked through the cabin over to the kitchen area. I watched for a few moments, appreciating the view, and then headed for the bathroom and turned on the faucet over the claw-footed tub in the corner.

I hung my robe on one of the hooks beside the tub and placed two towels on the little bench by the sink before I sat back down on the edge of the tub and watched it fill with steamy water.

I was leaning over slightly, testing the water temperature when my mind wandered off to review the day's events. I replayed the time in the morning when we had just held each other in the shower, Haymitch's atypically sunny disposition (for the most part), the sentimental tokens given to us by two of the closest people to us in honor of those who we had lost or who couldn't be there.

I shook my head remembering the droves of people who had come out to line the streets and wish us well and felt tears pricking at my eyes as I relived the feelings of that moment when I first saw the crowd. I was thinking about the look in Peeta's eyes during the vow exchange and during the toasting when I suddenly got the feeling I was being watched and swung my head around towards the door.

"Peeta!" I groaned and moved to cover myself when I noticed he was leaning against the bathroom doorway with his sketchpad in hand drawing me.

"No, no! Please Katniss! Don't move!" He begged raising a hand with the pencil in it defensively. "You know if I see something I want to draw I have to do it that second!" he chuckled and glanced up from the pad he was sketching away furiously on. "You knew this before you married me, now you're stuck." He grinned and I groaned and shifted uncomfortably even though he was still completely naked too.

"I just wish you'd tell me when you're doing that so I can at least…I don't know, suck in my stomach or fix my hair beforehand." I muttered and Peeta chuckled heartily.

"If I wanted to draw you with perfectly coiffed hair, I wouldn't choose to draw you sitting by the bath after we just had sex, my dear." Peeta explained with a smirk as he continued to draw. "and I think you look perfect without sucking anything in." He said with a nod leaving me no room to argue.

I just groaned again and tried to keep still in the position I had been in whenever he had first started drawing me. "How long have you been standing there anyway? I'd kind of like to get in the tub and drink my hot chocolate if you don't mind." I said rolling my eyes and Peeta laughed again.

"For a few minutes, and that's enough for now, I can finish up later." He said placing the tablet on the bathroom counter and picking up two mugs from beside it that I hadn't noticed.

"Good." I said turning the water off and taking the mugs from Peeta so that he could remove his leg. Once he climbed in and settled back against the tub I handed him the mugs and climbed in myself, settling back against his chest comfortably and taking my hot chocolate, sipping it slowly.

"Thank you." I smiled over my shoulder and Peeta kissed my lips with a smack making me giggle.

"I love it when you laugh like that." Peeta whispered and sipped his own hot chocolate. "I may have to tickle you later just to hear it some more." He growled in a menacing tone and I grabbed instinctively onto his free hand in case he tried anything.

"Don't!" I cried with another laugh and shook my head. "Besides, I can think of a few other ways you can make me giggle that don't involve tickling…" I whispered and slid one hand under the water to rest on Peeta's thigh.

I grinned when his penis twitched against my back in a silent promise of what was yet to come that night.

After our relaxing bath, Peeta wrapped me in a towel and led me out into the main room where he had placed the comforter and pillows from our bed in front of the fire. I sat down in the middle of the comforter while Peeta grabbed another towel and my brush and sat down in his own towel behind me where he began to tenderly brush and towel dry my hair.

Neither of us talked the whole time and so when I quietly whispered 'thank you' when he was finished, it sounded like a shout in the peace of the cabin as the snow fell outside.

"Welcome." Peeta said softly back and reached up to slowly untuck the towel I had around my body. I sighed happily and pushed the towel aside as I lay back on the blanket and Peeta crawled on top of me pushing his own towel away.

"Love you." He sighed and I echoed the sentiment as Peeta lined his hips up with mine and slid into me. We began to rock against each other in unison, not yet searching for a release, but just enjoying the feel of skin on skin as we moved together slowly.

I didn't realize how slowly until each time I began to pick up the pace, Peeta slowed and lengthened his thrusts trying to hold off a little longer. I couldn't say I blamed him since in his arms that way was always my favorite place to be too.

When he eventually started to grunt and moan along with me, I knew he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer and so I slid my hands down to grip his backside, knowing that it would push him over the edge.

Peeta groaned my name and cried out as he emptied into me, his hips pumping furiously into mine and driving me closer to my release. I nodded and matched him thrust for thrust, moving faster until I found my own release a few seconds later and splayed out on the blanket riding out the waves of pleasure crashing through my body.

We just lay there in each other's arms for a long time, the only sound to be heard was the crackle of the fire and our heavy breathing as we cooled off. After a while Peeta sat up and pulled on one corner of the comforter until it was over top of us and I snuggled back into his arms.

"That was perfect, baby." I said using the endearment I only called Peeta in the privacy of our bedroom when we were alone and lay my arms over his when they settled at my waist.

I yawned as I said it though and Peeta snorted a laugh and nuzzled my hair as he pulled me closer in his arms. "Get some sleep, I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart." He promised and I nodded and stared into the fire until at some point, I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

When I woke in the morning, Peeta was sprawled out on top of me and I was sweaty from the combination of his body heat and the comforter. As had become typical when we slept together after making love, Peeta's right hand had found its way to my chest and was cupping one of my breasts. I stretched and yawned, confident that he was passed out from our last round when I had woken up around 3 o'clock to find Peeta asleep sprawled out on his back and hadn't been able to resist touching him.

I smiled pleased with myself as I crawled out from under the covers and pulled my short flannel robe on, remembering the look of confused, half-asleep pleasure that had stretched across Peeta's face as he woke in those early morning hours to find me stroking a hand up and down his shaft from where I was laying beside him.

Thankfully it hadn't taken long for him to catch on to what was happening and he had taken my hands, holding onto them as he helped me up to my knees and I threw one leg over his hips and sank down onto him slowly. Peeta loved when I was on top because it left his hands free to touch me all over and I loved the way it gave me control over the pace of our love making.

We had each reached a quiet but pleasurable release almost a half hour later when I had raised up off of him and turned over my my stomach, beckoning him to enter me from behind. That was still one of our favorite positions and I knew it would finish us off quickly and then we'd go back to sleep in each other's arms.

I stood by the pile of blankets and pillows watching him sleep for a little until Peeta scooted over to where I had been sleeping and buried his face in my pillow as he settled quickly back into sleep. I chuckled softly and leaned over to pull the comforter up over his back and shoulders from where it had slipped to his waist and then went to the kitchen to start some coffee for us both.

I was making a breakfast of pancakes and bacon a little later when a pair of warm arms came up around my waist at the stove and soft lips brushed against the top of my head.

"Mmmm…I was really hoping we could give spending an entire 24 hours completely naked a try…" He joked and his deep, raspy morning voice rumbled through my back and sent a tingle of desire down my spine.

I briefly wondered if I would ever tire of how desirable this man made me feel and then chuckled as I turned my head to kiss him. "You want to cook bacon naked, you be my guest, sweetheart." I smirked in my best imitation of Haymitch and Peeta grimace.

"Ooo…no thanks." He hissed and kissed me again quickly before pulling back and heading over to the end of the bed where our overnight bag had been dropped. He grabbed out a pair of sweat pants and pulled them on and then walked back over to me in the kitchen.

I handed him plates and silverware to put out on the table and I stacked pancakes and bacon onto two separate serving plates and took them over to the table while Peeta grabbed orange juice from the fridge and joined me.

As soon as Peeta sat down, I noticed his brow was furrowed and could tell he wanted to ask me something that would make both of us uncomfortable.

"What is it?" I asked placing 3 large pancakes on his plate and sliding the bacon plate over so that it was between us at the table. Peeta shrugged and tried to smile, probably hoping to throw me off the trail of whatever was bothering him to keep from dampening the good mood we'd both been in since the wedding.

"Peeta…" I insisted and he cast his eyes towards the bedding on the floor by the fire and then back to me as he shifted uncomfortably.

"This morning…earlier I mean…" Peeta said and I nodded when I realized he meant when he'd woken up to me touching him. "….you had a nightmare right?" He asked trying to sound casual as he cut through his pancakes with a little too much enthusiasm and I stilled my hands which were poised with a knife and fork over my own breakfast plate.

I closed my eyes and cursed myself silently for how well my husband knew me and nodded slowly. "Yeah, so?" I said still trying to keep the casual tone in my voice.

My nightmares were a topic I enjoyed discussing about as much as Peeta enjoyed discussing his episodes. Because the severity of his episodes outweighed my frequent nightmares, they weren't the main focus of concern in our home on a day-to-day basis.

They were terrifying, paralyzing and sometimes so real that I would get stuck in a funk of depression for a day or two because of the feelings from the Games and the war that they stirred up. The panic, the hopelessness, the wish for death to come on swift wings as I tried my damnedest to join my sister and father while I awaited trial in my cell in the Capitol after assassinating President Coin.

"Katniss, don't do that." Peeta snapped and then reached out to cover my hand on the table with his own in apology. "I just mean…you help me with my episodes when you can and…and you made my leg feel about a thousand times better last night when you put the cream on it for me…" He said and reached out to tip my chin up so he was looking into my eyes.

"I know I have my own…3 story building full of issues to work through still and I told you, having you to help me through them makes them feel…I don't know, not quite as unbearable sometimes." He admitted and I reached up to hold his wrist and squeezed it gently. "I just want to be able to do the same for you. I could tell just by the look in your eyes that you were upset…" he said and I felt my cheeks redden.

"You could?" I asked meekly and Peeta nodded and smiled slightly.

"Of course I could, I've lived with you for a long time, baby…" he said and then his own cheeks reddened noticeably. "…it was just, at the time you had my dick in your hand and I figured we might as well tackle that issue first and I would ask you about the nightmare later." He grinned and I rolled my eyes and turned my head to kiss his palm.

"Why how considerate of you." I said sarcastically and released his hand as we went back to cutting up our food.

"But seriously, Katniss…" Peeta said biting a piece of bacon in half. "If you want to talk about it…if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here…" he said holding the other half of the bacon he was chewing out to my lips.

I immediately felt guilty because Peeta was right. I knew he was always there for me just as I was always there for him and if felt a little hypocritical to not share my nightmares with him when he usually shared his with me.

"I know you are, thank you." I said with a shy smile and then leaned forward just enough to grab the piece of bacon with my teeth. I smiled at Peeta as I chewed and he leaned forward to capture my lips.

"Mmm…bacon kisses." He laughed and I giggled before slowly raising my arms and wrapping them around his neck to deepen the kiss.

"Mmm…hey, we should probably finish eating, sweetie." Peeta mumbled against my lips and I nodded but didn't pull back at all. Instead, I slid closer to him on the edge of my chair and rested one of my cheeks to his so that my mouth was right beside his ear.

I wasn't ready at that moment to tell him face to face about my nightmare from the early morning when I had woken up in a panic after dreaming about my father being blown up in the mines, but I found it more tolerable to whisper it to him like that, without having to look him in the eye.

After I'd recounted the whole dream to him, Peeta raised his arms to hold me close and I slid over into his lap again like I had the previous afternoon at lunch.

"Thanks for telling me…" Peeta whispered against the top of my head and I nodded slowly before going back to my seat to finish breakfast.

After we cleaned up from breakfast, Peeta and I started a game of chess at the little table by the front door which led to some competitive trash talk and a wager over who would win with sexual prizes that really made it hard to care who won the game when it came down to it.

After 2 hours and enough building sexual tension to fill the frozen lake outside our cabin, Peeta won and I pretended to pout. That was of course, until Peeta pushed the chess pieces aside and laid me down on the table. He impatiently pushed open my robe and brought his face down between my legs where he wound me up into an glass shattering orgasm before lowering the front of his sweat pants and driving into me in order to find his own end.

He called Calen after we'd napped for a few hours following our exhausting encounter on the table and told him he wouldn't be in on Wednesday either and for Calen to open the bakery again the next day.

"Sure, sure…I can do that. No problem." I could just hear Calen saying over the line as I snuggled into Peeta's side in our bed. "To be honest with you boss, and I mean absolutely no disrespect to Mrs. Mellark when I say this…" he said and Peeta raised an eyebrow at me waiting to hear what the young man had to say. "…if I were you and I just married a woman like her…I'd probably never come to work again." He said with a nervous laugh and Peeta's eyes widened when I buried my face in my pillow to muffle my embarassed laughter.

"Well….thanks…I think." Peeta laughed openly and told Calen he would see him tomorrow afternoon sometime before he hung up the phone.

"I cannot believe that kid…" Peeta grumbled as I continued to laugh as I snuggled back into his arms. "I'm glad you think it's so funny." Peeta said with a quick playful slap to my behind over the covers. "I should kick his ass…" he said finally laughing again and rolled over with me in his arms so that he was on top of me again.

"Well I'm flattered." I said honestly and stroked Peeta's stubbly cheek. "You should be too…" I teased and Peeta scoffed.

"Flattered?!" he growled and kissed down my neck and across my chest before moving his lips to mine and kissing me deeply. "If I see that kid within 10 feet of you from now on I'm gonna stuff him in the woodfire oven…" he promised and I laughed. Peeta tickled me until his tickles turned into caresses and strokes and we found ourselves once more engaged in our favorite demonstration of the love we have for one another.